Hello brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers Family. May you all be blessed
I love how the Lord continuous to use me as an example of such great weakness. This happens every time, he will forewarn me of a test coming and guys I fail every single time. Many times, I am so frustrated with myself and I then tell the Lord, is everyone like this? I bet there are other brides of yours who actually adhere to your council and walk cautiously, after a warning, but nope I don’t. Lord have mercy.
I am truly an instrument of God’s mercy guys, if there is hope for me, don’t you see there is hope for you. He has made it known to me, he allows me to fail over and over again not only to humble me, but for me to hope and have confident trust in his mercy. So that I can tell others about his great mercy. That it matters not how many times you fall, fail, or become disappointed in yourself because of sin, you can trust in Gods mercy to pick you up again, clean you off and encourage you to continue on ahead. So, Lord thank you for your great mercy towards me.
If you all can remember the Lord gave us a strong warning a week or two ago concerning landmines of presumption all around us and that we should be cautious to discern everything before moving forward in an action or even in a thought of presumption.
I had three test and the first two I caught myself and thank goodness the Lord stopped me from making some life changing decisions for two souls that I was praying for and seeking discernment on their behalf. Indeed, as he mentioned I had to pray longer and slower to finally see clearly in the fog.
However, this situation I failed in caught me by surprise. As I was sucker punched by the enemy in my weakest area and hit with arrows of rejection, which led me to open the door to judgment causing me fall into presumption and land right on my face.
This message is more so a teaching on how presumption can lead to suspicion, then judgment which causes a fall. This is one of the enemies greatest tactics to use in relationship of any kind. Friendships, family relations, groups, and especially marriages. I want to share my weakness and expose my sin in hopes it will help another rise above these demon of presumption and trust God to bring clarity and perspective before you react when you find yourself in a similar situation.
The enemy used me to bring judgment on my own intercessory core group. I know right, I am hot mess.
After having a spiritual warfare dream concerning the group. I sent out an email to encourage the importance of joining our meetings. My words were strong, and some members took offense to it however and after sharing the message about jealously some came forth with having feelings of scorn towards me. They confessed all of this freely with me and the Lord in his goodness made us make amends swiftly with one another.
I have come to love our little family and so grateful that we are open, honest and transparent with each other, so the enemy doesn’t get a foot hold. So many times, they are quick to confess their weaknesses and sins towards each other. It’s so beautiful to see and be a part of. That is a beautiful grace God has given are group and I hope we can continue to keep it.
We had another meeting and not all were able to attend, and I left the meeting feeling drained and burdened about our group. I tried to shake it off, so I went into prayer before the Lord to confirm if what I was sensing was true and sure enough pulled a rhema said, “Pray for your children”.
So Immediately sent out a message to the intercessors that we need to pray for the group something is amiss. I woke up the next morning full of anxiety and asked a couple of them to pray for my discernment and for our little family.
When I went into prayer my mass readings, we’re all about being slandered and reproached and not fearing man. As tears ran down my face confirming all I was feeling.
Many arrows of rejection & insecurity hit me hard and thoughts of other recent disappointments hit me as I was feeling so weary and tired from everything, honestly. I went to Mother Clare to receive guidance and prayer how to handle this situation. She encouraged me greatly to press on as I received wisdom to not say anything about this, but simply to pray instead.
Then one of the intercessors reached out to me after praying for me and the group and said, he got good readings about the group. The first was “Brotherly love”, which is always a great reading of unity in the group however, for me he got “Jealousy” and scriptures on “Salvation”. He then said, he had a vision of me standing with bushes surrounding my feet and felt that they were some sort of hinderances in the spirit.
In my pride I thought really, I felt the Lord was telling me differently. I had received a rhema that day which said “Remember this is all about salvation” confirming what I was told. Guys, you would think this would cause me to reconsider my presumption at this point, but I went on that day praying for myself and praying for the group still feeling very vulnerable and uneasy. Then that evening during my adoration time the Lord gave me a beautiful reading which I will share with you guys at the end of this message further confirming that I shouldn’t fear man, to move bravely in the midst of criticism of others and that he has made me a Mother of souls and he stand behind me, paraphrasing.
I thought wow, Lord thank you so much, as tears of now peace came, thinking that I hadn’t discern wrong and something was amiss, but God was with me in this and that is all that has ever mattered to me. Right before I was to go to sleep, I finally went to the Bible promises for a different matter and got “Money’ which almost always means the “world”. I was confused wondering why I got that reading and began to examine myself if anyone of my thoughts or actions had been in the world. I meditated on it for a bit then went to sleep.
The following morning after prayer I got rhema’s and they were not good or encouraging. I thought uh-oh Lord, I must’ve went veered off somewhere. I got the rhema “Psalm 15” and it said examine yourself? The Psalm reads
“Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent?
Who may live on your holy mountain?
The one whose walk is blameless,
who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from their heart;
whose tongue utters no slander,
who does no wrong to a neighbor,
and casts no slur on others;
who despises a vile person
but honors those who fear the Lord;
who keeps an oath even when it hurts,
and does not change their mind;
who lends money to the poor without interest;
who does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
Whoever does these things
will never be shaken.”
Now I really though oh boy, I messed up. Lord show me where I erred please. I sat with the Lord before the Eucharist and he made it known to me that I had opened the door by passing judgment on the group in my presumption and I fell for it. I was stunned thinking, but Lord, what about the rhema’s and the confirmations?
So, I then went to the Bible promises for the first time in all of this and you would’ve thought I would have gone to the Lord to confirm before, but I was so sure in my presumption, so I didn’t feel the need to discern. I then asked the Lord if there was any slander coming within the group got “Jealousy” which always means no, I’m in disorder.
Then it made sense why one of the intercessors got “Jealousy about me when he prayed because I was in complete disorder. The bushes around my feet later I realized where of hinderances of rejection, insecurity, judgment, and fear. Jesus then began to reminded me of the reading I had got that night about “Money” which always means the world and he was trying to tell me the slander was coming from the world, outside not within. It could from be old friends, extended family members, even the demons themselves, but Jesus didn’t make it clear who it was, and I had presumed just like he told me not too.
I felt so foolish and ashamed for my attitude the day before and realized I had been sucker punched by the demons and I fell for it. By the way, those who don’t know what a sucker punch is, is a term given to Mother Clare by Jesus concerning a strategy of the enemy he uses on us often. When you’re having a good day and everything seems to go well then all of a sudden you get a rhema, a word, or circumstance happens that sends you spiraling down, losing your peace, feelings of rejection, irritation, anger or guilt overtake you and it feels like it came out of nowhere. That is a sucker punch by the devils.
I had done the very things Jesus warned me about, presumption and not going deeper in prayer and discernment which hurt others in the process unbeknownst to them because when I alerted the group that I was burdened for them and got the rhema “pray for your children”. Many began to feel a sense of fear and guilt that they had done something wrong. A few reached out telling me that the thought immediately crossed their mind “uh oh what did I do” and they began to examine their hearts. So, my presumption in sighted fear and insecurity in them.
You see demons of rejection always open up the door to suspicion then to presumption and then to judgment. I am sharing all of this because it is such a common assignment in any form of relationship.
The Lord has made many of us very sensitive in the spirit and he has taught us that when we judge, criticize, slander one another even in our hearts, in the spirit and arrow/ knife has been thrown at us and wounded us. Just like when you walk into a room and you are unsure, but you can sense people we’re talking about you because there was an err in the room and you may begin to feel really insecure, vulnerable and uneasy because you have just been wounded in the spirit.
That is one of the of the greatest strategies of the enemy in any relationship, to wound you where it hurts the most with arrows of rejection which lead you to be suspicious of those that have caused the rejection, then you make presumption in their actions and judge their motives. Which always leads to a fall because we are not called to judge anyone’s motives it is up to God to judge the heart not us but many times, we do it to justify the pain we feel. Which I mentioned above can be very real.
This is so common in marriages especially when you are feeling a keen sense of rejection from one who has vowed to love you. You began to become suspicious of their actions and make presumptions in your heart and mind against them based on how they make you feel and then you judge everything they do. Which opens the door the demons of fear and insecurity to attack your spouse. Oh boy, I haven’t been married yet, but I have definitely been there, and the Lord always admonished me in those situations.
Without clear communication, honest and transparency this can break up many friendships, groups and marriages because the enemy has gotten you to presume something that wasn’t even true and worse sometimes that was never there at all.
Another thing is the demons are getting really clever and sometime that slander, criticism, or gossip you are sensing is not coming from a human but from demons. Many times, I have gotten “Gossip” in the Bible promises and the Lord is warning me there are demons that are gossiping about him to me. Can you believe their audacity? Yes, the demons are always telling lies about Jesus to us so they can break up our marriage and connection. They lie to us constantly about who we are to him, how he sees us and his faithful. So, we have to discern much deeper. The few weeks before I kept getting rhema’s about being criticized and talked about and I kept thinking there is nothing going on in the community and at this point no situation had happened within the group. Then Holy Spirit brought to my attention that the criticism was coming from the demons not a person. I thought to myself that was new for me, usually when I get a rhema like that it always indicates a situation with a person that has happened or that will arise.
So, we must examine ourselves and be careful not to presume anything anymore. Even when it looks like the Lord is confirming over and over again. Let’s walk more cautiously, bear patiently and prayer deeper to ensure what you’re feeling, and sensing is indeed true and more importantly where it coming from.
In all of this I was humbled and sent an email out to the group to apologize for my terrible behavior towards them and asked the Lord to forgive me for my wrong heart attitude.
The encouraging thing is in the midst of my humiliation he gave me this beautiful reading I wanted to share with you guys. That really encouraged me in the midst of this trial and my weakness to persevere in mothering souls. It is from the book In Sinu Jesu where Jesus speaks to a priest, but I knew it was a rhema word for me and it reads
“All that is happening now is in My Hands and My love has ordered all things, even down to the smallest details, so as to make My care for you shine before the eyes of men. Thus, will I confound the naysayers who doubt that I am at work in what you are doing by My inspiration. Go forward fearlessly and joyfully, trusting Me absolutely to provide for you, to protect you, to feed and clothe you, and to instruct you in the mysterious designs of My Heart over you and over those whom I am sending you.
Some of those who are most in need of what I am doing will resist and criticize it. Do not let their resistances and criticism slow the pace of your progress. The work is Mine and I desire to see it flourish, even if at times, it seems that there is no hope and that all My promises have been vain delusions and empty fabrications of your own making. Such is not the case. It is I who have inspired this work in you, and I will bring it to completion. It is a work of My Sacred Heart. To doubt of what I am doing here is to doubt of My love for you. My love for you will never fail. Be humble, and trust in My love for you. Be bold, and act bravely. I am with you, and so long as you are faithful to the adoration that I ask of you, all will unfold according to My plan, and I will stand by your decisions, and affirm the Motherhood that is My gift to you. Stay close to Me and know that I am in you and with you and at every moment attentive to your prayers. I have gathered into this cenacle, as into the hospital of My Sacred Heart, the broken-hearted, the empty, the fearful and the lonely. This I will continue to do, for My Heart is a refuge and rest of all who trust in My love.
God bless you guys until the next message