Dinah – Innocence Defiled, Wisdom Regained

January 23, 2022

Trafficked People of the Bible & God’s Response
By Susanna Thorn

These Stories are only Biblically Based and should not be read as Biblical themselves. I have only looked deep into the Biblical stories of these people and made connections that logically make sense in my mind to flush out the character and struggles of each of these people. My hope is that you will see yourself or those around you in these stories and the God that shows His love to them will become real to you and become your God.

Dedicated to Jesus for His Glory and to my daughter Gloria that she would know Him Deeper


Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and raped her. His heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob; he loved the young women and spoke tenderly to her. And Shechem said to his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as my wife.”

Genesis 34:1-4 – The Bible, NIV

Dinah jolted in alarm at the sound of her father’s voice rise in a screech of anguish. In an instant the other women scrambled out of the tent. Only Bilhah took a moment to throw Benjamin toward Dinah before following. Their wails then joined Israel’s cries of grief. What had happened? Who had died? She was not allowed to leave this part of her mother’s tent unless given permission by her father. Permission only given when a task required it. Even when she was allowed out, she went covered and veiled, as her station demanded.

Dinah shut her eyes against the surrounding cries of her family. How she hated the sound of mourning! The sound always took her back to the place of her defilement. Unwillingly her thoughts went back to that time, the time her innocence was lost.

She had thought to be safe spending time with the women at the well. It was one of her many duties that her mother had charged her, and it had become one of the joys of moving to this place. She as one of the youngest of all her father’s children, the only female child, with many strong-willed brothers. Brothers who cared for the flocks and herds of her father as she worked in the tent with her mother Leah, her aunt Rachel and their two maidservants, all who had given her father sons. She loved working beside her mother, carefully watching and learning how to be a good wife, mother and how to care for her household well. Oh, how she looked forward to that day when she had her own tent and would be a blessing to her own husband! How her mother, and aunts had doted on her, teaching her all that they knew, how they rejoiced with her when her first blood had come! How they spent those seven days teaching her all that they knew so she would be prepared for when her father would give her to a husband. How she missed that childhood, that innocence, being protected by the tent with her family and with her brothers surrounding the area.

Yet though she adored them she longed to speak to someone her own age. She longed to share and speak secrets of her heart. This is what she had found at the well and when they had invited her to one of their festivals she was delighted to go. What bad thing would happen? She had a strong father and many brothers who would protect her. So, she had gone, excited to spend time with women her own age.

Oh, how she wished she had stayed home! She had been spending time with her friends when suddenly Shechem the son of the ruler of the area had charged through the women on his horse, grabbed her arm, threw her up behind him in the saddle and rode into the city. She had never gone so fast in her life and in fear had held onto him. He was laughing in triumph as he did this. He did not stop chuckling as he rode the horse into the stables and vaulte d off it. Before she had any time to compose herself after that fast ride, he had whisked her off the horse and into a mound of hay. In a moment he was upon her and though she kicked and struggled he was too strong. Pain shot through her as he took from her only what her husband should have had. It made her sob as he took his pleasure.

When he was done, he looked down at her, and seem shocked at her tears. He asked her why she was crying but she could not speak. Gently he had touched her brow, in a moment seeming to realize that she was not just like any other women he had been with. Any other women would have been honored at his attention, for he was the prince of the land, handsome and wealthy. Yet this beautiful girl had wept instead of rejoiced at his possession. The tears have softened his heart. He must fix this. He must do right for this girl, she was more precious than all of those in the land. He must have her as his wife.

This is how Shechem had treated her the four days they were together. He had taken her to his home and treated her well. He promised not to touch her again until she was his wife and had immediately gone to his father to fulfill that purpose. They had gone to Israel and her brothers and asked for them to name the bride price as great as they like. How much did Shechem honor her in this, how much did he value her! Yet all that her brothers asked for was that all the male of the city be circumcised like they were. Immediately Shechem had gone to the men, and they all had agreed. He himself allowed to be first under the knife. She had stayed by him tending to him as she had been taught. It has been a pure time seeing his eyes look at her with so much love as he suffered for her sake. How she hoped that her brothers would be satisfied, and that she and Shechem would marry and live a life together.

Yet three days later anguish cries rang up on every street that made her heart fill with dread. Simon and Levi had burst though the door, swords already drawn, splattered with blood. In a single moment Simon killed Shechem while Levi picked her up like a child and carried her out of the house. They carried her though the city as the cry of anguish became a fever pitch as she saw all her other brothers except Joseph starting to loot the city. Yet Levi continued without stopping until they had reached their mothers’ tent. There they put her while their father berated them for what they had done, yet they stood firm at defending her honor. Now all the women, children and the possessions of the city became the possessions of her brothers. From many of the young women her brothers chose brides, the rest became slaves and servants of Israel’s household. All the friendship that started to blossom now had turned to dust. She was still the daughter of Israel, and so had that honor. Yet she was now defiled, unfit for the life she had been preparing for all her life. No man would want an unmarried woman who was not a virgin. Widows usually stayed widows and that was what she was now, without a husband, with no children. She was nothing, desolate, her innocence gone without a trace.

That has been five years ago. Since then, her father charged her never to leave the tents. They also asked her to stay as hidden as possible. For what had been done to her brought dishonor to her father and brothers. They did not wish to be reminded of their inability to protect her, so they hid her as much as possible.

The next day after her rescue her father had told the household that they were leaving and going back to a place called Bethel. A place where the God of his fathers had met him, when he was still named Jacob. He charged them all to get rid of the foreign gods they had with them, to purify themselves and to change their clothes. He told them that this was the God who had answered him in his distress and had been with him wherever he had gone. This had given Dinah hope. The whole camp gave up their gods and rings in their ears and her father Jacob had buried them under the oak of Shechem. She hopefully purified herself and changed her clothes, praying to the God of her father Jacob that He would see her, that He would also answer her in her distress and to be with her even in this place, forgotten and defiled.

Her mother and the maidservants still treated her as well as they always did. Her mother had a talk with her last night telling her the past of why there was enmity between her and her sister Rachel. All three of them treated her as a woman just like they were, the maid servants now with more deference, as if she was now mistress. It was only Rachel who looked down on her, or maybe it was just her condition that made Dinah hurt with longing. Rachel was pregnant for the second time, and the first she had been told had been a miracle, for her mother and the maidservants had given many children to Jacob before Joseph had come. The mothers and children at Shechem also stayed away from her, looking at her with hard eyes of judgement for the sorrow that had fallen on them. She was now a woman in every way, a woman defiled, and she would never have what Rachel was carrying now. It made her heart grieve and her tears come in the night, but nothing would change this for her. Yet she hoped that somehow, she could make a place in her father’s household, a place that was needed and not grudgingly given.

Benjamin whimpered in her arms, scared and uncomfortable of the sounds outside. His cry brought her back to the present and she held him close, rocking him back and forth as the wails continued. His whimpers and feeling of the weight of his body against her pushed her back into another memory, when these same wails cut through the night just like they were now.

How things can change in an instant! At Bethel she had worshiped the God of her father with all her heart and mind, giving herself to Him for His service, broken and defiled as she was. After that they had left to go back to see Jacob’s father Isaac. On the way Rachel time came.

At the start she was not allowed in, for her taint could affect birthing and Dinah did not wish to experience the joy on Rachel’s face of what she would not be able to experience. Yet Rachel’s labour was so intense she was called in to help. She watched as Rachel started to fade as her baby boy was born into the world. Immediately the baby was pushed into her arms to be cleaned and swaddled, which she did while the rest of the women were busy around Rachel. Dinah meekly brought the baby to Rachel who so weak could not hold the baby, but just raised her hand in blessing over the babe. Looking into the baby boy’s eyes in the arms of Dinah she pronounced his name on her last breath. Ben-Oni – Son of My Sorrow. Dinah heart fell to the bottom of her chest as the pronouncement was made. Her eyes welled up with tears as the tent broke out in the cries of grief. She held the baby close to her, trying to shield it from the anguish around him, the anguish that his name now held. This little one had caused sorrow just like her, unknowingly. Oh, how her heart cried out for him as she breathed the sweetness of his skin in her arms.

Her father Israel came in the moment the sound of sorrow went up. He knelt beside Rachel and cried out his grief. After a while, his tears ceased. Caressing Rachel’s cheek he kissed her brow in farewell. His gaze then lifted to see his new son in Dinah arms. Lifting his arms in a request to hold him Dinah gently relinquished the child into them. “What is his name?” He asked. Dinah could not allow the name to pass her lips, so she stayed silent as Bilhah spoke up saying “Rachel named him Ben-Oni.” Israel’ eyes lifted from the little one’s face and his eyes grew fierce as he said. “No, His name is Benjamin.” Dinah heart returned to it rightful place at that pronouncement. Benjamin – Son of my right hand. A name filled with honor and favor. With a sad smile Israel took the babe out to meet his brothers.

From that point on the power struggle between the two sisters that had been a part of the family dynamic of Israel ceased. Leah who had always had the distinction of first wife now ruled over all the wives of Israel and the wives of the sons of Israel. The moment Israel had left with Benjamin Leah had instructed a servant to go find a wet nurse for Benjamin from the women who had been taken at Shechem. She then charged Zilpah and Bilhah to prepare Rachel’s body for burial. At once the maidservants obeyed their mistress as Leah brought Dinah to the side. “Take care of Benjamin.” She spoke. “Take him and the wet nurse to my tent. The child should not be here while we prepare his mother for burial. I place him in your charge, make sure no harm comes to him” At that moment the wet nurse had come, and Jacob placed Benjamin in her arms. With a single word Dinah led the wet nurse to Leah’s tent.

Rachel was buried and mourned with love and care, reminded of the good times as sister, wife, and mother. All of Rachel’s possessions now moved into Bilhah’s tent. Where their used to be the main tent with four tents around for each of Israel’s wives, now one tent stood prominently in the middle, with Bilhah and Zilpah tents creating wings from the main one. Now all the women worked as one under Leah, and Leah gave Dinah honor where she reigned queen. The charge that Leah gave to Dinah regarding Benjamin was never lifted, so though Bilhah took care of him throughout the night and the wet nurse cared for his needs, once Benjamin was able to toddle it was Dinah who cared and watched over him. She had been given a purpose, and she had not broken that trust.

The tent flap that usually was kept well shut was crooked because of the women’s haste, leaving an opening where one could see into the night. Curious Dinah moved to see through the crack, her heart in fear as the mourning rose to a fever pitch. Who had died? The mourning was as bad as when Rachel had died, maybe worse. Her heart cried out in fear as she looked hoping that her guess was wrong. Please not him, it cannot be him.

Please Lord she cried in her heart. Please. please, not Joseph. Not Joseph my brother. Joseph who she had toddled after and played with when they were children. Joseph the one who had come and comforted her after what had happened at Shechem instead of looting for his own gain. Joseph who had come to her in tears for the mother he had lost. Joseph the one who has shared with her some of the lessons Israel and Isaac had taught him, especially the ones that would help in the housework. Joseph the one she loved most after Benjamin. They had accepted her into their lives and household. Joseph and Benjamin were more her brothers than her blood brothers. How she adored seeing him learning from their father at the tent flap as she worked inside. How Joseph would play with his little brother and Israel would laugh and join in.

She had been a part of the secret of making Joseph’s beautiful coat. How she had loved weaving the beautiful colours together to make as masterpiece. It has been a labour of love. How she adored seeing Joseph excitement when given it. How joy filled her every time she saw it on him after. Now looking through the flap crack she made out something in her father’s hand. In a moment she recognized it. It was the coat, the beautiful coat she had made for him. Joseph’s coat, ripped and torn, covered in blood.

With a cry Dinah burst into morning. Holding onto Benjamin she wailed her anguish. Joseph, her beloved brother Joseph was dead.

“Mama,” Benjamin said, looking up at her in confusion, tears of fear and concern wetting his cheeks. “What’s wrong?”

Her grief to great words would not pass her lips, only cries as she mourned. In that moment she vowed in her heart that the calamity that happened to her, the calamity that happened to Joseph would not happen to Benjamin. Benjamin would not be Ben-Oni, he would be Benjamin and she would protect him to her last breath.

Dinah is mentioned three times in Genesis, her birth, the time that she was defiled and when all of Israel’s family went to Egypt. We do not know her story except through these times yet with all that is happening in the household of Jacob we can make some assumptions.

Dinah and Joseph were born remarkably close together and being the youngest of all the children would have probably made a close bond between the two. They would have probably played together as children until the time they would start to learn their different roles as male and female at the time. Yet that time would have created an affection for each other that no one else had. It made sense that Joseph would have looked out for Dinah more than all the brothers, and that Dinah would have been there for Joseph when Rachel had died.

Sometimes the calamities that come upon us or we bring on others without our knowledge or meaning are God’s mercies in disguise. Through Dinah the women and children of Shechem became a part of Israel’s household and became a part of the promised people of God. How many of those women, children and their descendants will be in Heaven because of the defilement of Dinah?

If Dinah had been left behind at Shechem she would not have been there for Bethel and had learned of The God of her father Israel. Neither would have the women and children. If Dinah had been left behind at Shechem she would not have been there for the birth of Benjamin. It was her experience that Dinah could understand Benjamin’s predicament, and it also created a bond with them that could not be broken.

With the death of Rachel Leah Dinah’s mother became the undisputed queen of the household of Israel. It would make sense that a sister would care for her sister’s offspring if the sister died, and Leah would have done that. She would have cared for Joseph and Benjamin as if they were her own. Zilpah and Bilhah though had sons of Israel were still maid servants and it makes sense that Bilhah at the death of her mistress would become the maidservant of Leah, the sister still living. This would place Dinah position in the household higher than Zilpah and Bilhah, for though defiled she was still the daughter of Israel and Leah, which made her the daughter of their mistress, and a mistress herself.

So, though Dinah had lost value with her father and brothers she still held power under her mother’s roof. With Leah as queen that made Dinah princess, even before the wives of the sons of Israel.

Between Joseph and Benjamin there is a gap of ten years. In that time Israel other sons could have married and had children. Leah would have had the responsibility of the care of the whole camp. Zilpah and Bilhah care for their sons and for the duties Leah would place on them. With the wives of Israel’s sons having their own children and Leah, Zilpah and Bilhah helping to raise them it would make sense that Benjamin would be cared for by Dinah. In a large family the second oldest girl would care for the children that were weaned, keeping them entertained and away from the work the women needed to do for the household. Yet Benjamin had no mother, and Dinah would never have any children. As we have read with Leah, she would have understood Dinah’s position more than most and as a mother would have allowed Dinah to care for Benjamin as much as possible.

Joseph was around seventeen when his brothers sold him to Egypt. Benjamin would have been five at the time. Israel at the loss of Joseph kept Benjamin by his side ever since. This would make sense that Benjamin would have received the same training that Joseph had by his father. Israel would have wanted to make sure no harm would come to Benjamin. Out of all the women of his household, who was the most unattached and could have giving all her care and attention to Benjamin to make sure he would not come to any harm, the answer is only Dinah.

Therefore, the relationship with Benjamin and Dinah would have been close and he would have given to her honor as do a mother. It is through Benjamin that she would have cared for his children. This devoted motherly focus on him can be seen though his lineage, for out of all the sons of Israel, Benjamin had the most sons that went with him to Egypt, ten in all. All the other sons of Israel had to share their mother’s focus, as well as their responsibilities of caring for a household and the whole household of Israel. Dinah had only one focus, Benjamin alone.

Dinah also saved the lives of the women and children of Shechem, for if she had been left at Shechem and had not been defiled then when the famine came over the land they probably would have perished. Instead, because they had become a part of the household of Israel, they went to Egypt and were spared.

What would have been the reunion between Dinah and Joseph? What rejoicing would Egypt create for her? It would make sense that Joseph would have tried to make up as much time with his father and Benjamin that he had lost, and Dinah would be the one serving or being served with her family in Joseph’s house. She would be the reigning queen of Israel by that time, for her mother Leah had already been buried in Canaan and the maidservants would serve the daughter as they served the mother. I am sure that Leah taught her daughter well.

These are all musings and hope that for Dinah the rest of her life the Lord brought joy from her mourning. We cannot know for we know that her line dies with her, yet her love and care might have still blessed Benjamin and his descendants forever.

Yet no matter what Dinah life was after Shechem we see that God did not forget about her, for we see that in the Law of God He made sure that any women placed in Dinah’s position will not be placed in the position of being used and discarded.

“But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. Do nothing to the women, she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders their neighbour, for the man found the young women out in the country, and through the betrothed women screamed, there was no one to rescue her.

If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young women, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.” Deuteronomy 22: 25-29

In this God placed the value of raping a virgin at 50 Shekels, which was the value of a 100-day work. In this way the Lord protected the virgins of Israel, and if they were treated in this way the man who did this to them would have to pay 100 days work for them, marry them and care for them all their days. This way the story of Dinah would never happen again, and the women of Israel descendants would not be cut off from Israel, for it is through the women descendants are seen to be of Israel blood.

So, the Lord made provision to make sure those after Dinah would be protected, and ifthey would become like her they would be provided for all their lives, by the one who did the harming. He made sure that the price was steep, for the Lord honored, loves, and protects women and even in the time where women were property He was already working toward the protection and honor of those who were the most vulnerable. So, though Dinah may be forgotten in her lifetime, God made sure she would never be.

Testimony – Persistency in Adversity, Part 2

January 22, 2022

Family, my anxiety was never as high, ever. 2019 was when I hit rock bottom in my emotional and mental stability. The pain of constant fear of being left alone by God was holding me down inside. It was so bad that I had to ask God not to let me remember that year. I had fallen so many times that year. I went through breaking after breaking until I had nothing left to go on with. I see that my pride was as high as the rooftop and that opened [me] to many corrections so that I could see myself in God’s mirror. I was judgmental of my family when I had done the same things that they are falling into. My tone of voice would sometimes be harsh when something was sinful, or I thought it was wrong. Complaining was also something that I did. I had pride in my work and projects when God should have [had] all the glory. Failure after failure of what a true Christian should be, I became. Looking back, my love was cold, and I took everything offensive with whatever correction came my way which resulted in having a cold shoulder.

That year, I was so shallow in my walk with God. I would do formal prayers and carry on with the day ahead. No time for a deep connection in prayer for Jesus. I was quite distant because of fear. Fear of not being loved. Fear of suffering rebukes. Fear of being misunderstood and so on. Little did I know, it was fear all along that kept me from receiving forgiveness. It was fear all along that made me run away. It was fear all along that prevented me from starting over. Fear, Fear, Fear. It was my worst enemy that prolonged my time to be healed from past wounds.

So, there came a time when I got tired of running from the truth. I wanted answers and I wanted them as soon as possible. So, I wrote an emotional, heartbreaking, and truthful message to Heartdwellers email to receive answers and consolation from all the confusion I was feeling. Because I thought I did everything to please Jesus. Wasn’t everything enough? So, after pouring out my heart to the last drop, I finally clicked the send button. In anxious anticipation, to my astonishment, it took a few months to receive something back. However, I waited patiently. Now, the reply has finally come. The one monitoring the email consoled me with her tender care and directed me to someone who would tell me the lord’s heart concerning me. I ask for them to seek the Lord’s words to me. He gave me a wonderful message that literally melted my anger and confusion over His love for me. To keep some things personal, I will share some of what the Lord spoke to me.

Jesus began,

“Trust not in the illusion of your own strength, for you truly have none. Without Me, you will sink as a stone under the waves of the enemy. Stay fixed on Me, trust in My love, My mercy, My power, more than in your own sins, faults, and failings. I know your sins from of old, so bring them to Me, expecting My forgiveness, and then take My hand. I am constantly repairing the holes, breaches, and broken places in you. Do not grow despondent when you see your brokenness. Be contrite, and sorry for your sins, but do not be consumed by them, this can easily become an idol in and of itself when it takes your eyes off of Me. That is an assignment of scrupulosity. This kills the anointing that I have placed upon you.”

Wow! That set things straight. From then, the chains snapped off of me and I was able to breathe anew. Having the knowledge of His love for me again made a significant turn [from] the way I was. Thank you Jesus for helping me change. It’s the knowledge of His love that changes us to become who He wants us to be. I really hope that if any of you are feeling what I felt before, that you really drink in this word so that you can run to Jesus and not from Him.

Going forward, I really wanted to amend my grievous ways. As a result, the steps were taken to fulfill my resolution. Going into the new year, 2020, we all know that was when coronavirus hit. That gave me some time to really focus on His will with the little things. Being faithful with the little things we do day after day. Whatever household duties need to be done, helping people whenever can, by God’s grace and prayer. In 2020, to be honest I can’t recall much on what really happened because we were on lockdown for most of the year. But to praise God that year because we had our health during a serious time in history.

Here comes 2021! Fasten your seatbelts guys, this will take the cake. But to God be all the glory in what you are about to hear. So at this time of new beginnings, I’d say that everything was fine until almost the middle of the year. I was complaining to God again, being disrespectful, and doing things I shouldn’t. I [was] a mess. And so, I had my conflicts with those around me and with God. I cried in anger for how things were instead of thanking Him that He was doing all things for our good. Yet, at that moment it may not be seen presently. I apologize, God, please help me. Pray for me, you guys. At night, I would lust and have strange imaginations that invite evil things into life; weird feelings where they shouldn’t be. It took an awakening to finally see the truth and to not entertain these evil spirits.

Furthermore, something strange took place in my body that I would have these involuntary twitches or spasms from my legs. They would move without my consent. I believed the lie that it was God speaking to me through these twitches. Yes, I was silly to think that. You’re seeing the raw view. Voices would accompany this sort of experience as well. I thought they were good because, after all, I thought it was from God. Until colors started to become clear that they weren’t good. My health was taken. Keep in mind that this began in May down to June, almost about a month of this. So I had such degrading thoughts. Thoughts that would tell me to get mad at my mom or to steal something or that Jesus would give up on me. Then, the bell began to ring in my head that this was demonic interference. They were in my body and caused these twitches. So, I began to do self-deliverance prayers to remove them. Time after time they would not go away. I kept pressing in with the binding prayer and my own prayer, but nothing happened. One night I prayed, and I had an episode of feeling it moving in my body because I touched that area and prayed that they would come out. It lifted me and I knew they wanted to come out too. I pleaded the blood of Jesus and holy fire, but nothing happened. I would try to vomit or burp or something just to remove them. Still, I kept declaring God’s word and sovereignty. At some point, I just bore the suffering while not saying anything to the evil voices. I was in so much despair and questioned why God allowed this to happen to me. On top of that my mom was worried and wanted me to check up [with] the doctor to see what was going on. But in my pride, I resisted her so many times, saying that I need prayer and that they cannot help with this type of problem. I went to the nuns that aren’t far from where I live to have them pray over me, but they couldn’t get rid of them. When they told me to say the name Jesus I would say it, but I would shout it out involuntarily along with intense jerking in my legs. It was like I was possessed. After they tried to pray them out, nothing happened, again. So finally I submitted to my mother to go to the doctor to get checked up. The voices never stopped taunting me after all these experiences. So they checked me and figured out that it was a bladder infection and that I needed antibiotics and B12 vitamins injected into both booty cheeks. AH OH, needles! They laid me down on this bed and I remember being at my lowest because things hadn’t worked after a month of suffering from this. I was shaking like crazy. It was fear that caused me to tremble uncontrollably. I’d had it with that fear. In my lowest time ever, I whispered, “Jesus, removed this spirit of fear.” The first time it didn’t work, so I proceeded again, with faith, “Jesus, remove this spirit of fear”. Again, nothing happened. With one little strain of hope, again I repeated in my whisper, “Jesus, remove this spirit of fear”. Suddenly everything stopped shaking, my legs and my body, alike. And peace came over me, that Jesus heard my faint whisper to help me at my lowest and humiliating point. After all the trying, it all finally ended. Just a few words compared to long prayers caught the heart of Jesus; He knew that they came from my heart. I’m so grateful. To God be all the glory, always and forever. When you feel that you’re at your end, hold on and don’t give up. Let this be something to look back on to give you the courage to keep trusting and don’t give up on God. He is faithful, always, and forever.

Winding down to where I am now. From Heartdwellers Facebook page, live prayers there got to introduce me to Mother Elisha; which then led me to search for more to get to her YouTube page with you guys. A few months into listening to her videos, I discovered that she was planning to help the poor in Ghana. To some of you, this might not be new, but it was to me! That sparked an interest in me to contribute to the Lord’s work. Anything for Jesus, basically. It’s a desire that I had when it comes to serving the Lord through them. I grabbed my Bible Promise Book to ask God if it was His will that I join her. Lo and behold, I got some confirming Rhemas that it really was His will. So I emailed Mother Elisha to tell her what I felt the Lord confirmed to me. She, later on, confirmed it herself that it was true! I was flabbergasted at the hand of God in the details. I can’t wait to explore the new adventure that lies in the work of the City of God community. God help us! I know that there will be David and Goliath moments! Nevertheless, what comes our way will be all worth it for the glory of God through our
Lord Jesus Christ.

In closing, I wish you all a blessed day. May every word here be a source of encouragement for all of you and may God get all the glory. Amen


January 21, 2022

Lord, bless all these souls with your freedom and simple strong love. Amen.

In my Lord’s Supper today, in my confession, the major theme was legalism. Follow the rule as it is told you, no modifications, extracting, or adding anything of your own to what was told you. I told the Lord, honestly taking time out to open up. The legalism entanglement is choking the life out of me. They say, “You are not allowed to do this”; “you are not allowed to do that”; “no, you cannot do as you feel led and inspired to, do as it was told you to the T”; “no, you can’t go and draw, go tend to the ministry tasks”; “no, you can’t use the time now to translate a message [of condemnation] to put it on Facebook for other to be helped – drop the idea, do first the ministry tasks now, you have other things to do”; “no, you cannot tend to properly organize your journal, that’s selfish and a waste of time, you have other important things to do, pray or do ministry.”

“NO, NO, NO!” Always the cliche response.

Fear then creeps in and makes the soul not even want to go and ask the Lord for direction or confirmation, expecting that the Lord would be saying a constant “No” too. Confusion then comes in and bewilders the person making her believe that it is proper what they say, therefore she strives to “obey the Lord’s will”. She doesn’t even realize proper right from wrong—what is exactly the Lord’s will and what is not. It goes to such a degree that it makes one think “what is the point?—all these don’ts and restraints at every turn and every little thing…”

Next, depression and discouragement threaten to overpower, causing my heart to distance itself from the Lord.

“You cannot eat this protein bar”; “you cannot eat that yogurt”; “you cannot buy this book of Consecration to Mary, don’t waste money”; “No, don’t tie up your hair like that [a mere simple bun or a mere braid], you must always wear it as it was told in the books of the religious. That simple braid is not ‘Franciscan’ it is worldly!” “Deny yourself!!” Then I become scrupulous and strive to “obey”, but in the end, all is a cycle of being controlled and taken captive, as if being led like a dog by a leash.

…It becomes depressive. Shouldn’t I know better? Why don’t I know better?? I should’ve known by now the heart of the Lord’s, right?

Oftentimes there is the “not realizing very well up from down, and where the balance should be.” Either I go too high, or too low, rarely hitting the neutral point – unless sustained by the Lord’s grace to uphold me in that neural state.

At times, though, I still do it anyway—the things I desire to do—despite all this gamut of Legalism coming against me. And after doing the thing I wished, they still attempt to confuse insinuating maybe it was not exactly the Lord’s will, and fear and guilt still attempt to bark and gain control even then. But after doing it anyway, if it was indeed within the Lord’s will and he was okay with that, despite the devil’s barking – joy and peace of heart are noticed deep down. To aid me in the moment, he lets me see a heart shape somewhere around me, which helps and cools down that constant fear of whether I am within his will or not.

So, the Lord, after sharing all these with him and asking his forgiveness in the Lord’s Supper, the readings landed on the Theme of “LAW AND WORSHIP.”

Which said as its explanatory introduction:

“We are proud to be a nation ruled by laws and not by whims of individuals. There is much wisdom invested in our Constitution and in most of our laws are well. But when we permit things to get out of control and do not let the laws work as was intended by the founding fathers, the country is in trouble. However, when the insight that we are a nation under laws prevails once again, and we let the system work, we recover from setbacks.

“Today’s Scripture deals with laws [First Reading], devotion from them [Gospel], and the reaction by a man who was concerned. We must be careful though, not to regard God’s commandments as mere civil laws. In our relation to God, we Christians see ourselves in a family setting. The wish of a father who cares for his children is not a law in the same sense as a law found in our civil code of laws. We are related to God as children to a loving father.

“There is one absolute rule we must go by and that is love for God and neighbor. Other commandments derive their reason for existence only from the law of love (Mt 22:40), and we should understand them in the light of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Mt 5.) Obedience to commandments should always be motivated by love!”

The introduction concluded. Adding somewhere else, “In observing laws, we Christians should be motivated by love: “You did not receive a spirit of slavery to
fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, Abba, ‘Father’. (Rom 8:15)”

On the First Reading, the Lord mentions the Ten Commandments, which was a good reminder:

“In those days, God delivered all these commandments: ‘I, the Lord, am your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that place of slavery. You shall not have other gods besides me. [You shall not carve idols for yourselves in the shape of anything in the sky above or on the earth below or in the waters beneath the earth; you shall not bow down before them or worship them. For I, the Lord, your God, am a jealous God, inflicting punishment for their fathers’ wickedness on the children of those who hate me, down to the third and fourth generation; but bestowing mercy down to the thousandth generation, on the children of those who love me and keep my commandments.

“You shall not take the name of the Lord, your God, in vain. For the Lord will not leave unpunished him who takes his name in vain.

“Remember to keep holy the sabbath day. Six days you may labor and do all your work, but on the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord, your God. No work may be done then either by you, or your son or daughter, or your male or female slave, or your beast, or by the alien who lives with you. In six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them; but on the seventh day, he rested. That is why the Lord has blessed the sabbath day and made it holy.

“Honor your father and your mother, that you may have a long life in the land which the Lord, your God, is giving you.

“You shall not kill.

“You shall not commit adultery.

“You shall not steal.

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not cover your neighbor’s wife, nor his male or female slave, nor his ox or ass, nor anything else that belongs to him.”

That was the end of the First Reading, in the Lord’s Supper, the Ten Commandments

In the Responsorial Psalm (Ps 19) there was a verse which stood out, saying;

“The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing in the heart,” not gloomy and depressive. “the command of the Lord is clear,” not confusing, something that bewilders, “enlightening the eye.” Not snuffing the life out of you in a demanding way as this Legalism Spirit makes one feel, almost at every turn making me feel that I am slipping up and offending God with some kind of disobedience.

Then, through one of Padre Pio’s books, I was told:

“Your imagination and the devil want you to believe that you are continually offending God and that you are always, or almost always, resisting divine calls. The vigilant grace of the heavenly Father keeps you at a safe distance from falling into such infidelities.”

At the point, as I had worship song playing, a song titled “RISE” by Danny Gokey began, which was fitting as though confirming, “Rise up from this!”

Padre Pio continued, “Be reassured on this point, I assure you that thoughts like those are coming from your imagination and the devil. Guard yourself [against giving them any importance. They have no [other] aim than to cool your feelings of affection toward the heavenly Bridegroom and to trouble you about attaining Christian perfection by pointing out how difficult and impossible it is for you. And what is worse, these thoughts aim more directly to dry up or drain off whatever feelings of devotion are in your heart.”

He is right. That is how it felt with me.

Then through the Diary of St. Faustina, the theme was about, “To know you O Lord,” which made me understand that by coming to know the Lord’s heart and character, personally and intimately – knowing someone by heart, you would instantly know what pleases him and what displeases him by instinct, thus Legalism’s grips will be destroyed. Recalling even how in the movie The Shack, which I had seen the night before, Jesus said to that man that what he desired is not “religion/religiousness”— “behave well, do good works, follow the rule.” But that he desired friends, a family who loves Them [the Trinity] and comes to know the love of the Father, which makes them [the souls] free. That’s all he wants.

A few days later, typing this message down, debating if to make this a message or not, I said to the Lord that if he wanted it to be a message, he had to give me something of him.

The original version, which I had written down, was a mess of depressive complaining and frustration [Laugh]. And barely did I manage to finish this thought, that a song begins to play, titled, “LOVE GOD, LOVE PEOPLE”. Fitting the shoe of this message: Keep it simple. Love God. Love people. The Lord is always trying to tell me that He is not, how they say and seem it to be about Him, with all the do’s and don’ts. He’s trying to make me come to know His heart, truly, so that any legalism, any religious spirits, any captivity, or prisoner spirits will not have their grip on my life anymore. May the Lord give you great courage to persevere against any legalism spirits for those of you who are struggling with this also.

And, as a little side note. The Lord is wanting me to start a channel on YouTube. Therefore, I am starting one. It goes by the name of “Theresian Petals”. It has the same name as my website which is soon to be released soon. So I will be posting most on that YouTube channel. You are welcome to drop by. Basically, I can say that it is not totally finished, the channel, I’m still working on it. And the same with the website. My website is going to be mainly about the messages and the artwork that the Lord and I do together, and who knows what else He is going to add over there. But the YouTube channel is there so you can go and check it out, as you wish. And, yes, gradually it’s going to be more and more complete.

God bless you guys. Until the next time.

Testimony – Persistency in Adversity (Part 1)

January 20, 2022

Persistency In Adversity
Aza’s Testimony

Hello From Jesus with Love family! I’m Aza. I’d like to share my testimony of who I am and how I came to the Lord and end up here, with you guys! I’m a typical Caribbean girl that loves to learn about the Lord, pursue his will, and grow close to Jesus in prayer. But in the beginning, it wasn’t all sunshine. Even now I have my slip-ups.

Let’s just say, as a little girl, I grew up in a Catholic church. At a very young age, I was introduced to the Bible, Jesus, the eucharist, and all the different things you would know about Catholics. I even attended CCD, a little Catholic school, to further my knowledge of Jesus and even the Blessed Mother and Saints. If I can be honest, there were times when I lost my faith in how things were done in church because of what I used to listen to on YouTube. FYI [for your information], be careful what you listen to.

Anyway, over time I used to go online and to know more about the Lord. I’d see people talk about vision and dream, warning videos of Jesus’ second coming, and the do’s and don’ts of Christianity—till it led me down to become a bit religious. A religious spirit. I’d even try to do what they do and warn people. Little did I know it’s Love that leads men to repentance not beating them with the truth or even half-truths.

About church, there came a time when they would have us—my peers and I—to become confirmed so that we’d be able to take the body and blood of Jesus Christ. I felt that after that time I received dreams and visions. LOL, not too much now. But when they happened, I would see visions wide awake, have spiritual dreams, and hear the voice of Jesus. However, it has been over seven years since I received an awake vision but it’s ok, it’s o-kay. There was a moment when I laid down in my bed, that the electricity cut off in the middle of the night. In the stillness of the night, in my mind, I said “Jesus”. Then I heard a voice ask me “What can I do for you?” When I said “current”, something really cool happened. The thing is, I didn’t even say the full would current, which is what we say here where I live, I only said the “c” and after that, it miraculously went back on at that very moment. At that moment I knew that it was Jesus and that he cared about me on that sweaty night. He is amazing y’all, He really is.

Furthermore, on my journey down the road of getting close to the lord, I got in a sticky situation. Because of the bad company at school, profane language was suddenly rubbed on me like putting on a dirty sock. I spoke dirty and it wasn’t till later that I finally got out of saying those ugly things. And to speak of even a stickier situation, well, in my curious age of wanting to know, I stumbled across a dangerous addiction of pornography. It led to masturbation which was also a dangerous slippery slope. I’m no saint; you are seeing the raw view of my life struggles and I hope, as I share these personal matters, that you’ll know that Jesus really does save. This addiction went on for a very long time, ever wanting, never satisfying. But the desire slowly but surely went away. The power of God, I believe, made this possible. In His mercy, grace was given to destroy the demons that accompany that type of lifestyle so that I can be free. And from that time of departing, I can say that I haven’t gone back. But I give God all the glory for what is impossible to man, is possible for God. Be willing to give up and he will add the difference! By the way, that doesn’t stop the demons from planting dirty thoughts into your mind, so you have to keep fighting.

Sometime later, after searching and searching for more about Jesus on YouTube, I saw a video that was quite fascinating to me. It was on Jesus’ messages to Mother Clare, but it wasn’t directly from Mother Clare; rather it was a branched-off ministry (Love Letters from Jesus). It was a beautiful message that made me see a different side of Jesus that I hadn’t seen before. At that time, I saw an intimate friend, in the here and now—not just in heaven. Very loving and understanding, He was to Mother Clare. That newfound revelation sparked an interest in me to hear more of the pure and true words of Jesus. Eventually, Mother Clare’s original channel I came across, finally! Her messages from our Lord opened my eyes to the heart of the matter with Jesus, intimacy. A friendly, human, and God with immense Power and glory but with a tender love that none can really fathom. It’s like peanut butter and jelly. To very different flavors, yet it goes perfectly together. The peanut butter is the God part and the jelly the Human part. I hope I’m not getting you hungry. Sorry. I found a new addiction—the Jesus addiction. Because couldn’t get enough of Him. I was just about on point with every message put out, day by day.

Some years after hearing His words, there were times I could feel that He was speaking directly to me through Mother Clare. Times when, He would speak right into my situation, either its encouragement, instruction, or admonishment. That’s when I knew that it was getting real and He’s calling us to be holy like him—to be separate from the world and the ways of the world. I was going to a University after school, but I heard Him through Mother for me not to go. So I obeyed and haven’t looked back since. That would have dragged me further into the ways of how the world works. Thank you, Jesus. Not only that, but if I was a bit shallow in my walk He was going to point it out. But I’ve come to realize that a good Father or leader would point out our fault to correct us so that we would know better. He corrects us because He loves us and because He knows all. It very well maybe something that would save us in the future. Getting instruction from Mother Clare on shuffling a playlist to hear the voice of God really helped me.

After some time of absorbing His holy words through the Still Small Voice channel, I began to journal because at that point she wanted us to begin to hear the Lord for ourselves. It took me some time to warm up to knowing that He speaks in the silence of our hearts. Through perseverance, I was able to communicate with the Lord, in hearing His words to me, and finally, our relationship grew. Not to say there weren’t any ups and downs. Like any relationship, it will entail a certain struggle, but the thing is, we have to fight through it. Speaking of struggles, some time ago, depression and anxiety had a grip on me and my mental health. Most of the time my depression would come from wanting a certain thing that I didn’t have or my depravity of prayer time with the Lord. There was a time when I wasn’t faithful to be there for Him. I would have that rush, rush feeling to get things done. Little did I know my tank was getting emptier by the minute. No prayer time and studying His word was given for him but I would rather go and do a silly project than to pray first. I know I am terrible. I had to learn the hard way not to do that to Him. When your tank is empty you are dried up and your fruit will be dried up too. John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” I’d do my daily task, but I would feel so down inside. And on top of that my anxiety would kick in and I would feel an overwhelming feeling of the Lord being displeased with me. When I get a corrective Rhema I would feel so downtrodden by the message that I would want to give up. It was bad, guys. It got so bad that I would have suicidal thoughts, thinking I wasn’t good enough, and what I do, didn’t match up to His standards. I had terrible thoughts of turning away but despite it all, I persevered in the Lord.

You Are Being Trained in Lasting Perseverance

January 19, 2022

Hello, Brothers, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family. We thank the Lord for giving us all lasting perseverance.

As you all are aware the whole community is now really sick. There are about four or five of us who can really walk around and do something. It’s been difficult but it’s definitely drawn us much closer together. This is going on now for three weeks. I am feeling better, but not 100%— still having headaches and migraines in the morning.

During prayer, I pulled a Rhema from my card file and it read, “This illness is not unto death, it is for the glory of God so that the Son of God may be glorified by means of it” John 11:4. On the back, it said, “Lazarus will RISE!”

Wow, that was an encouragement!

After receiving the Lord, I knew he wanted to speak. Good morning Lord, what is on your heart?

Jesus began,

“Beloved I am the lifter of your weary head. Indeed this sickness is not unto the death of your dreams, your body, or your soul, but it is so that My glory may be made known and manifested. Your enemies will be astonished at what I do here in the community. What they intended, to bring about your demise, the death of this community, and even some of the souls here, I will revise, restore, and heal—leaving this community better than it was when it started. You all will have greater tenacity, courage, and strength once I am done. Your restoration will be to their demise. Don’t give up and continue to preserver in the things I have given you to do.”

Thank you, Lord, for your great mercy towards us. Thank you so much, Jesus.

“My beloved, these times call for a great measure of perseverance and a greater measure of faith. Everyone is being stretched, I mean everyone. Those who are mine are being sustained by My grace and those who still reject my love and their salvation are becoming hopeless and falling into utter despair. To live in these days without Me is a grave mistake and quite unbearable to cope with all that comes against a soul. Simply they won’t make it. But, My brides, allow Me to be the source of your hope and strength, The Rock which you not only stand on—but live on. With me as your anchor, you will make it through and be a source of help for many others.

I want to talk to My brides of lasting perseverance. To preserver in a moment is one thing, but lasting perseverance is the work I am doing in all My brides in this hour. You will need this great virtue for the days ahead and for the events to come. So many give up so easily. My people have not been taught how to wait upon Me, or how to preserver in Me. You live in a generation that desires everything quick, fast, and instant and that goes for those in My church. Many don’t know how to pray perseveringly. Rather they have quick prayers, quick scriptures of reference, and quick sayings of deliverance in hopes that I work according to their time frame and their desires. But, my people, now is the time for you to be built up in faith which comes with many tests and trials to do just that.

Satan doesn’t work instantly although he would like for you to think so as he has enticed so many to live for temporal satisfaction and pleasures and to live for instant gratification, having no thought of eternity. Whiles he has had centuries to study mankind, and years and hours of studying you—knowing your ins and outs, your likes and dislikes, and your nature to set up fanciful traps tailor-made just for you to ensure you to keep your mind and heart on this earth which is soon passing away.

You see he is willing to take as much time as needed to entrap just one soul. But my people are not willing to wait, be trained, equipped, and built up in Me to take back souls from him. In order to do that you must be tested like fire-tried gold (1 Peter 1:7). You must be broken over and over again from the pride of your own strength, the pride of your own knowledge, and the pride of respectability not wanting to be made of no account to anyone but to Me. Mother Clare was right, My beloved little one, the ancestral inheritance of pride in your family runs very, very, deep and if you are going to stand like a high rise tower in Me I must break up your foundation and do a deep work so there is no crack in your edifice. Because when you go down you will take many, many, others with you and that cannot be done. That is why your breakings are most frequent.”

As an aside after this most recent breaking, Mother Clare said to me, Pride must run really deep in your DNA if the Lord is doing such a deep work like this. I thought to myself, Huh, I never thought about that. I can imagine it does come from a presidential and royal family that prides itself on our name and status. I can’t imagine who my ancestors were as well, and what they did in this life, but the Lord isn’t having it with me.

Jesus continued,

“Remember, I once told you, accelerated trials are accelerated maturity do not forget that.

“My brides, I am maturing many of you in this hour with the trials I am allowing. The world will soon enter the greatest hour of trial it has ever known and each trial strengthens your ability to persevere admits the greatest opposition, the greatest resistance, and the greatest inclination to give up. With each yes, and a step forward in obedience, you grow in perseverance. There will be many of you I will use in a mighty way for My glory in these end times and you are called to preserver until the end. Where many hearts will fail, and many will fall away you will be a beacon of light and hope to those all around you to preserver.

“My church doesn’t know how to persevere yet especially in this nation, but they will soon find themselves face to face with such strong demonic opposition that they cannot pray away easily or even run from. They will have to learn to persevere in Me while being faithful. My beloved brides thank Me for each trial. I am suffering within you, with you, and for you along the way. You will be known as brides with lasting perseverance who finished well.”

Matthew 24: 12-13
Because of the multiplication of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold. But the one who perseveres to the end will be saved.

My heart was then fixed on a soul who is being oppressed by demons and we’re having to do deliverance on her. When I spoke to her recently she was so angry at
God for her trial, and I was really concerned about her. So I asked the Lord, ‘Do you have a word for this soul? She is utterly despondent and so angry, Lord?’

Jesus responded,

“My beloved, I love this soul more than she could imagine or know. It is very hard for her right now, and let her know I understand. But what was done to her was permitted ages ago, and there are many things she came in agreement with, in the spirit, that I have to undo one by one. She must humble herself and trust in My mercy. Posture herself at the foot of my cross and hide herself in My merciful side for now.

She must relinquish all rights, even to herself and body, and know that I am working this out for her good. This is so very good for her, what I am doing, and what I will bring her through. It is the cause of the salvation of many souls, and her liberation will be the cause of the liberation of a sea of souls entrapped and held by this wicked marine kingdom. I am using this to expose their works and expose this realm of the king of darkness that others may be set free. Her deliverance is drawing nigh—tell her to thank Me instead and patiently bear this cross in lasting perseverance until the appointed time.”

Thank You, Lord, so much.

That was the end of Jesus’ message.

God bless you, family, until the next message.

Belonging to Christ – Spiritual Poverty

January 17, 2022

Hello, Brothers, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family. May we all receive the grace to walk in spiritual poverty.

The Lord has put it on my heart to do a series of teachings to help his brides renew their vows again—to give their lives, hearts, minds, bodies, attentions, and wills completely to him in abandonment and, of course, it starts with me. I have been struggling tremendously as I realized that two years ago I was much more fervent in spirit to really give myself over to Jesus—to really crucify self and climb this mountain of holiness. However, with all the battles, trials, contradictions, I have been injured in the process and realize that my love is now selfish again, fearful again, and unwilling again to subject itself to the Lord’s loving blows. I simply told Jesus; Lord I am tired of loving.

The Scripture says perfect love casts out all fear, but I realize that because of fear of suffering, failures, and humiliations my love has become guarded, and I am hesitant to give my heart fully again to Jesus. I am just being very honest with you, guys, in hopes that someone listening can relate and benefit from these teachings. As I am working on this series I realize that it is not just for you but for me too, to refresh my mind, to renew my heart, and to give me new courage to yet again go at this flesh that is continuously wanting to be understood, consoled, comfortable, have its way, selfish, self-seeking and so prone to self pity. Nope, that is not the way of the cross and not the way of a bride of Christ who has relinquished all control of their life to Jesus.

I got a Rhema while working on this message at Mother Clare’s and it said, “God doesn’t think it too much to give Himself entirely to you, so would you live entirely for him?”

Then I got another Rhema from Papa Pio, “I am suffering and suffering very much, but thanks to our good Jesus I still feel a little strength and when aided by Jesus, what is the creature not capable of doing?”

We really need Jesus’ aid to do anything especially to climb the mountain of holiness which is always first by putting self-love in its proper place, last. Just as the Lord said in the scripture to be least of all and servant to all. When we feel like we are dragging and have nothing left, when aided by Jesus we can still make acts of our will, even when we don’t feel like it. We just can’t give up and walk down the mountain and say I quit because that is what the enemy wants. And that’s what I thought about, many times [laugh]. Padre Pio once said, “To become a saint is difficult—not impossible”. If you don’t know by now that is what the Lord is working out in all of our souls. He wants us all to be saints, souls who have persevered faithfully in the will of God despite the difficulty, circumstance, and opposition that come against us.

One such way to give yourself to Jesus is through the practice of spiritual poverty. I received a reading from St. Therese to lead us into that.

Saint Therese of the Child Jesus constantly practiced poverty without ever complaining. From her beginning in Carmel, when she was only fifteen years old, she was treated without the slightest consideration. Once, said to the cook, “Nobody will eat that, give it to Sister Therese of the Child Jesus who never says no to anything”. So one would see reappear in her plate toward the end of the week, an omelet that had been cooked the previous Sunday (these were the days before refrigerator). A table she shared with another sister who sat next to her some cider contained in a bottle so small that it could hardly have held two glassfuls. She drank nothing, in order not to deprive this neighbor. She could have taken some water from the jug, but she held back in order that no one notice her mortifications and act of charity (in leaving the cider).

Out of a spirit of poverty, she didn’t reclaim what others took from her, saying nothing belonged to her; and the gifts of intelligence, which God had given her in such abundance, she let, in a manner of speaking, be stolen. At recreation, if another repeated something Therese had said as if it was the second person thought or clever phrase, Therese let the honor go to the other without making known what was the true source.

Matthew 5:3 says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

What does it mean to be poor in spirit? It means to be empty of self, empty of gifts, empty of knowledge, empty of attachments, preferences, desires. Simply not owning anything reverting all things back to God—as it should be. When you live like that, the Kingdom of Heaven will reign in you and through you. From St. Therese, we are given great examples of how we can practice spiritual poverty thereby becoming poor in spirit. You noticed St. Therese use the word practice because this is a virtue that must be exercised over and over and over again, and we can do this by small ordinary, everyday acts done in the love of neighbor and for the love of Jesus.

  1. It says she constantly practiced this WITHOUT COMPLAINING. So that is the first practice of spiritual poverty no complaints about your suffering, about trials, about others, about what you prefer or what you don’t like. When you belong to Christ we must kick the habit of complaining vocally and in our hearts. (Help us, Lord). We must see the hand of God in everything that is done to us, taken away or not given to us. If we are poor then we have nothing and when God gives us something we praise him and if he takes it away we praise him because we had nothing in the first place.
  2. She was treated without the slightest consideration. Now that can be hard. But we must not consider ourselves in anything. Moreover, wish to be treated without the slightest consideration. I have shared my struggles with you, the sin of respectability. Many times we want our opinions to be considered, our preferences, our desires, and even our limitations considered. And we get mad when people don’t consider our feeling our opinions and so forth. That is still self-seeking and self-love. But St. Therese practiced self forgetfulness. When we belong to Christ we must allow him to make us so small that in the eyes of others [that] our opinions don’t matter. We are not considered for anything and are okay with that. (Lord, help me–laugh)—not allowing rejection to take root, bitterness, or even resentment because we have forgotten self.
  3. Don’t say no to anything that is asked of you or given to you, (of course, unless it violates your conscience) meaning saying yes to all that is asked of you out of brotherly love. When we belong to Christ the Lord is wanting us to be selfless to the last drop. This was so hard to do for me. When I went back home the first time, Jesus told me to say yes to everything my mom and family asked me to do. I didn’t realize how self-willed, self righteous, and full of self-love I was. What they asked me to do wasn’t even bad it was just that I was so stuck on my preferences—my routine, my religious life—that many times I breached brotherly love by declining gifts, declining food, being frustrated by having to watch the worldly entertainment, etc. The Lord doesn’t like that and many of us are in situations where we have family members, friends or even a spouse who may not be as fully surrendered to the Lord as we, and we tend to tell them what to do or make it known what we don’t like to do because we are trying to serve God, be holy not realizing it so self-righteous and the Lord would prefer yielding to others in brotherly love to win them over. Or simply as St. Therese did, eating what is set before you and in poverty not being picky about what is given to you to eat without complaint. Living in a community you are exercised in that many times. And I fell, guys, many, many times. Lord, please help me to say yes to everything today.
  4. Always take less than you need and as St. Francis would add and don’t steal from the poor. We must always see our neighbors as more impoverished than we are. When we see it that way you will be more prone to sacrifice and give of yourselves for the sake of your neighbor. When you see the last of something you want or desire rather than taking it for yourself leave it for your neighbor. It could be that last soda you really want, the last portion of your favorite cereal, that last cup of coffee, anything really. When you belong to Christ don’t take it although you may it need it. You leave it for your most poor neighbor
  5. She didn’t reclaim what others took from her. It reminds me of the scripture in Luke 6:30 “Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.” How many times do we get resentful when someone borrows something and doesn’t give it back. Or we get protective over our possessions that we don’t want to share or have others even touch it. When you belong to Christ nothing is our own but what he gives us and when something is taken away we see that it was God who permitted it, so we are at peace. You really begin to trust in God’s providence.
  6. She even when as far as not to reclaim any credit for things she did or said, not just material things. How many times do we struggle if we do something and someone else gets the praise or we do something and want praise for it or the need to be affirmed, or feel appreciated deep in our hearts? You see she practiced spiritual poverty in such a way she realized nothing was hers in the first place. If the Lord took away her honor and gave it to another it was his honor in the first place to give to her. So we too must see that in all the Lord gives us, it is his in the first place and when we belong to Christ, and he decides to reclaim it and give it to another have peace that it’s the doing of the Lord rather than resenting that person.

God bless you, family.

Belonging to Christ – Dealing with Contradictions

January 18, 2022

Hello, Brothers, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family. May we all receive the grace to give ourselves entirely to Jesus amidst contradictions.

As we continue the three-part series of Belonging to Christ, may it enrich our desire to give ourselves more fully to Jesus and allow him to do with us as He pleases for his glory and for the purpose of our sanctification, to make us holy—to die to ourselves.

When I was met with my first contradiction walking with the Lord it almost ruined me; I was so undone and so confused. He had told me to move out of my apartment and to live among the poor. I told my Bible Study small group, my family—and I even threw a going away party for this cause. I did a vlog on my channel about it encouraging people to trust the Lord when He gives crazy instructions. I had two weeks until my lease was up, and He told me to wait, He would make it clear where to move. Three days before I had to be out He told me the location and how much to pray for rent. I called the place excited thinking, for sure, they would have me, but they declined my request. I was dumbfounded. I found myself moving back to my mother’s house within two days and facing the humiliation of my family and all those in my small group when what the Lord said didn’t work out. Caring more about what others thought of me; if they would now think I didn’t hear from the Lord. I thought to myself, God doesn’t lie, He doesn’t change his mind what just happened?

Numbers 23:19
God is not human, that he should lie,
 not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?

So what happens when the Lord speaks a word that you confirmed was from him and it is not fulfilled, or the Lord seems to change direction, what then? This has been the cause of the ruin of many people’s faith in God because of our attachments, our lack of total surrender, and our unwillingness to abandon ourselves to the goodness and mercy of God.

The Lord will never contradict himself, but he definitely allows contradictions. All through scriptures you see the Lord’s faithful ones tested in this, somehow or another.

You see Moses tested when the Lord told him to tell Pharaoh to let his people go but at the same time, by His own hand, he hardened Pharaoh’s heart against Moses.

Exodus 9:12
But the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart and he would not listen to Moses and Aaron, just as the LORD had said to Moses.

So the Lord gave Moses instructions, and at the same time, he blocked the fulfillment of the initial instructions. You would think, Lord what are you doing? Why tell me to do something [while] at the same time you’re the source of causing its delay? Has anyone been through that? That makes me think of all the City of God delays and our trips to Ghana. The Lord says to move, we move—and then he causes the delay as well.

Then there is Joseph, who was given a dream of one day being above all his siblings, even his father, as they all would bow down to him. Then after having that dream he was sold into slavery and imprisoned for thirteen years. I bet he didn’t imagine that prison would be a part of his story to bring the dream to pass. Then there was St. Joseph—the Foster Father of Jesus was betrothed to be married to Mary. They both had decided they wanted to have a celibate marriage because they both wanted to give themselves to the Lord, so it was actually agreed [upon] before they were married. This is not in scripture but can be found in Blessed Catherine Emmerich’s book, Complete Visions of Jesus, and four other mystics who were given revelation about the life of Jesus before his public ministry. He knew she was a virgin, noble, and virtuous young woman and then he finds out she is pregnant. In their humility, they both said nothing to each other. That’s a contradiction he had to wrestle with for almost two months. And it was by Blessed Mother’s intercession who pleaded with the Father to please send an angel to tell him because she feared he was going to die. That’s how much he suffered from this great contradiction of the annunciation.

Blessed Mother also suffered a contradiction when she was told by Simeon that a sword too would pierce her own heart. She wasn’t given knowledge of the plans of redemption all at once. She received wisdom through time. So with the knowledge of her knowing Jesus was the Messiah and the savior of the world, the Son of God—you would think, now that He had come into the world, his reign would be glorious. However, she was met with a prophetic word that he would be opposed, and she would suffer as well. That is not at all what you would expect to hear after giving birth to the Son of God, the savior of the world. It was a contradiction she decided to treasure in her heart. (Luke 2:25-35)

Then prophet Jeremiah, whom I can so relate to, was met with constant contradictions when being obedient to the Lord’s instructions. He cried out “You deceived me Lord” (Jeremiah 20:7). He was always simply being obedient to the Lord’s instructions but was met consistently with hatred, scorn, beatings, and imprisonment. So in the eyes of everyone, he seemed like a failure to the point he even wanted to die.

Jeremiah 20:14-18
Cursed be the day I was born!
May the day my mother bore me not be blessed! Cursed be the man who brought my father the news, who made him very glad, saying, “A child is born to you—a son!” May that man be like the towns the Lord overthrew without pity. May he hear wailing in the morning, a battle cry at noon. For he did not kill me in the womb, with my mother as my grave, her womb enlarged forever. Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame?

Jesus was the biggest contradiction of all. He was King but lived like a poor man. He had the greatest glory in all the universe yet was made of no account on earth. He was the Messiah, perfectly Holy, yet ate with prostitutes and sinners. He came to set us free from captivity and sin yet took on our iniquity. And, He was a man acquainted with grief, (Isaiah 53:3). His life too was full of contradictions the Father allowed. Why? Because He too, although being the Son, had to learn Obedience through suffering (Hebrews 5:8).

That is what it all comes down to, the Lord allows contradictions to teach us obedience and abandonment. It’s a real trial which causes us to die to ourselves. It completely destroys any attachments we have and any control we think we have in our lives or even in the words the Lord speaks to us.

One of the most recent trials and contradictions the Lord allowed on his body was the American Presidential elections. Many prophets and Christians were put to the test as the Lord confirmed his word that President Trump would win, then allowed Biden to take office. Some Christians lost their faith in prophetic voices because of it. Some prophets even recanted the Lord’s words and others have been courageous enough to have faith and stick to what the Lord said. Did the Lord lie? Did he change his mind? No, sometimes prophetic words delay, and many other times prophecy is contingent on all the souls involved to correspond with the Lord and his will. And when they don’t the Lord will change plans.

I had really struggled with that and asked the Lord to give me a reference in Scripture where that happened because I felt that it was a cop-out when something the Lord said didn’t come to pass. Because He is God and knows the beginning to the end of everything, why does he need our corporation to ensure a prophetic word comes to pass? Then, Holy Spirit led me to the story of Saul and David. Saul was anointed by Samuel to be the king of Israel. However, Saul was held captive by the fear of men. He lived to serve and obey the people rather than serve and obey God. Because he didn’t corporate with the graces God gave him, the Lord rejected him and gave the anointing and the crown to another, King David.

1 Samuel 15: 24-26,

Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned. I violated the Lord’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them.  25  Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord.” But Samuel said to him, “I will not go back with you. You have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you as king over Israel!

So, sometimes if you’re met with contradictions from a word from the Lord that was given to you, it may very likely be that not everyone cooperated with the will of God, and, in his goodness, he devised another plan to work it out for your good.

There have been servants of God, who have lost hope and even their faith when the Lord allows contradictions—like the pastor who lost his entire family in a car accident and stopped serving the Lord because of it. That has to be so hard, but we can’t allow contradictions to make us turn our backs on the Lord. Or maybe you believed for healing for a family member—you got a word even—and they died. Or you’re waiting on the Lord for a spouse, and you even begin to pray ahead into your marriage and the Lord finally brings you someone and your marriage is a real trial and test of faith. Or you get on the offense in spiritual warfare covering yourself, your family, and loved ones, and everything you pray against happens. Then what? When you belong to Christ you must see his providential hand in everything, even in the contradictions, and know that he is testing you and growing you in the virtue of obedience and abandonment. All of those I mentioned in the scriptures were obedient to the Lord amidst their devastations, trials, and contradictions they were faced with, besides Saul. And I don’t think anyone one of us wants to be rejected by the Lord and lose the grace and have it given to another.

Furthermore, the enemy of your soul will taunt you and whisper all manner of lies to you when the Lord allows a trial of contradiction. He will try to appease our self-seeking nature and cause us to stop climbing the mountain of holiness and turn back because it’s easier and even try to lure you in serving him instead. As I was putting this message together I got a reading from St. Faustina’s Diary of Divine Mercy. And wow! it was so on point as she shared the devil’s whispering temptations that came to her in her moment of deep discouragement which I found myself in last week. Every vile temptation you can think of the devil said to me, just as he spoke to her.

St. Faustina begins,

“Total discouragement came over me, then I heard Satan’s voice, ‘See how contradictory everything is that Jesus gives you? He tells you to found a convent, and then He gives you sickness. He tells you to set about establishing the Feast of Mercy while the whole world does not want such a fest. Why do you pray for this feast? It is so inopportune.’ My soul remained silent and by an act of will, continued to pray without entering conversations with the Spirit of Darkness. Nevertheless, such an extraordinary disgust with life came over me that I had to make a great act of the will to consent to go on living…”

“And again I heard the tempter’s words; ‘Ask for death for yourself tomorrow after Holy Communion God will hear you, for He has heard you so many times before and has given you what that which you asked of Him’…The tempter went on: ‘Why should you bother about souls? You ought to be praying only for yourself. As for sinners, they will be converted without your prayers. I see you’re suffering very much at this moment; I’m going to give you a piece of advice on which your happiness will depend. Never speak about God’s mercy and in particular do not encourage sinners to trust in God’s mercy because they deserve a just punishment. You see, to live as a good nun it is sufficient to live like the others. Why expose yourself to so many difficulties?’ I remained silent and by an act of will, I dwelt in God although a moan escaped my heart. I went immediately to my cell and falling on my knees I renewed my act of submission in all things to the will of God.”

That was the end of the Rhema message from St. Faustina.

I was flabbergasted! These were the exact things the devil was saying to me in my moment of despair last week. After facing contradiction after contradictions he reminded me of how the Lord continues to break me with the City of God community. He taunted me, “The Lord tells you to establish the community but then causes its delay. You can’t trust the Lord’s words, you will always be a failure and anything you do will amount to nothing because He will allow contradictions, so just stop whilst you’re ahead. And stop praying for people and even meeting with the intercessory group for Ghana. There is no point. After all, look, you got sick. Your prayers are fruitless, nothing has happened or will change. Go ahead, just end it all, you will be in Heaven anyway. The Lord is too hard on you, you should just take it easy like the others in the community. Remember just desire to be a normal Christian. That is good enough, right? Why don’t you even come and serve me, you won’t suffer as much.”

Lies, lies, lies!

By the help of Blessed Mother, who obtained for me the grace to preserver through this battle and to renew my act of submission to the will of God, hence you all are hearing this series. When we belong to Christ it is not easy and there is no turning back, even though the enemy of your soul will tempt you to do so. In the darkest moments, admits contradictions, that is when we need to cling to Jesus; trust in his goodness when we cannot see or understand his hand in our lives. That he is good, He is faithful, and to abandon ourselves to him, and to his most holy will realizing He is in the instructions, He is in the delays, He is in the suffering, and He is in the contradictions.

God bless you, family.

Help Me To Trust (song)

January 16, 2022

Hey family, want to share with you the song I’ve been working on after my many hard falls and trials you all walked with me last year and coming into this year, I was really struggling to believe in the Lord promises and during prayer, this song came forth from my heart. May an honest song anyone can sing or listen to when you’re really struggling to believe, but you want to believe. God bless you family!

Help me to trust when I struggle to believe
Cause I’ve been broken, over and over again
Help me to trust, I want to believe

In the midst of pain
In the midst of rain
When I can’t seem to find my way

Lord I believe, but help my unbelief
I need to see your faithfulness
The lies I see, seem more real to me

Help me to trust when I can’t see
Help me to trust when I struggle to believe
Cause I’ve been broken, over and over again
Help me to trust I want to believe

I am weak and you’re my strength God
Move this mountain in front me
Return the joy of my salvation
lead me to hear your heart

Help me to trust when I can’t see
Help me to trust when I struggle to believe
Cause I’ve been broken, over and over again
Help me to trust I want to believe

Leah – A Women Remembered

January 15, 2022

Trafficked People of the Bible & God’s Response
By Susanna Thorn

These Stories are only Biblically Based and should not be read as Biblical themselves. I have only looked deep into the Biblical stories of these people and made connections that logically make sense in my mind to flush out the character and struggles of each of these people. My hope is that you will see yourself or those around you in these stories and the God that shows His love to them will become real to you and become your God.

Dedicated to Jesus for His Glory and to my daughter Gloria that she would know Him Deeper


“Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said….”

Genesis 29: 16-18a – The Bible, NIV

Leah prepared the meal for the men with her mother. Jacob has come from Canaan at behest of his parents. Since he had been here things had been a bit interesting to say the least. Her father Laban had insisted on Leah to be kept out of sight.

“We don’t want to scare him off. He has been a great help to us, a skilled shepherd is hard to come by. He is growing to become a son that I have never had and may be your salvation, Leah.”

Leah understood what her father was implying. She had been taught well by her mother the way to run a household. She could do anything any other women could do, yet she lacked the one thing that would attract a man to her side. Rachel had it all. She had form and face that every man was attracted to her, her younger sister. One glance at Leah from any man changed quickly to disgust or pity. They would then ignore her and give their glances to Rachel. They enjoyed her work and her service as they lounged with her father, yet none of them glanced at her, accept by accident when they called for their drink or bowl to be filled. Each of them longed to have Rachel as their wife, but tradition dictated that Leah, the firstborn, should be married first. Since no one would take her, especially with Rachel for comparison, no man would choose the sacrifice to allow Rachel to go to another man, and so they both stayed single. This seemed to not bother her younger sister that much, until now.

Since Jacob’s appearance the house of Laban has been in an uproar. Yet a silent one so not to allow any disturbance to their most honored guest. The past month Jacob had dived right in helping with the sheep, probably to spend more time with Rachel. His help had increased the strength of the flock this past month. So much so that Laban was desperate to keep Jacob with him, that he might promise anything and everything to do it. Jacob gallant treatment of Rachel the moment they met had touched her, so much that all she could talk to Leah about was Jacob. Rachel the favored one, and Leah would listen as she always did.

Since Rachel was born it was Leah’s responsibility to care for her sister. She had been her protector, comforter, and teacher when mother was too busy. When Rachel got into trouble, the wrath would reign onto Leah’s head. Rachel was the beautiful one, the baby, the one loved. Leah was the tolerated, the unwanted, the burden, and it looked like there was no way to change that.

A women’s life was not secure without a husband and sons to care for her in her old age. Yet there was no one who would touch her, for her weak eyes disturbed everyone who investigated them. She was not sure what disturbed the men, she thought her eyes were lovely, the one thing of beauty that she had. Yet she did find that her eyes had a piercing look.

Living in the tent of her father, who always searched for opportunity to benefit himself, she had learned wisdom, prudence and to be quick. Rachel the baby had learned to follow in their father in temperament, and as the beauty and baby she got away with it. Leah on the other hand had learned to pick up moods quickly, to see the needs of those before they could even voice them, and to provide what was needed before a protest. She was able to play the obedient daughter, if not for her eyes.

Her eyes gave her away every time. Their unexpected beauty would pierce through a man, and those eyes filled with wisdom and knowledge in a single glance would let a man know where he stood. All men that she knew wanted to be in control, to bend women to their will. Women were just property, servants, slaves to their father and if they were fortunate to their husband. If they were blessed, they would give birth to son’s, who would love and care for them in their old age. Her eyes unnerved men, they would pierce and blind with their beauty, not something that a man wanted. Men wanted a beautiful wife that they could mold under their own will, not a plain one with piercing eyes watching everything they did.

Except Jacob.

Jacob was the only man who had treated her with respect and honor. Not as much as Rachel of course, but he still treated her better than any man had treated her before. He had taken the time to talk to her, to even bring some wool for her use. Usually, he would sit and talk awhile while she listened.

“You remind me of my mother. You have her eyes.”

He must love his mother very much. The respect he showed her out of the love of his mother was kind and touched her heart. He spoke with longing when he talked to her about Rebecca. They must have been close.

Oh, to know what it would be like to share that relationship with a son! To hold him in her arms, to nurture him into a man. A son would love her unconditionally. Yet no son would come without a husband, and Jacob was interested in Rachel. Still Leah hoped. Maybe Jacob’s talks to her were more than they seemed. Maybe he would see her worth that no man had seen before. If he chose her, she would use all her skills to benefit his household. She would raise up sons that he would be proud of. She reminded him of his mother, maybe that would be enough.

And yet one look at Rachel would sometimes put her into despair. What was knowledge in place of beauty? What was wisdom in place of strength? Her father was right, Jacob was her only hope.

“If only he would choose me” Leah thought” If only.”

Have you ever been the odd one out? Have you ever been the unwanted one? The unfavoured one? Has one of your siblings outshone you as you grew up? Did one of your friends always get the guy you desired? Have those around you have gotten then best and you the dregs? Have you been the rejected one? The unloved one?

If so, Leah understands.

Leah was sold to Jacob by her father Laben for the seven years Jacob worked for Laben for the hand of Rachel. Jacob did not know he had married Leah until morning. Jacob then had to work seven more years for Laben so he could take Rachel to wife. It says that Jacob loved Rachel more than he loved Leah. The deception on their wedding night would not have made Jacob fond of Leah.

We do not know truly what Leah was thinking. As a woman whatever her father chose was law. We do not know if she was tricked into thinking that Jacob wanted her, or that she saw that this was the only way that she would be married. All we know is that her father had to deceive Jacob into marrying her, and that Jacob did not love her after that. What was God’s response to all of this? He remembered Leah. He opened her womb, and she gave birth to four sons. For the first three (Ruben, Simeon, and Levi) she rejoiced and hoped that her husband would show love to her after this, for she had born him three sons.

Yet at the birth of the fourth Judah all she said was “This time I will praise the Lord.” No longer does she look to her husband for love that she will never have. Instead, she has found that love in the Lord God Himself and He is her Rock, who has given her four sons. Now her son Ruben found mandrakes that in that day were believed helped with fertility, even that a barren woman could become pregnant with them. Rachel asked for some from Leah and Leah responded that Rachel had taken her husband but now she would take Ruben’s mandrakes? Rachel then proposed a trade that she would have the mandrakes and Leah would have her turn with Jacob, which produced Issachar in Leah’s womb. She then also gave birth to Zebulun and Dinah a daughter. Her final words for Zebulun are “God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him a six son.” So, through God’s remembrance Leah was taken from a place of being unloved to a place of honor. In her humbleness the Lord lifted her up. Rachel though trusted in the mandrakes, not the Lord God. It was much later after Leah had given birth to Dinah that Rachel cried out to the Lord God Almighty, and it was then that she received Joseph. Up to this point Rachel blamed her husband, looked to the mandrakes to make her fertile. Mandrakes that have a history of being used for witchcraft. It was only after Leah had given birth seven times, with six sons and a daughter that Rachel humbled herself before the Lord. Leah though was blessed generously by the Lord because of her humbleness.

But the Lord has greater plans to honor Leah. For though it was Rachel who bore Joseph who saved the whole family from starvation by bringing them to Egypt, it was Leah who had given birth to most of Israel. Because of Rachel’s pride she was unable to see the man Joseph would become, crying out for another son while he first nursed. In doing so she lost her life in giving birth to Joseph’s brother Benjamin. It was Leah who was buried with Jacob in the family grave where Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, and Rebecca had been lain, not Rachel. It was Leah who gave birth to Levi, who line became the priests who served in the presence of the Lord in the temple. It was Leah who gave birth to Judah, who descendants would be the Kings of Israel, who’s line would come the King of Kings Jesus.

Though Leah was unwanted, unloved, and unappreciated she came to know the God of Israel and He became her God. It was Him that she cried out to, and it was He who heard her, and it was He who lifted her up in her humbleness. When everyone forgot Leah, God remembered her, and placed her in a place of honor for generations to come.

So, when you are the one not picked. The unloved one, the tolerated one, the used and abused one, know that God loves you. He sees you and that He remembers you. He knows every hair on your head and that He has good plans for you. Despite all that you have gone through and all that you continue to go through He loves you, He cares about you, and He has chosen you for great things. No matter what the people in your life say or do about you, you are remembered by God. By remembering Him and humble yourself to Him in your life, He will lift you up to a place of honor as He did with Leah. He will place a table before you in front of your enemies, and they will not be able to touch it. It will be for you and for you alone. No matter what someone says about you or treats you, it is Jesus who will have the last say. Therefore, His opinion of you is all that matters, and His opinion is that you are precious and honored in His sight.

To read the story of Leah for yourself you can find it in Genesis 29-35, 46 and 49 of the Bible

Plead for Mercy For the World With My Son

January 14, 2022

The past couple of days I have realized Father God was very present. He kept giving me readings and Rhemas about his Fatherly love. The majority of the songs played in worship were about the Father again. After my fall Papa God has been so sweet to woo me back home like the prodigal child. I couldn’t help but feel a tug on my heart. So, after receiving the Lord I just knew Papa God wanted to speak.

Good morning Father wants on your heart? You have been playing so many songs of your Fatherly love and you running after me, after your little ones.

Papa God began,

“My beloved one, I will always run after you. I always run after all my wayward ones for I am the good shepherd that leaves the 99 to find that one. It’s not always souls who are lost in this world’s darkness, but many times I have to run after My chosen ones who get stuck in the thicket, in bristly bushes, and on wired fences.” (He said that smiling because I was stuck, guys, really stuck). “Like a tender shepherd, I gently handle you and lose the bonds that hold you down so that you may run freely under the safety of My protection. Come with me.”

I walked with Papa God, and we entered the garden. From a long way, I could see Jesus and realized we were in the garden of Gethsemane. He was sweating profusely, praying, looking up, begging the Father to take this cup from Him. It looked like the scene from the Passion of Christ. He was in His passion all over again, although He couldn’t see us.

I looked at Papa and He looked so sad and distressed himself. Then He turned His back and told me to come and leave Jesus.

Papa God continued,

“My Son is under tremendous distress and travail right now for the state of the world. I hear His cries and pleas for mercy, but My justice has to be satisfied.

“Mankind has been deceived to think things will go on, business as usual. So many are blind, so many have no thought of their eternity. So many are perishing and will perish. My mercy and justice go hand in hand, although so many don’t understand, but see Me as a tyrant, a harsh God, and a cruel Father. How that hurts Me, Beloved one, it hurts Me so deeply.”

Papa God started crying and I began crying. To see God cry because He is so misunderstood, — words can’t describe how my heartfelt to see Him that way. I became like a little child comforting their parent, as I came close to him and said, “Papa come, let me wipe your tears.” I wiped the tears from his face, “I am so sorry for all the pain I put you through—all the pain the world puts you through, please forgive us Papa.” I then hugged him.

“Oh, My child every hug, every comforting word, every song of praise brings much consolation to My aching heart. Only if you knew that you, My little creature could bring Me so much joy.

“The time is short, My beloved little one, some things can be mitigated by the prayers of the faithful, but in My justice, I show great mercy for I always take into account human weakness. For man is but dust and if I didn’t sustain mankind with My love all would return back to dust. In the most horrific situations and circumstances, I am in the midst, working all things out for good. You see, I hear the cries of the little ones, day and night—those who are tortured, abused, those who fight to live with barely anything to eat day and night and night and day, will I not show them mercy?

“I hear the cries of the suffering who no longer want to live and cannot bear their crosses anymore. Those being persecuted—will I not show justice? There is so much thought that goes behind every action I allow upon the earth. I take into consideration each soul—the rebellious ones, and those who suffer at their hands. They are all victims to Me — victims of the fallen world, victims of generational sin, victims of their own wayward actions, victims of the enemy of their soul who continues to twist and distort the beautiful creatures I created in My image. All men are My children, but so many reject Me; My fatherly love, My mercy, and are left to their own road of destruction, a road I didn’t choose for them.

“Pray the Divine Mercy Novena and plead for mercy for the world with My Son, (sigh) My hand cannot be held back any longer, but with your tears and your intercession some things will be delayed and even minimized. And more importantly, the Chaplet saves an innumerable amount of souls. That is what I look for, souls entering into My kingdom, coming home to Me—not being saved from death, but being liberated from an enteral lifetime in hell. Pray, my little one, pray that souls would trust in My unfathomable Divine Mercy. For in My love is justice and mercy itself.”

That was the end of Papa God’s message.

If you want to join us for the Divine Mercy Novena, as a community, we started today and will have a link to novena in the description. Let’s comfort Papa and come alongside Jesus to plead for mercy for the whole world.

God bless you, family, until the next message