Hello brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers Family. May you all be blessed
The Lord has called me to teach and reveal the sins of my heart that he has exposed in this season of lent. Wheew there have been a few test that he has allowed and I failed miserably and he wants me to share that with you guys so you may also recognize the same attitudes in your own heart and repent from it.
As I have said in many of my previous messages there are so many things we do, say and think that are an offense to the Lord however if no one brings these actions to light we won’t know that is an offense and we won’t repent of them. This scripture keeps coming to my mind
How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?
It’s the same with repentance how can anyone repent, if they don’t know what that is, and how will they know what to repent of if no one preaches to them about it. We live in a generation where true sincere repentance is pretty foreign to us. We are told Jesus has forgiven all of our sins on the cross and all you have to do is ask him into your heart and you will be completely forgiven and saved. So you have many christians who have done just that. They have asked Jesus into their hearts and continue to live their old lives and in their old ways and nothing has really changed.
We feel if we haven’t broken any of the major “10 commandments” then we are good Christians not realizing the Lord sees much deeper and in the gospels gave us a new law that deals with the matters of the heart. “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Matthew 5:21
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:27-28
Through these scriptures you can see that Jesus always calls us higher. Even the religious leaders of the day could not understand that the law was now to be written on our heart and the heart of the law is love. So anytime that we respond, react, or do any action that is not love towards our neighbor it is an offense before God. We are not judged by our actions, but by the motive of love in which we do them.
Repentance is to show sincere regret or remorse for our offense towards God by turning from those actions, attitudes and thoughts that displease him.
Respectability is the state or quality of being accepted as valid or important, being socially acceptable
I have shared with you guys, Rick Joyner Book Final Quest. He is a prophet and was given a vision of the assignments against the Body of Christ in the last days. In the Evil Army he says,”I saw a demonic army so large that it stretched as far as I could see. It was separated into divisions, with each carrying a different banner. The foremost and most powerful divisions were Pride, Self righteousness, Respectability, Selfish Ambition, and Unrighteous Judgment, but the largest of all was Jealousy. The leader of this vast army was the Accuser of the Brethren himself”
This season of lent I fell for their assignments of respectability and jealousy. Which will be in my next message. Guys, I am truly a hot mess.
The test came when my roommate and I were asked to go to the Lord for discernment concerning each soul here in the community. Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel were getting a nudge from the Lord that some members were struggling with being fully committed here and were contemplating asking some of the members to leave. I went to the Lord and told them what I got as did my roommate. I was told we would have a meeting to discuss some changes the following day. The day before this I got a rhema about “rejection” and it said if was to be disregarded in a place don’t worry and keep minding your business. Something to that effect I am paraphrasing. At first I thought hmm I don’t feel rejected and began to wonder if the Lord was going to send me somewhere that I would experience that. I had no idea it would come the following days.
The following morning I waited for our meeting and during my prayer time the Lord gave me readings about suffering patiently and conforming to his will. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as my roommate was called to Mother Clare house, but I wasn’t. I waited, waited and waited as the devils began to just pounce on me that my opinion wasn’t important, that they left me out on purpose, that they didn’t honor what I had to say, that my roommate was more favored than I was. Oh it was bad as I was struggling to fight these accusations thinking the best. She didn’t get home until very late and I couldn’t sleep because my stomach was in knots. I even had a dream where I asked her if they had the meeting without me and she said yes…the devils where just having a field day with me.
To make matters worse when I woke up that morning a phone call came to my roommate that they were asking Ruth to leave the mountain and stay down in Taos for a bit and she was leaving that morning. Ruth is the young lady I have been spiritually forming and preparing to go to Ghana with me. I thought to myself we only have a few months until we leave, I would think she needs to be even closer to me and no one asked me what I thought about this and now she is leaving.
I felt disregarded and so hurt by that. I just went up to the mountain to pray and cry it out before the Lord as the sting of rejection hit my heart and many thoughts of accusations which the enemy was using to divide us. I felt resentment rise in my chest against those who where my spiritual covering and all those who were involved.
The Lord in his mercy allowed me to wallow in my self pity and tears and comforted me through the songs He picked in worship. Then he spoke the truth to me as he reminded me that He doesn’t have to ask my opinion on any thing but he does at times only because he loves me and desires my friendship but I should humble myself because the truth is I was struggling with respectability. You see the ladies and I have been reading St. Therese Spiritual Doctrine book as the Lord is teaching us the little way to holiness. Dying to our self and self love desiring to be forgotten, to be of no account, a nothing, a nobody and he tested me on that and I failed.
I had prayed to God to for this, that I would embrace my nothingness and not seek to be sought after or looked up too and when he allowed this trial the real issues of my heart arose. The truth is that I still desired to be respected, to be honored and my opinion valued. For so long I had always carried favor with my spiritual covering here in the community and the one time they don’t ask my opinion I immeadiately reacted with anger and resentment rather than humility. They too don’t need to ask my opinion with anything the Lord tells them to do
I was so humbled when the Lord revealed the state of my heart and the truth in that situation rather than leaning on my feelings and what the enemy was presenting. In this generation now more than ever many of us fall into the sin of respectability especially with social media and even in ministry. Everyone is looking to have that “now “ word, to gain likes, popularity, and respect among men. Even if you’re not in the limelight it could be at your work place, or in your family, your circle of friends, or even in your marriage. When someone disregards what you say, no one cares for your opinion, or what you think doesn’t matter. When you are made of no account or consideration, how do you respond? How do you react? Do you walk away feeding into the enemies lies feeling rejected, resentful, or even angry or do you humbly submit to Gods providence seeing that it is him using others to humble you in that way? Because true humility has no preference, no opinion, no desire, and no expectation it’s submits to everything without defending, contending, or sulking. So of course the Lord had me confess my sins to Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel and my roommate as I apologized to them concerning the attitude of my heart towards them.
Mother Clare graciously apologized as she felt badly about not asking me about their decision because she knew that was a soul I was working with however I let her know that it was all the Lords doing and I failed this test because I wanted respect rather than to accept my debasement. That evening during adoration I got a rhema and the Lord said, paraphrasing “I came from heaven and lowered myself, but you lift yourself up”. Oh, how that cut my heart as stream of tears flowed down my cheeks as I cried asked the Lord to forgive me repenting of this sin and the damage it caused others. Do you see how divisive this sin is, it causes division by having you accuse others in your heart, resenting others, and breaks the bonds of brotherly love and unity among groups, friends and people.
Jesus do you have anything to add?
“You have said it all well my little one. Respectability is one of the foremost assignments the enemy will use to cause division in my body because it feeds off of my peoples pride. That is why there is so much posturing, pompous and show in my church because man are continuously looking for honor and respect by seeking an audience with man rather than seeking an audience with Me, which will always prove a snare for any soul. Did I not tell the Pharisees not to seek the place of honor or to make their deeds known among man, but only in secret to the Father?
Well I desire the same for my brides to truly live and love a hidden life just like My Mother. She was full of grace, full of wisdom, full of power and full of glory, but she kept it all hidden under the guise of humility always pondering things in her heart, not quick to speak at all, but very recollective and contemplative of Me. Her mind was always fixed on how best to please Me, and on the will of the Father. In her great humility she never once defended herself when many murmured and slandered her in her pregnancy. She never said, even a word to her own husband to defend or explain herself, but she knew If this was the will of God, in time Joseph would know. She prayed for him day and night to the Father, to give him wisdom as to what was going on. So many can take note from my Mother on knowing when to speak and when not to speak. She always turned any attention away from herself and unto me or others. She cared not to be sought after or seen as anything than what she was, My mother. Yet she was the Queen of Heaven, the Mother of God, Wisdom incarnate, and Holder of the Powers of the Universe, but yet thought of herself as nothing.
My beloved brides don’t seek to be respected by men, by your peers, by your loved ones, and even by your spouses. Seek only to become love and dead to yourself in all things and living only to do the will of God. When you began to see me in everything and in everyone you will began to live in greater peace. You will no longer take rejection so personally, but see my hand in all things saying “ it is the will of God” and peacefully go on with your business. You have already been accepted by Me beloved ones. If you feel unheard, I am always there waiting to hear you speak. If you feel not sought after, I am always there seeking your time, your love and your presence to be with you. If you feel disrespected although God, I respect what you have to say, how you’re feeling and your desires if you would, but only come to me and stay with me and no longer run after men. Humble yourself my beloved brides under my mighty hand and if I do raise you up know that it is to draw all men to myself and not to you. Repent now for this sin attitude in your heart and you will be forgiven.”
That was the end of Jesus message
I just want to end with this scripture sums it up so well:
When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable: 8 “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. 9 If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. 10 But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests. 11 For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”