test – Heartdwellers Africa

The Crucified Jesus Inspires Us “console him’

March 6, 2021 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

Hello Family,

I know many are in a valley of confusion and uncertainty in our nation, but we must remember God sits on the throne and he is in control. As we wait and are so consumed in ourselves, what we’re feeling, what is going on around us and what is being said we often forget that Jesus is hurting.

Yes, although God, He is fully man and our beloved spouse is hurting guys. He desperately needs to be loved and consoled in this hour. He has called all of us to carry many heavy crosses of affliction not only to sanctify us but for the salvation of souls, for our President Trump and for the entire world. We are at the brink of so many things. So many lives that will be lost. So many innocent and poor souls that will be affected and harmed. As it is written Matthew 24:6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.

Jesus tells us that these things must happen before the end comes upon us. We forget sometimes that He is also a Father who birthed each soul from his heart, and He is a lover who has called each soul to be his bride and He is a friend who died for love and created us for love. Yet, is left unwanted, rejected, disdained, scorned and even hated by the very souls he created. His own children who will be lost forever in the abyss of the fires of hell for all eternity. HIs heart is breaking guys, so broken by what must happen and His precious ones who will be lost. There is place in his heart that can never be repaired because it was created uniquely for a soul who chose too no longer be there.

Jesus is suffering, yes, He too suffers on the waves of agony and looks desperately for his bride to console him. We often run to Jesus to be consoled, but because Love makes itself vulnerable who will be there when He needs consoling? When He needs encouragement? When He needs love and when He needs to be embraced and told “I love you Jesus, I am here for you Lord, I am here.” Who will it be? I pray it’s you my fellow brides. Run to your Jesus and there hold his bleeding head in your arms. Take the crown that He still wears for the scorn and contempt He faces daily and wipe the blood from his brow for the sins many commit against the Holy Spirit.

Go to the cross and stay at his feet looking up at a crucified Christ all bloody and beaten for your sins and the sins of the world who still thirst for love, your love. Then climb on the cross with him as you lay right hand on top of his and place your left hand on top of his nail pierce hands and rest your head on his heart that beats rapidly and burst out of brokenness to provide mercy for the whole world. Are you suffering gravely now? Unite every sacrifice, every trial, every tear, every prayer, every frustration, every confusion, every delay, every inconvenience and pain you’re going thru to the cross. He needs it and He needs you.

This morning in prayer I got the reading to “Console Jesus”. I immediately saw myself sitting with Jesus on a rock on top of a high mountain. He was wearing a white robe and white prayer shawl over his head. He was looking off in the distance with so much on his mind and I knew his heart was heavy. We didn’t have to speak to each other because I knew, I knew as I rested my head on his shoulder then slipped my right hand into his and clasped his hand. Telling him “I am here Lord, I am here”. Then when I looked down at his arms, I realized it had turned bloody and all wounded as I was now sitting with the wounded Christ. He now had the crown on and was completely covered in blood as he continued to look on in the distance and I looked at him in horror at his degenerate state. I clung to his arm even firmer telling him I wouldn’t let go that I am here, to stay and share in his suffering. I then realized are arm was becoming one. As my body began to enter into his.

Then I was now placed at the foot of the cross as I looked up to my crucified spouse. So bloody, beaten and unrecognizable gasping for air to breath. I cried thinking what can I do, as I held on to the bottom of the cross touching his feet saying, Jesus I am here, I am here. I knew in my heart that he wanted me to climb up and be with him on the cross. So, I did, as I climbed up in my white wedding gown and laid myself on top of him and rested my head on his chest and I could hear heart beating so fast as his bloody bruised chest was going up and down. Up and down as his breath got raspier because blood was filling up his lungs. I thought to myself how I could continue to complain about my afflictions. Complain about my trials that now seemed so trivial compared with his. How could I complain with the splinters from the cross He has given me? When He did this for love of me and still suffers now for the world. I then embraced him even on the cross as if to also now embrace the crosses He has given me and will give me for love of him and love of souls.

When I came out of this, tears streamed down my cheeks as I apologized to him for my unfaithfulness the past couple of days and how I have been self-absorbed in my own sorrow, but never attending to his. Then I got a reading from Imitation of Mary and Blessed Mother was speaking to me about how the cross of Jesus should inspire us to persevere in our own trials. I felt strongly she wanted me to share this with all the Lords brides because we are all going through it and she wants us to fix our eyes on the cross and console Jesus as well. He is hurting even as we suffer. He is suffering with us and for us.

Blessed Mother began,

“My beloved children, I kept before my eyes a cogent model: Jesus crucified. He spoke only words of peace; He suffered with perfect resignation to His Father’s will; He asked that His executioners might be pardoned through the merits of His sacrifice. I watched Him carefully; I entered into His heart and tried to make all His sentiments my own. As I saw Him give His life so generously for men amid the most fearful suffering. I learned to make the generous sacrifice of what was dearest to me in all the world: Jesus Himself.

My children, you find at the foot of the cross as I did, comfort in bitter suffering, strength when you are beaten down, and courageous resignation in sacrifices God ask of you. When you are afflicted, do not go looking to men for comfort; their compassion is barren and soon wearies. After giving you their sympathy, they finally become bored by the narrative of your sufferings and, in the end, by your very presence.

Then you will be left to yourself and your thoughts, and you will find the burden of grief ever heavier to carry. The effort you will make to pull out the arrow that wounds you will often serve only to push it deeper into your flesh.

In the hour of battle, my children, arm yourself with the image of Jesus on His cross. Let the crucifix be your first source of help on the days of darkness and misfortune. However, slack your courage may be, you will find strength there. However strong the bitter taste in your heart, you will find consolation there. Do you suffer because of what men do to you? Behold on the cross the most outraged of fathers, the most scorned of masters, the most abandoned of friends, the most persecuted of just men. Do you suffer from hell’s attack? Contemplate Jesus on the cross as He is buffeted by hell’s wrath. Will you dare complain that heaven treats you too severely when you see the sternest of the Heavenly Father toward His beloved Son? To punish you for your sins God sends you some temporal trials; but what are these when compared to what Jesus suffered in order to rescue you from eternal punishment? As you gaze at your crucifix, say; “I was redeemed by the extreme suffering of God. It is only right that the redeemed soul should attain some likeness to is redeemer through suffering.

My children, if you cannot have the consolation of resembling Jesus in virtue, at least have the consolation (your crucifix will say to you) of resembling Him somewhat in suffering. Have recourse to Him in every evil, anguish, and temptation.

Kiss your crucifix affectionally, bathe it in your tears, slap it lovingly to your breast. Imagine that you are on Calvary and are allowed to embrace the feet of your God who is suffering and dying for you. Tell Him of you’re afflictions, unite them to His, and ask Him to help you find them easier to bear. Ask this merciful Savior to let you hear from His cross some strengthening words that will help you endure your anguish of soul. Tell Him you will not let Him go until He has restored your peace and tranquility and strengthened you with His grace. If you are faithful to this holy exercise, your tears will be dried up, you will have peace again, courage will replace weakness, the cross will no longer be so heavy for you and bitterness will be changed into joy.

If you still have much to suffer, try to stir up in yourself the patience, resignation and love which made the Apostle say; “I rejoice when I endure weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and distress for the sake of Christ (2 Corinthians 12:10)”

That was the end of Blessed Mother message to us.

So, my fellow brides will you console your Jesus tonight?

Mercy Chino- “Oh Jesus”

Thank You For The Fire

December 9, 2019December 9, 2019 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

Fire purifies

Fire refines

Fire purifies

Fire burns

Fire is hot

Fire gives off light

Fire is able to ignite everything it touches.

Fire stands out

Jesus will always be with you in the Fire

Daniel 3:25
He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of Man”

I was in adoration before the Lord a couple of days ago in worship, when he played the song “ Thank you for the Fire” by Ginny Owens and the song struck my heart so deeply. My walk with the Lord has been full of many trials however these past few months where the most fieriest trials yet however, as I found myself before him in such peace and full of hope I can actually say with my whole heart “ Thank you Lord, for the Fire”.

As believers we repeat this common phrase often in prayer, conversations, in our worship music “ Lord set me on fire”, “Lord burn in me”, “Lord make me a living sacrafice”…..urm do we really know what that means? lol That is one of the most dangerious prayers and phrases to cry out to the Lord because he will do just that. To be set on fire for the Lord is to go through the fire to be purified, refined, crushed, pressed until all that remains is him burning within you. Many want the fire of God but, are not willing to burn in suffering and trials to obtain that purity and refinement that he uses for our good for his glory. I too cried out to the Lord so many times in worship and in prayer that I wanted to be set on fire for him, that he should burn everything in me that is not of him, that I wanted to be a living sacrafice a sweet aroma to him and he is doing just that so Lord I thank you.

Jesus said if you wish to follow me you must deny yourself pick up your cross and follow me”. The Lord has created designer crosses for each of us which come with designer fires as well or fireary trials. The crosses in our lives he speaks about are any pain, inconvenice, test, or trials from the greatest to the ones we think so insignificant are crosses we get to carry for the Lord for salvation of souls. A simon’s cross, we will all suffer in this world but when you unite your sufferig to Jesus offering all that he is permitting to him then you are denying your (self-love) carrying your cross and following Jesus. There you will indeed find your faith and the greatest intimacy with Jesus. Some of these cross come in a form of fieary trials a death of a loved one, sickness, betrayl, being slandred with defimation of character, false accusations, demonic attack or oppression, troubled or sick child or family memember, infidelity, sudden loss of income/job, persecution, false imprisonment, injustice, sexual or emotional abuse just to name a very few. These are trials the Lord allows in many of his childrens lives to refine them to purity as they also grow in faith and much virtue.

WHEN YOU TRUST God In the fire you will find HEAT which allows all foriegn fragments and particles to rise to the surface of your heart to be cleaned. You will find what it is you really belive by your reaction and response as the Lord begans to create a Pure heart within you that responds like Christ “Father nevertheless not my will be done yours be done”. In the fire you will find THE MOUTH OF YOUR ENEMIES CLOSED. Just as Daniel found the lions mouths shut you will see the Lords hands of deliverance as you continue to trust him even in the midst of heat all around you. In the fire you will find supernatural PEACE that passes all understanding that will keep your heart and eyes fixed on him alone. There will always be FOUR PEOPLE IN THE FIRE…. You, Father, JESUS and Holy Spirit!! Just as he was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego he too will be your sole companion in the fire the one to carry you through, protect you and deliver you. In the fire you will have great intimacy with Jesus because he is nearest to those with a brokenheart because when you suffer he suffers too. In the fire you will find THAT HE PLACED WITNESSES TO WATCH YOUR TRIAL UNFOLD TO TESTIFY OF HIS GLORY! Just as he did with Daniel even his enemies were astonished at God’s saving power and were looking for them to be burned by the fire and just as Job’s friends who came rather not to console him but, to admonish him in his trial. However, the Lord used them to witness his deliverance and restoration power in Job’s life.

Daniel 3:26-28

²⁶Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, ²⁷and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

²⁸Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.

So don’t you see the Fireary trial you are going through right now is purifying your heart to be conformed to the image of Christ. It is testing your faith so that you will have unmovable confidence in the Lord. It is growing your character so that may be able to obtain the fullness of grace he has for you. It is teaching you patience so you may be fully persuaded in the Lords faithfulness. It is growing you in brothlery love and teaching you not to be moved by the opnions of men. It is strenghting your trust in the Lord so that you will rely soley on him. It is growing you in virtue and sanctifying you so that you may be blamless and spotless on that day lacking nothing. So my friends began to thank the Lord for the Fire, thank him for his immense mercy and grace towards you. Thank him for his faithfulness and amazing love he has bestowed on you to draw you so close to him in this way. Thank him for his goodness, for the amazing testimony he has already written for you that will indeed be for your good and His glory as many souls will be won upon hearing your story .

Thank him for the Fire, for the greater the Fire, the greater the refinement, the greater the faith, the greater the intimacy, the greater the testimony and the greater the LIGHT that will blaze for him for all the world to see!!

Jesus I thank you for the FIRE!!!

-From Jesus with Love

NOTHING Will Stop Me From Doing The Will Of God

October 28, 2019October 28, 2019 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

SNEER a contemptuous or mocking smile, remark, or tone.

PERSECUTION: hostility and ill-treatment, especially because of race or political or religious beliefs

THREATS: a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done.

SUFFERING: The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship

HUNGER:a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to eat.

COLD: of or at a low or relatively low temperature, especially when compared with the human body.

FLATTERY: excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one’s own interests.

ENTREATY: an earnest or humble request.

FRIENDSHIPS: a relationship between friends.

I received this rhema from the Lord months ago and now how I know so well why he gave it to me. In these past few months I have experienced all the above with such intensity to detour and derail me from what the will of God is for my life but by his grace Nothing has stopped me. This walk with Jesus has been a lonely, narrow and many times painful road. Yet, every time I have been met with resistance the Lord continues to give me the grace to not only preserver, endure but to say “yes’ to him. He did say …

Matthew 7:14
How NARROW is the gate and DIFFICULT the road that leads to life, and few find it.

Oh how we can forget that so easily in a generation and culture where especially in the western world following Jesus doesn’t seem to cost much because the Gospel has become comfortable, self-seeking, world and people pleasing, prosperity driven Gospel. Which is so far removed from what Jesus said Luke 14:25-27 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. What we have been really taught is not to follow Christ but, to follow our denominational traditions, fundamentalist beliefs, and even follow after popular ministers. However, Jesus made it very clear to count the cost to be his disciple you must not love family, even your own life to follow me. I would say that is the biggest attachment and impediment to anyone who wants to live a religious life for the Lord. The apostles all had professions, some had wives and children but, immeaditly they heard the voice of the Messiah, Jesus Christ calling them. They stopped and left immeaditly to follow him. I can imagine the suffering they went thru and endured for the sake of loving the Lord more than they loved their lives.

The Lord has a known will which is given through is word. Instructions for any believer to live their lives according to his standard and commandments. Furthermore, the Lord has a “unique” will for every soul upon this earth. Its is our job through pursing intimacy with Jesus that he reveals or better yet leads us into his perfect will for our lives. My Journey to becoming a Franciscan sister has been full of opposition and even since answering the call to leave my family, friends, church and follow Jesus to New Mexico (His Will). I had faced sneers from loved ones the day before I was to leave for New Mexico they had an intervention at my going away gathering. Where they invited a pastor without my knowing as they prayed over me for deliverance because they felt I was deiceved I still continued to follow (His Will). I have faced much persecution when I began to share my beliefs on social media concerning the communion of saints and our wonderful Blessed Mother. As many people criticized me on all fronts both publicy and privately I still continued to follow (His Will). I faced a warning from my church by posting the Rosary Prayer and prophetic messages from Jesus to warn his brides to pray for our President because it didn’t fit with the beliefs of the Church so was given an ultimatum to remove my post or step down form leadership. I still continued to follow (His Will) and stepped down. I was faced with entreaties from my loved ones to please honor my mothers wishes, my family name and come back home because this wasn’t what they had planned for MY life…I still continued to follow (His Will). When I finally arrived in New Mexico and found myself facing very cold nights on the mountain, sleeping in a tent, and having to a Lords supper at night in the cold. I could’ve, just went to bed early or even called it quits because of the the weather and living conditions but…I still continues to follow (His Will). I faced many demonic attacks in dreams, sleep paralysis, demonic oppression…I still continue to follow (His Will). I have faced much suffering and I know I will continue too in this walk with the Lord as he is giving me the grace to count it all joy!

I feel the most painful and sure way the enemy will use to detour many from the Lords will is FRIENDSHIPS through men’s opinion and the fear of men. Jobs friends came in the guise to console him when he lost everything but rather all turned too criticize him harshly instead in his darkest moment. Even the Lord was tempted by Satan through his closest friends and disciple, Peter to stop him from carrying The Cross, that would bring redemption to all mankind. Matthew 16: 22-23 Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Far be it from You, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me. For you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Jesus was abandoned and betrayed by the closest ones to him when he needed them the most…following the will of His Father. So how then can we think we will be greater than the master? I too lost all my friends and relationships. The closest ones too me have indeed criticized my walk, many have said the same things Peter said as I made my decision to pick up MY cross and follow the Lord to New Mexico “Nana, Far be it that you are hearing from Jesus, Far be it to dishonor your Parents, Far be it that you should move to New Mexico and leave everything behind, Far be it that Jesus wants us to suffer, Far be it that you are called to a life of Poverty, Far be it to be to pray to the saints or Blessed Mother, Far be it that you should follow Jesus in this way …but, they too were not mindful of the ways of God. You see, I must remember that its not them. Many have pure intentions and motives but, it is indeed Satan working through all to stop me…to stop you from doing the will of God. You must not be attached to anyone or anything to follow Jesus, not moved by mans options or even the hatred of hell. For truly when something is the will of God all Hell will come against it…literally.

My brethren it will COST YOU EVERYTHING to follow Jesus and the call of God upon your life. If you have no resistance or oppression then you might want to discern again if your going in the right direction. We are called to follow that same thorny, painful road Jesus took to calvary, yes he finished it on the cross but, he calls us to now pick up our cross and follow him down that same narrow road too die to ourselves that He may live. Which is filled with much tribulation but, so much more consolation, freedom, joy, peace that passes understanding, contentment and deep intimacy you couldn’t imagine!! I wouldn’t trade my cross nor do I regret anything the Lord has allowed in my walk. For it has strengthen me, humbled me, grown me, strecthed me, and drawn me into such a deep intimacy place with Jesus. For the greater the suffering, the greater the intimacy. So my friend, what is stopping you from saying “yes” to Jesus from doing the will of God? Set your face like flint, put your hand to the plough and don’t look back. Trust him he is so Freaking FAITHFUL!!

Luke 5:10-11
Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men. ”Leave everything and follow me”

-From Jesus With Love

Gave Up My Life To Jesus

October 22, 2019 From Jesus With Love2 Comments

It is only the Lord who could’ve done this and continues to write this amazing story as I am no longer a bystander but I stand back in awe as His story through me continues to unfold before my eyes. As he led me to leave the world and follow him to NM. He has given me the desire of my heart. HIMSELF!! To officially become his Bride in a deeper walk of faith and commitment as I took my relgious vows and professed my vocation as a Franciscan Sister, Third Order. ( I will do a video about that later on what that entails) I am so humbled to share this journey and wedding ceremony with you all. In worship 2 days ago the Lord played a song from Lecrea ” Tell the World” and the lyrics say ” Ima tell the world ,tell the world I am brand new” So I am! lol A. LOL As Fransician sister my life will be living out the gospel, in intimacy with Jesus and holy life with him. As I have taken life vows of poverty, obedience, chasity (faithfulness to God), substantial prayer, substantial solitude. I pray this will be an invitation for many as I know there will be many more who will come after me. For this narrow road is available to anyone desiring to walk in holiness, truly die to themselves, completely to their past, their flesh and be completely crucified with Christ. To become a new creation in Christ and that is what I have become. The former things have passed away and behold the new has come. No longer Nana but now Mother Mary Elisha given to me by the Lord (mother of souls.) I am so humbled and eternally grateful to the Lord and his tender mercies and graces that got me here. All glory to Him!!. This is Part 1 and will be posting Part 2 tomorrow. Thank you for all your prayers God bless and love you guys!

-From Jesus With Love

Many Are Being Hit With Assignments of Hopelessness

June 22, 2019 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

Romans 5:5

And HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT US, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

It was in during April when the Lord shared with me “that this summer would be difficult a test of faith and the enemy would do all that he can to make me feel hopeless because everything would come against the words he was speaking to me…everything”. Sure enough that has been so true, I don’t think I have been test and tried like I have this summer. However, I am continuously reminded when the Lord speaks to me about things concerning attacks and assignments against me many times its a corporate assignment against the body of Christ.

As I began to respond to comments through social media I started noticing that many other believers where feeling the same type of oppression. Many were battling with feelings of depression, hopelessness and even more so this month as it is Suicide prevention month, spirits of suicide have been released on the body of Christ as well. Forwarned is to be forearmed you know. The Lord has many of us fiery trials and battles that have seemed so long and arduous to truly test our character and our faith that many of us have gone weary. In the weariness the enemy comes at the most vulnerable moment to release thoughts, lies, images, and impressions of hopelessness. Saying “nothing will every change”, “you don’t really believe what the Lord said do you”, “Look your still in the same predicament, give up”, “go back to the old you”, ” Don’t wait on the Lord, YOU do something about it”, ” Are you sure Jesus said…look what is going on” and so much more but we must’n give into the lies! ( now just so you know I am talking to myself here too lol)

I realize before the arrow of hopelessness hit us, we open the door to doubt. Doubting Gods promises, doubting his faithfulness and doubting his goodness. When we began to doubt, the the demon of unbelief enter, the demon of impatience which is accompanied with the demon of anxiety, discouragement, depression and hopelessness. They have a field day in the minds and hearts of those who began to doubt Gods word and ways. Once we get into that mindset we no longer see the value or have faith in praying and seeking the Lord. We find ourselves easily drawn away to other comforts to distract us which can easily pull us so far away we lose our desire for Gods presence all together. So how can we combat this onslaught?

Antidote: Strong praise and worship in the midst of your storm

I am here to encourage you to RISE UP! Now is the time for FERCIOUS FOCUS OF FAITH like never before! Cast down those vain imaginations, thoughts, and feelings began to declare the Lords promises, what he says about you and your situation not what your seeing or feeling. We must go back to the altars of faith. Everyone has them, think of moments in your life where God has answered prayers, when he made provision for you and of his faithfulness. Just as David did we must remind ourselves first of who God is and what he had done in the past remembring that He never changes! He is the same God today, yesterday and forever and if he was faithful before he will be faithful again. I had to go back in my journal and see how God had been leading my life the many things I wrote down not expecting him to answer and realizing many of the answered prayers I am walking in now! This too shall pass, like all the other trials and battles. Upon writing this blog this quote popped on my instagram so timely from my favorite Saint

“The Longer the trial to which God subjects you. The greater the goodness in comforting you during the time of trial and in the exaltation after the combat”
-St. Padre Pio

I am learning that during the test of our faith our hope must never lie on the circumstances changes, not on the people involved, in what is being said, in what is being done to you or what is not being done to you, and definitely not how we feel. our HOPE must be in Jesus Christ alone. We must hope in our Lords character which is good, loving, faithful, and just. Knowing that if he is allowing whatever your going through he will work it out for your good, bringing beauty out of ashes and its because he loves you that he has called you to endure and he is just, that is why he is allowing this to form you and He is faithful to bring all his promises to you to past. So lets us continue to have our hope be in Jesus alone as we cling to the cross in this season of our lives and honestly in every season. As we wait patiently by his grace for him to restore all that has been lost and to refine his beautiful masterpieces into the most beautiful tapestry called our lives for HIS glory!

Say”Jesus I trust you, Jesus I trust you, Jesus I trust you”

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

How The Lord Delivered Me From A “Religious Spirit” Because of Delayed Obedience

May 30, 2019June 3, 2019 From Jesus With Love4 Comments

“OBEDIENCE IS YOUR PROTECTION”
-Jesus

If I can be very honest, I had a sense of fear and shame over take me for moments in wanting to share this testimony and writing this blog. My walk compared to other counterparts have always lets just say different lol. Many things have been said, about my walk as the Lord would always encourage me to press in and not to worry. So I always relied on him being the last word despite the scorn and contempt I faced. So when I found out that I had been oppressed by this spirit as others have thought in the past shame wanted to over take me not to share but I remembered this testimony is for the glory of God! Not only that the heaviness I endured I would never want anyone to go through that. Through this fiery trial I have learned a valuable lesson in obedience as children we have heard one way or the other by our parents “delayed obedience is disobedience”. Man isn’t that the truth and I have come to understand the fear of the Lord. So the lord delivered me so that this may bring deliverance to someone else! SO I SCREAM FROM THE ROOFTOP THAT WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED!

During Lent this is the first time I have observed it seriously. It was a wonderful time of me doing the Lords Supper day and night with the Lord. However, difficult as the Lord began to really do a work in my heart bringing hidden sins to the light as he was desiring to purify my heart. I had been ordained by this ministry a few month back and I began to notice the Lord was truly stripping me more and more of things of the world. He eventually began to lead me in putting a lot of ministry work and stay at his feet instead. I would come before him every morning to hear from him as he desired for me to journal our conversations and his instructions for the day. Then he called us to fasting and intercession for our nation offering whatever sacrifices we desired with our prayers. So one of the sacrifices he asked of me was my showers (okay now back story before your thinking waaa). In order to take a shower I would have too go to friends house and I felt he wanted me to offer this too him as cross to bare for a day or two so gladly I obliged. Then in our of our conversations he desired that he wanted to teach me about obedience and discernment. Then later on I found out the Lord was calling me to a vocation of prayer and solitude for season at a prayer community which I struggled with so it was making sense. These things he was asking me to deny because he was slowly pulling me out of the world and into lifestyle of prayer/solitude. This community is in the mountains and many times there may be moments we have take bucket baths so I found out about all this after the fact therefore confirming why the Lord was asking of these things.

So there are many things I use for discernment one of the things the Lord has taught me to use was a book called the “Bible promises” its all scriptures with different titles and he Lord would lead me from there. Each title meant something for me as the Holy Spirit wanted me to seek him in my decisions throughout the day so I would know his will. At first it was amazing, he really directed me through each scriptures when I would be doing ministry work online, even helped to discern what was going on spiritually with others when I would answer questions. However, about two weeks ago a “false Jesus” slipped in and I found myself feeling so condemned many times with being called repentance, and my sins always before me and being called to a very very strict “Obedience”. I found myself becoming jealous of others and their walk with the Lord because they seemed to have so much freedom but it seems the Lord demanded so much from me. Now I reconciled this was the Lord at first because as I mentioned my walk had somewhat been that way with him. There were many things that others could do but Jesus would always ask me gently to deny and I did so out of love for him willingly. However, this time around I began to fear then love him or this strict compliance with denying myself. I found myself not feeling the freedom to go outside to take a walk, answer my phone, doing work online because as I would seek him with the scriptures he would give me “lust” and “obedience”. It seems my sweet gentle Jesus seemed so far from me. Everywhere I reached in the span of the two weeks when this began I found when I opened the bible judgment, patiently endure, and to offer this affliction as a cross. I was finding no relief from this anguish. I am apart of this intercessory group but I see now out of pride and fear I didn’t open up to tell anyone because to be honest I think I didn’t want to be wrong about this. I kept thinking I am seeking you everyday you wouldn’t steer me wrong right?

Luke 11:28
He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

There were two points of breakthrough as I began to wake up I found myself drained, full of anxiety, fearful in ever decision and just waking up to go to sleep. I no longer enjoyed the Lords supper because I would feel worse about myself when I would leave his presence. Everything began to be a source of condemnation even worship, I would hear songs and the lyrics would began to make me wonder if I was in his will at that moment. My head felt so tight, I had such heaviness on my back, my mind was confused and I was weary. Then I felt I was asked again to fast which I began to do however when I asked to be released from these sacrifices, like taking a shower and eating as I sought him using the scriptures in my Bible promise I would get “Lust”. I was utterly despondent but, I wanted to be obedient so I obliged but so unhappily. My family and friends something was up at this point and I find out now many had been praying for me through this. So I lied in my bed as a song began to play by “Grace Williams your anointing”. I kept thinking as the songs began to play ” Break those chains of bondage those heavy chains…you are free, you are free. stretch out your hands receive your freedom right now”. As I did that I felt like liquid being poured on my head and the release from my head. I than sought the Lord if I could eat at this point and I got scriptures on “Gods love”” so I knew that was yes! I rushed to go eat thinking wait what am I in bondage too could this be lying spirit…no it couldn’t?! (pride again) I then sought the Lord again and he gave me this word in one of my rhemas and said ” Ask for the grace of discerning of spirits as the scriptures says you cannot trust every spirit”. I was dumbfounded I couldn’t believe that I could be deceived this way. Oh how humbling it was at this point I hadn’t reached out to any of my members of my intercessor group as to what what’s going on so immediately I did.

As I opened up telling me superior everything and what I was hearing as she confirmed those things seemed extreme and maybe the Lord was telling me to come right away to this prayer community then waiting but still I wanted to hear from the Lord myself. There was so much confusion about this decision whether to wait or go right away(pride again)

You see the Lord had called me to this prayer community about 2 weeks prior giving me the scripture
“Do not be afraid,” Jesus said to Simon, “from now on you will catch men.” And when they had brought their boats ashore, they left everything and followed him.

However I had fought with this call because I didn’t know the Lord was leading me and finally when I come to accept it I wanted more time for him to tell me when to leave…..(hence now I see in the scripture above the they left immediately to follow Jesus so I should’ve known) My spiritual mother felt that I was suppose to come right away but I was still struggling with surrendering to this call and I remember getting a rhema from the Lord that said “Obedience is like a knight clothed in a full suit of stout armor, with his sword on a strong and spirited horse. Riding into battle, he surely has the advantage over his foes. Whereas, Disobedience is like a knight with no helmet, no armor and no sword, seated on a sorry nag of a horse. He will surely be unseated, dislodged and taken captive.””. So here I found myself two weeks in torment thinking that the Holy Spirit wanted me to be obedient to every tedious decision I did daily in the house and not go outside, not eat while offering it all to the Lord as I am waiting. Which of course was not him but I had become that friar who sulkily obeyed by saying yes but dragging in obedience to Gods call to leave which allowed the enemy to slip in..wow. But the Lord showed his great mercy towards me and heard the cry of my heart two days. When I woke up again 2 days after having the breakthrough but still so oppressed and heavy. I woke up with the song playing in my head then I felt liquid being poured on my head again. I thought to myself hmmm Holy Spirit what was that about as I got up from the bed I walked to my computer to began work and I found my anointing oil which had been lost for months lying right by my chair (not coincidence). So I thought of the song and I anointed my hands and head just then my spiritual mother called again as she had sought the Lord on my behalf in he midst of all my confusion. As we both sought holy spirit finding out that my discernment was way off and of course it was not Holy Spirit, she then asked the Lord if I am meant to leave everything and come right now. Holy Spirit gave her scriptures on “joy” and “success”. I was in shock but so grateful for this break through at that moment. I felt a peace I couldn’t explain and my whole body was so warm with his presence. I got on my knees in tears thinking the Lord for his great mercy towards me for clarity and deliverance at that very moment the oppression lifted immediately! I literally ran outside lol and me and the “real Jesus” took a walk. As I have taken this walking routine so many times I noticed things I hadn’t before I believe the Lord wanted me to see. The first was rose bush blooming so beautiful and I felt the Lord telling me that I will bloom beautifully and then I saw a bush I pass everyday when I would walk with the kids but as I looked closely it had fruit on there! It was an apricot tree and I felt he was confirming that as I leave I would bare fruit. So the Lord has set me free from what kept me bound, the love of the world, the love of my family, my own wisdom and my need to know when I don’t understand. I see how now the importance of immediate obedience is may he give me the grace to “get up, leave everything and follow him if he ask me again. So no longer in the waiting…this is a new season and chapter in my life as I dive into the unknown with Jesus and in freedom to be all that he has called me to be!….So please be obedient immediately to whatever the Lord is asking or calling you too you wont regret it!

Praise to God for His Salvation and Providence!

Praise is awaiting You, O God, in Zion;
Psalm 65
And to You the [a]vow shall be performed.
2 O You who hear prayer,
To You all flesh will come.
3 Iniquities prevail against me;
As for our transgressions,
You will provide atonement for them.

4 Blessed is the man You choose,
And cause to approach You,
That he may dwell in Your courts.
We shall be satisfied with the goodness of Your house,
Of Your holy temple.

5 By awesome deeds in righteousness You will answer us,
O God of our salvation,
You who are the confidence of all the ends of the earth,
And of the far-off seas;
6 Who established the mountains by His strength,
Being clothed with power;
7 You who still the noise of the seas,
The noise of their waves,
And the tumult of the peoples.
8 They also who dwell in the farthest parts are afraid of Your signs;
You make the outgoings of the morning and evening [b]rejoice.

9 You [c]visit the earth and water it,
You greatly enrich it;
The river of God is full of water;
You provide their grain,
For so You have prepared it.
10 You water its ridges abundantly,
You settle its furrows;
You make it soft with showers,
You bless its growth.

11 You crown the year with Your goodness,
And Your paths drip with abundance.
12 They drop on the pastures of the wilderness,
And the little hills rejoice on every side.
13 The pastures are clothed with flocks;
The valleys also are covered with grain;
They shout for joy, they also sing.

-From Jesus with love

The Lesson I Learned From My 4yr Old Neices Tantrum

May 23, 2019May 23, 2019 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

It was just last week that my niece threw one of her worst tantrum’s I have yet to see, “NO'”..”no”…”no” to everything. To say the least it was a very long and rough day. Any parent who has a toddler or a young child has experienced this one way or another. I am not a parent yet but, indeed the Lord is training me with these little ones as I watch them all week and do my best to teach them about Jesus in the midst of it all.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

So the day was going fine until I began to give her instruction like picking up after herself, sharing with her sister, and not screaming around. One little tantrum, turned too two, then three. I found her screaming at the top of her lungs in tears crying because she didn’t want to do what I asked. I really don’t like to spank unless I have too and I found myself withdrawing more and more to anger. I was really didn’t want to spank her but after the third time of her screaming at the top of her lungs “nooo” when I asked to pick up the toys. I spanked her then she just began to scream even more at this point I had to put her in the room for time out as she began to roll around the floor kicking and screaming.
As I was getting her 2 year old sister together to eat again she came crying out of the room and at that point I told her to go back because of her bad behavior. Then she threw herself on the floor again, screaming and crying and crying and screaming. As she got up she went to go and get the diaper bag from the couch and poured all the items out throwing things everywhere. At this point I had ENOUGH and went to give her 2 more spankings in the room as I told her “I loved her but had to spank her because she was misbehaving and had she had too stay in the room.” As soon as I closed the door she began to scream again, this time I heard things being thrown against the door and the mirror I was in shock. Like perfect timing my mom walked in to take her and her sister home before I could yell or spank her again. I was flabbergasted to say the least and told my mom what she had done and was doing. My mom was so tired and told them just to get their shoes and come. So she came out of the room crying and left with my mom. Which left me fuming inside as I told my other sister what she had done, and how bad she had been. I had so much anger still in my heart towards what had just took place. So in the evening during my communion or I call it the “Lords Supper” I began to feel awful for my attitude towards her in my heart and asked the Lord to forgive me for not being more gentle. Also for holding so much anger towards a little 4 year old lol but, I knew he would grant me his mercy and patience to do it better the next day. You would think that however, I found myself that morning when she came to give me a hug there was a little something lingering in my heart towards her now. It was, could I believe “resentment”. I was holding onto what had happened the day before against her in my heart. I couldn’t believe it and tried to shake it off just as I was feeding them breakfast she spoke up and taught the biggest lesson on childlike forgiveness. I found myself being slightly cold towards her than usual then she said “Nasane” I want to say sorry for my attitude yesterday I was just having a bad day”. I was in shock, and felt so humbled as I asked who told you to say that? She then said “I spoke to my mom about it”.” At that point I felt so embarrassed as a grown up, as a suppose “woman of God” that the Lord used this little 4 year old lovely little girl to teach me on childlike forgiveness and letting go. That Christ like forgiveness that doesn’t hold on to the past nor to any memory to harbor resentment.

I then had my sister text me later that day to ask if Naomi apologized and I mentioned to her she had. My sister went on to say that in the morning she woke up and they talked about. She sent me a text saying “told her to apologize and let you know that she was having a bad day that’s it lol it but She said” she knows God was watching so she asked for His forgiveness in her room” All I could do was laugh and be humbled at the same time as we both had gone before the Lord repenting of our lack of charity before one another but she was more humble to come and confess her wrong as I held on too resentment of what she had done. Well, the Lord truly has lessons set up for me everyday and the greatest lesson I am learning and continue to learn is through this little precious girls whom I get to love and many many times thinking I am pouring into but they are truly pouring into me as well. Thank you Jesus
-From Jesus With Love

LOVE IN ACTION
Romans 12:9-10
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.¹⁰Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

-From Jesus With Love

The Lord is My Shepherd….and He Leads Me His Way

February 17, 2019 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

The Lord put it on our hearts for us all to watch “Tortured for Christ” Voice of the Martyr’s movie which tells of true story of Richard Wurmbrandin Romania when they were taken over by the communist. Many Christians were put into prison camps tortured, and died for their faith in Jesus. Towards the end of the movie there was a young man who was on his death bed sick with TB and he was talking to Richard and said that the scriptures had never been more real until now and he is okay that his shepherd had led him to a lie in sick bed so if that was the Lords will he would accept it. He died giving his medication to Richard so that he may live. At that moment Psalm 23 I had what you would call an epiphany with that scripture. This young man truly understood what it meant for the Lord to be his shepherd when many of us Christians still struggle with that today.

I am one of them as I learn to let go and trust the Lord to lead me and lay me down wherever he wills. Many times when you read that scripture or even look up images for that psalm you see a shepherd or Jesus with sheep in lush green pastures but it hit me that wherever God lays you down is indeed green pastures. Alot of the time we have our preconceived notations about what the Lord should do with us, how he should do it and where he should place us but this young man understand. That in a communist prison, on a sick bed about to die that the good shepherd had led him there. It was the devils plan, an attack or a witch (especially if your African) lol. However, I believe he had finally come to peace that he was one of Gods sheep and he was in complete control of his life whether good or bad.

When the Lord led me to leave my beautiful apartment to come back to my mothers house to babysit my nieces. I never thought to consider this my pasture for the mean time. I mean there have been some valley moments be He has led me here. So in fact the Lord is saying where ever he lays you down is green pastures. In green pastures the sheep find rest, our fed, our protected, our refreshed, and our taken care of. One may ask how can sickness, suffering, not having your own place be green pasture when all around things seem so bleak. However, I realize in this place I have been equipped, humbled, broken, healed, found my rest in the Lord, fed from his Heart, protected, refreshed and taken care of. He has led me in his way not my way.

So where my beloved fellow sheep has the Lord led you? What does your green pasture look like? To some it may not look like the pasture or seem so green but indeed the Lord, our good shepherd has led you there to lay for a season and even when we are in the valley we need to not fear for he is even nearer. Don’t give up because if you do you may never reach that table that he has already set, and prepared for you to sit in the presence of your enemies that you may be a testimony of someone who trusted, had faith and believed in your shepherd. When others didn’t understand where he was leading you too, you never wandered from his staff and rod.

-From Jesus With Love

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

¹The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
²    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
⁴Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

You Seek Me But You Dont Trust Me -Jesus

February 1, 2019 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

I woke up two night ago with a dream that disturbed me a little. I couldn’t quite understand the meaning and wasn’t sure what I needed to do or even how to pray. So I sought the Lord with a quick prayer and used my rhema cards to get a word from Holy Spirit concerning what to do. He then gave me this rhema word:

“Seek me for me. You Seek me but you don’t trust in me that’s what makes you go off on your own.”- Jesus

Tears immediately began to roll down my cheeks as it hit my heart so tenderly. I could just hear Jesus’s hurt behind these words. Yes, we can move Gods heart to pain when we don’t trust him. I began to think how faithful he had been, how he had come thru for me so many times in this short but intimate relationship we have had for almost 4 years now and I stood before him still not yet trusting him.

Matthew 8:26
“You of little faith,” Jesus replied, “why are you so afraid?”

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who you have given your entire self too. You have been patient with them through many times of betrayals, their wandering, their rejection of your love yet you never left. Faithfully available for them whenever they needed, always there to comfort, give an encouraging word, guidance and love. Yet after being with you for so many years they confess that they really don’t trust you. That would be so painful and that’s what I felt in that moment how easily wavered I am in my heart with the Lord. My weakness yet again naked before the one I love However, I am so grateful that he is always willing to expose this issues of my heart so I don’t continue on in our relationship like this

Then secondly as he mentioned too “Seek me for Me”. That hit a chord as well realizing sadly searched my heart to see if indeed I had become a seeker of things, of answers or even going thru the motions rather than relationship with him. I felt his tenderness and grief over this as well because many seek the Lord for selfish motives. For breakthrough, for blessings, for favor, for knowledge, for clarity, and the list can go on and on. Now these things aren’t bad to seek the Lord on but when that becomes the #1 motive then we have lost relationship with HIM. He is by no means a far off distant, unrelatable, irrelevant God. No, Jesus is so very real and as He is God, He is also fully man so he too has REAL EMOTIONS and NEEDS that many forgot or haven’t been taught. He desires relationship and how many of us seek the Lord daily just for HIS sake? Just to be with Him, to console him, to love Him, to communion with Him, to see how his day is going, to hear his heart? Imagine being in a relationship with someone who sought you for what they can get rather then who you are…hmm

Isaiah 29:19
Therefore the Lord said: “These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.

So I came before the Lord utterly broken, naked and repentant before him for hurting his tender heart as I did with my lack of faith in him. I just layed at his feet in worship and allowed myself to just enjoy his presence to get a word, see anything, get revelation or understanding but just to be with my beloved. Who was longing for my sincere affection and attention so I gave it. As I honestly said Jesus continue to grow my trust in you Lord and taking a deep breath still unknown about a lot of things and this season of wilderness I said ” Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”.

So my friend if you can be honest with yourselves are you really trusting the Lord or are you still struggling in that area as many of us do. Go back to seeking him just to be with him as you did in the beginning and take his had firmly with all your fears, insecurities and doubts with a deep breath saying “Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”

-From Jesus with Love

Jesus’s Farting Bride

January 15, 2019 From Jesus With Love4 Comments

I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me. As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and the jingle went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have ^[a]refused him. For^[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew. Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love