This the first time I have given myself over in Lent truly allow the Lord to do surgery upon my heart and have his way in me. As it is a time of purification as the Lord draws you nearer to produce holiness. He mentioned it would be challenging and how it has been to say the least. As he been showing me many hidden sins within myself that have been a hindrance to what he has called me to and to holiness. He has allowed many test and trials which I seemed to fail right after the other because of the same vices. I began to get frustrated, discouraged and found myself in self pity as I was thinking but Lord I have done all you have asked, I have done this..and that and this…and holy spirit continued to give reading in Job during my time of communion. As I finally realized he was pointing out one major hidden sin which was the sin of Job, the “woe is me sin”. The sin of Self Righteousness and Self Pity.
Job 32:2-4
So these three men stopped answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. 2 But Elihu son of Barakel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, became very angry with Job for justifying himself rather than God. 3 He was also angry with the three friends, because they had found no way to refute Job, and yet had condemned him.
If I can be honest many times I have heard of the story of job and read the last chapter but not the entire book and I never quite understood why his friends were reprimanded by God or understood why Job was severely chastised by the Lord. It was God who told Satan that he was righteous Job 2:6-22. However, as you see in Job 31, Job goes on to tell his friends all the sin’s had not committed to be worthy of this suffering he was going thru. Which sounded just like me when the Lord would reveal another hidden sin I would go on this rant within my heart regrading all the the sins I hadn’t done because it was utterly despondent to find myself falling into sin everyday. Until, the Holy Spirit began to show me it is my Self righteousness that causes me to go into self pity when the Lord allows more suffering or reveals sin because there is nothing I can do within myself to ever be clean before him. It is Christ righteousness that makes me clean and therefore whatever he allows I deserve because he took the worst punishment which was death. Which I never have to taste because of what Christ has done.
I was humbled to say the least and really began to see the depravity of my immense pride that still lingered now in self righteousness and contending with the Lord by going into self pity when he allowed these ever fiery trials as I deserved his consolation or relief. He has been truly teaching me what it means to be a “living sacrifice” and to be yielded in “Total Surrender” which means to be a wounded prisoner of his love. Suffering with Christ and as Job finally stated “if he slay me, yet I will praise him” (Job 13:15). I believe the Lord is looking for us all as believers to come to that place of maturity that though he slays our flesh yet we will praise him! For many of us we are not willing to suffer or even surrender in suffering because we murmur, complain, get discouraged and worse go in self pity thinking we don’t deserve what the Lord is allow which will lead us all into self righteousness.
However, the Lord is faith and even though he is sovereign and he has divine providence over each our lives with whatever he allows which is always right and just. He is a good good Father as he has been reminding me in this season of Lent. That although this process of purification is painful and challenging he promises to restore. Always that nothing we sacrifice or endure is without merit in due time if we don’t give up. He is faithful to restore, establish and strengthen us. Just as Job, whose later days were far more glorious, joyful, fulfilling and fruitful more than the former. So my friend lets continue to endure and say yes to Jesus to whatever he ask of us, whatever he takes from us, and whatever failures we face. We say yes to you Jesus, we thank you for your righteousness that you clothe me us with and give us he grace to rejoice in our suffering in Jesus name!
-From Jesus with Love
Job 31
What Can I Expect from God?
31 1-4 “I made a solemn pact with myself
never to undress a girl with my eyes.
So what can I expect from God?
What do I deserve from God Almighty above?
Isn’t calamity reserved for the wicked?
Isn’t disaster supposed to strike those who do wrong?
Isn’t God looking, observing how I live?
Doesn’t he mark every step I take?
5-8 “Have I walked hand in hand with falsehood,
or hung out in the company of deceit?
Weigh me on a set of honest scales
so God has proof of my integrity.
If I’ve strayed off the straight and narrow,
wanted things I had no right to,
messed around with sin,
Go ahead, then—
give my portion to someone who deserves it.
9-12 “If I’ve let myself be seduced by a woman
and conspired to go to bed with her,
Fine, my wife has every right to go ahead
and sleep with anyone she wants to.
For disgusting behavior like that,
I’d deserve the worst punishment you could hand out.
Adultery is a fire that burns the house down;
I wouldn’t expect anything I count dear to survive it.
13-15 “Have I ever been unfair to my employees
when they brought a complaint to me?
What, then, will I do when God confronts me?
When God examines my books, what can I say?
Didn’t the same God who made me, make them?
Aren’t we all made of the same stuff, equals before God?
16-18 “Have I ignored the needs of the poor,
turned my back on the indigent,
Taken care of my own needs and fed my own face
while they languished?
Wasn’t my home always open to them?
Weren’t they always welcome at my table?
19-20 “Have I ever left a poor family shivering in the cold
when they had no warm clothes?
Didn’t the poor bless me when they saw me coming,
knowing I’d brought coats from my closet?
21-23 “If I’ve ever used my strength and influence
to take advantage of the unfortunate,
Go ahead, break both my arms,
cut off all my fingers!
The fear of God has kept me from these things—
how else could I ever face him?
If Only Someone Would Give Me a Hearing!
24-28 “Did I set my heart on making big money
or worship at the bank?
Did I boast about my wealth,
show off because I was well-off?
Was I ever so awed by the sun’s brilliance
and moved by the moon’s beauty
That I let myself become seduced by them
and worshiped them on the sly?
If so, I would deserve the worst of punishments,
for I would be betraying God himself.
29-30 “Did I ever crow over my enemy’s ruin?
Or gloat over my rival’s bad luck?
No, I never said a word of detraction,
never cursed them, even under my breath.
31-34 “Didn’t those who worked for me say,
‘He fed us well. There were always second helpings’?
And no stranger ever had to spend a night in the street;
my doors were always open to travelers.
Did I hide my sin the way Adam did,
or conceal my guilt behind closed doors
Because I was afraid what people would say,
fearing the gossip of the neighbors so much
That I turned myself into a recluse?
You know good and well that I didn’t.
35-37 “Oh, if only someone would give me a hearing!
I’ve signed my name to my defense—let the
Almighty One answer!
I want to see my indictment in writing.
Anyone’s welcome to read my defense;
I’ll write it on a poster and carry it around town.
I’m prepared to account for every move I’ve ever made—
to anyone and everyone, prince or pauper.
38-40 “If the very ground that I farm accuses me,
if even the furrows fill with tears from my abuse,
If I’ve ever raped the earth for my own profit
or dispossessed its rightful owners,
Then curse it with thistles instead of wheat,
curse it with weeds instead of barley.”
The words of Job to his three friends were finished.
