In The Waiting….

waiting

If I can be honest this week has been a little rough, well a lot of rough. Started to have those anxious feelings rise up again. Asking the Lord when Lord when, what’s next, what should I do, when will things change, where is the breakthrough, am I in your will or have I missed it? All of these thoughts and much more bombarded me this week. I had to remind myself, “Nana you have been here before. You know better than to entertain these thoughts. Don’t go down this black winding pit the enemy has set up for you”. There is a difference in being called and waiting to be sent as our pastor put it lol. When the Lord calls you and you answer that call. You then have to go through the process of waiting until you are sent out for ministry. So I find myself waiting again. It feels like my whole walk with the Lord has been just that…waiting. Having to trust in Gods timing whiles fighting against discouragement, moving ahead of God, listening to what others say, comparing myself to my peers and my flesh.

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

In the Waiting….God is working behind the scenes!

Waiting a lot of times doesn’t look like your accomplishing anything because in actually most of the time that’s when God is accomplishing hidden things on your behalf. I had to remind myself this week and I am pretty sure for the rest of my life in different seasons lol. I found myself excited for the new year, breakthroughs and the promises of God to finally materialize. I just knew that direction would come immediately, I should’ve known better lol. I found myself with finances running so low, still unemployed no direction for employment, then my phone got slammed in my car door after purchasing a new phone a week prior. I was unable to see the screen make calls or answer messages. Then my car door wouldn’t open with my ignition and no money for locksmith hmmm. So have been stuck in the house all this week….so I thought to myself more suffering Lord uuugh!!  Immediately  wanting to throw a pity party..okay I did for like 2 days lol I was reminded of what the Lord had spoken to me before “Abandon yourself to my will, or you will become bitter and full of anxiety”. I thought of course Lord your right you have taught me to give thanks in everything and trust that you plan out my day. So instead of fighting this and allowing the enemy to get a foothold. I saw this as an opportunity to give thanks instead. One I will miss this season where I had hours to spend time with Jesus. So that’s what I felt the Lord wanted me to spend more time with him and in prayer.

Luke 10:41
Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

In the Waiting….The best thing to do is to sit at Gods feet

The reason I was anxious because I found myself wanting to do something, to be busy about the Lords business rather than be at home not working and nothing to show for it. At least what I thought but the Lord reminded me with this scripture. That as bad as I want to be “doing something” the best thing of all is to be in his presence and sit at his feet. That’s where my roots would become deep in Him, that’s where he lays the foundation of what he wants to do through me. That’s where he heals me of wounds, binds up my injures and cleans out my heart of any displeasing things. That’s where I learn to look like him, act like him and become him. That is indeed what we need most to be still at his feet as long as we can before we can do any “work” for Jesus.

Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

In The Waiting….Keep doing what your doing

I have also learned that waiting in the eyes of God is not only sitting still and waiting on him but actively waiting. Being obedient whiles waiting, worshiping whiles waiting, being patience and serving whiles waiting. That was a lyric from a song the Holy Spirt has been playing during my alone time. Which is so true, that’s a prophetic word I got two weeks ago. Which I was just reminded of when these feelings and attack came my way. I began to think that I wasn’t in Gods will or I need to do something different. However, we just need to continue serving, listening and living for him steadily until he makes things clear and he says now go, this is the way walk in it. One step of obedience at a time will lead you into your purpose. Reading the scriptures I was reminded Jesus was prepared 30 years for 3 years of ministry, Moses waited 40 Years,  Joseph waited 13 years. Jesus please don’t let me wait that long LOL but, I know if it is the will of God waiting is always best because that’s when preparation takes place. The longer the preparation, the more equipped and the bigger the impact.

So Lord help me us to give thanks in the waiting. Help us to trust and know that you are working amazing things behind the scenes Jesus. Help us not to compare ourselves to others or even listen to others opinion about where we should or shouldn’t be. Give us the grace to patience and actively wait on you for its not our life anymore but yours in Jesus name!

-From Jesus with Love

Nana

 

Singleness In Light Of Eternity

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 I know, I know I can already the see the eye rolls of many young ladies who are desiring, have been waiting and some to be frankly honest desperate to get married . I can also hear some ladies saying “what do you mean I shouldn’t desire marriage?” lol of course not. Marriage is a wonderful gift from the Lord and meant to be an example and a reflection of our relationship with him. However, in our generation marriage and  weddings have been idolized and magnified leaving those who are single feeling incomplete, hopeless and sometimes purposeless which is a lie many have believed and soooo far from the truth. We have even taken the worlds approach by encouraging ladies to make themselves available, to even look a certain way to catch the eyes of a man or even worse were conditioned to believe as a single woman when you come to Jesus the next step is getting married. So you pursue, hunger for that, desire that all through your single season….and its wasted. In light of eternity there is so much work to be done whiles your single! I know man go through this too but speaking from a woman’s point of view because that’s what I am. A single 32 year old lover of Jesus and pursing him with everything I have…..until he GIVES me marriage!

Song of Solomon 8:4
Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.

I love this scripture especially this message version is says not stir up love until you’re ready. Many ladies believe they are ready for marriage but let me challenge you are you truly? As I said before marriage is a gift given by God but most importantly it is suppose to mirror the relationship you have with Jesus already. As a single woman Jesus is your husband (Isaiah 54:5), Is he your everything, do you do everything with him and for him?  One thing that confused me upon surrendering to the Lord was I began to notice many young Christian ladies around me who would talk more about marriage constantly, go to conferences for it, pursue it, pray and fast for it than Jesus (which there is nothing wrong with these things) but my hearts desire was to pursue more of Jesus. An aunt of mine even made a comment to my mom stating “Wow Nana is really into the Lord she must be wanting a husband”. I was like whaaaaa lol I was noticing that was the mentality of most of the African woman at my local church. You could have success in your life and career but if you weren’t married it meant nothing and that going to church as a single woman was to find a husband (the devil is a lie ) LOL. Please I wanted Jesus more than my last breath and I still do #lovemesomehim.

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Are You Submitted Bride To Jesus

Ladies how you are single is how you will be married. If your discontent, complaining, unhappy, selfish, not driven or motivated and especially not submitted to the Lord that’s exactly how you will be when you get married. That’s dangerous lol. Marriage is an example of what your relationship is with Christ. So if you haven’t totally surrendered to the Lord in every area of your life then how than will you know how to submit to your husband. So in this single season why don’t you ask God what it means to submit to him. Are you obedient to what he ask you to do, are you mindful of what you watch, where you go, how you spend your time and even your money all just to please him? Do you seek Jesus for counsel before you make decisions?

Proverb 14:1
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Are You About His Kingdom

What are you doing with this beautiful gift of singleness the Lord has entrusted to you. Are you a wise woman building up his kingdom or are you building your kingdom? Many ladies have their hearts so focused on marriage  that they become idle no doing anything to really impact the kingdom. Some might think the only ministry you will have has only to do with you and your husband. However, your life should be a ministry now. In Genesis the Lord blessed the man and the woman and said “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it (Genesis 1:28).  Many use this scripture solely pertaining to barring children but God wants you to bare fruit so are you? There is soooo much work to be done. All of  you have an amazing purpose outside of your husband in this season.  This season might be for intercession of others, serving your community or local church, traveling on mission trips, hosting events to draw many to Christ,  evangelizing where he places you, leading bible studies, serving children, poor and elderly or might be season to walk in deliverance, freedom, healing, building your confidence, trust and faith in your true husband Jesus! Guess what, when God finally gives you the gift of marriage none of these things stop, your spouse just adds on to it…..to the Kingdom. #Kingdomcouple

 

So you see sis you are burdened with a glorious amazing awing purpose and it doesn’t begin when you get married but, it began the moment you said yes to Jesus…..hehe wait you see how when a man ask you “will you be my wife?”…well when you accept Jesus you actually say yes to being his bride hahah I love that! So now that your married to Christ take his hand in this single season and do life with him. Eternity starts right NOW and he has gifted you with so many other gifts he wants you to use right NOW. So what will you do to impact eternity whiles you wait…for the gift of marriage?

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

The Word For This Year Is “Child Like Trust”

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So isn’t she the cutest….yes that’s my  3 year old niece London aka my mini aka Lolo :). I have heard it said that when you have children you then come to understand your relationship with the Lord even more deeply. You began to see and understand from his eyes and his heart through your child. Interestingly enough the Lord has been teaching me through my niece Lolo about trust and  how many times I try to do things on my own instead of relying on his own strength. When the Lord gave me these two lessons I laughed thinking “oh my goodness Lord that’s exactly how I am with you, huh” and just had to write about it.

John 1:12
but as many as received him, to them gave he the right to be children of God, to those that believe on his name;

You see everyone believer is a child of God that is our true identity. We are sons and daughters of the Most High King, the Creator of the Universe, the one who Started it all and will End it all, who was in the Beginning and is the End, the One true living God that is our Father. Soooo why don’t we trust him? lol Oh how we can talk a lot of  lip service all day but how many of us continue to worry, to doubt, to even fear because we forget who are Father is and how close he is to us in every detail of our lives.

The First Lesson: Child Like Trust

I went out to the playground with my sister and my nieces the weekend after Christmas and we bought Lolo these new Frozen skates she wanted to test out. Mind you she has never skated before but, she was so excited. As she began to walk up the trail she began to cry and was really scared so my sister grabbed her hand to walk with her. However, she was still so fearful holding my sisters hands alone then I caught up with them and grabbed her other hand upon doing that I immediately felt her feeling more secure. She immediately let her legs go beneath her which made me hold on more tightly startled I thought she was falling just to look down and see she was doing it on purpose. As she began to do tricks, turning her feet, letting her legs go to skate then she would pull her body up again just to do it all over again. My sister retorted I guess she didn’t feel confident with just me she had to have you beside her too. Then we both burst into laughter and I told her oh my goodness this is how it is when we walk with God. As we grab the hand of the Father and Jesus’s hand we immediately trust that we cannot fall, they wont fail, that they are for us, and that they got us so we can do anything! That’s what the Lord reminded me in prayer as I asked him for a word in 2017, the image of my niece that night came to me as he reminded me “Child Like Trust”. To have both hands planted firmly in his trusting in his promises and his lead in my life. To chart new territory and not to fear the unknown or uncomfortable but, to only let go of my fears, worries and reservation and as I do with the help of he Holy Spirit I will do some amazing tricks lol…..or should I say works/breakthrough for the Lord!

Second Lesson: Trust In His Strength & Ability

Now this lesson came this week as my niece came over to stay with me for a day. I had to moves some foldable chairs and tables from my living room into my storage room. So immediately my niece ran to help saying “I want to help”. I told her sure, grab one of the chairs so she did as I grabbed two. Then she attempted to walk in front of me and hold the chairs on her own but, she couldn’t. So I grabbed the top half of the chair and began to assist her carrying most of the weight as she held the chair and walked with it. She was so excited she was carrying the chair all on her own….or so she thought lol. As we placed the chair in the storage room she was so excited that “she did it” as I praised her my hands began to get hot ( sidenote which has become a manifestation of Gods presence) I just burst into laughter again thinking oh my goodness this is exactly what I do with you huh lol. So I continued as she asked again to help, she grabbed another chair but, this time wanted to do it all by herself and go ahead of me. I told her to wait but, she didn’t listen and the chair came crashing down after a few steps. She looked so scared then looked back at me so sad as I told her its okay. Let me help you, as I picked up the first half of the chair taking most of the weight and allowing her to carry it to the storage room. The last and final chair she attempted again slightly a little more cautious but, still didn’t wait on me so it fell again. Instead of being sad this time she immediately bend down looked at the chair then back at me and asked me to help her. All I could do was laugh as I knew the Lord was teaching me a valuable lesson on trust and relying on him right before my eyes.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

How many times do we ask the Lord use me, use me or “I want to help Lord guide me”? Then when the Lord directs us we “think” we can actually do it on our own and even when we do it, it is him doing the work through us by His strength not ours. Then when we become confident in our own ability we tell God…its okay I can do it. We run ahead of him and then when we stumble it leaves us fearful, sad and sometimes hurt. However, do we learn from that nope lol we just decided to still do it on our won but be more cautious then we stumble again however by this time we learn Gods grace and his goodness so we come to him and ask for help. How faithful he is to continuously, always and forever help us when we ask. He is soooo good! This two lessons taught me not only to trust God but his heart for us as his children. As my love for my niece compelled me to always run to her rescue and just be delighted to assist her how much more our father in Heaven. He takes pleasure in loving us, protecting us, being with us and helping us because he knows there is now way we can do it whether we believe that or not. Yet he is so gracious and patient. So what have you not been trusting God with, what have you been trying to do in your own strength? Or has he told you to be fearless this 2017 year yet you still doubt his provision to help you bring things to past? Will you trust like the child that you are, will you seek his help and rely on his ability and strength above all else to do a great work through you? Let go and be in awe this year as you walk into a place of “Child like trust, Child like faith and Child like love this year!

 

From Jesus with Love,

God bless

 

Its Our Anniversary!!

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So its our anniversary!, yes the day I finally surrendered completely control to the one who deserves control Jesus! lol It was 3 years ago on January 1, 2014 I remember I was at my little sisters house and I had been toiling with this decision for a couple of weeks now. After receiving a prophetic word from two different people confirming God wanted me to lay down my event business, clothing line and desire to move to NY in order to follow MY dreams instead now to follow HIM. That was a tough and scary decision as I was on the couch I just prayed I believe the most sincere prayer as I told him “that I was scared to let go and give him complete control but I would do it” Immediately after I said that prayer my phone had a notification the bible verse of the day and it was:

Isaiah 41:10
Don’t be afraid for I am with you
Don’t be discouraged for I am your God
I will strengthen you and help you
I will lift you up with my victorious right hand

I remember then running to my sisters room with the phone in the palm of my hand shaking in shock saying ” Omg he answered me, he answered me” with excitement lol
In all honesty I had made a commitment in my heart to give complete control over to Jesus for about a year to see what he could do lol. Well we see who won and who will always win…Oh ye of little faith, that was truly me.

Now 3 years later what can I say about my beloved bridegroom Jesus, he indeed has become my everything. He once said to me that “if I don’t know him and his ways how can I then walk in my assignment and calling”. He has indeed been faithful in showing me my true identity, my purpose and has filled every void and cleaned up every throne in my heart that I had. He not only King of my  heart but of my life, my decisions, my thoughts, and reactions. I didn’t know how lost I was until He found me! That’s what I love about him drawing me into intimacy . I have realized Jesus desires this relationship with all his children. That’s what the cross did for all those who will and do believe in Jesus. It restores back to your true identity as a son and daughter of God. Having fellowship and communion with him daily which is available to anyone who would believe and surrender their whole life that Christ would live through you as his disciple and bride.

You see I was a believer but not a disciple and definitely not a bride. I hadn’t fully surrendered, I had the holy spirit around me but he wasn’t indwelling within me. That’s the beauty in surrender, you give up what wasn’t yours in the first place……your life because Jesus Christ died for all men and in him alone you have life.We have been through so much together it truly feels like a marriage not even kidding lol   Now as his bride and disciple I know what that scripture means to be a submitted wife:

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord

Ooooh how I have learned and still learning the true meaning of submission unto the Lord. Its difficult at times for sure because its crucifying your flesh  and truly DIE to yourself completely which is all by Gods grace and his work in us.  He indeed has and is preparing me for marriage…Heeey now! lol I went through my old journals  to look back at the many things I didn’t know and have come to know now walking with the Lord these past 3 years.

What I have learned about being the bride of Christ:

  • Its soooooo rewarding!
  • I was sent by God here on this earth to testify of him and be a witness to the light that’s inside of me…Jesus! John 1
  • He dwells in my heart so I have to keep it pure
  • Obedience, Obedience, Obedience lol oh and Trust, Trust, Trust hehe
  • I am the highlight of his day! (we all are actually !)
  • I have the same grace to walk just like Jesus did on this earth!
  • The fastest way to His heart is through worship, he literally shows up and something supernatural happens!
  • It is difficult, it will cost you everything for the word say  “narrow and difficult is the way that leads to life and few go there in” Matthew 7:14
  • Your life calls for complete abandonment to self-desires, motives, plans, strengths and complete surrender to the Lord
  • This intimacy is available to everyone who desires it….”seek him UNTIL you find him” Jeremiah 29:13
  • Giving up is not an option, to take Jesus hands when things get difficult and allow him to carry me
  • That we all have the ability to actually hear and see Jesus in the spirit! Matthew 5:8
  • Jesus loves to dance, He is so tender, sensitive, funny, and so loving!
  • That my life should always be to raise others up around me than myself
  • The greatest power on earth is LOVE and he has given all his brides a gift of love
  • I have been called to a life of suffering, rejection and death (to self) just like my beloved Christ
  • That I am called to look just like Christ I will be persecuted, accused, made fun of, rejected, scorned, talked about….that’s all normal because that’s when I look most like him
  • He uses the worst situation and people to test my heart in love, patience and charity
  • My Enemies are a gift from him and not enemies at all. He uses them to purify me so I should bless them and be thankful instead
  • The more difficult and dark the situation or person the better because the light in me can shine brighter
  • He has given me charge over the angels of heaven, I can command their assistance in anything….I love the angels! Matthew 28:18
  • I am called to love others to Christ
  • To be humble, to little, to be the least, to be overlooked, to become a beggar for his sake is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven
  • To always gives thanks in everything…..I mean everything

 

So have you been feeling a pull on your heart this year 2017, to finally surrender ALL to the Lord. Not just surrender your Sundays by going to church and maybe even Wednesdays for bible study but no surrender all that you are. Surrender your heart, your life, and dreams completely to the one who is in control of ALL things, to the one who created the universe, to the one who has ALL authority over heaven and earth and most importantly to the one that died for you that you may live…..in him, Jesus. I am telling you surrender it all to him, surrender this year to him and stand back, let go of control, watch and be in awe at what he does in and with your life!

-From Jesus with Love

 

The Season Of Crickets & The Value of The “One”

One audience

Yes that’s a cricket next to him on that seat lol. Oh how accurate is this image. Indeed this is a lesson the Lord has definitely taught me this year and last year. To obey him when no one even show up, to be diligent and faithful despite the crickets. Testing my heart for my motives, and not being moved by the numbers…..well because in fact many a times there were no numbers lol. It became so bad that a good friend of mine changed her ring tone to a “crickets chirp” to poke fun of the interesting season Jesus had  me in lol. Its definitely funny now and how I am so grateful for the lesson he taught me in that but, it was painful them. Many times feeling rejected, not valued, even not worthy and of course how the enemy of my soul would whisper suggestions of giving up, doubt, insecurities and even fears to stop me from pursuing what God told me to do. How easy is it for us to trust, followers, likes, people opinions or filled seats with our worth….Jesus didn’t so neither should we.

John 2:24
But Jesus did not trust them because He knew all men.  He did not need anyone to tell Him about man. He knew what was in man.

 

You see earlier last year the Lord told me to began a fellowship at my apartment and I invited quite a few people but got only about two responses. So as the time got closer I decided to cancel it to my surprise many text stating they were planning and immediately the Holy spirit  said “when two or three are gathered in my name I am in the midst”. I felt so convicted I had canceled because the majority wasn’t coming but discounted the two that where and forgetting they were just enough for Jesus that’s all he needs! (hand slap to the forehead), I asked the Lord to forgive me and told him if no one showed up would still do it because if all else fails him and all the heavenly host will be there. So attempted again the following week. This time all I got was “crickets”  no one showed up. To be honest I was devastated it was such a vulnerable season in my life and I was feeling so insecure. I remember continuing with the fellowship just me and Jesus,  my heart was heavy in worship the Lord spoke again and said ” I want to know if you will be faithful are you doing this for me or for them?” I broke down crying telling the Lord its all about him and continued with the fellowship weekly
Lesson Learned Faithfulness

Luke 16:10
If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.

Then the Lord spoke to me again telling me to do a youtube channel to teach all that he is teaching me . I fought with this idea first thinking “who me” but what do I have to teach, I mean who am I Jesus…..of course that’s the best position to be in because in our weakness his strengths pour through us! So I began the youtube channel this year thinking , who is really going to watch this. I would post on fb tag family and friends in hopes they would share or support all I got was “crickets”. Of course there were times where I would get only a few views and I found myself fighting the feeling of discouragement but told myself this is Gods channel not mine so I have to be obedient and continued. As subscribers started to come I found myself continuing to focus on the numbers and comparing myself with other channels. Which can be so dangerous because you lose sight of Jesus and began to look at others. So about 4 months ago my youtube account became disabled I immediately thought it was he enemy attacking the channel but during prayer the Lord said it was him because of my pride. I was like ouch! Wow, so humbly asked for forgiveness and the channel is still disabled however the interesting thing is its grown to over 100 subscribers in these few months and now have over 650 with no new videos. The Lord reminded me that’s its all his work on not mine, “Its not about you Nana” can I say humbling.
Lessoned Learned Humility & Obedience

Then the Lord spoke to me again to began a praying meeting at my job. I was so excited me and some friends go together blessed the room and began to advertise by sending out emails and word of mouth. Initially one or two would come then some weeks when no one would show up “crickets”. There were weeks where I didn’t want to go or I would show up late thinking no one is going to come anyway. Once again I fighting the feeling of discouragement and the Lord reminded me to be faithful and of course He and the heavenly host were there lol. So I would go in the room and pray by myself soon it started it growing and a consistent number of ppl would come and upon leaving the job its still going! Wow,  again I was reminded its Not about me lol and of course the-
Lessoned Learned Is Perseverance

Then finally the Lord spoke to me to began writing these blogs. Honestly I used to hate writing so looking back on these blogs and seeing Gods fingerprints all on this amazes me. However, I remember me and my friend started blogging at the same time. We both knew God spoke to us about it but no one was reading these blogs lol. I would have one viewer maybe 1 follower in 3 months. We would laugh and look at each other and say “crickets” lol but the Lord kept reminded us just write be obedient to write a blog a week. She said her son told her “write they will come” I love that because that’s what faith is. Hoping for what you don’t see putting our faith in Gods word spoken to us and not to give up. So we have continued to write and I am amazed at what God has done!
Lessoned Learned Is Diligence

Most recently the Lord spoke to me to began a bible study over the phone after losing my job. Of course began to have the same rebuttals, wait, whaaa, Lord me, Jesus is this you or just my mind lol but he confirmed. For about a week had to fight off insecurities again because this is opening myself to people I don’t know and plus who would call in LOL There I go again limiting God. So I began the hourly conference line and behold would have 7 to9 callers each day from different part of the country calling in desiring to know God. I was flabbergasted , there was a day when I was 15 minutes into the call and no one called in. I was tempted to just hang up but the Holy Spirit reminded me again of all the times Gods faithfulness even when no one showed up lol. So I told myself you made a commitment with God to do for an hour so will leave it on for an hour, can I tell you that day was the day of the most callers and even a new caller! lol There are times where only one caller has called and the Lord has reminded me that he can care less of the numbers its jus to touch one. So me, that person and Jesus with all the heavenly host have bible study! lol
Lessoned Learned is Trust & Gods Strength

 

Matthew 18:12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?

 

Now he has spoken to my heart to turn the personal fellowship and extend it by leading a coed a small group for the  young adults ministry in our church and the Nana of old would be so insecure, frightened, doubtful and concerned with people not showing up. However, because of these past lessons I now know:

  • To be obedient
  • Trust God more
  • Its not about me, its all by his strength
  • To do everything  I do unto the Lord
  • To continue to be faithful
  • Its not about the numbers, one person is so invaluable
  • Its not about what people say about it
  • It is indeed Gods work that he does through me

 

How many times do we allow followers, likes, peoples opinions to be the measure of the worth, validation our work or even Gods call upon our lives? Trust God and be obedient to  all that  he ask you to do because its all about that ONE person, one blog post, one video, one bible study meeting, one prayer meeting that God will use to touch many!

-From Jesus with Love

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

man_helping_woman_neighbor

” Love your neighbor as yourself” this phrase has been ringing through my mind by the Holy Spirit during prayer and evermore so his season. The Lord has been really teaching me  and challenging me on brother love. If anyone were to ask you do you love Jesus? Most of us would say “yes of course I love God no doubt about it” but, if you love God do you love people, do you love those he has placed right next to you. Do you love your neighbor as yourself? That is one of the many challenges the Lord has brought to my attention as I would say many times through out the day in my heart, during worship and prayer Jesus I love you and he immediately spoke to me and said “then feed my sheep”. At first I was a little surprised when he speaks so clear and directly hence the blog, youtube channel and the bible study he has me now leading. Then the second challenge which was a few weeks ago as I said again to my beloved bridegroom (sighing affectionately) “Jesus I love you”  and he said “if you love me then love your neighbor as yourself”. Again I was like well, okay…okay (check, dang Holy Spirit) as the Holy spirit reminded how I strongly desired to do mission work, to travel and tell people about Jesus but, have I even gotten an opportunity to know my own neighbors, talk to them share Christ with them?  Lets be honest how many of us  proclaim to love Jesus but don’t really like people lol So may this blog challenge you today especially this holiday to love your neighbor as yourself.

Matthew 22:34-40
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

So the Lord put it on my heart to knock on each of my neighbors doors and tell them that Jesus loves them and if they needed prayer for anything. The funny thing is for a girl that witnesses all the time to strangers this was terrifying lol I can talk to people I might not see again but to speak to my neighbors on all four floors in apartment complex I just couldn’t muster the courage, I know sad. I asked my brothers in Christ to go with me but they didn’t seem down (sidenote don’t ever look for others to go with you when God is asking you to be obedient to him. Listen and obey). So you can guess I didn’t listen and of course the Lord chastised me in prayer that week and had to repent for disobedience as he gave me the rhema

“Give an example of blind generous obedience or you will scandalized those I have called you to be an example of”

I was called to be an example of obedience and brotherly love to my brothers in Christ. As believers we are all called to be example of Christ in all that we do, you never know who is watching or better yet who the Lord wants to impact by your willingness to obey and perform generous acts of kindness. So as I came before the Lord he gave me another idea this week to get gifts for each of my neighbors and present it to them for Christmas. Which I will be doing today! So what does that mean to love your neighbor as yourself. It means too treat people like you would yourself, to talk to them as you would talk to yourself, to clean after them as you would yourself, to help them as you would help yourself, to love them as you love yourself. Despite the way they treat you, talk to you, approach you, react towards you, say to you, intentions towards you, unbeliever or not or  You just love people and allow God to do the rest. I love this scripture because you cant say you know God and not love! haha

So below are some ideas and most I have done btw 🙂 the Lord gave me to be love our neighbors:

  • Take out your neighbors trash-especially if you live in apartment complex you see your neighbors trash outside their door, don’t ask just take it out for them 🙂
  • Pay for someone’s meal  who is behind you or in front of you in line or a drive thru, or a restaurant
  • Buy plenty of holiday cards, write personal encouraging notes in them ( I call them love note and hand it to random people)
  • Put loves notes on peoples windshield
  • Pray for someone whiles your Christmas shopping . People are in desperate need of encouragement, hope and love this holidays that is the cheapest and most rewarding thing to do!
  • Give your neighbors gift for Christmas could be cards, candy canes, cookies etc
  • Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while let them know they were on your mind and how you could pray for them…that just came to me lol I love it and will do it on Christmas!!
  • When grocery shopping bless someone with a prayer
  • Give generously to those in need homeless and without food
  • Tip nice for the waiters this holiday if you go out to eat then pray with them!

 

1 John 4;38
The person who doesn’t love does not know God, because God is love.

love-your-neighbor

 

Wow powerful scripture, powerful truth. So who is it that your not loving or liking so much this holiday and is that showing a reflection of Christ love in you or what’s in your heart? Furthermore, how do you see others all around you do you see them as your neighbor or a stranger? If you do simply ask the Lord to soften your heart and to have more compassion for other. Also ask him how you can love your neighbor this Christmas so you can be his hands and feet to someone who is in need of a touch of love from Jesus!

Merry Christmas and amidst all the family gathers, celebrations and festivities don’t forget to spend alone time with the one were celebrating Jesus!

 

You Were Created To Dance In The Fire

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“You were created to dance in the fire” that’s what the Lord spoke to me in my alone time this past week. He showed me a beautiful picture of me in a furnace on fire dancing around not burned, moving freely, swirling, and twirling around unmoved by the heat, the flames that consumed me because he was right there with me. Wow, I was blown away by impression form the Lord and sidenote: I love the image for this post because embodies almost what I  saw thank you Holy Spirit lol (I always ask him to help me pick out the photos he is the best!)

 So in the last blog I let you all in on the fact of the fiery trials that were going on with cars breaking down back to back, financial strains and jobs being lost left and right. Jesus was teaching me how to have a heart of thankfulness amidst my trials and suffering. Furthermore, he wanted to teach me how to dance through them by holding his hands and keeping my gaze on him only as he takes the lead in this wonderful dance. Not only to endure through them but to count it all joy knowing that our faith will be rewarded.  As a believer you can experience fire from two different places the fire of the Lord and Fiery arrows of the enemy. The word of God states the Lord is a consuming fire (Hebrew 12:29) wow, that’s the God that we serve. For unbeliever that should leave them shaken for his consuming fire comes upon the unrighteous as a consuming wrath. However, for a believer He consumes us with his love, his glory, his anointing, his power and how is it possible were able to contain it all in our weak vessels of clay called bodies its only by abiding in him. By walking with so when fiery trials come so he can teach us how to dance when the fire of God falls on us and when the enemy releases his fiery arrows at us as well! lol

There are three scriptures that came to my mind. The first was Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego this was a perfect example of what it looked like to dance in the fire with Jesus because these guys were literally in a fire. I can imagine what that day was like they all were facing what looked like death because they were uncompromising serving the one and only true God. If they wouldn’t bow to the statue of the King they would be thrown in the fire. How many times have you been in a situation where you had to make the right decision that would cost you, maybe even cost you your life? Did you have faith to trust God in that moment were you full of fear, anxiety, worry and doubt? I love their response to the king as they faced death with fire they said:

Daniel 3:16-18
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[c] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

Wow, that response took a great level of faith. They knew that God would defend them and deliver them. I love the fact that they said even if he doesn’t we will not lose our faith, lose our hope, we will not cower. Amazing! May we ask for that grace to have that response  when the Lord will doesn’t look like our will (They danced, I would say boogied in the fire! lol)

The second scripture the Lord brought to my mind was:

1 Peter 4:12-13

Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. 13 Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.

This scripture talks about the sufferings, trials we go through as believers sometimes our trials aren’t based on a decision that we made or any open doors but these are our crosses to bare, our sufferings that we can offer to the Lord. They allow us to grow in virtue. Have you ever found yourself in a situation that seems overwhelming, burdensome or even painful and you immediately go into thinking its the enemy. There he goes that sly little devil and you start praying, binding, rebuking and the Lord says “stop its me. I am allowing this for my glory, for you to grow in your faith, and for you to trust me”. Lol Those are the times you have to cling to him and his promises all that the more.  Will you trust him when your rent cant be paid, when people speaking against you, when you have no way around, when you have nothing to eat, when they say you cant have a child, when the Dr. gives you a bad health report, when you have no money for the holidays, will you dance in the fire with him?

James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

 

The third scripture was:

Ephesians 6:16
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

As a believer sometimes we forget we are in an on going spiritual battle that is very real. Ether you are a soldier in the army or your being help captive there is no middle ground in this fight. When you come to know Jesus Christ you are now a captive that has been set free and the enemy knows that very well. He will try to do whatever he can to make you feel defeated, discouraged, and ultimately held captive by him again. We know our adversary Satan and his demons are very real. They will stop and don’t stop at nothing to attempt to make our lives miserable on this earth. The Lord tells us not to be ignorant of the schemes and wiles of the devil for he is very cunning (2 Corinthians 2:11). With fiery arrows they shoot with anger, division, lies, joyously, condemnation, doubt, fear, death just to name a few. So you can find your self in a fiery situation that was caused by the enemy of our soul to lose hope, to lose trust and ultimately lose faith in the Lord.  Job was a perfect example of a righteous man who went through a fiery trial immediately all of his friends and everyone around starting believing he had to have done something bad for all these things to happen to him. He had to have sinned however, the Lord came to his defense even before the trial began as he spoke to Satan of how righteousness his servant was and offered him to Satan to be tested (Job 1:8) Say whaaaaa, yes God offered Jobs name to be tested. Makes you wonder when you go through fiery trials has God offered your name to be tested. Can He say “look at my son/daughter they are righteous and love me so much that no arrow of yours will stop them from trusting, believing or having faith in me”? You see even in the enemies fire that’s when we dance all that the more, we move with grace, compassion, understanding, longsuffering and patience. As we cling too, hold on too the one we love the most Jesus! Going completely unscathed, no burns, or singes because he is right in the fire with us. Fighting our battle, as he leads my feet in this dance of fire to trample on the enemy!

 Job 42:10
After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.

God restored Job completely and multiplied even all that he had before. Truly our God waste no trials, no suffering, no inconvenience, no hardship or heartache and when we trust him he restores all that was lost. So will you grab the hand of Jesus and allow him to lead you through the difficult times in your life. Will you stay in a heart of thanksgiving and praise so you become so overcome with his joy that your mourning turns into dancing. That all though your situation hasn’t changed because your gaze is fixed on him you began to dance in the fire with him!  Will you trust him?……Now DANCE!

 

 

Trails Of Faithfulness

lonely-girl-walking-on-road

My birthday was on the 10th of this month and which caused me to sit back and reflect on where I am now and where I used to be. I can honestly say this  was a difficult day so many arrows from the enemy telling me nothing has changed and feeling of no accomplishments. I had many people write beautiful messages on my Facebook wall and even text me but no phone calls besides family and If I can be honest I felt so alone, I thought man my Facebook page is looking like my memorial page LOL but I’m not dead yet sheesh people could just call me and tell me those nice things would’ve appreciate it so much more. You know as I am typing this I realize goodness that’s how we treat God sometimes, many know about him by quoting scriptures all day, going to church, posting bible versus, talking about Him,  and even preach about Him but how many spend time with Him. I can imagine He feels the same way sometimes. Saying  “man these people are always talking about me but their hearts are so far from me as He too feels alone, waiting and desiring them to come to him, KNOW him, spend time with him talking too Him and loving Him. (This is so the Holy Spirit by the way so no the direction of the blog but I love it he gave me that revelation as I am typing, Haha love Him!)

So since losing my job and being at home it has honestly been a struggle daily and my birthday was no different I had to tell myself “Nana get out of self pity don’t you see the Lord has done amazing things in you life don’t let what you see influence what you know” One lie I had believed was ” This is the story of my life motto” I would say it all the time in my heart when patterns in my life showed itself but during a Kairos session at my church the Lord revealed I had believed that lie, that’s exactly what it was a lie! The Lord spoke to my heart and spoke this truth instead:

Hebrews 12:2  I AM the author and finisher of your faith

I thought wow Lord, so true, you are right! My story is not written based on my experiences, my opinions or circumstances you do. Thank you Jesus! We can all take comfort in that if you are in a season which seems uncomfortable and your becoming the slightest bit hopeless or discouraged know that God is complete control he is not surprised by where you are, what has happened and where your going trust him to lead in all things knowing that he indeed works ALL things for his glory!

Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

The Lord told me to lay my business, clothing line and jewelry line down to follow him. So the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to go through my old journals that chronicled my 2 1/2 years of walking with the Lord.  To go back and see the many answered prayers, the many promises and how clearly the Lord has been speaking to me. To truly see his trail of faithfulness in my life because that’s what the enemy was attacking my faith to believe that God is indeed faithful. So I did just that and below I wanted to share  the many altars of Gods faithfulness in my life.

Journal Entries:
Sept 24,2014
You spoke to my heart that your preparing me for something not sure what, you told me that “Sometimes you don’t give us the blessing because we don’t have the capacity or character to handle it”

Sep 27, 2014

The Lord gave me a dream which I believe he is saying that he has called me into ministry of the Gospel and has given me a grace of leadership, I’m in the preparation process and that the enemy is after my prayer life. God has given me a gift of discernment & intercession setting me apart to be victorious in prayer ….my thoughts, really?!!!! Lord me

October 6, 2014

During small group as we prayed for my sister with a complicated pregnancy the Lord revealed to a sister in Christ  a picture of flowing water. Not knowing my sister had no water in her belly and her baby was in danger of death the Lord declared he would provide the water to sustain that child

October 15, 2014

I told the Lord that ” I would be bold for him and take the Love of God and be a world changer” after hearing Pastor Ravi Zacharias speak.

November 4, 2014

I asked the Lord to reveal if my sister should began her poetry book and he gave me a dream that night directing me that it wasn’t the right time

November 21, 2014

Prayed for a close friend who needed a breakthrough and she  got a job that same week

December 2, 2014

Had intense spiritual attack of lust/perversion and after pressing in for a week the Lord gave me the victory

December 11,2014

The Lord finally gave me direction on my calling by admonishing me saying ” If you don’t know my ways and they are not implanted in your hearts how can you then walk in your assignment” (shut me up) lol

December 22, 2014 (fulfilled prophecy)

A brother in Christ calls me with a prophetic word that people are drawn to me because of Christ . That my walk will be very uncomfortable but I should walk by faith and that many will come to know Christ through me. Also that their would be loved ones who would distant themselves from me but I shouldn’t be sad God would restore our relationship.

January 28,2015
The Lord reveals in a  dream that my brother would be released sooner than later…(and he was)

February 27, 2015
I asked the Holy Spirit to teach me how to pray

April, 15, 2015

I met my sisters new boyfriend and prayed right then if he was meant to be with my sister to stay for bible study and if not for him to leave. (Not only did he stay but he surrendered his life and now getting married next year!)

April 22, 2015

The Lord spoke to move out of my moms house and finally got approved for my own apartment!

June 05, 2015

The Lord put it on my heart to began a fellowship meeting at my house despite fears and insecurities. (has grown and do it everyday Friday)

February 11,2015
The Lord confirmed that he wanted me to start a blog and youtube channel despite fears and insecurities. ( hence writing today  with 22 blogs and 640 subscribers later….God is amazing!)

January 18, 2015

In he midst of deep hurt and betrayal He spoke ” I am transforming you and your family”

November 27, 2015
Prayed for divine friendships and relationship that go deep ( he has answered that!)

December 8, 2015

Gave me the idea to extend our Date Night with Jesus event and take it outside to the Homeless. ( by his grace were doing that this month will be our fourth time!…he is faithful)

Romans 8: 28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

I had stop because I couldn’t write all his promises on this blog! LOL Wow, reading all of these going down in memory lane made me smile. My God is indeed faithful when you are in the midst of a trials, test or suffering the enemy of your soul would love for you to focus on your present situation and forgot all that God has said and done but truly Gods word does not return void. If he said it he will do it!! Thinking of the many times I wrote down my thoughts not realizing it was actually Jesus speaking and now looking back realizing that it was indeed him! That  truly is a different type of joy I get knowing that I hear the voice of God 🙂 How I thank him for such a wonderful grace! So what promise are you going to revive or cling too one again? Know that God is indeed faithful as you continue to Trust him, Follow his lead in blind obedience you will be able to look back and be in awe at what he does in you life!

 

 

I Am A Little Pencil In The Hand Of God

 

pencil2

This term was coined by Mother Teresa and she went on to say that  ” I am little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world” and was given to me by a friend recently. Oh, what a truthful and beautiful statement this is for us all, well that’s if we allow it to be. We are all created with a story in mind by the hand of the creator however many times we want to dictate where our lines are drawn or better yet write our own stories. Many of us want to used by God but are not willing to let go of complete control and allow him  to write HIS story through us because that’s what our lives are…..HIS story told through our tears, pain, suffering, trials, celebrations, disappointments, test & achievements to guide stories. Just as the bible is written and inspired by the Holy spirit through many different accounts of Christ disciples so will the story of our lives. It should ad on to the testimony of Jesus Christ who he is and how he uses the lowliest of vessels to bring him glory. As we allow Him to write you can trust that the lines of your life will fall in pleasant places

Psalm 16:6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

However, I got the most interesting picture the Lord gave me. That we can  be can be different type of pencils which can be a little more difficult to write HIS story with. There is the graphite pencil, the mechanical pencil and wooden pencil .

grahite-pencil

Graphite Pencil-Used to for sketches for detail and to draw deep dark lines. It is it the one that stains the paper and pigments it , being able to create a trace after it, which is well-known as line. Interesting definition of a graphite pencil in the hands of God can be a person who is deep, passionate in all that do and very detailed. They draw out their lives intentionally however “its stains the paper and pigments it” so  having no eraser  they give no room for error in themselves or others. Which causes them to be critical or judgmental of others staining them with the same idea. They strive for perfection which is impossible without the hand of God because he always rewrites our plans which never look perfect. It creates traces of wrong turns, should couldas, and achievement in the persons life which continues to have them look back then looking forward to what God is doing

mechanical-pencil

Mechanical pencil-or a propelling pencil is a pencil with a replaceable and mechanically extendable solid pigment core called a “lead” /ˈlɛd/. The lead, often made of graphite, is not bonded to the outer casing, and can be mechanically extended as its point is worn away. In the hands of God can be a person who strong within their OWN strengthen and not on the Lord. They are mechanical in thinking  and solving problems, very analytical and reason before they go any further. They may follow the culture, work faster and are quick to adapt but in the Hand of God he desire for us to submitted, patient and quick to obey HIS lead. With the lead of this pencil being able to be easily broken and even run out at times. This person can be a hard worker but since its all in their strength, they burn out easily and being mechanical when they find themselves not having control and completely broken they have no where to turn too since they were relying on themselves. It causes them to be completely out of use and out of Gods will

pencil

a Simple Wooden Pencil-Most common used Pencil. In the Hands of God it is the most simple of all pencils but the beauty of this pencil is that it can become anything, carved into different shapes but still be used to perfom the same task. This pencil can be broken and still be used, it may have dull moments when the lead cannot be seen but use a pencil sharpener then the lead is yet again available for use. Just as a person who is broken so many times can be used  by God and when they find themselves with out hope or purpose they are sharpened again by the word of God or even by their brothers/sisters around them.

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another

with the eraser they are able to have God erase their mistakes from the past, redirect their direction when they turn a wrong way and create a beautiful masterpiece out of a mess. In Gods hand all things are possible as we yield to him to break us, sharpen us, and write HIS story through us because one thing ALL pencils have in common is that they are a tool to be used, within itself a pencil is useless unless someone is using it for the purpose in which it was created for. So will you let God use you to write HIS story?

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mother-teresa
The late Mother Teresa

 

I don’t think so. I don’t claim anything of the work. It’s His work. I’m like a little pencil in His hand. That’s all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do it. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used. In human terms, the success of our work should not have happened, no? That is a sign that it’s His work, and that He is using others as instruments – all our Sisters. None of us could produce this. Yet see what He has done.- Mother Teresa

 

When God Calls You To Walk On The Waves With Him

leap-of-faith

I know a lot of times we hear when God  is calling you higher that means your going deeper which is true, but a lot of times it never looks they way you envision it. You think a deeper dive in the ocean but he actually means he is calling you higher. Higher level of faith, trust, hope in him. Not only does he call you out of the boat to walk on the water but he calls you then to go deeper which requires a deeper level of trust and faith by walking on the waves with him.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.

My walk has been nothing short of interesting to say the least, just a few weeks ago I wrote a blog about contending with contentment at my job.  The job that I was finding difficult to wake up every morning to go to0, the job that I was complaining about, the job that the Lord was teaching me to be excellence, content, and faithful at……..well that job let me go last Tuesday. You would think I would be excited or relieved but it was such a shock, very unexpected. I think sometimes the Lord is thinking this girl doesn’t know what she wants, isn’t he so gracious lol! I woke up that morning excited in the wee hours of 4 am to spend time with the Lord and wonderful time it was in his presence, worship and reading the word before work. I was so full of joy that morning, now I had heard rumors of our positions being changed but not losing our jobs however, I went in that morning finding out we had a surprise meeting and they told us we were let go and to go home. I wasn’t sure what to think, if I can be honest inside I was keeping cool but on the inside I think my soul was jumping lol All these thoughts of doubt, fear, anxiety hit me..one of the lies of the enemy was telling me “see you woke up spend all that time with the Lord and he didn’t forwarn you, you don’t really hear from Jesus” that was the hardest lie I was trying to cast down.

OUT OF THE BOAT

You see, the Lord called me to lay down my life for him almost  3 years ago. I had intended on pursuing my own business I had at the time, my clothing and jewelry line and move to NY until I had a radical encounter with my beloved Jesus and it changed everything. So when he asked me  almost 3 years ago to live for him I said “of course, I will tell everyone about you and what you have done for me, my life is yours no turning back! I surrender all to you Jesus”. So when the Lord lead me to my job I thought I wouldn’t be there for long or so I thought a few months turned into a year, then the one year turned to two and I was anxious along the way but the Lord kept telling me to wait, Nana wait….

Psalm 27:14
Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

ON THE WATER

So in the midst of waiting he began to change my perspective and stir my heart for him in such a way to have my life be a witness for others. That wasn’t my intention at the job but he began to show me that I was there by assignment in the midst of me waiting.  So I started to notice the Lord giving me opportunities to share him with my coworkers, to pray and encourage and he even opened the door to began a prayer meeting at the job! Which I looked forward too and enjoyed, he began to give me words of knowledge and dreams about my coworkers to draw them closer to him! Indeed he was stirring my passion to be bold and courageous for him however, he began speaking to my heart to totally surrender and abandon myself to his will. I would get this word over and over again to the point it became frustrating because I thought I had totally surrendered, I wasn’t sure what else I needed too. I kept telling the Lord all is yours, I live a hedged life because you ask that of me, I am at this job surrendered to waiting on you because you said too what else Lord. Thinking to myself I am like peter Lord, you called me to walk on the water jump out of the boat called  “Nanas idea of her life” to follow you and I did just that not sure what else I can give…oh but was I mistaken. He wanted TOTAL SURRENDER & ABONDMENT which means whatever may come, whatever you allow Jesus I am yours. I remember when I started hat job and being around other Christians friends who were called and knew their calling I was so insecure at that time and doubtful because I didn’t know mine so I went on lunch break crying out to the Lord to show me my calling please just show me and he said:

“I cant show you I have to lead you”

WALKING ON THE WAVES

So now he has lead me out the boat, on the water now even higher to walking on the wave. Losing my job caused my eyes to be fixed on the storm rather than on Jesus gaze and his hands that have been right in front of me. I knew the next step from this job would be walking into my purpose and that’s why I was so anxious to leave because I thought I was ready. But we know God is very funny and he will always give you what you ask for just not the way you want it lol That’s exactly what he has done, he has called me higher and deeper in him, not to stop walking on the water called faith, not to go back to the boat called comfortability by getting another job, no he has called me to continue to grab his hand, gaze in his eyes and trust him as he guides me step by step to walk above the storm and to walk on the waves. I have learned that that I am actually always on assignment whenever, with whoever and wherever I am at. I am a pilgrim on an journey here on this earth and that to surrender is not just a one time choice but a daily choice to say today I die that you live Jesus may I do your will and not my own. So I have been asked the question so many times what are going to do, what’s next, what are you waiting for? All I can say is that I am being led by the one who loves me the most, who created me and knows my purpose and is threading this beautiful tapestry of grace called my life and only he knows the finished work. As he is building my trust in him in a deeper way, growing a greater level of faith in me and sanctifying me for his use. Of course he has me waiting again for the next direction. As I sit at his feet I find myself wondering what he is up too slightly anxious if I can be honest but excited about this crazy adventure that I get to do with my forever life partner, leader and guide Jesus!