Overconfidence and The Power of The Sign of the Cross

journal entry from april 10, 2020

Hey Family,

We here in the community are tucking in with the Lord this holy week in preparation for Easter.

Well we had an interesting incident occur 2 days ago would you believe we had a fire. So here in the community many times we are unable to take the trash down into town so we have an open space in the meadow where we burn our trash. Two of my brothers are the ones who take care of them and it happens about every other day. However, on this particular day it was very windy not only that he threw quite of bit of styrofoam installation in the trash pile. That was a no go, because we were unaware how flammable and how the degree from the installation carries over but oh boy now do we know. 

It was in the morning and I usually go up on the mountain ridge to pray and do the Lords supper. However,  for some reason I felt led to stay close to the house and pray right behind the sheep pen in the meadow. I now realize that was the Lord, because as I was praying I began to see a lot of smoke and that was a bit unusual to me. As we have burned trash before but never was the smoke so black and so much. However, I continued to pray as the smoke died down I thought everything was okay then I caught with the glimpse of my eye the fire had reached the grass by the sheep pen which I was behind and it was just a few feet away from the forest trees. I immeaditley got up and tried to radio for my brother Adam  who started the fire to no avail. However, another brother Freddy was in the house and I called to him that there was a fire and I wasn’t sure what to do. He said “Get water” lol. So I rushed and pulled the gallons of water we had next to the house near the sheep pen. He grabbed the water huge water jug and began to pour it on the areas of the grass where there was fire still going. On the remainder he just stepped on it with his shoes and we poured the water on the corner of the sheep pen where it was smoking. Wheew it was a close call thinking the fire was dead but we were wrong. As he went away and I sat down again I saw no flames inside the sheep pen roaring. I immediately jumped up this time and thought of St. Francis, how he would always do the sign of the cross in any situation. One time was about to have a surgical procedure where they had to use a flame to sterile the area. He commanded “brother flame” as he called all of Gods creation his brothers or sisters because they too were created by God, to not burn him and sure enough. He felt no pain when the flame touched his body. The fire had yielded to his command. So I then did the sign of the cross over the flames that were now roaring out of the roof of the sheep pan and commanding the flames to cease. I then asked the Holy Angels to please assist us in killing this fire. Then I ran to get my brothers again and just then two more of my brothers showed up as we raced against time to now kill this roaring fire before it spread. It took about 10 minutes, 2 more huge jugs of water to kill the fire completely in the shed.  

Once we were all done I went to go sit back down with the Lord in adoration as all these thoughts came to my mind. As I said to him 

Oh my goodness Lord, just witnessed a possible forest fire could’ve turned really bad but I thank you so much for your mercy and great compassion towards us that you allowed me to see that to call for help. I couldn’t help but think Lord this indeed a prophetic sign that you are speaking to us here in the community and also to affirm the word you gave about the Forest fires coming

Jesus is there anything on your heart?

Jesus began,

My beloved ones yes, I am here and this was a stark reminder and warning for over confidence. As I mentioned in the Lords supper yesterday

(as an aside here he was referring to the second reading he gave us during the Lords Supper we did together as a group the night before it was  1 Corinthians 10:1-12

“ For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers and sisters that our ancestors were all under the club and that they all passed through the sea. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ. Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered in the wildness. Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from seeing our hearts on evil t things as they did. and do not grumble as some of them did and were killed by the destroying angle. These things happened to  them as examples and were written down as warning for us on whole the culmination of the ages has come. So if you think you are standing firm, be careful lest you fall.” 

I remember telling them all. Oh uh guys the Lord is telling us to watch out for pride there is a test of pride coming so we need to be careful not to grumble or complain or be overconfident in anything and sure enough the next day he allowed this.)

Jesus continued,

“I am calling you all to be more mindful not just of your thoughts, and attitude of heart but your as actions as well. Mother Clare was right to say that overconfidence causes you to do thing more in haste which causes error and can be detrimental for the community. I know you know a thing or two about, that why I want you to really adhere to Mother and Father wisdom and council. You will be sent out soon but, you too must be mindful of the small details little one. Truly some of the smallest decision can be life or death for those who I have called you to be care taker over beloved do you understand?” 

Me: Yes Lord I do please help me I can definitely be absent minded

Jesus continued

“Absent minded means to have your mind absent in the moment and yes beloved I love how you are always thinking of me but I am with you and with your mind truly on me I will keep it in the moment. So that you continue to stay diligent alert in the moment and doing all your actions even the smallest detail with love.”

Me: Okay Lord thank you so much please help us all here in the community to me more mindful 

Jesus responded,

“I am doing that even now and this was indeed to affirm the message I have given you beloved. Please when I give you a word and you confirm its from me get to work beloved. I desire my people to hear the word now beloved this calamity is knocking at their door and my desire is that they would prepared and ready. You were right to first pray and make the sign of the cross indeed even fire which I created bows down to me beloved. My people, prayer and the sign of the cross with all sincerity and intention is powerful. You are provoking the God head, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit all that we are to your circumstance or situation. That is why many saints used the sign of the cross to cause creatures, people, circumstances, demons and element to submit to my will. So as you see these forest fires come about and they are very near to you my people began to pray. Use the sign of the cross to bless your house, to bless your community, to bless your forest area Iands and I promise you I will leave you unharmed or untouched. Use the sign of the cross where the forest is blazing and I will send my angels to come and assist too tame the fires down . So now I am given you insight to the authority, grace and anointing I have given you my people to use in order to bring my glory forth and to show case my mercy. Please adhere to these words my little ones, my beloved one I am with you all.”

Thank you Lord!

-From Jesus with Love

Swimming In the Ocean Of Gods Mercy

ocean

 

Isaiah 30:18

So the Lord wants to show you kindness. He waits on high to have loving-pity on you. For the Lord is a God of what is right and fair. And god will come to all those who hope in Him

The Lord just gave me this scripture after falling again…(sigh) just right after I got out of prayer with him and gave me scriptures on Obedience. I was telling the Lord man you are humbling me I cant seem to go an hour without a fall Lord . So instead of running from him I ran to him and received Mercy. Oh how kind and sweet our God is indeed if we just run to him.  I have been asking the Lord to humble me and he has indeed doing that where he is really revealing all my hidden sins and struggles which causes me not to even think to judge others or walk in pride because I see how weak I am and indeed of his mercy so that i may give others mercy as well.

Luke 6:36
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

This past week I have found myself falling in every way and every day in faultfinding, quick tempered, impatient and even gossip under the guise of “lets pray for them” lol You know we have all been there and done that which is an offense before the Lord. You see I prayed for the lord to purify my heart and he has been doing just that where I am able to feel it…yes I feel heat on my back and pain in my body when I have fallen which is a grace and a gift he allows. Which I believe he has given to many of his other brides to keep us spiritually healthy and in check. It causes me to run to him immediately with this wonderful (trying not to be sarcastic here…Lord forgive me) answered pray the Lord has given me. I found myself being taunted by the enemy that it seemed I couldn’t do anything right, I began to feel so down and discouraged almost to the point of hopelessness. However, after having a conversation with a friend she reminded me that it was great the Lord has really called me to purity and I am always willing to confess even the littlest offenses to others which gives her room to d the same but it seems like I dwell there. That I didn’t need to dwell there, yes I had fallen but the Lord had already made a way for all my sins, so confess , repent and move forward. I am not sure why something clicked in that moment and decided I wouldn’t allow the enemy to continue to use my faults against me any longer

 

In prayer the Lord showed me the most beautiful image of me just swimming, more like floating in this beautiful crystal clear pristine VAST ocean as the sun was kissing my face. I was in pure joy and the Holy spirit said ” You are swimming in the ocean of Gods mercy”. Many times the enemy will use our faults against us especially those the Lord has called to intimacy because we so want to please him in everything we do and can be devastated when we sin against him but, the Lord was reminded me of his mercy.

Mercy:

noun
 1.compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.

power to punish or harm.

Somewhere along the way I had taken my eyes of Jesus and so much on my weakness that I have forgotten He always makes a way available for us all and that is his mercy. The Ocean of Gods mercy is endless, never ending, so peaceful, so filled with love and readily available for all those who humble themselves and boldly come before their Fathers throne to receive it. I am definitely in a season of swimming in the Ocean of Gods Mercy as I continue to be tested tried, fall, repent receive mercy to be tested again. If it wasnt for his mercy I am not sure where I would be….well maybe I do lol Jesus is so tender is so patience in the midst of this that I felt him say in my heart yesterday “its okay, tomorrow is another day just try to do better tomorrow” just to fall again….

Image result for hand slap to the face emoji

 

What does Jesus have to say….”Beloved, its okay tomorrow is another day try to do better tomorrow walk in obedience to my every word and you will have peace as you continue to swim in the Ocean of my mercy, I love you my dove, oh how I love you. Don’t be discouraged by your weakness but continue to boast in them as you bring them before me so I can strengthen you with more graces”. So if you find yourself struggling with your weaknesses and sin before Lord don’t run away from him but jump, jump, JUMP into the Ocean of his mercy which is readily available for you, He loves you!

-From Jesus with Love

When The Lord Allows A Fall…..A Hard One

fall-into-him

 

Wheew, I cant describe how these past few week have been….very painful for starters. I found myself with my peace completely gone, anxious, fearful, hopeless, pride, confusion and in continuous doubt and unbelief. None of these are the fruits of the spirit by the way  which is Galatians 5:23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”. I knew that I was under attack, I knew that I was being sifted by the enemy but I didn’t know I was under correction until after a few days of humbling myself in Gods presence he gave me:

Proverbs 3:11 -12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in.[a]

 

Ouch! I had fallen and fallen hard. The Lord reveled to me it was because of me speaking against his servants, other Christians and even ministers. At first I objected (do you see how much pride I have slap to the face) As if God is not all knowing but I really had to examine my heart. I truly try to make a conscious decision not to entertain gossip or speaking against people. However, the Lord showed me these past few weeks many instances happened which looked a certain way and because it looked so clear to me I then began to cast judgment on others, become accusatory, critical, and suspicious of motives. We all know only the Lord can judge the motives and because I was repeating these things to others I made it even worse by spreading this poison which seemed so valid to me. I also had judged people in my heart and reacted out of my flesh many times getting defensive, combative thinking they were in the wrong.

Now many Christians today don’t believe that God being so good can allow bad things to happen to us. However, this scripture above explains it all when we walk in sin the Lord protection is removed and he will allow the enemy to sift us which in turns brings us back running to his feet. Its a chastening alright a painful one, but a lesson I promise you will never forget. Not only that but,  you will learn from so that you may be able to help others.

So I didn’t realize it but my soul, my heart was in a mess. I no longer stood in purity before the Lord even if others couldn’t notice it. I had no idea how far I had wandered off from the Lord and recognizing how suttle Satan had been in his snares he had set up for me. He used old memories to replay in my mind that looked just like the circumstance I was in so I automatically judged people assuming  the motives where the same as my old memories. They had to be right, the old memories and my situation looked so parallel and familiar. However I discerned out of my fear rather than seeking the Lord to see his perspective and found out the real motives.

Pslam 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Man that is exactly what Jesus did and I  failed and fell hard but in the kingdom every failure is an amazing lesson. If you humble yourself and yield to be made willing to the Lord will. He will restore you , heal you and strengthen you. So I am now undergoing a healing and deliverance process. Where the Lord is uprooting many things in my heart like bitterness, self righteous spirit, fear, insecurity, jealousy, root of rejection, and anxiety. So that I may be whole again walking in true freedom and purity of heart before him an others. I am not ashamed to say I have sinned against God and my brethren but I love that where sin abounds Gods grace abounds even more. In his wonderful mercy he saved me by allowing a fall to bring me to my face at his feet. Where he has been there to comfort, correct and teach me his ways again like a child I am.
So if you find yourself in the same feelings ask youself have you offended God in anyway. Search your heart and quietly examine it then come before the Lord in repentance. He is there to bind and heal your wounds too. Be encouraged!

-From Jesus With Love

 

But all of you My Children must learn to fall gracefully and get up graciously restored by My forgiveness and by the way My antidote for your error. Do not be afraid to look at a situation and say, “I made a mistake.” Because when you get up you will be that much more informed and skillful in the ways of discernment. There can be no growth without error. A soul must have the freedom to make a mistake and be fully reinstated. A soul cannot grow if they avoid the possibility of making an error. I want you all to grow in discernment, that’s why I make it so easy for Clare to recover herself after an error. I want you to be free to blow it without loosing anything in My eyes. If your eyes are on men, you will not want to admit a failure…because you know what men do to people who aren’t perfect. They expose and tare them down.

-Jesus
(from Still Small Voice Youtube Channel message: A Bruised Reed He Will Not Break)

Kenya Mission Trip, Nothing I Expected But Everything I Needed!

 

 

 

 

 

REPENTANCE
“I am going to convict you of your motives this coming week. I am
going to expose attitudes and habits that have hindered you and
prevented you from becoming who you truly are in Me. Some things
may come as a shock to you, when you see why you really do what you
do.
“But this is for your own good. This is to remove more spots from
your wedding gown. This is to bring you to repentance. And if any
think more highly of themselves than they do of others, well, you will
discover just how lowly you are. This is a good thing. For truly I lift up
the humble but decrease the stature of the proud.” – (Rhema Book by Clare Du Bois)

Welp, that sums up my trip pretty much LOL. Truly the Lord sent me all the way to Kenya to do a work in my heart, to think I was going to minister to people but, He used this trip to minister to me. So with that said my Kenya Mission trip was not what I expected and everything I needed. It truly superseded my expectations because it was God’s expectation and his perfect plan and will the whole time!

If I would’ve been honest with myself going to Kenya I had many expectation because the Lord had indeed redirected my attention to this mission trip when it was the last thing on my mind. I had been given a dream from him about 6 months ago where I was in Kenya putting on an event and sharing the gospel with the local village ladies. So I knew sometime in the near future I would be going to Kenya just not now. So upon leaving for the next 10 days I thought I was going to Kenya to make a divine connection in order to put this future event together among many expectations of seeing the blind eyes open, captives set free, miracles, signs and wonders! LOL Oh how I am still learning what true ministry is, just every day loving and serving people.

So I found myself stepping unto Kenyan soil and it felt like home for me. I knew this is exactly where the Lord wants me to be at that very moment. We had gone with the main itinerary  to assist and serve for a 4 days Pastors Conference held at CMM. Whereby over 400 pastors from Kenya and Uganda come to be refreshed, renewed, & equipped for their ministries. Once arriving I realized a life of a missionary isn’t always exciting or followed with signs, wonders and miracles but, I found God’s delight in the lowliest of thing. In sweeping, cleaning, serving, washing dishes, praying for people and just merely serving that brought God glory.

The Negative Motive & Attitudes in My heart the Lord showed me through out the week I had to repent for:

    1. Resisting submission to authority
    2. Seeking approval and affirmation from man
    3. Complaining & ungratefulness
    4. Self- righteous attitudes
    5. Pride
    6. Discontentment
    7. Result based motives
    8. Selfish desires
    9. Critical/ judgmental thoughts

Therefore you can see why the Lord began to reveal these issues in m y heart, its so true the saying the Lord heals in layers. Many of these attitudes I thought I was free from but he showed me how I was resisting authority in my heart as everything I felt the Lord telling me to do was shut down as a precaution being a different country, how I was still seeking mans approval to affirm Gods call upon me and being turned down felt like rejection, how I than began to complain instead of being grateful for the opportunity to serve, how quickly it turned to pride/self righteous/ attitude thinking highly of myself, which led to selfish desires of wanting to be used by God in a “big” way, then eventually turning into critical and judgmental thoughts towards others….sheeesh Did I ever tell you how much of a hotmess I am lol but, its okay because as the Lord once said to me ” I am HIS hotmess” haha and how He loves me just the same. What a merciful, gracious and patience God we serve. So if the Lord can still use me, train me, and love me as I am that what makes you think he cant do that for you my friend! I love Jesus

The week before I left for Kenya the Lord gave me two Rhemas the first was to “seek the lowliest place in everything” and the second was “To be servant of all and least of all”. That is exactly what I learned on this trip that a leader is only as good as how they follow and indeed the lowliest place is the best place to be. It means to seek positions, service in places no one else wants to do or go. To also exalt others and their ministries above your own. I found myself immediately praying for my team members, seeing their virtue and value in the group. I began to have so much joy in serving, helping, cleaning and doing whatever I was asked to do. There was sooo much that happened in Kenya that it couldn’t fit in one post, that’s what Youtube is for 🙂 but, the greatest of it all is that the Lord did a work in my heart and that of all my team member’s in the most amazing way. He removed our mask, revealed our hearts to each other than unified us. To serve people, intercede for Kenya and to sow seeds of his love wherever we went!

THE BEST KENYA MISSION TEAM EVER!!
R-L top to bottom
Samuel, Ben, Pastor Aaron, Alex
Daisy, Lesley, Monica, Melissa, Rachel
ME(Nana) Cindy, Kelly, Rebecca, Jenny

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-From Jesus With Love