My Valentines Letter To Jesus….My Marriage Vows

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I know valentines day has passed but wanted to share a sweet moment that I had that day. 3 years ago began my covenant relationship with Jesus I didn’t know what true love was until I surrendered my desire to be loved to him. Since then he has captured my heart, my body, my mind and soul. Truly the God that we serve is so gentle, so tender, so loving, so gracious, so good, so funny, so faithful, and so steadfast. He indeed has become my everything. You see before surrendering to the Lord I didn’t know you could be this intimate with him, I thought he was just a distant God who watched over us, answered prayer and got upset if we did something wrong but that is so far from the truth lol. The saddest part is many people see Jesus this way because they have allowed Man, religion….and I hate to say it the Church, Christians and even pastors to show them who God is rather than looking at Jesus life to be a true reflection of the heart and nature of the one true God!

Exodus 34:1, 4-10
“A God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love

So all of this in my heart prompted me to share my relationship with two other young ladies who then decided to give themselves wholeheartedly to Jesus in a covenant relationship on Valentines day. We had our church young adults ministry and we held a short but sweet wedding ceremony. Where three of my friends bought purity rings and vowed to keep themselves for Jesus until their marriage. It was so awesome. We all had vows we wrote to Jesus and had witnesses to hold us accountable. I am now excited to do this journey with my friends and many others who are now beginning to desire intimacy with God and take their walk with Jesus seriously! These are photos of my friends below…as the Beyoncé song goes “If you like what you see put a ring on it”…well Jesus did lol!celibacy

So here go my marriage vows to the King of My heart Jesus after 3 long years of marriage lol:
 Jesus, we have been through so much together. The first two years was the most difficult I had many thoughts of doubt and even divorce at moments but, your relentless patience, love, gentleness, and faithfulness held me together. You continue to make me feel like I am the only woman in all the world that you love. You have made me stronger, better, you have encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone. You have been my anchor, my rock, and my protector when fear has set in. You have never left my side when many times I have wandered. You have never lusted for another when many times my eyes and my heart has wandered. You are indeed made just for me and I just for you. You have taught me the love and beauty in submission and seeking your wisdom in every decision as my life partner. You have comforted me in the most darkest moments. You held me together when no one else could. My tears are liquid words that you only can read and understand. You have gone before me in all things and as my rear and front guard you have hedged me finely. You are indeed the true lover of my soul. You have shown me love that surpasses anything of this world. Your presence is something I cherish may I never take it for granted. I consecrate myself to you my love on this day. I give you my body, my heart, my soul, my mind  to be fully yours. I vow to stick this out through thick and thing for all of eternity.  I vow to always make you the first person I talk to in the morning and the last at night. I vow to be your help mate, laying down my life to help you build your kingdom. To cover your mission and purpose in prayer. I vow to defend, stand up and be unashamed of you and who you are to me. I vow to share you with others because this is the only marriage you have graced to be and “open marriage”. I vow to take care of our children and family. Jesus I love you take this strong-willed, hotmess of a girl to be your bride!

Isaiah 62:5
As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.

As a believer living in this time we have the most beautiful grace to know Jesus even more intimately because we are his “Bride” that goes for you to guys 🙂 . The Church is the bride of Christ but since were individual members and our bodies are his temple we too are individual are his bride. In my season of singleness I have come to know and love Jesus as my hubby before my physical hubby comes! lol He has taught me submission, trusting in him, consecrating my body to him alone, seeking him for wisdom before I make any major decisions, helping me be a good steward of my time so we have time for each other, going on dates with him and including him in every aspect of my life. Jesus has truly been preparing me for marriage and teaching me what it means to be an Ephesians 5 Wife, A Titus 2 and A Proverbs 31 woman. You don’t have to wait start or grow in these attributes ladies when you get a husband start now with the Lover of your soul, Jesus!. Marriage is suppose to be a reflection of your relationship with Jesus anyway! Its been amazing and He is the Perfect Husband lol

-From Jesus with Love <3

Singleness In Light Of Eternity

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 I know, I know I can already the see the eye rolls of many young ladies who are desiring, have been waiting and some to be frankly honest desperate to get married . I can also hear some ladies saying “what do you mean I shouldn’t desire marriage?” lol of course not. Marriage is a wonderful gift from the Lord and meant to be an example and a reflection of our relationship with him. However, in our generation marriage and  weddings have been idolized and magnified leaving those who are single feeling incomplete, hopeless and sometimes purposeless which is a lie many have believed and soooo far from the truth. We have even taken the worlds approach by encouraging ladies to make themselves available, to even look a certain way to catch the eyes of a man or even worse were conditioned to believe as a single woman when you come to Jesus the next step is getting married. So you pursue, hunger for that, desire that all through your single season….and its wasted. In light of eternity there is so much work to be done whiles your single! I know man go through this too but speaking from a woman’s point of view because that’s what I am. A single 32 year old lover of Jesus and pursing him with everything I have…..until he GIVES me marriage!

Song of Solomon 8:4
Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.

I love this scripture especially this message version is says not stir up love until you’re ready. Many ladies believe they are ready for marriage but let me challenge you are you truly? As I said before marriage is a gift given by God but most importantly it is suppose to mirror the relationship you have with Jesus already. As a single woman Jesus is your husband (Isaiah 54:5), Is he your everything, do you do everything with him and for him?  One thing that confused me upon surrendering to the Lord was I began to notice many young Christian ladies around me who would talk more about marriage constantly, go to conferences for it, pursue it, pray and fast for it than Jesus (which there is nothing wrong with these things) but my hearts desire was to pursue more of Jesus. An aunt of mine even made a comment to my mom stating “Wow Nana is really into the Lord she must be wanting a husband”. I was like whaaaaa lol I was noticing that was the mentality of most of the African woman at my local church. You could have success in your life and career but if you weren’t married it meant nothing and that going to church as a single woman was to find a husband (the devil is a lie ) LOL. Please I wanted Jesus more than my last breath and I still do #lovemesomehim.

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Are You Submitted Bride To Jesus

Ladies how you are single is how you will be married. If your discontent, complaining, unhappy, selfish, not driven or motivated and especially not submitted to the Lord that’s exactly how you will be when you get married. That’s dangerous lol. Marriage is an example of what your relationship is with Christ. So if you haven’t totally surrendered to the Lord in every area of your life then how than will you know how to submit to your husband. So in this single season why don’t you ask God what it means to submit to him. Are you obedient to what he ask you to do, are you mindful of what you watch, where you go, how you spend your time and even your money all just to please him? Do you seek Jesus for counsel before you make decisions?

Proverb 14:1
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Are You About His Kingdom

What are you doing with this beautiful gift of singleness the Lord has entrusted to you. Are you a wise woman building up his kingdom or are you building your kingdom? Many ladies have their hearts so focused on marriage  that they become idle no doing anything to really impact the kingdom. Some might think the only ministry you will have has only to do with you and your husband. However, your life should be a ministry now. In Genesis the Lord blessed the man and the woman and said “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it (Genesis 1:28).  Many use this scripture solely pertaining to barring children but God wants you to bare fruit so are you? There is soooo much work to be done. All of  you have an amazing purpose outside of your husband in this season.  This season might be for intercession of others, serving your community or local church, traveling on mission trips, hosting events to draw many to Christ,  evangelizing where he places you, leading bible studies, serving children, poor and elderly or might be season to walk in deliverance, freedom, healing, building your confidence, trust and faith in your true husband Jesus! Guess what, when God finally gives you the gift of marriage none of these things stop, your spouse just adds on to it…..to the Kingdom. #Kingdomcouple

 

So you see sis you are burdened with a glorious amazing awing purpose and it doesn’t begin when you get married but, it began the moment you said yes to Jesus…..hehe wait you see how when a man ask you “will you be my wife?”…well when you accept Jesus you actually say yes to being his bride hahah I love that! So now that your married to Christ take his hand in this single season and do life with him. Eternity starts right NOW and he has gifted you with so many other gifts he wants you to use right NOW. So what will you do to impact eternity whiles you wait…for the gift of marriage?

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

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” Love your neighbor as yourself” this phrase has been ringing through my mind by the Holy Spirit during prayer and evermore so his season. The Lord has been really teaching me  and challenging me on brother love. If anyone were to ask you do you love Jesus? Most of us would say “yes of course I love God no doubt about it” but, if you love God do you love people, do you love those he has placed right next to you. Do you love your neighbor as yourself? That is one of the many challenges the Lord has brought to my attention as I would say many times through out the day in my heart, during worship and prayer Jesus I love you and he immediately spoke to me and said “then feed my sheep”. At first I was a little surprised when he speaks so clear and directly hence the blog, youtube channel and the bible study he has me now leading. Then the second challenge which was a few weeks ago as I said again to my beloved bridegroom (sighing affectionately) “Jesus I love you”  and he said “if you love me then love your neighbor as yourself”. Again I was like well, okay…okay (check, dang Holy Spirit) as the Holy spirit reminded how I strongly desired to do mission work, to travel and tell people about Jesus but, have I even gotten an opportunity to know my own neighbors, talk to them share Christ with them?  Lets be honest how many of us  proclaim to love Jesus but don’t really like people lol So may this blog challenge you today especially this holiday to love your neighbor as yourself.

Matthew 22:34-40
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

So the Lord put it on my heart to knock on each of my neighbors doors and tell them that Jesus loves them and if they needed prayer for anything. The funny thing is for a girl that witnesses all the time to strangers this was terrifying lol I can talk to people I might not see again but to speak to my neighbors on all four floors in apartment complex I just couldn’t muster the courage, I know sad. I asked my brothers in Christ to go with me but they didn’t seem down (sidenote don’t ever look for others to go with you when God is asking you to be obedient to him. Listen and obey). So you can guess I didn’t listen and of course the Lord chastised me in prayer that week and had to repent for disobedience as he gave me the rhema

“Give an example of blind generous obedience or you will scandalized those I have called you to be an example of”

I was called to be an example of obedience and brotherly love to my brothers in Christ. As believers we are all called to be example of Christ in all that we do, you never know who is watching or better yet who the Lord wants to impact by your willingness to obey and perform generous acts of kindness. So as I came before the Lord he gave me another idea this week to get gifts for each of my neighbors and present it to them for Christmas. Which I will be doing today! So what does that mean to love your neighbor as yourself. It means too treat people like you would yourself, to talk to them as you would talk to yourself, to clean after them as you would yourself, to help them as you would help yourself, to love them as you love yourself. Despite the way they treat you, talk to you, approach you, react towards you, say to you, intentions towards you, unbeliever or not or  You just love people and allow God to do the rest. I love this scripture because you cant say you know God and not love! haha

So below are some ideas and most I have done btw 🙂 the Lord gave me to be love our neighbors:

  • Take out your neighbors trash-especially if you live in apartment complex you see your neighbors trash outside their door, don’t ask just take it out for them 🙂
  • Pay for someone’s meal  who is behind you or in front of you in line or a drive thru, or a restaurant
  • Buy plenty of holiday cards, write personal encouraging notes in them ( I call them love note and hand it to random people)
  • Put loves notes on peoples windshield
  • Pray for someone whiles your Christmas shopping . People are in desperate need of encouragement, hope and love this holidays that is the cheapest and most rewarding thing to do!
  • Give your neighbors gift for Christmas could be cards, candy canes, cookies etc
  • Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while let them know they were on your mind and how you could pray for them…that just came to me lol I love it and will do it on Christmas!!
  • When grocery shopping bless someone with a prayer
  • Give generously to those in need homeless and without food
  • Tip nice for the waiters this holiday if you go out to eat then pray with them!

 

1 John 4;38
The person who doesn’t love does not know God, because God is love.

love-your-neighbor

 

Wow powerful scripture, powerful truth. So who is it that your not loving or liking so much this holiday and is that showing a reflection of Christ love in you or what’s in your heart? Furthermore, how do you see others all around you do you see them as your neighbor or a stranger? If you do simply ask the Lord to soften your heart and to have more compassion for other. Also ask him how you can love your neighbor this Christmas so you can be his hands and feet to someone who is in need of a touch of love from Jesus!

Merry Christmas and amidst all the family gathers, celebrations and festivities don’t forget to spend alone time with the one were celebrating Jesus!

 

Trails Of Faithfulness

lonely-girl-walking-on-road

My birthday was on the 10th of this month and which caused me to sit back and reflect on where I am now and where I used to be. I can honestly say this  was a difficult day so many arrows from the enemy telling me nothing has changed and feeling of no accomplishments. I had many people write beautiful messages on my Facebook wall and even text me but no phone calls besides family and If I can be honest I felt so alone, I thought man my Facebook page is looking like my memorial page LOL but I’m not dead yet sheesh people could just call me and tell me those nice things would’ve appreciate it so much more. You know as I am typing this I realize goodness that’s how we treat God sometimes, many know about him by quoting scriptures all day, going to church, posting bible versus, talking about Him,  and even preach about Him but how many spend time with Him. I can imagine He feels the same way sometimes. Saying  “man these people are always talking about me but their hearts are so far from me as He too feels alone, waiting and desiring them to come to him, KNOW him, spend time with him talking too Him and loving Him. (This is so the Holy Spirit by the way so no the direction of the blog but I love it he gave me that revelation as I am typing, Haha love Him!)

So since losing my job and being at home it has honestly been a struggle daily and my birthday was no different I had to tell myself “Nana get out of self pity don’t you see the Lord has done amazing things in you life don’t let what you see influence what you know” One lie I had believed was ” This is the story of my life motto” I would say it all the time in my heart when patterns in my life showed itself but during a Kairos session at my church the Lord revealed I had believed that lie, that’s exactly what it was a lie! The Lord spoke to my heart and spoke this truth instead:

Hebrews 12:2  I AM the author and finisher of your faith

I thought wow Lord, so true, you are right! My story is not written based on my experiences, my opinions or circumstances you do. Thank you Jesus! We can all take comfort in that if you are in a season which seems uncomfortable and your becoming the slightest bit hopeless or discouraged know that God is complete control he is not surprised by where you are, what has happened and where your going trust him to lead in all things knowing that he indeed works ALL things for his glory!

Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

The Lord told me to lay my business, clothing line and jewelry line down to follow him. So the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to go through my old journals that chronicled my 2 1/2 years of walking with the Lord.  To go back and see the many answered prayers, the many promises and how clearly the Lord has been speaking to me. To truly see his trail of faithfulness in my life because that’s what the enemy was attacking my faith to believe that God is indeed faithful. So I did just that and below I wanted to share  the many altars of Gods faithfulness in my life.

Journal Entries:
Sept 24,2014
You spoke to my heart that your preparing me for something not sure what, you told me that “Sometimes you don’t give us the blessing because we don’t have the capacity or character to handle it”

Sep 27, 2014

The Lord gave me a dream which I believe he is saying that he has called me into ministry of the Gospel and has given me a grace of leadership, I’m in the preparation process and that the enemy is after my prayer life. God has given me a gift of discernment & intercession setting me apart to be victorious in prayer ….my thoughts, really?!!!! Lord me

October 6, 2014

During small group as we prayed for my sister with a complicated pregnancy the Lord revealed to a sister in Christ  a picture of flowing water. Not knowing my sister had no water in her belly and her baby was in danger of death the Lord declared he would provide the water to sustain that child

October 15, 2014

I told the Lord that ” I would be bold for him and take the Love of God and be a world changer” after hearing Pastor Ravi Zacharias speak.

November 4, 2014

I asked the Lord to reveal if my sister should began her poetry book and he gave me a dream that night directing me that it wasn’t the right time

November 21, 2014

Prayed for a close friend who needed a breakthrough and she  got a job that same week

December 2, 2014

Had intense spiritual attack of lust/perversion and after pressing in for a week the Lord gave me the victory

December 11,2014

The Lord finally gave me direction on my calling by admonishing me saying ” If you don’t know my ways and they are not implanted in your hearts how can you then walk in your assignment” (shut me up) lol

December 22, 2014 (fulfilled prophecy)

A brother in Christ calls me with a prophetic word that people are drawn to me because of Christ . That my walk will be very uncomfortable but I should walk by faith and that many will come to know Christ through me. Also that their would be loved ones who would distant themselves from me but I shouldn’t be sad God would restore our relationship.

January 28,2015
The Lord reveals in a  dream that my brother would be released sooner than later…(and he was)

February 27, 2015
I asked the Holy Spirit to teach me how to pray

April, 15, 2015

I met my sisters new boyfriend and prayed right then if he was meant to be with my sister to stay for bible study and if not for him to leave. (Not only did he stay but he surrendered his life and now getting married next year!)

April 22, 2015

The Lord spoke to move out of my moms house and finally got approved for my own apartment!

June 05, 2015

The Lord put it on my heart to began a fellowship meeting at my house despite fears and insecurities. (has grown and do it everyday Friday)

February 11,2015
The Lord confirmed that he wanted me to start a blog and youtube channel despite fears and insecurities. ( hence writing today  with 22 blogs and 640 subscribers later….God is amazing!)

January 18, 2015

In he midst of deep hurt and betrayal He spoke ” I am transforming you and your family”

November 27, 2015
Prayed for divine friendships and relationship that go deep ( he has answered that!)

December 8, 2015

Gave me the idea to extend our Date Night with Jesus event and take it outside to the Homeless. ( by his grace were doing that this month will be our fourth time!…he is faithful)

Romans 8: 28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

I had stop because I couldn’t write all his promises on this blog! LOL Wow, reading all of these going down in memory lane made me smile. My God is indeed faithful when you are in the midst of a trials, test or suffering the enemy of your soul would love for you to focus on your present situation and forgot all that God has said and done but truly Gods word does not return void. If he said it he will do it!! Thinking of the many times I wrote down my thoughts not realizing it was actually Jesus speaking and now looking back realizing that it was indeed him! That  truly is a different type of joy I get knowing that I hear the voice of God 🙂 How I thank him for such a wonderful grace! So what promise are you going to revive or cling too one again? Know that God is indeed faithful as you continue to Trust him, Follow his lead in blind obedience you will be able to look back and be in awe at what he does in you life!

 

 

I Am A Little Pencil In The Hand Of God

 

pencil2

This term was coined by Mother Teresa and she went on to say that  ” I am little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world” and was given to me by a friend recently. Oh, what a truthful and beautiful statement this is for us all, well that’s if we allow it to be. We are all created with a story in mind by the hand of the creator however many times we want to dictate where our lines are drawn or better yet write our own stories. Many of us want to used by God but are not willing to let go of complete control and allow him  to write HIS story through us because that’s what our lives are…..HIS story told through our tears, pain, suffering, trials, celebrations, disappointments, test & achievements to guide stories. Just as the bible is written and inspired by the Holy spirit through many different accounts of Christ disciples so will the story of our lives. It should ad on to the testimony of Jesus Christ who he is and how he uses the lowliest of vessels to bring him glory. As we allow Him to write you can trust that the lines of your life will fall in pleasant places

Psalm 16:6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

However, I got the most interesting picture the Lord gave me. That we can  be can be different type of pencils which can be a little more difficult to write HIS story with. There is the graphite pencil, the mechanical pencil and wooden pencil .

grahite-pencil

Graphite Pencil-Used to for sketches for detail and to draw deep dark lines. It is it the one that stains the paper and pigments it , being able to create a trace after it, which is well-known as line. Interesting definition of a graphite pencil in the hands of God can be a person who is deep, passionate in all that do and very detailed. They draw out their lives intentionally however “its stains the paper and pigments it” so  having no eraser  they give no room for error in themselves or others. Which causes them to be critical or judgmental of others staining them with the same idea. They strive for perfection which is impossible without the hand of God because he always rewrites our plans which never look perfect. It creates traces of wrong turns, should couldas, and achievement in the persons life which continues to have them look back then looking forward to what God is doing

mechanical-pencil

Mechanical pencil-or a propelling pencil is a pencil with a replaceable and mechanically extendable solid pigment core called a “lead” /ˈlɛd/. The lead, often made of graphite, is not bonded to the outer casing, and can be mechanically extended as its point is worn away. In the hands of God can be a person who strong within their OWN strengthen and not on the Lord. They are mechanical in thinking  and solving problems, very analytical and reason before they go any further. They may follow the culture, work faster and are quick to adapt but in the Hand of God he desire for us to submitted, patient and quick to obey HIS lead. With the lead of this pencil being able to be easily broken and even run out at times. This person can be a hard worker but since its all in their strength, they burn out easily and being mechanical when they find themselves not having control and completely broken they have no where to turn too since they were relying on themselves. It causes them to be completely out of use and out of Gods will

pencil

a Simple Wooden Pencil-Most common used Pencil. In the Hands of God it is the most simple of all pencils but the beauty of this pencil is that it can become anything, carved into different shapes but still be used to perfom the same task. This pencil can be broken and still be used, it may have dull moments when the lead cannot be seen but use a pencil sharpener then the lead is yet again available for use. Just as a person who is broken so many times can be used  by God and when they find themselves with out hope or purpose they are sharpened again by the word of God or even by their brothers/sisters around them.

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another

with the eraser they are able to have God erase their mistakes from the past, redirect their direction when they turn a wrong way and create a beautiful masterpiece out of a mess. In Gods hand all things are possible as we yield to him to break us, sharpen us, and write HIS story through us because one thing ALL pencils have in common is that they are a tool to be used, within itself a pencil is useless unless someone is using it for the purpose in which it was created for. So will you let God use you to write HIS story?

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mother-teresa
The late Mother Teresa

 

I don’t think so. I don’t claim anything of the work. It’s His work. I’m like a little pencil in His hand. That’s all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do it. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used. In human terms, the success of our work should not have happened, no? That is a sign that it’s His work, and that He is using others as instruments – all our Sisters. None of us could produce this. Yet see what He has done.- Mother Teresa

 

People Are A Gift From God!

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One day a few weeks I went and a walk with the Lord just talking to him about some recent situations I went though where I was hurt by someone I cared about. I continued speaking to him about my past wounds from others and He said “They are all gift to you, every person I have brought in your life is a gift to you. Whether they have been good to you or not they are all my precious gifts to you” I was flabbergasted to say the least but the Holy spirit began to give me a deeper understanding of what he was saying. Those in my life who have hurt me have caused me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and even bare much fruit for him. So many times and just in our society we discount people, we hold sometimes okay let me be honest, in our generation we hold material things, class, status, even animals at a greater esteem then people. However, that is so backwards because in all of creation were the only ones  created in Gods image and he made us just a little lower then the angels:

Hebrew 2:6-7
What is man, that You are mindful of him, or the son of man, that You care for him? You made them a little lower than the angels; you crowned them with glory and honor

You see the Lord has chosen man as his dwelling place. Not a temple, not a building, not a location, not a mountain, not even the sky but he has chosen his son’s and daughters to indwell within then by the Holy Spirit. So when we love on people we don’t just love on them but we love on God!

1 Corinthians 3:16
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

At that time of this conversation I was pouring out my heart to the Lord telling him of the pain of being accused, slandered and talked against. I began to compare my walk with him to others around me. Complaining that my walk seemed so much more difficult and he said its because of your calling….(which I still don’t know by the way, don’t you love when he continues to leave you hanging but still yearning for more of him lol). The Holy spirit then put this on my heart that when we measure and compare our suffering based on what others go through rather than what Christ went through for us then that could lead us into depression, resentment, bitterns and even unforgiveness. Furthermore, if the measure of Gods glory and favor on our lives becomes based on comparing ourselves to others than it can easily lead to pride. Looking down on others and even thinking you’re more spiritual mature but, the only measure in all things should be and is Jesus Christ, his glory and his suffering. Neither of these can compare to man’s suffering or glory we go partake in on the earth. So my little measly suffering I am going through is nothing compared to what Jesus did on the on the cross for me…..so to say the least that shut me up real quick lol but, it was such a beautiful revelation.

He went on to say that people indeed are the greatest gifts on this earth and that did I forget that he uses ALL things for my good.  He uses people to fulfill his purpose upon the earth and even in our lives. Every person he has brought in my life has made me better. He has brought people in my life to encourage me, to propel me when I felt like I couldn’t go forward. He brought people in my life to love me to show me what his heart looks like in order that I may began to love also. Then he has brought people in my life to teach me lessons, to allow the uglies in my own heart to be brought to the light so that may repent and have a pure heart. He has brought people in my life who have hurt me which allows me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and bare much fruit for him. So that’s why this person and all people are a gift good or bad.

I would like to share two vision one from a pastor and the other from a man who went to heaven. The pastor stated the Lord gave him a vision one day of  being taking to this art gallery and he saw a huge monument  of a man beautifully chiseled from head to toe. This man looked exquisite almost out of this world he was in awe when he saw it and asked Jesus who is this man? and Jesus said “its you”. He was in speechless, then Jesus asked would you like to see the two man who created this masterpiece he said yes…and the Lord took him to the other side of the monument and he was in complete shock. There were two men he recognized very well. He actually had despised them for a time because they were two critics of his ministry. They came to church every Sunday, sat on the front row for years and wrote many articles to tear down his ministry however, the Lord told him to continue to love on them and forgive them. Jesus stated that he used them to bring out much fruit and virtue in him so in fact they brought the best out in him. Isn’t that amazing! The second vision was a man who went to heaven and he stated that the greatest attribute in heaven will not be the knowledge you gain, the things you see or have access too but it will be the citizens of heaven. Each person is like heaven, for they radiate the purest love and joy that you will ever encounter…haha isn’t that wonderful, each person is like heaven itself that makes me smile!

So if we would then began to see people as gifts as they are, if we see children as the greatest gift then we would no longer abort or even consider abortion. If we see family and friends as gifts, if we would see strangers as gifts, if we would see especially those who hurt as the greatest gifts because the Lord uses ALL things for his glory. If you give him the pain, the memory and see from his perspective he will use that person to chisel the most beautiful heart you will ever see….it will be Gods heart now in yours then all you will know how to do is to love everyone despite what they do because they are gift to you, being used to refine, purify and create the purest heart in you. So you can be all that God has called you to be!

Love waits patiently for God’s timing. Love is gentle and shows kindness to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect; nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love finds delight in the truth, not in what is wrong. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things—and still remains strong.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The Passion Translation

God Carries A Picture Of Me In His Wallet!

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So this term was coined by Pastor Todd White and when I first heard it all I could do was laugh at not only the truth in that statement but, the reality that our God is truly a proud parent of all his children. As believers sometimes it hard to receive Gods love. We here it used so loosely at time. God loves you and we think yea I know but,……..if we really search our hearts we have to ask yourself do you really know how loved you are by God, do you? Because I believe if we really knew how much God loved us we would live not only differently but accordingly. If we can be honest, including myself, sometimes our love for him can be so conditionally and I believe we have been taught that way. As if Gods love is conditional too, that when we go through hard times, death, suffering, trials, poverty, rejection, the list can go on that means God doesn’t love us or your not blessed. However, when we go through blessing, riches, elevation, promotion, and have favor with men that means God loves us. Such a twisted incorrect perspective which is such an injustice to our identity once we are saved. You see Jesus died on the cross because of your sin not for it, he died because your sin caused you to be not only separated from God the Father but from your true identity as his child walking in fellowship and communion with him. So he had to die because of your sin there fore redeeming you back to God the father so that you can now have fellowship and communion with him daily as Adam did. His blood restored your identity back to who you were before Adam sinned. That’s why he continues to call his children justified by the cross, justified by the blood, justified if we confess and believe in his son Jesus. Romans 8:30 Those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified, Justified: Just-as-if- you never sinned! YOU are a son & daughter of the Most High King period. That’s who you are right now, nothing can change that who yearns to have deep intimate relationship with all his children. That’s why God created us for relationship with him, he created us for himself that’s it. Its so simple but it sounds so foolish to those who are perishing

1 Corinthians 1:18
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

If you let that sink in, it blows your mind. I remember having that revelation of his love and its almost overwhelming. That God created the universe for us but created little ole me for himself. That I am the most precious commodity, I am his masterpiece, I am his favorite prized one, I am everything to him and despite all I have done and will do. His love, his adorations, his gaze, his glory, is focused on me so much so that He has now come to make his home inside of me because he loves me! That can blow anyone’s mind lol  When I first read Psalm 139 and

Psalm 8:4-6
What is man that You are mindful of him and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels and have crowned him with glory and honor

I laughed because I thought to myself David gets it! I love King David because the revelation of Gods love for him and Israel made him even dance in his lossley garments in front of all Israel and he didn’t care one bit. 2 Samuel 6:14 Wearing a lined ephod, David was dancing before the LORD with all his might. You know so many times we walk around condemnation because we messed up but God doesn’t condemn you and never will because you are his child. We walk around in guilt or shame because of our past but when God sees you, he sees you as you never sinned your his child. We walk around victimized, hurt, & rejected by others but, God has never rejected you because of the finished work of Jesus blood you have been accepted as his child. We walk around thinking God is too busy, not really present, hard to reach, not really concerned with the details of our lives but,  you are his child so just as he walked with Adam in the cool of the day he now walks with you every single second, of every single day, wherever you go. He so desperately wants you to be conscious of that because living a life WITH God is so much better than FOR him. As your perspective changes you no longer see yourself as a slave following rules and directions but as a child holding their fathers hand going on crazy, surprising, sometimes difficult bur rewarding adventure!

I love the song Pieces by Amanda Cook from Bethel Church because the lyrics are so beautiful and true. Many times in our relationship the Holy spirit has reminding me of Gods love through this song. May favorite parts of the lyrics is the first verse when she states :
Unreserved, unrestrained
Your love is wild
Your love is wild for me
It isn’t shy, its unashamed
Your love is proud
To be seen with me

So during my alone time with the Lord he showed me a beautiful picture in my heart of many of his children walking around with their heads down desponded, hopeless, feeling dirty, unclean, ashamed, condemned and he was in heaven shouting at the top of lungs with such excitement saying Look, look guys, you see that one, yup that’s my son. Oh ooooh look over there yup this one. She is mine that’s my daughter with such love and excitement he was boasting about them in front of all of heaven.
Some of these people were homeless, looked dirty, one was a prostitute, some others were just who were just ashamed of their past, what they had done or were doing. Some were so broken and hurt because of the rejection they faced from others and felt so isolated and alone. Yet, here God the Father was in so much, almost child like giddy excitement proudly boasting that is my child! Haha, that’s exactly what his love looks like its so unashamed and it proud to be seen with you regardless of what the world thinks of you, treats you or what people say. You are a child of God period, His love for you is truly unconditional period, He always is ever present with  you and will NEVER leave you period and he wants you to know that and live this love out WITH him….period lol.So guess what, God has a picture of YOU in his wallet too boasting all day about you, because when he sees you he sees your true identity, his child, a heir to throne of the kingdom of God!

 

2 Corinthians 6:18
And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

God bless you child of God!

The Lord Loves To Use Broken Vessels

 

Broken vessels

You know so many of us yearn for the Lord to use us in mighty ways. We desire for the glory of God to be manifested and revealed in our lives so that he would be magnified. Funny thing is that exactly his desire for each and every single one of us however,  many times we feel as if we have to be perfect. That we have to clean ourselves up of our past, our struggles, and are weaknesses for him to use us. As believes sometimes we can automatically equate a mature believer with their strengthen. Unfortunately many times in  “Christianity” there a perception that you have to be a STRONG Christian, strong woman, strong man, strong wife, strong husband etc. Well, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a strong Christian or should I say it shouldn’t be put in that way. We have some have been given a greater measure of grace only to fulfill the purpose of God in their lives. Didn’t Paul tell us to boast in our weaknesses, so why as believers do we have the hardest time doing that?

2 Corinthians 12:9
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me

During my alone time with the Lord,  he gave me wonderful impression of  Three Vessels. One filled with full to the top, Second filled running over and the Third cracked and broken with water pouring out of the holes. I realize we use this imagery a lot to symbolize ourselves as believers. We should be empty so the Lord can fill us up so we can overflow and pour out to others. Which is accurate however, the Lord showed me a beautiful different perspective, his perspective and out of all three vessels the most favored was the broken and cracked one.
A Vessel Filled To The Top:

FilledVase

(side not couldn’t find a better picture lol)
This vessel has been emptied of themselves and now is filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, however there is one of two slight problems that can occur if  this vessel is not careful. They can become stagnate, compliance or even lukewarm. They have been so full with the things of God but, no outlet to pour out which can in turn make them very comfortable. Or this vessel can become so full of pride, believing they know it all, have it all, no one can tell them nothing and unfortunately they rarely are willing to pour out their wisdom on others as if it comes with a cost. So be mindful not to become a vessel full of the knowledge, wisdom and gifts of God and not pouring out to others

Second Vessel: Filled to the top overflowing
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Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, there is one slight problem that can occur if this vessel is not careful. You see in this vessel, when poured out, it empty itself to be filled up again just to be pour out. So when it becomes empty, it can become weary, tired, and even dry at times. Until they are completely filled up again which could even take awhile. Then just to pout it all out and began the cycle over. So be mindful not to become a vessel pouring out to others all the time and leaving yourself empty.

Third Vessel: “Favored Vessel”- The Broken Vessel

Broken vessels

Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, this one has many cracks, and many holes which were brought on by wounds from their past brought on from themselves or others, struggles that seem to resurface, and many, many weakness. Now don’t get me wrong the other vessels had some cracks and holes but they have been patched up so not many could see them but this one is very open, honest and transparent. The not only allow the Lord to pour out of them but to pour out of the very places of pain, of struggles, and of weakness They can never be too full, they can never be empty because they have cracks and holes therefore the Lord is continuously pouring into them and they are continuously pouring out to others. The flow never stops.

In his book The Final Quest, (side note I encourage everyone to read that book is sooo anointed!) Pastor Rick Joyner is told that in heaven we will be able to see the wounds of Jesus, and not only His wounds, but the scars that all of His chosen ones have taken for His sake. These are the medals of honor in heaven. He is told that we will carry these glorious scars forever, as Jesus does. It shows that all who carry them love God and His truth more than their own lives. He goes on to say that true leaders of God’s people, who carry genuine spiritual authority, will first prove their devotion in this way, through suffering for His name sake.

Isn’t that amazing!  When we can become willing vessels, transparent vessels about our past, our struggles, our pains, our weakness and pour out to others from that place the Lord loves it. He looks at it and says “Aaa Ha Now that is a Vessle I can use. When we are open about our weaknesses truly the Lord is magnified in every single way because those who look at us will ask themselves, How is that possible this vessel is standing, how is it possible that it can even be used but what they will see is Gods light radiating out of all our cracks and holes. Furthermore, those who we pour into will know if the Lord can use that broken, messed up, cracked vessel than he can use me too!

So what cracks and holes are you hiding that the Lord is trying to pour out of?  Don’t be afraid, don’t allow shame to keep your light hidden and your overflow stopped up. Guess what he wants to use you just as you are…..Cracks in all!

Breaking Up With Jesus

unhappy woman crying

So I know the title sounds….interesting lol but honestly that’s exactly what I did about two weeks ago. I can candidly say  any believer who has an intimate relationship has had one of these conversations with the Lord and I am not ashamed to recognize my foolishness lol. If you have been following blog you can see that I have been in a wilderness season for sure however lately the Lord has been  a lot more silent than usual for over a month now as I continue to seek him in prayer and worship still getting no definite answer.  I would continue to get Rhema scriptures on Patience, and Seeking God :

Matthew 7:7-8
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

So about a week ago in my alone time I just let him have it, in the most respectful way of course but I just poured out all my frustriaons, anger and anxiets to him. I mean he said he loved David a man after his own heart, a man who was brutally honest with his God, so I can be honest right lol . Now, a little background on my relationship with the Lord I would like to think it is a very intimate one. He infact has truly become my husband, my God whom I am submitted too and like any husband for his spouse he is demanding. So I have come to understand that I cannot do a lot of things I want too or to be frank I cannot do a lot of things he might even allow other believers too do. We all have different calling, so there in lies the problem of me always comparing myself (as hand slaps forehead) and throwing fits ( in my heart that is) lol when he tells me no when I would rather go out saying come and spend time with me.  However, in the past that wasn’t an issue at all, why I loooooved to spend time with my love because I would feel his presence so strongly, he would speak and leave me in awe. So of course I would forsake all to spend time with the Creator of the Universe, my Lord, my Groom, my Love and just relish in his presence….but I have come to know how deceiving my heart it because when the experiences stopped if I can be honest didnt seem as fun anymore.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

So the times the Lord called me for prayer of course the enemy of my soul and my own flesh began to speak so much louder with lies. “Why are you always praying Nana”,  “you know your neglected your family and friends spending all this time in prayer”, “whats the point your fasting and prayer still now answer”,  “Nana go an live a little”, “There is a function at the church the Lord will be okay with it forsake him and go…come on after all its church”, “Nana come on there is no need to spend so much time in prayer”, “Nana look at everyone else accomplishing things what have you accomplished on your knees….just stop and do what you want”,  “Man Nana nothing has changed, your wasting your time” , “Yea go out to friends to the movies, just take a break relax a little”,  “Nana Your not living, go out and live a little”,  “How are you going to meet anyone or a husband for that matter if you continue to isolate yourself and pray” …..these were some of the many, many tormenting thoughts that when through my mind which led me to this  tearful, frustrated and honest converstaion with the Lord. It went something like this:

“Lord I am tired, I am waking up early in the morning to seek your face , when I get home I seek you face in hours of worship and prayer and nothing, You said as we give up more things in this world to seek your face you would give us constellations. Where am I constellations? Some have poked fun because of the car I drive and somethings they feel I should have, Family doesn’t understand me, I don’t really have any friends but one or two, some say I am too deep, I feel so alone at times as I try to please you and be obedient but I feel like I am not living, I am so unhappy, I let go of entertainment, forsake curtain activities out of obedience for you, I fast and I pray that’s all I do everysingle day just running home to this prayer closet and I get nothing. My dreams have stopped and as i seek you….nothing. I see others who live their lives plainly and they hear from you so clearly all the time that’s not fair….I feel like I am giving and giving and getting nothing.I want to live a little, have fun. I am unhappy Lord, I just cant, I just cant do this anymore. … as I said all of this outloud in a tearful rant, hearing the echo of my voice playing back all that I said, I thought to myself.” Oh my goodness, I just broke up with Jesus…..then I bust out laughing. Truly it had to be only the Lord that caused me to laugh because I believe he was laughing too. I could just see him looking at me saying are you done now? LOL

I had to think really Nana, so this it what it takes to walk away a little, to relax a little, to give in a little, to compromise a little…to “live” a litte. Who does that sound like?  ( hand slap to my face) So upon regrouping and gathering myself I asked the Lord for forgiveness and to strengthen me. Just like the enemy to send someone too you to entice you just one more time which he did through a family member who came over a couple days after and questioning my relationship with the Lord. Guess what……he said the exact same things I had said to the Lord, stating that I need to live a balanced life, and I cant be too Holy, and that I need to live a little its good to have a relationship with the Lord but its not that serious….(my mouth dropped open…in my heart that is). I found myself not only defending my walk with the Lord but, most importantly I realized truly how foolish I sounded saying all that to the Lord and that in fact it was the cunning enemy of my soul to put those thoughts in my mind. You see majority of the time the devil is very cunning and suttle in his ways.  The Battle is truly in the mind all he  has to do is whisper thoughts in our minds, thoughts of how “little” a compromise we can take and it will be okay. However, I have come to understand is its the Small Foxes That Spoil The Vine.  The Vine of our Love For Jesus that is, its the “little’ sins or compromises we make that cause us to stray only to turn around and find out how distant we are from the Lord. Well, I am happy to say Jesus and I are still going strong so no need to worry (if anyone was heartbroken initially reading this lol) we are in a covenant marriage so it can never be broken. Even if I stumble, complain, get angry, even if I make my bed in hell you will be there hence Psalm 139.  By the grace of God I aint going nowhere, can I get an amen! lol. I am glad that the God that we serve is not intimidated by our tough questions, is not turned off by our frustrations but in fact he understand perfectly and loves us despite it all!! So for anyone else who can relate even in the least bit be encouraged.

So Father I pray that my love for you will abound more and more and more. That I would abound in knowledge and in all discernment. That by your grace I would approve the things that are excellent, that I may be sincere, without offense until the Day of your return in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen

 

 

 

Faithful In The Small Things

tumbleweed3

 

The past couple of weeks have been a little rough, well quite rough lets say a Tumbleweed Season , began to feel a mixture of uncertainty ,anxiousness and discontentment. I began to seek the Lords will concerning a couple of things that were time sensitive “Time sensitive” For me anyway lol but you know how that is with the Lord. He walks with you completely unmoved by “our time’ and If I can be honest it can be very frustrating. (side note to Jesus: Yes, Lord this is very frustrating…sigh) lol . So as I began to press into the Lord in prayer and worship ferverntly he seemed so distant. No clear answer or direction besides “Wait” I got the Rhema Psalm 27 :14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD then again did you just realize how I said  he gave no answer and as I am typing this I realized that was an answer ….hence one that I am not trying to hear ( side note: uuugh…lol this is killing me Lord, he is probably like No Nana behind disobedient might..Eeeee LOL)

So I have been asking the Lord regarding his will concerning me moving out and a host of other things. I was going to  renew my lease but had to be the Holy Spirit that nudged me to stop and seek the Lords will. Needless to say I have 16 days left and starting to get a anxious. Then strife began to rise up within a prayer meeting group I started as well, and as I caught the Lord for direction and wisdom in that. Then I began to have spiritual and physical lethargy, weakness and soreness in my body for the past two weeks. I just kept telling the Lord, I am so tired Lord, I am tired. Just feel like giving up let me just relax a little.  If I can be honest what I was really saying was I am tired of praying and not hearing from you, tired of doing the prayer meeting, youtube channel, blog and not seeing any real fruit  just feeling drained having nothing  to pour out for the Youtube channel or even blog for that matter. It almost felt like my fire just was going out slowly. Just been dry. Tired of being at a job that I am not truly fulfilled  blaaaah!  (btw in tears I did tell the Lord all of these things on my heart)  So sought the Lord for another rhema word and got spiritual warfare and ” Patience”

Isaiah 40 :31

But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with twints like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint

I knew I couldn’t allow the enemies lies and tactics to take root in my mind and especially in my heart. So I went to youth service this past Tuesday honestly just for the worship. I told myself I would go for worship to be refreshed then go immediate home to spend time again in my prayer closet to war. I had no intension on listening to the message until the pastor began to speak about different season ins believers life and the season he was talking about was: The Battle. So that got my attention and I sat down which had to be by the Holy Spirit because the message was so convicting and not at all what I thought. The Lord was finally talking clearly to me or should I say I finally got it. I should know by now when the Lord seems distant of course he never is, he is right beside us but it is a test, to test our faithfulness. That’s exactly what the Tubleweed seasons are, a test in faithfulness. The Isrealites wondered for 40 years never entered into Gods promises for complaining and murmuring and that’s what I had been doing. Being so ungrateful, so frustrated, even angry. I realized that in the midst of me waiting, in the midst of oppression and in the midst of the emotions of my flesh I need to be faithful with all that the Lord had commissioned me to do.

Lord thank you for the privilege and honor it is to not only serve you but to do this crazy life WITH you. Help me to be faithful in all that you made me responsible over. Help me to have self control over my emotions and feelings which can stop me at times from being responsible. Give me the Grace to endure, preserver and wisdom to discern not only your will for my life, in all that I do  but to discern good from evil so I may judge correctly those you have called me to lead . I pray that I would do ALL things unto you so today I proclaim that:

As I volunteer at the Welcome Center at Church- I will be on time, and go above and beyond to make all who enter into your sanctuary welcome

At my Job- I will be on time, a woman of integrity in action and in deed.Not working on other projects besides the work they pay me for and having my productivity reflect Christ

For Prayer meeting- I will praying all week for those who should attend, sensitive to your leading and instruction as to what to pray and how we should pray. I will follow up during the week with those who come as well to see how they are doing

For the Youtube Channel- I will be diligent  & consistent with my messages, seeking your wisdom and your heart above the leading culture/trending news. That I would have a spirit of excellence to take this responsibility very seriously and teaching others how to know, serve and love you.

For the Blog- that I will be diligent & consistent to write a blog post every week, that I would be transparent and honest in my writing to encourage, and inspired many that God truly uses the weakest to do his business.

Lord help me to become a virtuous woman, full of love for you and others, full of wisdom, integrity & excellent in all that I do. Living a life submitted to you in obedience and unconditional trust in you. In Jesus name…..Help me Lord lol