joy – Heartdwellers Africa

Finally Tasting The Sweetness of The Hidden Life

November 13, 2019November 13, 2019 From Jesus With Love1 Comment

Psalm 34:8

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Yesterday, was my 35th birthday and it was by far the best birthday I ever had because I had finally tasted the sweetness of the hidden life! The Lord had given me that rhema so many times this past year and the most painful times in my life. I struggled with that word and began to ask the Lord to please help me then to taste the sweetness because all I kept feeling was pain. You see too hide yourself in the Lord is one thing but, to be hidden by God is another. Many of us want to be in the public eye, want our world to surround around us, to be noticed, recognized, honored and esteemed by others. However, I now know the hidden life is where its at! Especially a hidden life in Christ where your virtues and gifts go unnoticed, people tend to think of you as insignificant and where you live a life in obscurity in the eyes of the world but, tasting the very real, sweet and physical presence and love of our Lord. I was reading one of the holy books where it mentioned that “Jesus loved his life of obscurity more than he did his public life where he was known for the sign and wonders he performed”.

We live in a generation that despises obscurity and has such a compulsion to share everything. With social media everything becomes news, publicity, instant, such a strong desire to show others what is going on in our lives and we become self centered then God centered even as christians. Especially, if you are called to ministry there is such a tendency to want to expose yourself, promote yourself and your ministry. Rather, than allowing the Lord to keep you tucked away, hidden, in that dark room where he can process you, train you, teach you, grow you, stretch you and build you up. We can despise that hidden place the Lord calls us too because there you have no praise, no respect, no honor from men but, we have it from the Lord. Only if we would realize and desire that would be enough, only then can you tase the sweetness of the hidden life.

I struggled with that for a long while when the Lord called me to lay everything down to follow him. Every year he would continuously tell me to wait..wait…wait… and wait some more. I didn’t understand what it is I was waiting for as I began to take my eyes off of Him and look to others in comparison who seemed to be doing wonderful things for the Lord. It seemed he would continue to sit me on the shelf and push me back further and further. I now realize he was drawing me deeper and deeper to himself! Away from any creature that my affection will solely before him alone. Oh, how I have prayed that and desired that with my whole heart and this year he has cleaned the throne room of my heart where all that sits is him! Every birthday I would make it a big deal, throw big parties, have photoshoots, worship nights, dinners however, this year felt different. After going through one of the most toughest trials in my walk as I answered the call to a religious life as a Franciscan sister. Which cost me almost all my relationships, friendships, comforts and titles. I found myself truly now hidden in Christ and stripped of everything besides the lover of my soul. I found myself so full of peace, joy, contentment, hope and such great love words can’t even explain. The pain of having everything and everyone removed from me was so worth now having Jesus alone in the throne room of my heart and the center of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!!!

I had told him that I wanted to offer my birthday for those souls who were forgotten, rejected, abandoned, and felt so unloved. That all the consolations, gifts and graces he would give me for my birthday would be given to those souls instead . I prayed that he would make those in my community forget my birthday and I wouldn’t tell anyone as well. I deactivated my facebook so no one could reach out or would remember because I wanted to be forgotten and take on the cross of those who are forgotten. I wanted my celebration to between me and Jesus hidden in his heart. What do you know, the Lord answers my prayer! lol. I woke up that morning with a praise song on my heart as rushed into the pasture to our Blessed Mothers Praying tree to worship with the Lord and all the saints. I had the most amazing time ever!!! I found myself before the physical presence of Jesus as a priest I had my monstrance before me ( which is an open or transparent receptacle in which the consecrated Host is exposed for veneration)
on some crates as I danced and worshiped all morning long with Jesus, the saints and the angels. I always have a playlist and ask holy spirit to pick the songs and he even played a birthday song which was so awesome letting me know how present he truly was. There were many times I broke down in tears, sobbing at God’s faithfulness in my life and his immense mercy towards me. That he had answered the cry of my heart all those nights, trials, battles, I would get on my knees asking him that I wanted more of him, that I wanted him to be my sole desire, that I wanted to know his heart and be one with him, that I wanted to be filled with his spirit…. he has answered. As I was on my knees before His physical presence he had indeed given me himself fully, body, soul and divinity to me. That He had now come become my sole desire and affection after stripping me of everyone and everything all I had was him. In obsucrity, on my birthday, on my knees, with no one else around before Blessed Mothers sacred praying tree in the wilderness. I had finally found and tasted the sweetens of the hidden life!

So my dear friend, don’t despise humble beginning, don’t despise that hidden place the Lord has you in or is calling you into. A life out of the public eye in the wilderness in a retreat to the closest heart that matters. That of your Lord and Savior in complete obscurity to those in the world but, very visible, known and lavishly loved by the lover of your soul Jesus. There in lies true happiness, true joy, true peace, true purpose, true contentment and true sweetness!

“The hidden life seems gloomy to you because you have never tasted it’s sweetness”

-Jesus
(rhema word)

-From Jesus With Love

Gave Up My Life To Jesus

October 22, 2019 From Jesus With Love2 Comments

It is only the Lord who could’ve done this and continues to write this amazing story as I am no longer a bystander but I stand back in awe as His story through me continues to unfold before my eyes. As he led me to leave the world and follow him to NM. He has given me the desire of my heart. HIMSELF!! To officially become his Bride in a deeper walk of faith and commitment as I took my relgious vows and professed my vocation as a Franciscan Sister, Third Order. ( I will do a video about that later on what that entails) I am so humbled to share this journey and wedding ceremony with you all. In worship 2 days ago the Lord played a song from Lecrea ” Tell the World” and the lyrics say ” Ima tell the world ,tell the world I am brand new” So I am! lol A. LOL As Fransician sister my life will be living out the gospel, in intimacy with Jesus and holy life with him. As I have taken life vows of poverty, obedience, chasity (faithfulness to God), substantial prayer, substantial solitude. I pray this will be an invitation for many as I know there will be many more who will come after me. For this narrow road is available to anyone desiring to walk in holiness, truly die to themselves, completely to their past, their flesh and be completely crucified with Christ. To become a new creation in Christ and that is what I have become. The former things have passed away and behold the new has come. No longer Nana but now Mother Mary Elisha given to me by the Lord (mother of souls.) I am so humbled and eternally grateful to the Lord and his tender mercies and graces that got me here. All glory to Him!!. This is Part 1 and will be posting Part 2 tomorrow. Thank you for all your prayers God bless and love you guys!

-From Jesus With Love

Jesus’s Farting Bride

January 15, 2019 From Jesus With Love4 Comments

I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me. As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and the jingle went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have ^[a]refused him. For^[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew. Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love

You Were Created To Dance In The Fire

December 15, 2016December 15, 2016 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

“You were created to dance in the fire” that’s what the Lord spoke to me in my alone time this past week. He showed me a beautiful picture of me in a furnace on fire dancing around not burned, moving freely, swirling, and twirling around unmoved by the heat, the flames that consumed me because he was right there with me. Wow, I was blown away by impression form the Lord and sidenote: I love the image for this post because embodies almost what I saw thank you Holy Spirit lol (I always ask him to help me pick out the photos he is the best!)

So in the last blog I let you all in on the fact of the fiery trials that were going on with cars breaking down back to back, financial strains and jobs being lost left and right. Jesus was teaching me how to have a heart of thankfulness amidst my trials and suffering. Furthermore, he wanted to teach me how to dance through them by holding his hands and keeping my gaze on him only as he takes the lead in this wonderful dance. Not only to endure through them but to count it all joy knowing that our faith will be rewarded. As a believer you can experience fire from two different places the fire of the Lord and Fiery arrows of the enemy. The word of God states the Lord is a consuming fire (Hebrew 12:29) wow, that’s the God that we serve. For unbeliever that should leave them shaken for his consuming fire comes upon the unrighteous as a consuming wrath. However, for a believer He consumes us with his love, his glory, his anointing, his power and how is it possible were able to contain it all in our weak vessels of clay called bodies its only by abiding in him. By walking with so when fiery trials come so he can teach us how to dance when the fire of God falls on us and when the enemy releases his fiery arrows at us as well! lol

There are three scriptures that came to my mind. The first was Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego this was a perfect example of what it looked like to dance in the fire with Jesus because these guys were literally in a fire. I can imagine what that day was like they all were facing what looked like death because they were uncompromising serving the one and only true God. If they wouldn’t bow to the statue of the King they would be thrown in the fire. How many times have you been in a situation where you had to make the right decision that would cost you, maybe even cost you your life? Did you have faith to trust God in that moment were you full of fear, anxiety, worry and doubt? I love their response to the king as they faced death with fire they said:

Daniel 3:16-18
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. ¹⁷If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us^[c] from Your Majesty’s hand. ¹⁸But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

Wow, that response took a great level of faith. They knew that God would defend them and deliver them. I love the fact that they said even if he doesn’t we will not lose our faith, lose our hope, we will not cower. Amazing! May we ask for that grace to have that response when the Lord will doesn’t look like our will (They danced, I would say boogied in the fire! lol)

The second scripture the Lord brought to my mind was:

1 Peter 4:12-13

Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. ¹³Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.

This scripture talks about the sufferings, trials we go through as believers sometimes our trials aren’t based on a decision that we made or any open doors but these are our crosses to bare, our sufferings that we can offer to the Lord. They allow us to grow in virtue. Have you ever found yourself in a situation that seems overwhelming, burdensome or even painful and you immediately go into thinking its the enemy. There he goes that sly little devil and you start praying, binding, rebuking and the Lord says “stop its me. I am allowing this for my glory, for you to grow in your faith, and for you to trust me”. Lol Those are the times you have to cling to him and his promises all that the more. Will you trust him when your rent cant be paid, when people speaking against you, when you have no way around, when you have nothing to eat, when they say you cant have a child, when the Dr. gives you a bad health report, when you have no money for the holidays, will you dance in the fire with him?

James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

The third scripture was:

Ephesians 6:16
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

As a believer sometimes we forget we are in an on going spiritual battle that is very real. Ether you are a soldier in the army or your being help captive there is no middle ground in this fight. When you come to know Jesus Christ you are now a captive that has been set free and the enemy knows that very well. He will try to do whatever he can to make you feel defeated, discouraged, and ultimately held captive by him again. We know our adversary Satan and his demons are very real. They will stop and don’t stop at nothing to attempt to make our lives miserable on this earth. The Lord tells us not to be ignorant of the schemes and wiles of the devil for he is very cunning (2 Corinthians 2:11). With fiery arrows they shoot with anger, division, lies, joyously, condemnation, doubt, fear, death just to name a few. So you can find your self in a fiery situation that was caused by the enemy of our soul to lose hope, to lose trust and ultimately lose faith in the Lord. Job was a perfect example of a righteous man who went through a fiery trial immediately all of his friends and everyone around starting believing he had to have done something bad for all these things to happen to him. He had to have sinned however, the Lord came to his defense even before the trial began as he spoke to Satan of how righteousness his servant was and offered him to Satan to be tested (Job 1:8) Say whaaaaa, yes God offered Jobs name to be tested. Makes you wonder when you go through fiery trials has God offered your name to be tested. Can He say “look at my son/daughter they are righteous and love me so much that no arrow of yours will stop them from trusting, believing or having faith in me”? You see even in the enemies fire that’s when we dance all that the more, we move with grace, compassion, understanding, longsuffering and patience. As we cling too, hold on too the one we love the most Jesus! Going completely unscathed, no burns, or singes because he is right in the fire with us. Fighting our battle, as he leads my feet in this dance of fire to trample on the enemy!

Job 42:10
After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.

God restored Job completely and multiplied even all that he had before. Truly our God waste no trials, no suffering, no inconvenience, no hardship or heartache and when we trust him he restores all that was lost. So will you grab the hand of Jesus and allow him to lead you through the difficult times in your life. Will you stay in a heart of thanksgiving and praise so you become so overcome with his joy that your mourning turns into dancing. That all though your situation hasn’t changed because your gaze is fixed on him you began to dance in the fire with him! Will you trust him?……Now DANCE!

Grace of Thankfulness

December 8, 2016December 8, 2016 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

You know the Lord speaks in so many different ways and sometimes by numbers. I know many people have seen 111, 333, 444, 555 etc and the Holy Spirit has actually taught me what some of the meanings are when he shows his children those numbers. Numbers have a biblical meaning and shown three times consecutively becomes a love letter from the Lord to you. The number 3 is the Godhead (the Triune) so when you see 333, the Lord is reminding that God the Father, Jesus the son and the Holy Spirit are with you. Beautiful reminder he is with you. The number 4 is Gods creative works, so seeing 444 the Lord is reminding me to “work” . To be diligent or obedient if he has given me a project to do or a task. Now the number 5 is of Grace, redemption……good ole 555, to be honest I cringe when I see this, now I have learned to laugh a little, but nervous and pray lol. When I see 555 the Lord is telling me a suffering is coming, a Simons cross, a trial is coming. Since 5 is his grace this scripture comes to mind:

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

I remember first coming to the Lord one of my many passionate prayers have been that I would live for him, I would be willing to be rejected for him, and I would be willing to suffer for him. Oh, how he has kept me to my word lol As I began to read Gods words during difficult times I realized in his eyes we are blessed to suffer for his name. As we have our own crosses he allows suffering which is a trial, inconvenience a “Simons cross” which makes it more difficult because we are carrying an additional crosses for someone, something or a situation. Simon was the man that helped our Savior and Messiah carry his cross when Jesus couldn’t carry it anymore. This man thought he didn’t commit the crime why should he help carrying this so called “dead mans cross” not realizing the very cross he carried, carried his sins and that “dead man” was the savior of the world. If Simon would’ve known he would’ve responded with such excitement and with so much (Thankfulness)

Mark 15:21
A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross.

Many believers are going through trying ties right now because we are carrying crosses for the world and our nation for God mercy and his will to be done. So fast forward I began to see 555 often about two weeks ago and the first thought was oh oh, Lord a suffering/ trial is coming lol Usually, when I see that it affects just me but this time this trial affected my whole family. The Lord had spoken through this ministry I follow and told us Holy Trials where coming and the way we can overcome is having a grace of thankfulness

My Cross:

My sister lost her job the same week I lost mine
Then last week my brother in Law and my brother lost their jobs on the same day
Last week my sister car broke down and now we have only one two cars in the house
So no I am stuck waking up in the morning giving people rides @ 5am and dropping off the kids

This all happened in one month and has been very difficult for my family at the same time we have been through worse lol. So finally my brother in law got a job but needed a ride back and forth. I thought about it and told him I could help, so I committed to taking him to work 5am, dropping the kids off at school, picking him up then picking hem up from daycare. So this week I found myself dreading getting up 5 am and not having anytime to do any projects, being just tired I began to complain to the Lord. He spoke to me “stop complaining I am preparing you for marriage” . I was like whaaaaa Jesus, haha okay I wasn’t seeing things from his perspective or having his heart to sacrifice. This was teaching me to be a good steward of my time and giving me first hand experience what it would be like having a husband, children a family and still making time to spend with the Lord and work on all the projects he has given me. (Thankful)

Grace of Thankfulness

So during this trial the Lord kept reminding of that message of how we should be grateful and thankful in every trial. Its allows us to grow in patient, longsuffering, and most importantly trusting him. I got to encourage my family not to look at our circumstances but look to Jesus. Through this my sisters decided to do a family prayer line every week, which we did last Thursday and it was awesome. In my heart I was overjoyed in awe seeing my sisters draw closer to the Lord like never before (Thankful). Then this Monday we had a night of praise and worship at my moms house. My Brother in law came as well, everyone was so down and stressed with the loss of jobs and financial strain but the Lord reminded me again praise and worship me for what I am doing. So initially everyone was seated just a heaviness in the room but by the end of the night even my brother in law was up clapping his hands dancing and praising God. We all left that night so full of joy and thankful for all that we had! (Thankful) There is truly power in having a heart of praise and thanksgiving despite what your going through because we know God is working it all out!

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.

So we all don’t have jobs yet, nor is my sister car fixed but I know that God is with us now more than ever. I will worship God for who he is, what he has done, and what he is doing because I know he is transforming my family, transforming our hearts to transform our lives. He is so faithful!!! So what cross does God have you carrying? Know that he is suffering with you and that cross, those trials, and inconveniences are baring much fruit for his kingdom and causing you to grow in virtue as well. When it seems unbearable ask him for the grace of thankfulness. For that is the more reason you should get some worship music and praise God even all that the more because He is Good and is working it out!!

God bless you!

Trails Of Faithfulness

November 26, 2016November 26, 2016 From Jesus With Love3 Comments

My birthday was on the 10th of this month and which caused me to sit back and reflect on where I am now and where I used to be. I can honestly say this was a difficult day so many arrows from the enemy telling me nothing has changed and feeling of no accomplishments. I had many people write beautiful messages on my Facebook wall and even text me but no phone calls besides family and If I can be honest I felt so alone, I thought man my Facebook page is looking like my memorial page LOL but I’m not dead yet sheesh people could just call me and tell me those nice things would’ve appreciate it so much more. You know as I am typing this I realize goodness that’s how we treat God sometimes, many know about him by quoting scriptures all day, going to church, posting bible versus, talking about Him, and even preach about Him but how many spend time with Him. I can imagine He feels the same way sometimes. Saying “man these people are always talking about me but their hearts are so far from me as He too feels alone, waiting and desiring them to come to him, KNOW him, spend time with him talking too Him and loving Him. (This is so the Holy Spirit by the way so no the direction of the blog but I love it he gave me that revelation as I am typing, Haha love Him!)

So since losing my job and being at home it has honestly been a struggle daily and my birthday was no different I had to tell myself “Nana get out of self pity don’t you see the Lord has done amazing things in you life don’t let what you see influence what you know” One lie I had believed was ” This is the story of my life motto” I would say it all the time in my heart when patterns in my life showed itself but during a Kairos session at my church the Lord revealed I had believed that lie, that’s exactly what it was a lie! The Lord spoke to my heart and spoke this truth instead:

Hebrews 12:2 I AM the author and finisher of your faith

I thought wow Lord, so true, you are right! My story is not written based on my experiences, my opinions or circumstances you do. Thank you Jesus! We can all take comfort in that if you are in a season which seems uncomfortable and your becoming the slightest bit hopeless or discouraged know that God is complete control he is not surprised by where you are, what has happened and where your going trust him to lead in all things knowing that he indeed works ALL things for his glory!

Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

The Lord told me to lay my business, clothing line and jewelry line down to follow him. So the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to go through my old journals that chronicled my 2 1/2 years of walking with the Lord. To go back and see the many answered prayers, the many promises and how clearly the Lord has been speaking to me. To truly see his trail of faithfulness in my life because that’s what the enemy was attacking my faith to believe that God is indeed faithful. So I did just that and below I wanted to share the many altars of Gods faithfulness in my life.

Journal Entries:
Sept 24,2014
You spoke to my heart that your preparing me for something not sure what, you told me that “Sometimes you don’t give us the blessing because we don’t have the capacity or character to handle it”

Sep 27, 2014

The Lord gave me a dream which I believe he is saying that he has called me into ministry of the Gospel and has given me a grace of leadership, I’m in the preparation process and that the enemy is after my prayer life. God has given me a gift of discernment & intercession setting me apart to be victorious in prayer ….my thoughts, really?!!!! Lord me

October 6, 2014

During small group as we prayed for my sister with a complicated pregnancy the Lord revealed to a sister in Christ a picture of flowing water. Not knowing my sister had no water in her belly and her baby was in danger of death the Lord declared he would provide the water to sustain that child

October 15, 2014

I told the Lord that ” I would be bold for him and take the Love of God and be a world changer” after hearing Pastor Ravi Zacharias speak.

November 4, 2014

I asked the Lord to reveal if my sister should began her poetry book and he gave me a dream that night directing me that it wasn’t the right time

November 21, 2014

Prayed for a close friend who needed a breakthrough and she got a job that same week

December 2, 2014

Had intense spiritual attack of lust/perversion and after pressing in for a week the Lord gave me the victory

December 11,2014

The Lord finally gave me direction on my calling by admonishing me saying ” If you don’t know my ways and they are not implanted in your hearts how can you then walk in your assignment” (shut me up) lol

December 22, 2014 (fulfilled prophecy)

A brother in Christ calls me with a prophetic word that people are drawn to me because of Christ . That my walk will be very uncomfortable but I should walk by faith and that many will come to know Christ through me. Also that their would be loved ones who would distant themselves from me but I shouldn’t be sad God would restore our relationship.

January 28,2015
The Lord reveals in a dream that my brother would be released sooner than later…(and he was)

February 27, 2015
I asked the Holy Spirit to teach me how to pray

April, 15, 2015

I met my sisters new boyfriend and prayed right then if he was meant to be with my sister to stay for bible study and if not for him to leave. (Not only did he stay but he surrendered his life and now getting married next year!)

April 22, 2015

The Lord spoke to move out of my moms house and finally got approved for my own apartment!

June 05, 2015

The Lord put it on my heart to began a fellowship meeting at my house despite fears and insecurities. (has grown and do it everyday Friday)

February 11,2015
The Lord confirmed that he wanted me to start a blog and youtube channel despite fears and insecurities. ( hence writing today with 22 blogs and 640 subscribers later….God is amazing!)

January 18, 2015

In he midst of deep hurt and betrayal He spoke ” I am transforming you and your family”

November 27, 2015
Prayed for divine friendships and relationship that go deep ( he has answered that!)

December 8, 2015

Gave me the idea to extend our Date Night with Jesus event and take it outside to the Homeless. ( by his grace were doing that this month will be our fourth time!…he is faithful)

Romans 8: 28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I had stop because I couldn’t write all his promises on this blog! LOL Wow, reading all of these going down in memory lane made me smile. My God is indeed faithful when you are in the midst of a trials, test or suffering the enemy of your soul would love for you to focus on your present situation and forgot all that God has said and done but truly Gods word does not return void. If he said it he will do it!! Thinking of the many times I wrote down my thoughts not realizing it was actually Jesus speaking and now looking back realizing that it was indeed him! That truly is a different type of joy I get knowing that I hear the voice of God 🙂 How I thank him for such a wonderful grace! So what promise are you going to revive or cling too one again? Know that God is indeed faithful as you continue to Trust him, Follow his lead in blind obedience you will be able to look back and be in awe at what he does in you life!

People Are A Gift From God!

September 23, 2016October 10, 2016 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

One day a few weeks I went and a walk with the Lord just talking to him about some recent situations I went though where I was hurt by someone I cared about. I continued speaking to him about my past wounds from others and He said “They are all gift to you, every person I have brought in your life is a gift to you. Whether they have been good to you or not they are all my precious gifts to you” I was flabbergasted to say the least but the Holy spirit began to give me a deeper understanding of what he was saying. Those in my life who have hurt me have caused me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and even bare much fruit for him. So many times and just in our society we discount people, we hold sometimes okay let me be honest, in our generation we hold material things, class, status, even animals at a greater esteem then people. However, that is so backwards because in all of creation were the only ones created in Gods image and he made us just a little lower then the angels:

Hebrew 2:6-7
What is man, that You are mindful of him, or the son of man, that You care for him? You made them a little lower than the angels; you crowned them with glory and honor

You see the Lord has chosen man as his dwelling place. Not a temple, not a building, not a location, not a mountain, not even the sky but he has chosen his son’s and daughters to indwell within then by the Holy Spirit. So when we love on people we don’t just love on them but we love on God!

1 Corinthians 3:16
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

At that time of this conversation I was pouring out my heart to the Lord telling him of the pain of being accused, slandered and talked against. I began to compare my walk with him to others around me. Complaining that my walk seemed so much more difficult and he said its because of your calling….(which I still don’t know by the way, don’t you love when he continues to leave you hanging but still yearning for more of him lol). The Holy spirit then put this on my heart that when we measure and compare our suffering based on what others go through rather than what Christ went through for us then that could lead us into depression, resentment, bitterns and even unforgiveness. Furthermore, if the measure of Gods glory and favor on our lives becomes based on comparing ourselves to others than it can easily lead to pride. Looking down on others and even thinking you’re more spiritual mature but, the only measure in all things should be and is Jesus Christ, his glory and his suffering. Neither of these can compare to man’s suffering or glory we go partake in on the earth. So my little measly suffering I am going through is nothing compared to what Jesus did on the on the cross for me…..so to say the least that shut me up real quick lol but, it was such a beautiful revelation.

He went on to say that people indeed are the greatest gifts on this earth and that did I forget that he uses ALL things for my good. He uses people to fulfill his purpose upon the earth and even in our lives. Every person he has brought in my life has made me better. He has brought people in my life to encourage me, to propel me when I felt like I couldn’t go forward. He brought people in my life to love me to show me what his heart looks like in order that I may began to love also. Then he has brought people in my life to teach me lessons, to allow the uglies in my own heart to be brought to the light so that may repent and have a pure heart. He has brought people in my life who have hurt me which allows me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and bare much fruit for him. So that’s why this person and all people are a gift good or bad.

I would like to share two vision one from a pastor and the other from a man who went to heaven. The pastor stated the Lord gave him a vision one day of being taking to this art gallery and he saw a huge monument of a man beautifully chiseled from head to toe. This man looked exquisite almost out of this world he was in awe when he saw it and asked Jesus who is this man? and Jesus said “its you”. He was in speechless, then Jesus asked would you like to see the two man who created this masterpiece he said yes…and the Lord took him to the other side of the monument and he was in complete shock. There were two men he recognized very well. He actually had despised them for a time because they were two critics of his ministry. They came to church every Sunday, sat on the front row for years and wrote many articles to tear down his ministry however, the Lord told him to continue to love on them and forgive them. Jesus stated that he used them to bring out much fruit and virtue in him so in fact they brought the best out in him. Isn’t that amazing! The second vision was a man who went to heaven and he stated that the greatest attribute in heaven will not be the knowledge you gain, the things you see or have access too but it will be the citizens of heaven. Each person is like heaven, for they radiate the purest love and joy that you will ever encounter…haha isn’t that wonderful, each person is like heaven itself that makes me smile!

So if we would then began to see people as gifts as they are, if we see children as the greatest gift then we would no longer abort or even consider abortion. If we see family and friends as gifts, if we would see strangers as gifts, if we would see especially those who hurt as the greatest gifts because the Lord uses ALL things for his glory. If you give him the pain, the memory and see from his perspective he will use that person to chisel the most beautiful heart you will ever see….it will be Gods heart now in yours then all you will know how to do is to love everyone despite what they do because they are gift to you, being used to refine, purify and create the purest heart in you. So you can be all that God has called you to be!

Love waits patiently for God’s timing. Love is gentle and shows kindness to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect; nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love finds delight in the truth, not in what is wrong. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things—and still remains strong.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The Passion Translation

Contending With Contenment: Blaaah!

August 19, 2016August 19, 2016 From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

Last week I had my quarterly review with my manager about my performance here at the job. Funny, just now I was going to type that I could so see Jesus sitting in that meeting room at the large round table, right next to my manager probable glaring at me as she sat across from me but the Holy spirit rephrased that and said no He was sitting right next to you instead. I thought to myself of course Nana, duh Jesus always has my back lol. I walked away from that meeting with this scripture ringing in my ears :

Colossians 3:24
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

If I may be honest these past few weeks have been difficult. I have felt anxious and discontent at my job even though I know the Lord hasn’t told me to move yet or leave it. I just found myself praying for motivation to get up in the morning and go. You see, my manager is a believer and during the first quarter review she mentioned to me how I am so excited about Jesus and telling everyone about him which is great but my work also needs to reflect that excitement. That my passion and faith in Christ should touch every area of my life because if she was a non believer that could turn her off, your always preaching Jesus but slacking at your job. That I shouldn’t see her as my boss the Lord he gave me this job so I should do it well. I was like WOW….I knew it wasn’t here speaking that was so the Lord lol. Then all week I kept getting the bible verse Colossians 3:44 in devotionals, bible verses of the day, finally I was like okay Lord I hear help me.

However its been 3 long months and I started getting anxious again. At work to pass time I listen to youtube, I have listened to so many sermons, worship music, play list etc. So I found myself asking the Lord why am I here, oh how I wish I could just do a job serving you, doing something I love, better yet ship me off to some country I wouldn’t mind to work for you, , I am not married, no major responsibilities, I mean what am I waiting for Blaaah! Didn’t you say in your word:

1 Corinthians 7:34
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.

Sooooo Lord come on! lol So at least I thought all in my mind however as I was driving to work that day unbeknown to me that. I would have my review. I felt the Lord speak to my heart that the problem is not what your doing but your discontent. I felt him say if I gave you a husband now would it make your life better….I thought for a moment to myself hmmm waking up with my hubby next to me still going to this job?…no I wouldn’t. Then he said if I gave you an opportunity to go into missions in a different country and you had been there for 2 years doing the same thing everyday would you be happy?….hmmm no might get bored, If I had you go into fulltime ministry working with people not seeing any breakthrough would you be happy….I thought to myself well may…b… okay no I wouldn’t Lord. So I felt the Holy Spirit say the issue is not what your doing its your heart. I can give your hearts desire but if your heart and perspective is not yielded to me you will get bored easily, burned out, or doing it for the wrong reasons then that’s when you become ungrateful, discontent and unhappy and you miss the opportunities before you everyday.

I recalled the conversation we had on the way to work after leaving the meeting with my manager thinking that is so true. Its is my heart Lord because it shouldn’t matter what I do if I do it as unto you then I will always find joy in it because I love you and desire to please you. If I allow myself to find joy in anything else I can make an idol of my experienced, or even emotions and unfortunately finding my identity in what I do. So I told the Lord, fine give me your perspective and change my heart. If I can be honest at work I am usually coming in almost late by the skin of my teeth because I took a longer time in the prayer closet …smh lol then I get to work, check my Facebook for messages. Check my youtube channel respond to messages, find a good play list or what I am going to listen too by the time that’s done an hour can be gone. Then I work, in and out taking breaks a little because tired of staring at the computer which then has in turn got me looking pretty bad in front of my boss hence reflecting on my reviews. Honestly, I recall one time I was falling asleep and in the corner of my eye I saw and all white garment standing next to my cubicle then I jolted up and looked around and of course no one. In all seriousness, I believe it was really Jesus getting my attention to wake up! (LOL) Lord help me standing there in his all white garment

So I am sucking up my pouty lip and doing my job and all things unto the Lord by his grace. I realize my job is a great place to serve, there’s people there and wherever their are people Jesus is there too lol. Secondly, no more social media activity only after I get done with my productivity 100%. Last but which is first is that now I have placed in my heart the Lord is my boss. So I am going to leave on time, in practice to become a vessel of excellence not just when I am doing the so called ” Lords work” but doing my 9-5 job which is the ” Lord work” because sometimes we can get so stuck on our future asking the Lord when Lord, when. When the Lord is actually in the now and everything we do daily is a stepping stone to get closer to the purpose he has for us and the work he is doing in us!

God Carries A Picture Of Me In His Wallet!

August 5, 2016 From Jesus With Love2 Comments

So this term was coined by Pastor Todd White and when I first heard it all I could do was laugh at not only the truth in that statement but, the reality that our God is truly a proud parent of all his children. As believers sometimes it hard to receive Gods love. We here it used so loosely at time. God loves you and we think yea I know but,……..if we really search our hearts we have to ask yourself do you really know how loved you are by God, do you? Because I believe if we really knew how much God loved us we would live not only differently but accordingly. If we can be honest, including myself, sometimes our love for him can be so conditionally and I believe we have been taught that way. As if Gods love is conditional too, that when we go through hard times, death, suffering, trials, poverty, rejection, the list can go on that means God doesn’t love us or your not blessed. However, when we go through blessing, riches, elevation, promotion, and have favor with men that means God loves us. Such a twisted incorrect perspective which is such an injustice to our identity once we are saved. You see Jesus died on the cross because of your sin not for it, he died because your sin caused you to be not only separated from God the Father but from your true identity as his child walking in fellowship and communion with him. So he had to die because of your sin there fore redeeming you back to God the father so that you can now have fellowship and communion with him daily as Adam did. His blood restored your identity back to who you were before Adam sinned. That’s why he continues to call his children justified by the cross, justified by the blood, justified if we confess and believe in his son Jesus. Romans 8:30 Those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified, Justified: Just-as-if- you never sinned! YOU are a son & daughter of the Most High King period. That’s who you are right now, nothing can change that who yearns to have deep intimate relationship with all his children. That’s why God created us for relationship with him, he created us for himself that’s it. Its so simple but it sounds so foolish to those who are perishing

1 Corinthians 1:18
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

If you let that sink in, it blows your mind. I remember having that revelation of his love and its almost overwhelming. That God created the universe for us but created little ole me for himself. That I am the most precious commodity, I am his masterpiece, I am his favorite prized one, I am everything to him and despite all I have done and will do. His love, his adorations, his gaze, his glory, is focused on me so much so that He has now come to make his home inside of me because he loves me! That can blow anyone’s mind lol When I first read Psalm 139 and

Psalm 8:4-6
What is man that You are mindful of him and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels and have crowned him with glory and honor

I laughed because I thought to myself David gets it! I love King David because the revelation of Gods love for him and Israel made him even dance in his lossley garments in front of all Israel and he didn’t care one bit. 2 Samuel 6:14 Wearing a lined ephod, David was dancing before the LORD with all his might. You know so many times we walk around condemnation because we messed up but God doesn’t condemn you and never will because you are his child. We walk around in guilt or shame because of our past but when God sees you, he sees you as you never sinned your his child. We walk around victimized, hurt, & rejected by others but, God has never rejected you because of the finished work of Jesus blood you have been accepted as his child. We walk around thinking God is too busy, not really present, hard to reach, not really concerned with the details of our lives but, you are his child so just as he walked with Adam in the cool of the day he now walks with you every single second, of every single day, wherever you go. He so desperately wants you to be conscious of that because living a life WITH God is so much better than FOR him. As your perspective changes you no longer see yourself as a slave following rules and directions but as a child holding their fathers hand going on crazy, surprising, sometimes difficult bur rewarding adventure!

I love the song Pieces by Amanda Cook from Bethel Church because the lyrics are so beautiful and true. Many times in our relationship the Holy spirit has reminding me of Gods love through this song. May favorite parts of the lyrics is the first verse when she states :
Unreserved, unrestrained
Your love is wild
Your love is wild for me
It isn’t shy, its unashamed
Your love is proud
To be seen with me

So during my alone time with the Lord he showed me a beautiful picture in my heart of many of his children walking around with their heads down desponded, hopeless, feeling dirty, unclean, ashamed, condemned and he was in heaven shouting at the top of lungs with such excitement saying Look, look guys, you see that one, yup that’s my son. Oh ooooh look over there yup this one. She is mine that’s my daughter with such love and excitement he was boasting about them in front of all of heaven.
Some of these people were homeless, looked dirty, one was a prostitute, some others were just who were just ashamed of their past, what they had done or were doing. Some were so broken and hurt because of the rejection they faced from others and felt so isolated and alone. Yet, here God the Father was in so much, almost child like giddy excitement proudly boasting that is my child! Haha, that’s exactly what his love looks like its so unashamed and it proud to be seen with you regardless of what the world thinks of you, treats you or what people say. You are a child of God period, His love for you is truly unconditional period, He always is ever present with you and will NEVER leave you period and he wants you to know that and live this love out WITH him….period lol.So guess what, God has a picture of YOU in his wallet too boasting all day about you, because when he sees you he sees your true identity, his child, a heir to throne of the kingdom of God!

2 Corinthians 6:18
And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

God bless you child of God!

The Lord Loves To Use Broken Vessels

June 3, 2016June 15, 2016 From Jesus With Love1 Comment

You know so many of us yearn for the Lord to use us in mighty ways. We desire for the glory of God to be manifested and revealed in our lives so that he would be magnified. Funny thing is that exactly his desire for each and every single one of us however, many times we feel as if we have to be perfect. That we have to clean ourselves up of our past, our struggles, and are weaknesses for him to use us. As believes sometimes we can automatically equate a mature believer with their strengthen. Unfortunately many times in “Christianity” there a perception that you have to be a STRONG Christian, strong woman, strong man, strong wife, strong husband etc. Well, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a strong Christian or should I say it shouldn’t be put in that way. We have some have been given a greater measure of grace only to fulfill the purpose of God in their lives. Didn’t Paul tell us to boast in our weaknesses, so why as believers do we have the hardest time doing that?

2 Corinthians 12:9
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me

During my alone time with the Lord, he gave me wonderful impression of Three Vessels. One filled with full to the top, Second filled running over and the Third cracked and broken with water pouring out of the holes. I realize we use this imagery a lot to symbolize ourselves as believers. We should be empty so the Lord can fill us up so we can overflow and pour out to others. Which is accurate however, the Lord showed me a beautiful different perspective, his perspective and out of all three vessels the most favored was the broken and cracked one.
A Vessel Filled To The Top:

(side not couldn’t find a better picture lol)
This vessel has been emptied of themselves and now is filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, however there is one of two slight problems that can occur if this vessel is not careful. They can become stagnate, compliance or even lukewarm. They have been so full with the things of God but, no outlet to pour out which can in turn make them very comfortable. Or this vessel can become so full of pride, believing they know it all, have it all, no one can tell them nothing and unfortunately they rarely are willing to pour out their wisdom on others as if it comes with a cost. So be mindful not to become a vessel full of the knowledge, wisdom and gifts of God and not pouring out to others

Second Vessel: Filled to the top overflowing

Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, there is one slight problem that can occur if this vessel is not careful. You see in this vessel, when poured out, it empty itself to be filled up again just to be pour out. So when it becomes empty, it can become weary, tired, and even dry at times. Until they are completely filled up again which could even take awhile. Then just to pout it all out and began the cycle over. So be mindful not to become a vessel pouring out to others all the time and leaving yourself empty.

Third Vessel: “Favored Vessel”- The Broken Vessel

Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, this one has many cracks, and many holes which were brought on by wounds from their past brought on from themselves or others, struggles that seem to resurface, and many, many weakness. Now don’t get me wrong the other vessels had some cracks and holes but they have been patched up so not many could see them but this one is very open, honest and transparent. The not only allow the Lord to pour out of them but to pour out of the very places of pain, of struggles, and of weakness They can never be too full, they can never be empty because they have cracks and holes therefore the Lord is continuously pouring into them and they are continuously pouring out to others. The flow never stops.

In his book The Final Quest, (side note I encourage everyone to read that book is sooo anointed!) Pastor Rick Joyner is told that in heaven we will be able to see the wounds of Jesus, and not only His wounds, but the scars that all of His chosen ones have taken for His sake. These are the medals of honor in heaven. He is told that we will carry these glorious scars forever, as Jesus does. It shows that all who carry them love God and His truth more than their own lives. He goes on to say that true leaders of God’s people, who carry genuine spiritual authority, will first prove their devotion in this way, through suffering for His name sake.

Isn’t that amazing! When we can become willing vessels, transparent vessels about our past, our struggles, our pains, our weakness and pour out to others from that place the Lord loves it. He looks at it and says “Aaa Ha Now that is a Vessle I can use. When we are open about our weaknesses truly the Lord is magnified in every single way because those who look at us will ask themselves, How is that possible this vessel is standing, how is it possible that it can even be used but what they will see is Gods light radiating out of all our cracks and holes. Furthermore, those who we pour into will know if the Lord can use that broken, messed up, cracked vessel than he can use me too!

So what cracks and holes are you hiding that the Lord is trying to pour out of? Don’t be afraid, don’t allow shame to keep your light hidden and your overflow stopped up. Guess what he wants to use you just as you are…..Cracks in all!