Be The Light

From Jesus With Love2 Comments

This morning I was getting down from my bed and my computer fell from the top bunk and cracked. Furthermore, I had been chided by Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel of not taking care of things well. Which is so true because I had just got this computer fixed a week before so I was devastated and disappointment in myself. Since the Lord was telling me to began writing again. Also I do all my work on the channel using this laptop so I was frustrated thinking this had to be the enemy. 

I came before the Lord during prayer as I felt he began speaking to me. 

Jesus began,

“My beloved don’t be too hard on yourself. It would’ve been wise to leave it at a safer place, but who do you think knocked it over?”

The devils Lord

 Jesus responded,

“Yes, Beloved I want you from now on to anoint and bless any equipment or ministry materials you receive. The devils hate the assignment I have given you and  will do all they can to frustrate my plans, but I wont allow it. I do however allow these things to not only cause you to be aware, but to pray more and to grow in patience. An offering a gift you can give to me for the salvation of souls.”

Okay Lord forgive me I renounce frustration, impatience and bitterness.

Jesus continued,

“Now the readings I gave you and the songs I played were all about faith beloved. Did you  not ask me to make you a great women of faith?”

Yes Lord I just didn’t know the cost lol

Jesus responded,

“Well, my little one with great faith comes great test, great breaking and great patience endurance. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not yet seen. To hope in the impossible takes great faith and great faith starts with a  small mustard seed of faith. So I’m not asking for your faith to be big more like I am asking you to hope greatly that I am who I say I am and that I can do all things. This generation will be known for the great exploits and showmanship of my power than any other generation. I am calling my people to have great hope in me, to believe as the times get darker so will great faith arise. It must arise to shader the darkness and cause the enemy to retreat. For so long my people have been held captive by fear, fear of the me, fear of delusion, fear of man and fear of the enemy, but I am calling my people to believe again, hope again in great faith the things that I will do in and through them. For those who are desiring to move in the supernatural gifts, it is available for you. The treasure of heaven is available for all my people all they must do is ask. I have a storehouse where the angels wait to hear the command of my people to release gifts,but my people don’t ask rather they fear it and walk in so much unbelief. Come to me my people come to the Father who owns a cattle on a thousand hills and gives to all generously who ask. Give yourself entirely to me in consecration and holiness and greater works will you do and see all for my glory.”

 Lord if I may I remember you told me that in order to have faith “take more risk”

Jesus continued,

Yes beloved one, my people fear being rejected or doubt the results of things,but step out in faith and obedience and allow me to do the rest. Rarely is there a time a sincere prayer is prayed for a soul and returned void. Sometimes the fruit you don’t see but there is always fruit when you step out in faith. So my people I’m calling faith to rise even in you now. Do you have the lame, sick around you step out in my love to touch them. I am their hope and believe I can and will do the impossible and I might just surprise you. (smiling) Im calling my people to count the cost and began to live out the life of what they say they believe

Do you believe I can raise the dead?

Do you believe I can heal the sick?

Do you believe I can open blind eyes?

Do you believe I can transform a hardened heart?

Do you believe I can do all these things through you?

If you say you believe then what are you doing about it?

My beloved ones take risk hope against hope believe I tell you believe ask for the this gift began to walk in them now. When you see someone in need ask for me to stretch out my hands through your heart and touch them and leave the results to me. Great works will I do in and through you

Lord Can I share the vision you gave me a while back is that okay?

Yes, beloved it will greatly inspire others and to what I have in store for this generation for those who believe . Remember deep faith comes from Intimacy with me.”

So I had a vision family, of a family member who was away from home. I received a letter from them and I was cleaning up my room. When I touched his envelope I immediately went into an open vision. I saw this family member being met by the youth leader of my church at the time and his friends in the parking lot of my church for prayer. The all laid hands on him and began to pray I was just watching. No street lights were on so it was dark however as they began to pray I saw little bulbs of light over my family members head. Then as I looked closely they were getting bigger and I realized they were angels. They began to descend and ascend up and down as they were praying for this family member. The light then overshadowed them all as they were all glowing. Then my family member changed into a man who I knew was on drugs and after they prayed he was completely transformed and restored. He was so in shock seeing the physical transformation of himself he asked to join us. We said sure, then there was a group of us as we went into the streets simply touching the homeless, prositutes, drug addicts and they were immeadielty healed by a touch. They too where in shock and all asked to follow us. Then I saw a dark hill, then one light, then two lights, then three and four then so forth until the whole hill was lite up then I cam out of the vision. The scripture that came to mind was “ a city on a hill”. Mt 5:14 

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.

 That is what this last generation will be like!

The Power Of Your Prayers

From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

March 14, 2020


I woke up that day feeling somewhat somber, it had snowed and there was no sun. I left the front community house and went into St. Joseph’s hermitage to pray. I love being away, alone with my beloved. Just to contemplate him, to pour out my heart to him and just to be in his presence.

Whiles in prayer, praying the rosary I saw Blessed Mother so beautiful in her glory.  She was hovering over every prayer petition listening so attentively and then acting on it immeaditley. First I prayed for the schools and I saw her hovering over all the universities praying along side with me, then I prayed over the children as she extended her arms and mantle over all the children of the world. Then I prayed over all the mosque and nations of Islam for conversion. I saw her hovering over different mosque releasing graces and dictating  prayers in her authority. Indeed she is truly the Queen of Heaven. In awe at this vision and still a bit unsure I came before the Lord after prayer saying,

Lord is there anything on your heart? I feel as though you were giving me some thoughts on the power of prayer. Oh Lord by faith I write ( I said smiling),l forgive me Lord


Jesus began,

“Oh my little one, my beloved one, I am right here. I see how you have been assailed with so many doubts and fears. This is an assignment not only against you, but the community, and the world at large especially in your nation. I want you all to began praying against a spirit a fear, doubt, and unbelief. Run to my Mother in the rosary to take down this strong man of fear. That will keep many captive, held in darkness and many moving by their emotions rather than my will. So please pray against these things. Truly, when your focus is kept on me alone, I alone am your rock and will give you peace. I alone am your anchor admits the prevailing winds and waters that desire to turn you away from the direction I am taking you dear one, so pray.

 I do want to talk with you concerning the power of prayer. Indeed how sublime it is. It’s never by the eloquence of your speech, how much scripture you know or the words you even say, but it’s about the condition and state of your heart. Prayer is to look within yourself, where I dwell and lift all things to heaven. Wether it’s good or bad and give me thanks. It is to yield yourself to the will of the Father and placing yourself in your rightful position. Right before my throne, trusting confidently that I hear the petition of your heart. Your every thought and sigh that is lifted to me. For you are indeed seated in heavenly places. Oh how my people have lost this and continue to walk in unbelief and lack of faith in prayer. Do they not realize I desire to move through my vessels when they pray. 

History is indeed written by prayer. If the knew the power of their most simplest prayer revival, change would’ve have come so long ago, but once again traditions and eloquence of man have taken their position instead.

 Many shy away from prayer because of so many lies that have creeped in the church. That you must be anointed, that prayer is a gift some have and some don’t. That you must be able to prayer with large words or intention, or the worst of all that you can’t pray as a sinner. That I wont hear you. Lies, lies lies, I hear the prayers of the most lowliest of people and of the most wicked. For the sun shines on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:45).

 It is about the state of your heart. If anyone would pray with belief, faith, and trust that I will hear them. I am there with ears opened to hear what they say knowing already their need before thy speak (Matthew 6:8). All of heaven hears the prayers of the people on earth. The most purest of hearts are those prayers said by those who pray my will. So that is the most important thing to seek when praying. Is to seek my will and give me thanks for what I do and I allow. 

 Also my Mothers prayers are POWERFUL. So many lies have been told concerning the rosary. How the demons hate her and her intercession. They will do anything to stop or hinder the prayers of the rosary from going forth, but I will not allow it. Tell them to pray the rosary, pray with intention and wholeheartedness. Seek to have my Mother as their prayer partner. Just as you saw, as you pray she takes every request as her own and she stays with those request until it comes to fulfillment according to my will. Indeed her Immaculate Heart will triumph in the end. I say all these things to encourage you, those in the community and my little ones who are praying. Who feel they is no fruit to be seen or found. My people continue to pray, keep praying. Your are sowing seeds on good soil, fields and grounds. In time very soon there will be copious fruit ripe at the seems. As praises rise up from the ends of the earth because of my mercy and faithfulness. So pray, dear ones pray.” 

-From Jesus With Love

You Are My Treasure

From Jesus With Love1 Comment

March 12, 2020


 I woke up this morning with my body feeling so sore and very uneasy. I wasn’t sure if I had offended the Lord in anyway or it was a suffering because it was really hard to connect  with Jesus in worship. However, all the songs he was playing over me were about His peace and not to fear so I felt in my heart this was an attack of some sort. 

I ended up talking to Mother Clare and Father  Ezekiel last night for a while. iI was a rough day when I felt so discouraged thinking I had been deceived in discernment with one of the messages I got from Jesus.  It took me into self pity real fast. 

However, they both helped me discern that message in question was from the Lord. Help me Lord, truly to combat this fear, doubt and unbelief in hearing your voice.

Then the community gathered together in the morning and Blessed Mother began to speak to Mother Clare.  She was crying because she had missed their intimate relationship they once had, It was so sweet and encouraged me to go much more deeper with Blessed Mother when praying the rosary as well. We prayed for those affected with the virus. After receiving the Lord I feel so at peace thank you Jesus!

I came to him saying, My beloved Lord is there anything on your heart?

Jesus began,

“’I am right here beloved indeed the graces are flowing on this mountain, in this community in a beautiful way. You all are my faithful ones.  The ones who answered the invitation to my banquet when my Father called. You are the lame, the crippled and blind ones in the eyes of the world, but to me you are my beautiful treasures. For it is the sick that are in need of God not the righteous. Many have turned aside and walked in their own way, but you all have been faithful to endure and preserver with every test that has come against this community and because of your love for me you have withstood every attempt to get you off this mountain. So you all will be richly rewarded indeed encourage, your brother.

(Here Jesus speaking of a soul in the community, one of my brothers. Who has been desiring to hear the Lords voice, but feel hopeless in his efforts)

Many have the same sentiments. Your brothers, tell them in time as they press in the very same grace to hear and see me will given to them. They must just excercise their faith and cast away doubt, fear, pride and comparison. Which stops many from entering into conversations with me . You know a thing or two about that beloved.

(At this point I was writing, but still doubting and of course as usual Jesus reads my thoughts)

 Please stop your worrying, how that hurts me so much. Your lack of trust and confidence in me after all I have done and all we have been through Mary Elisha. 

(My heart just melted when he said that)

 I desire to talk with you. I desire to fellowship and communion with you. If I could have my way we would talk for hours, but it would be too much for your mind to comprehend little one. My words are of eternal importance so I must give you a little at a time. There is only so much you can take in, meditate on, and apply to your life circumstances. Even now I see the intensity you are feeling. These will go with time, remember the enemy hates this more than anything beloved. He will do whatever he can in order to take this grace and gift from you. He will do this with all of you so share with them some of the obstacles you have had to overcome in hearing me.”


Lord sorry I guess I didn’t want to inflate myself or stir anyone up in jealously because I have been there,. You know like “Ooh I am hearing from the Lord”.


Jesus responded,

“Well my beloved one it’s not about you dear. It’s for other so please share. It will strengthen your brethren and those who desire this intimacy with me”


Okay Lord

“That is all for now little one continue to come before me every day and allow me to express my heart to you dear. Continue to pray for this community, and Mother Clare especially she will need much wisdom and discernment in the coming days for precise direction. I love you so much words could not be enough to say. You are my beloved in whom I am well pleased.

– From Jesus With Love

“Many Have Taken My Mercy For Granted, Pray!”

From Jesus With Love2 Comments

I had just come from a ministry trip down in the valley and from talking to Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel about how it went. I was headed back to my place when I  saw my brothers outside conversing so I joined them for a bit although it was pretty late. I got home around 11:30 pm and I  was so tired. However, I desired to seek the Lord to see what was on his heart for me to do with the rest of my evening I got “Laziness”  in the Bible Promises. 

I knew it was about me journaling because I told him when I got back today I would journal tonight to hear his heart, but anxiety was overtaking me again….goodness. So I asked the Lord again and got “Hospitality” which always means to me for me He is wanting me to use my gifts. I knew it, so I asked the Lord again if he wanted me to journal got “Holy Spirit”.


Per my previous blog the Lord has impressed on my heart to begin journaling daily again.  Oh boy how I was still struggle with that…easy as breathing huh ,Lord lol. That morning I had to rush through prayer because we had to go down to the valley to visit our neighbors and what fun that was.  Since being up here on the mountain the Lord had put it on Mother Clare heart to start a food ministry. Where we go door to door giving families in the valley at the base of the mountain food but also ministering to them the love of Jesus.  We started with 8 families just simply knocking on doors asking if they wanted food. It has since grown to 16 people and 13 families in total we now do bible study with and some even receive communion!

I hold their names, their prayers and family situation deep in my heart. Most that day were welcoming, but I just felt in my heart that many had dead faith you know. I’m not sure if I’m being presumptuous, but maybe I am. Everyone seemed to say they knew the Lord but seemed so formal in their conversation about him. I was sensing that I needed to pray “the dead bones would rise in the valley and dead faith be set a flame for the Lord. Here I am praying for dead faith to come to life upon my neighbors when I am struggling with the same thing. Faith to believe that Jesus will speak to me and that he wants to speak to me.

So I came before Jesus with all these thoughts in my heart from what had taken place that day. Lord  you wanted me to come before you believing you would speak to me by faith. I am coming to you to hear your heart.

Lord is there anything you want to say?


Jesus began,

“My heart is breaking for this nation my beloved one. They have no idea what things are in store for them. Terrible, terrible, plans that man and the evil one have concocted to cause this nation upheaval and distress. I want you to pray, pray, pray, little one. Pray for your nation, pray for your president, and pray for your loved ones that they may see the truth. Past the media lies, see the truth past the walls in their conscience they have created in order to not go any deeper with me. Many are so blind by the numerous offenses and sins that are done against me every day. Many have taken my mercy for granted dear one, but I will no longer keep relenting if the hearts of the people in this nation continue on in their stiff neck ways. Then I must allow what is planned to wake many up, my little one. How my heart grieves for my children. So many that continue to reject my love and spit on my mercy. Many who call themselves my own feel they have no need of my mercy because in their eyes they are good. They are in right standing with me, but that is just it..it’s in their Own Eyes and not in my mirror. Pray that hardened hearts would be soften and they would be willing to take a good look in my mirror and be humbled. Remember in the Rick Joyner book how he too shuddered at the door of judgment but, once entering through the door found it to be the greatest treasure and door in heaven. He then asked that he may come to know my judgments more clearly on earth that he may serve me more perfectly. 

(As an aside here Jesus is referencing to the Rick Joyner book called “Final Quest” which I encourage every believer to read!)

Jesus continued,

I have given you that grace daughter and have answered that prayer, you prayed so long ago. Now pray for your brethren to do the same. To seek my judgments here on earth that they may indeed serve me more perfectly and that they wouldn’t then be judged when they see me at the throne.”

I said,

 Lord I hope this is you. 

( I was hesitating, doubting thinking these were my own thoughts. Furthermore, I was struggling because the words didn’t seem as regal and wise as Mother Clare’s “Jesus”,  or St. Faustina’s “Jesus” etc. You see, here I was comparing myself with others. I’m such a hotmess, Lord forgive me. 

Jesus sensed these thoughts in my heart and said,
“Keep writing my little one I speak to you in a way that you will understand and others will understand as well. As simple as a child because that what you are to me, my child. That is all for now my dear one, continue to come before me every day writing because it’s not for your sole benefit. As I mentioned before, but for others my dear one. This fast is very serious and I take your prayers and those of the community very serious. It’s a sweet aroma to me and all of heaven, so continue to pray for your nation and your prayers will be honored. Now rest in me tonight beloved”

-From Jesus With Love

Hearing From Me Is As Easy As Breathing

From Jesus With Love3 Comments

Hello family,

It has been a long while since I wrote a blog forgive me for my absence. I have been really busy here in the community and also my Youtube Channel however, the Lord reminded me that I wasn’t feed the flock on the website. Moreover,

he really wanted to get his messages out. To spread his writings and words far and wide to bring hope to many. Before I was just writing down things I have experienced and lessons Jesus was teaching me. However, now Jesus has restored the grace of hearing his voice. So I will be sharing the messages he gives me everyday so that you maybe encouraged and strengthened as well!

Since my fall in discernment last year I lost the grace to hear his voice. If I can be honest I was saddened but a bit relieved because I would always become so full of anxiety when trying to have conversations with Jesus or write down what I thought he was saying. The devils would pound me with doubt, unbelief, fear and so much anxiety that I would be deceived again and more over that I was just talking to myself. So it had 9 months and I had became comfortable just getting rhema words from him and getting instructions through the books I read. Also through my spiritual covering as well. Mother Clare who is my spiritual mother, told me that she wanted me to began journaling again. So despite by hesitation and fears I had to be obedient so I began today writing all that happened during prayer

I woke up this morning after having a dream with a friend of mine in it where he gave me some ice cream to eat. I ate it all there were more to the dream but I didn’t remember I then asked Holy Spirit the dreams with me eating something is that spiritual warfare/ witch craft and I got in the BP “Holy Spirit” 1 John 2:27. By the way BP is referring to the Bible Promise I use for discernment. It is a tool Jesus has given us to use to go deeper in discerning his will and its only $2.99 on Amazon. I encourage every believer to use this for discernment as well.  So thought, uh oh and felt I needed to really pray in the spirit. 

Then I went outside to use the restroom and I saw on a bucket the word “ SCEPTER” and I knew that meant authority. I felt the Lord was reminding me to use my authority. As I set with him in adoration for a bit I began to readings from the Bible and various holy books to get some direction from Him. I got readings on “Guilt” and the last reading I got was titled “Hearing and Seeing Jesus”. What stuck out to me that it said “99% of the time we don’t hear or see Jesus because of our unbelief or false guilt …self-hatred of ourselves so thought the Lord then maybe wanted to speak to me”

I thought okay maybe Jesus wants me to practice again hearing his voice.

So I came to him writing in my journal saying,

 Lord from all of the readings you gave me this morning in prayer I feel in my heart you are wanting us to use our scepters, the authority given to us by consecrated a fast and praying for repentance for ourselves and our nation Lord?

Lord is there anything on your heart?

Jesus began,
My Beloved daughter why so tense and full of anxiety I am right here with you. I have always been and dwell within you little one. No need to fear, my desire is that you would began to hear and see me more clearly but, it has been a water gate of guilt that has stopped you from coming to me. Hence all the readings I gave you today were in reference to the steep condemnation and unbelief you were walking in. There is much I want to tell you and much I desire for you to be prepared for. 

I am so proud of you my  little one, Mother Mary Elisha that name suites you very much. I will use you to speak as an oracle on my behalf. Many won’t listen, many will rebel and many will disregard my words to you because of your stature, your demeanor, and how you look but, be not dismayed you are my voice.  I have put my words in to your mouth even though many times they may be strong words don’t fear. 

For as Father Ezekiel said your words, your prayers, will be those that snatch your brethren from the edge. So don’t fear little one, the fruit you bare will be much later but, walk in obedience to me and to your superiors Mother and Father Ezekiel. You are indeed blessed to have them as your shepherd and overseers. They adore you and love you very much, don’t take their wisdom and council for granted. Never do that dear one, I will always honor your obedience to them rather than any sacrifice you give. For when you honor them you, honor me. 

Now I want to talk to you about what is to come. I have called you here on this mountain as a beacon of hope for all nations and a source of light for those who are in darkness. Don’t think everyone I send here will be fit to walk in the Franciscan vocation but, many will come in their season to grow, to be stretched, to be purified, and then to be taught if they are willing to yield to the authorities I have put overhead in this community. If they don’t they too will leave in a while but, your job my little one is to love, love, and then love some more. You here not only to pray but, to be an example  of my love to all your brothers in lowliness, in humility, and in meekness. Submit to all my beloved and don’t take offense I want you to really work on that my love 

 Lord I can’t work at anything please help give me the grace Lord too truly have this attitude of heart its so hard for me Lord

Jesus responded,

“I know beloved that is one of your greatest weaknesses and my greatest strength in you. So the graces have been given, but you must have a better resolve dear one. Don’t get lax daisy and when you feel that way just call upon me and I will be near. Of course always run to my Mother, she is a treasure trove full of graces and mercies dear one. She is the one cradling, nurturing and pruning you through all of this. You are my special gift to her dear one.”


Thank you Lord!

(However, I was doubting again and being filled with anxiety to stop writing and Jesus could sense that)

Jesus read my thoughts,

“I see you tensing up already. Ease up my little one, ease up take a deep breath. I want you to write all that I say to your heart. Receiving my thoughts and love for you as easy as breathing

 Lord you make it sounds so easy, (at this point I was thinking Jesu has to be kidding it is so hard for me, the anxiety and the doubt are overwhelming)

Jesus responded,

“But it is my beloved when you have faith and confidence in me. That it’s not what you do, or how you feel but you come in my presence because you know I love you. You know I desire you and you know I want to speak to you. Not only for your sake for the sake of others my little one

 Oh Lord please helps


Jesus continued,

“I am here for you my beloved I truly am. Share these things with Mother Clare let her council be your guide dear one. You are truly blessed, extremely blessed dear just always remember the greater the privilege the greater the humility dear. That should cause you to go lower, lower, and even lower loving your littleness and nothingness and seeing me as your all in all.

Me: Okay Lord thank you so much Jesus I trust in you, Jesus I trust in you, Jesus I trust in you

That was the end of the message from Jesus, with Love!

God Do You See Me

From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

Screen Shot 2019-12-21 at 6.46.28 PM

 

The God who sees

The God who knows you

The God who created you

The God who formed you

Isaiah 43:1

But now, thus says the Lord who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel;

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name; you are Mine.

For the past two days this scripture has been going through my mind and heart as I began to really meditate deeply on each word, each sentence over and over again allowing it to sink deeply in my heart. That this was not just a prophecy that Isaiah was speaking to Israel nor was it just for our for Father Jacob but this scripture was meant for me…for you. The Lord is speaking directly to me and to everyone of his children who have felt forgotten, rejected, and even worthless. This all began after watching the amazing TV sereis “ The Chosen” which I encourage all believers to watch and to please share with everyone. It has touched my heart in way that I can’t explain. It’s a sereis about the life of Jesus, I know some maybe reading this and thinking yea we have seen so many Jesus movies but, this one is different. The writing is so impeciable that it has to be truly Holy Spiirt inspired and heavenly indeed. It depicts not only the life of Jesus but, his heart, personality, character also that of all the apostles and their lives before encountering Jesus. You get to know each one, their own stories and life who they were and how they became different after meeting the Messiah.  It draws you in so deeply, and the first season leaves you hanging for so much more. 

The first episode introduces Matthew, Simon Peter , Andrew, Nicodemus and the main character of the episode Mary Magdalene. It shows her life in despair not only by being a prostitue by the name of “lilith” but dealing with demonic manifistations that cause her to go into spells where the demons attack people. It shows her in the beginning as a small girl , innocent and scared ccoming to her father who remindes her to recite Isaiah 43:1 anytime she is afriad. She has a doll that she is holding and now older has kept that doll and tries to recite the prayers after the demonic spell but to no avial  she tares the prayer up and throws it in the water. She becomes hopeless and was about to commit sucicde then Jesus comes. As she enters a tavern drinking a concution to num her from the pain Jesus, the Messiah appears seemingly out of no where telling her that she doesn’t have to do that any more. The demons within her want to run from Jesus so she asked Him to leave her alone and begans to walk out of the tavern. Jesus follows her out and calls her by her real name “Mary of Magdala”. She is utter shock and says who are you and he recites Isiah 43:1….Thus says the Lord who created you…
It ends with her breaking in tears in his arms as he frees her from all the demons.

This scene has replayed over and over in my mind. I have never been a prostitue or raped but, how I can relate to Mary Magdalene if we were honest we all can. I was once a girl who was hurt by the world and striving to be seen. I was once a girl who was afraid, felt so forgotten by God and thought my prayers fell on empty ears. I was once a a girl tormented by demonic attacks, so fearful of the dark and thought the demons had power over me. I was once a girl who was insecure and wasn’t happy with who I was. I was once a girl who felt hopeless thinking “this is the story of my life” nothing would ever change as certain cycles would happen over and over again.  THEN I MET HIM, I MET JESUS and just one look my way changed everything.

It was through my first prophetic word from my cousin October 2014 after 29 years of living life for myself, praying empty prayers, crying out to the Lord but not seeing any manifestation when she said “God has not forgotten you…help is on the way”  with tears in my eyes that I realized “He sees me”. He had heard every cry of my heart before then, had heard every prayer and catched every tear, he saw me. Then after that I made a decision to give my life to him fully surrendering Jan 1, 2015 telling him I was afraid to give him complete control but, I would if he wanted it then immeaditely my phone dinged with a notification which happened to be the bible verse of the day 

Isaiah 41:10
Don’t be afraid for I am your God, Don’t be discouraged for I am with you. I am here to help you and strengthen you. I will lift you up victoriously with my right hand

“He saw me again and answered me” I was in tears, God sees me. You beloved one, reading this God sees you too, he hears you, He is right there with you, and he will never leave you. Since seeing this episode my heart has been burden for the many who feel forgotten by God the many who don’t realize how personal and familiar he is in our day to day lives. He is God who does life with us and he is speaking all the time but, many don’t recognize it. As we tend to base on our relationship with God on how are lives are going rather than who He is. Hagar is great example being some one of a lower class in her time, a servant to Sarah, Abraham wife and not only that but his mistress who bore Ishmael. Who wasn’t even the promised child but when Sarah got upset with Hagar and jealous kicking her and Ishamel out of the house God saw her and met her where she was at.In the wilderness with a hungry child who was dying, a servant, low income, of no worth in the eyes of the world, a mistress, with a bastard child yet God saw her and heard her cry and delivered her. As she cried out “He is the God who sees”

Genesis 16:13
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

I don’t know what is going on in your life, or who the world has labled you to be. You may be of no worth in the eyes of the world, your peers, your family, your loved one or even your spouse. You may feel so alone, hurting so bad, tormented even but I am here to tell you that God sees you beloved. He knows you by name, He created you and formed every detail of your being. From the number of hairs on your head, to that that figure you don’t like so much, to that nose you complain about to that character flaw you wish you could get rid of, to that heart only He can see and repair. Yes my beloved one, He knows you by name, so don’t fear anymore. Don’t fear the storm that is surrounding you, don’t fear the past that you regret or the future that you cannot see, don’t fear being alone because He will always be with you. He has redeemed every detail of your life and you are his. Before the foundation of the world, yes, the Holy One of Israel, Jesus Christ breathed you from his heart  and sent you into this world. And the day you were born he told all of heaven and earth “THIS ONE, IS MINE”. You are His beloved and he has great things in store for you don’t give up He loves you. Help is on the way…God sees you.

-From Jesus With Love

Finally Tasting The Sweetness of The Hidden Life

From Jesus With Love1 Comment

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              Psalm 34:8 

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Yesterday, was my 35th birthday and it was by far the best birthday I ever had because I had finally tasted the sweetness of the hidden life! The Lord had given me that rhema so many times this past year and the most painful times in my life. I struggled with that word and began to ask the Lord to please help me then to taste the sweetness because all I kept feeling was pain. You see too hide yourself in the Lord is one thing but, to be hidden by God is another. Many of us want to be in the public eye, want our world to surround around us, to be noticed, recognized, honored and esteemed by others. However, I now know the hidden life is where its at! Especially a hidden life in Christ where your virtues and gifts go unnoticed, people tend to think of you as insignificant and where you live a life in obscurity in the eyes of the world but, tasting the very real, sweet and physical presence and love of our Lord.  I was reading one of the holy books where it mentioned that “Jesus loved his life of obscurity more than he did his public life where he was known for the sign and wonders he performed”.

We live in a generation that despises obscurity and has such a compulsion to share everything. With social media everything becomes news, publicity, instant, such a strong desire to show others what is going on in our lives and we become self centered then God centered even as christians. Especially, if you are called to ministry there is such a tendency to want to expose yourself, promote yourself and your ministry. Rather, than allowing the Lord to keep you tucked away, hidden, in that dark room where he can process you, train you, teach you, grow you, stretch you and build you up. We can despise that hidden place the Lord calls us too because there you have no praise, no respect, no honor from men but, we have it from the Lord. Only if we would realize and desire that would be enough, only then can you tase the sweetness of the hidden life.

I struggled with that for a long while when the Lord called me to lay everything down to follow him. Every year he would continuously tell me to wait..wait…wait… and wait some more. I didn’t understand what it is I was waiting for as I began to take my eyes off of Him and look to others in comparison who seemed to be doing wonderful things for the Lord. It seemed he would continue to sit me on the shelf and push me back further and further. I now realize he was drawing me deeper and deeper to himself! Away from any creature that my affection will solely before him alone. Oh, how I have prayed that and desired that with my whole heart and this year he has cleaned the throne room of my heart where all that sits is him! Every birthday I would make it a big deal, throw big parties, have photoshoots, worship nights, dinners however, this year felt different. After going through one of the most toughest trials in my walk as I answered the call to a religious life as a Franciscan sister. Which cost me almost all my relationships, friendships, comforts and titles. I found myself truly now hidden in Christ and stripped of everything besides the lover of my soul. I found myself so full of peace, joy, contentment, hope and such great love words can’t even explain. The pain of having everything and everyone removed from me was so worth now having Jesus alone in the throne room of my heart and the center of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!!!

I had told him that I wanted to offer my birthday for those souls who were forgotten, rejected, abandoned, and felt so unloved. That all the consolations, gifts and graces he would give me for my birthday would be given to those souls instead . I prayed that he would make those in my community forget my birthday and I wouldn’t tell anyone as well. I deactivated my facebook so no one could reach out or would remember because I wanted to be forgotten and take on the cross of those who are forgotten.  I wanted my celebration to between me and Jesus hidden in his heart. What do you know, the Lord answers my prayer! lol.  I woke up that morning with a praise song on my heart as rushed into the pasture to our Blessed Mothers Praying tree to worship with the Lord and all the saints. I had the most amazing time ever!!! I found myself before the physical presence of Jesus as a priest I had my monstrance before me ( which is an open or transparent receptacle in which the consecrated Host is exposed for veneration)
 on some crates as I danced and worshiped all morning long with Jesus, the saints and the angels. I always have a playlist and ask holy spirit to pick the songs and he even played a birthday song which was so awesome letting me know how present he truly was. There were many times I broke down in tears, sobbing at God’s faithfulness in my life and his immense mercy towards me. That he had answered the cry of my heart all those nights, trials, battles, I would get on my knees asking him that I wanted more of him, that I wanted him to be my sole desire, that I wanted  to know his heart and be one with him, that I wanted to be filled with his spirit…. he has answered. As I was on my knees before His physical presence he had indeed given me himself fully, body, soul and divinity to me. That He had now come become my sole desire and affection after stripping me of everyone and everything all I had was him. In obsucrity, on my birthday, on my knees, with no one else around before Blessed Mothers sacred praying tree in the wilderness. I had finally found and tasted the sweetens of the hidden life!

So my dear friend, don’t despise humble beginning, don’t despise that hidden place the Lord has you in or is calling you into. A life out of the public eye in the wilderness in a retreat to the closest heart that matters. That of your Lord and Savior in complete obscurity to those in the world but, very visible, known and lavishly loved by the lover of your soul Jesus. There in lies true happiness, true joy, true peace, true purpose, true contentment and true sweetness!

 

 

“The hidden life seems gloomy to you because you have never tasted it’s sweetness”

-Jesus
(rhema word)

-From Jesus With Love

NOTHING Will Stop Me From Doing The Will Of God

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rhemas.php

SNEER a contemptuous or mocking smile, remark, or tone.

PERSECUTION: hostility and ill-treatment, especially because of race or political or religious beliefs

THREATS: a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done.

SUFFERING: The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship

HUNGER:a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to eat.

COLD: of or at a low or relatively low temperature, especially when compared with the human body.

FLATTERY: excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one’s own interests.

ENTREATY: an earnest or humble request.
FRIENDSHIPS: a relationship between friends.

 

I received this rhema from the Lord months ago and now how I know so well why he gave it to me. In these past few months I have experienced all the above with such intensity to detour and derail me from what the will of God is for my life but by his grace Nothing has stopped me. This walk with Jesus has been a lonely, narrow and many times painful road. Yet, every time I have been met with resistance the Lord continues to give me the grace to not only preserver, endure but to say “yes’ to him. He did say …

Matthew 7:14
How NARROW is the gate and DIFFICULT the road that leads to life, and few find it.

Oh how we can forget that so easily in a generation and culture where especially in the western world following Jesus doesn’t seem to cost much because the Gospel has become comfortable, self-seeking, world and people pleasing, prosperity driven Gospel. Which is so far removed from what Jesus said Luke 14:25-27 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said:  “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.  What we have been really taught is not to follow Christ but, to follow our denominational traditions, fundamentalist beliefs, and even follow after popular ministers. However, Jesus made it very clear to count the cost to be his disciple you must not love family, even your own life to follow me. I would say that is the biggest attachment and impediment to anyone who wants to live a religious life for the Lord. The apostles all had professions, some had wives and children but, immeaditly they heard the voice of the Messiah, Jesus Christ calling them. They stopped and left immeaditly to follow him. I can imagine the suffering they went thru and endured for the sake of loving the Lord more than they loved their lives.

The Lord has a known will which is given through is word. Instructions for any believer to live their lives according to his standard and commandments. Furthermore, the Lord has a “unique” will for every soul upon this earth. Its is our job through pursing intimacy with Jesus that he reveals or better yet leads us into his perfect will for our lives. My Journey to becoming a Franciscan sister has been full of opposition and even since answering the call to leave my family, friends, church and follow Jesus to New Mexico (His Will).  I had faced sneers from loved ones the day before I was to leave for New Mexico they had an intervention at my going away gathering. Where  they invited a pastor without my knowing as they prayed over me for deliverance because they felt I was deiceved I still continued to follow (His Will). I have faced much persecution when I began to share my beliefs on social media concerning the communion of saints and our wonderful Blessed Mother. As many people criticized me on all fronts both publicy and privately I still continued to follow (His Will). I faced a warning from my church by posting the Rosary Prayer and prophetic messages from Jesus to warn his brides to pray for our President because it didn’t fit with the beliefs of the Church so was given an ultimatum to remove my post or step down form leadership. I still continued to follow (His Will) and stepped down.  I was faced with entreaties from my loved ones to please honor my mothers wishes, my family name and come back home because this wasn’t what they had planned for MY life…I still continued to follow (His Will).  When I finally arrived in New Mexico and found myself facing very cold nights on the mountain, sleeping in a tent, and having to a Lords supper at night in the cold. I could’ve, just went to bed early or even called it quits because of the the weather and living conditions but…I still continues to follow (His Will). I faced many demonic attacks in dreams, sleep paralysis, demonic oppression…I still continue to follow (His Will). I  have faced much suffering and I know I will continue too in this walk with the Lord as he is giving me the grace to count it all joy!

I feel the most painful and sure way the enemy will use to detour many from the Lords will is FRIENDSHIPS through men’s opinion and the fear of men. Jobs friends came in the guise to console him when he lost everything but rather all turned too criticize him harshly instead in his darkest moment. Even the Lord was tempted by Satan through his closest friends and disciple, Peter to stop him from carrying The Cross, that would bring redemption to all mankind.  Matthew 16: 22-23 Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Far be it from You, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me. For you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Jesus was abandoned and betrayed by the closest ones to him when he needed them the most…following the will of His Father. So how then can we think we will be greater than the master? I too lost all my friends and relationships. The closest ones too me have indeed criticized my walk, many have said the same things Peter said as I made my decision to pick up MY cross and follow the Lord to New Mexico “Nana, Far be it that you are hearing from Jesus, Far be it to dishonor your Parents, Far be it that you should move to New Mexico and leave everything behind, Far be it that Jesus wants us to suffer, Far be it that you are called to a life of Poverty, Far be it to be to pray to the saints or Blessed Mother, Far be it that you should follow Jesus in this way …but, they too were not mindful of the ways of God. You see, I must remember that its not them. Many have pure intentions and motives but, it is indeed Satan working through all to stop me…to stop you from doing the will of God. You must not be attached to anyone or anything to follow Jesus, not moved by mans options or even the hatred of hell. For truly when something is the will of God all Hell will come against it…literally.

My brethren it will COST YOU EVERYTHING to follow Jesus and the call of God upon your life. If you have no resistance or oppression then you might want to discern again if your going in the right direction. We are called to follow that same thorny, painful road Jesus took to calvary, yes he finished it on the cross but, he calls us to now pick up our cross and follow him down that same narrow road too die to ourselves that He may live. Which is filled with much tribulation but, so much more consolation, freedom, joy, peace that passes understanding, contentment and deep intimacy you couldn’t imagine!! I wouldn’t trade my cross nor do I regret anything the Lord has allowed in my walk. For it has strengthen me, humbled me, grown me, strecthed me, and drawn me into such a deep intimacy place with Jesus. For the greater the suffering, the greater the intimacy. So my friend, what is stopping you from saying “yes” to Jesus from doing the will of God? Set your face like flint, put your hand to the plough and don’t look back. Trust him he is so Freaking FAITHFUL!!

Luke 5:10-11
Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.    ”Leave everything and follow me”

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

Tasting The Bitter Cup…..When Your Sister Buys The Wrong Juice for Communion

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Image result for someone making a funny face tasting a drink

Luke 22:42
“Father,” he said, “if you will, take this cup of suffering away from me. Not my will, however, but your will be done.” 

That was my face when I excitedly rushed into my room with this new and rather large jug of “juice” I had asked my sister to purchase for me to do communion. As I took my cracker thanking the Lord and taking my cup to gulp down this sweet wine, my face contorted as the juice touched my tongue. I thought to myself eeek what is this and in my knee jerk reaction I wanted to stop taking the juice but I knew I couldn’t because this was indeed Gods blood and I couldn’t reject that. At that very moment thoughts flooded my mind of the bitter cup that Jesus drank for me, for the whole world and he wanted me to have a taste of it. I had to laugh because I knew this was the doing of the Holy Spirit, he wanted me to have a real  experience in tasting the Lord’s bitter cup and his body in my communion service.  You see I had asked my sister to get me grape juice and without looking she got ” 64 Fl oz DIET cranberry -pomegranate  juice” eeek its something awful. Taste like that medicine your parents had to force every child to take in order that you feel better. However, I recognized how witty  the Holy Spirit was and smiled in that moment realizing this is the biggest communion juice I had ever purchased so I would be drinking this bitter cup for a while. Oh, brother lol

Communion is something I believe in the church can become something we do religiously taking it for granted. Many times we recite the same thing “thanking the Lord for his body and blood what was done on the cross so we may be free” forgetting  the true meaning behind Eucharist. We can forget that when we take communion we are telling the Lord I will share with you in your suffering. I too Lord will drink this bitter cup. You see when Jesus was at Gethsemane in travailing prayer for what would have to come upon him to redeem the whole world he too reconsidered, hesitated to even drinking the cup but, yielded his will to the Father for his glory and because of love. Yet many times we are eager to take communion because its the first of the month at church or to remember our sins are forgiven forgetting we too are making a commitment to suffer with the Lord in these trying times. Then when we find ourselves in trials or inconveniences, hardships, tribulation we so desperately what to get out and be delivered quickly. Many of us even get angry with the Lord regarding what he allows in our life but…did you forget you drank the cup on that first Sunday at church. By taking communion you said ” Lord I too will drink this bitter cup of whatever you allow and I declare not my will be done but yours”.

Luke 22:19-20
And He took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body, given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same way, after supper He took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is poured out for you.

The Lord ask of us to do this in remembrance of him. In remembrance of what he suffered for us the humiliation, rejection, torture, betrayal, slander/reproach, shame, heartache, loneliness, isolation, brokenness to name a few but as he gave the cup he said this is my blood which is pour out for you. How many are willing to suffer for the Lord in this way because when you take communion that is what you are telling him. I too will drink the cup. I too will be poured out as a drink offering, a living sacrifice for you Lord.  As I drink of this bitter cup and eat of your body yes, Lord  I give my entire self to you as you have given your entire self to me, not my will  but your will be done in my life.

Philippians 2:17
But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy.

So the next time you take communion I would encourage you to ponder over these things just for a moment to really connect with the heart of God before you partake of his blood and you eat of his body are you willing to be one with him in that way. If so as you drink the “sweet church juice” remembering  for the joy set before him he endured his cross and how sweet that is for us all who would call upon him. So for the joy set before you endure patiently whatever trial that he allows joining your suffering to his knowing that he will restore every bitter moment in your life into sweet joy!

-From Jesus with Love

The Hidden Sin Of Venting….Lord I repent

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Image result for someone with hands over their mouth

 

So Lord has been really exposing the hidden sins in my life and how easily I just fall prey to them. It is indeed a grace the Lord gives to a soul to reveal the depravity of your own sins and it humbles you. Causing you not to look down on others but to see them better than yourself as you become aware of your many weaknesses. He has been really pushing me to be sincere, honest and transparent so it gives others the freedom to do so. Many times in this christian walk we tend too….wait who am I kidding we just don’t tend too but almost always we never talk about our weakness or sins we struggle with but Paul told us to boast about our weakness so we can receive more of Christ grace….Lord knows I need it lol

 Proverbs 17:9  Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

So I have a confession to make one of my many hidden sins is….venting or repeating an offense because that’s exactly what it is. I found myself being offended by an action of a friend and at first. I kept it between me and Jesus forgiving him and also seeing how Jesus wanted to humble me in that situation as well. However, as days when one I found myself  repeating the matter too two other people with out mentioning names but in all honestly just to see if I was validated in my offense. Which in the eyes of God no offense is ever validated because were suppose to walk in love and forgive all offenses. So why do we vent? You would’ve thought after telling the first friend I became convicted and repenting of back biting just to turn around and do it again with another friend who gently admonished for walking in pride as well because I felt justified in my feelings. Then this scripture popped into my heart and I knew I fell again….Lord help your daughter. This scripture above is soooo true. How many times do we get offended by what others do then turn around tell another friend, tell a stranger, post about it on social media, vent about it on a blog, twitter wherever other would listen  rather than honestly taking it to Jesus and leaving it there.

Proverbs 29:11
A fool vents all his anger, but a wise man holds it back.

The Lord calls someone who vents, or repeats an offense a fool. Sheesh there way to many fools then lol living in a culture that is so matter fact to do that, even feeling entitled to do that but its an offense a sin against the Lord. Not only that but its a WIDE open door for the demons to come and sift you. With venting comes slander, gossip, impatience, anger, division and many others to bring your demise or destroy that relationship/friendship. Imagine quickly, the many times Jesus had the opportunity to be offended the best example was when HE KNEW  Judas would betray him but still never uttered his name to the other disciples, complained about him to the Father or treated him any different. So if Jesus could protect, love and show grace to someone HE KNEW was already going to betray him then why cant we. When we find ourselves offended by something someone does especially a close friend because when we repeat the matter it sows seeds against that person and now everyone you vented too has a bad perception of that person that they didn’t have before.
So next time you feel justified to vent or repeat an offense:

  1. Vent to  Jesus– He is the ONLY one who is able to do anything about it, the ONLY one who sees from a just perspective and not your perspective or the other person in loved. He is also is the best listener and the best person to tell secret feelings too lol because he heals your heart then calls you higher which always leads to repentance
  2. Don’t go on social media indirectly talking about that situation or person….you just look like a fool and you open a demonic door
  3. Whatever you do don’t, don’t, tell another friend because that’s where it becomes gossip and don’t think you can be slick by telling about the situation but not mentioning the name lol. The Lord know exactly who you are talking about and its offense before him

Venting and or repeating an offense to someone else honestly shows the lack of love in our hearts and our unwillingness to show grace. When the Lord gives us soooo much grace when we mess up and offend him. He says,  in Hebrews 8:12 our sins are forgiven never to be remembered again. If you find yourself reading this and recognize you too have a problem with this hidden sin then congrats your a mess like me! lol So lets repent and ask the Lord to give us the grace to walk in a greater love and forgive all offenses never to repeat them in Jesus name!

-From Jesus with Love