Intimacy With God: “I Miss My Time With You”

“I miss my time with you”

Hello Family,

I woke up this morning, thinking of the Lord, asking what was on his heart and I looked across my bed on the wall were remnants of dirt from the guys building the house, but as I looked more closely it seemed to form an image of Jesus. It looked like he was walking on the shores, but alone. I was seeing his back. It was like the picture Mother Clare used on the message “Togetherness” but his bride wasn’t there. He seemed so sad. All these feelings came in my heart as I felt his grief yet again. Sure enough before doing the Lord’s supper, I just felt led to get a reading from Mornings with Saint Therese and it said;

Console Jesus: “The trials of Jesus, what a mystery! He has trials then, He too? Yes, He has them, and often He is alone. He looks for consolers and can find none. He has trials. Many serve Jesus when He is consoling them, but few consent to keep company with Jesus sleeping on the waves or suffering in the garden of agony?”

So I knew my beloved Jesus was hurting and had asked me to do a teaching on intimacy. I came before the Lord saying: “Lord I feel this ties in with you desiring your brides to spend time with you and you feel alone.”

Jesus is there anything you would like to add?

Jesus began,

“My beloved, how my heart aches and longs for my beloved. But she runs off to the world merely seeing me as a decision, a short prayer, the scripture of the day. But I am much, much more. Yes, I am your God but I have also made myself to be your friend, bridegroom and I am a man who has needs. I long for your attention, how I need your love and devotion.

Yes, I need you. Your God needs you. You are a masterpiece that fits perfectly to me, nothing else will satisfy.

Fear and Condemnation keep you from me, but may I tell you they are tools of the enemy to keep my beloved spouse away from me. I know all things yet I love you! Please, no longer allow shame to keep you from me. The same tool that was used with Adam & Eve. How it broke me to pieces to see them run away, in fear, in hiding from me, (Jesus was crying and I too was in tears, feeling his heart that moment he called for them but they ran instead)… their God, their Father, their friend, their healer and restorer. Only if they would’ve come, acknowledged their error, how I was ready to forgive and retire them but yet they feared me instead and continued to blame each other.

My beloved ones, fear and shame have stolen years away from me. I created you for myself, do you understand that? That means I know every crack, every weakness, I know your form because I created you yet I love you dearly and desire you next to me. I no longer want quick morning routines to get me out of the way but, I desire to do life with you and spend all my time with you. Would you ask me to help you with breakfast? With the kids? Help you with work? Go on walks together, runs to the grocery store, they are most fun when I do it with you! I love to be included in every aspect of your life, yes even the difficult and ugly areas as you would say. Don’t shy away from me or push me away. Invite me to these areas, invite me in these occasions, invite me into your whole day and you will see how I make my presence known to you. You will see how much more peace and resolve you feel at the end of your day when we do life together.”

Afterwards, as I was praying the rosary, all these images and emotions where flooding me as I prayed the Sorrowful Mystery, since it was Tuesday. I saw Jesus on the cross just like in the images of The Passion. As I prayed the third mystery I saw Jesus now being beaten by the Roman soldiers, making fun of him. Then he being tied up in the dungeon underground awaiting his walk to calvary. I saw blessed Mother in tears bending down right where Jesus was hanging and I was right next to her with my ears to the ground as he was beaten and downcast in the dungeon.

Then I saw vision of him circled by a mob of people punching him with their fist and also beating him with clubs before he was taken to Pilat. I saw even the children spitting at him, mocking him even the ones that he had healed which broke my heart even more. The demons had even taken over the children, and how that hurt him the most. I began to cry, and cry because I was right there watching the mob so overtaken by the intensity of hatred they had for him and how they beat him.

Indeed he should’ve died. No human could’ve withstood the blows. But I knew angels were ministering to him and given him heavenly strength, as was shown to St. Anne Emmerich. Then I saw Jesus’ back on the cross. I was at the foot of the cross with blessed Mother crying and crying remembered all the good he had done for mankind, for these people, for me.

The goodness and love of God on the cross for us as I cried and cried overwhelmed with sadness. Then again saw Jesus being handed to blessed Mother when he died. She then handed him to me, his bride, to hold. Then we were in the tomb and blessed Mother told me to stay with him there again as I cried, and cried remembering that I had put him there with my sins. How lonely Jesus was now in the tomb all alone and desiring his brides to respond to him even now to also stay with him in the tomb in this hour. Spend time with him <3

– From Jesus with Love

Intimacy with Jesus: “When You Are In Love With God”

The Lord desires that I do a series on Intimacy with God: When you are in love because there is all the difference when you love God and when you are in Love with him. For the times that are coming upon the earth it’s you have to be in love with him to withstand the onslaught. 

 

Not only that but it is Holy week and Jesus is desiring and longing for the very real presence of his bride. He wants are hearts and mind off of the world and preparing ourselves for our wedding with him!! Eek He desires that you too would see and hear him this grace is available for everyone..” he isn’t an easy catch” as he says lol. You must desire him above all things and persons of this world..just as when you are on love with some one you pursue them. You don’t give up so easily. So will will be breaking down some pointers and seeking the Lord as to what he has to say about how to fall in love with him

When You Are In Love With Some One You:

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*Want to Spend All Your Time With Them

*They Are Always On Your Mind (Purity)

*You  Share Everything with them (Togetherness & Sorrows and joys)

*You Are Faithful and Loyal To Them

-From Jesus with Love

New Year, New Habit

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October 4th, 2019 I took vows for my vocation as sister of the Fransican Oblate of Mount Carmel which so happened to be St. Francis of Assisi “ feast day”. It was the most exiciting, emotional, nerve racking day of my life lol. That is, the day I officilay said goodbye to the world and took on my new name and earthly garments… my habit

As a protestant growing up I was unaware of who St. Francis of Assisi was or the saints at large. I didn’t know very much about the “religious life” only what I had seen on TV, with nuns and monks. My dad however, is Catholic and upon me giving my life to Jesus he had mentioned to me that maybe I should join a catholic convent because I was so zealous for the Lord. Immeaditely I retored in my pride that the Lord was not into denominations and I didn’t need to join a covent to walk out my faith.” Oh my, how I reaked with pride and still do but the Lord is truly bringing me lower and lower in humility as he shows me the nothing I truly am. So now 2 years later, I have taken my religious vows and joined the order of one of the greatest saints, who would’ve thought… I know Jesus did lol. He is the only one who could’ve taken a fashion designer pursuing the world, success, honor, fame and put her in the most beautiful garment in all the world…a habit.

1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

You see St. Francis took those words quite literally, and all of God’s word. His heart burned to live out the gospel just as Jesus did and by the Lords grace he did just that. He was a son of a wealthy merchant who was also into the high life. He embarked on a military career where he wanted to become a knight. However, through a serious of illness which stopped this pursuit and 2 visions from God. The Divine intervened and he began to pursue the Lord and in a church looking upon a cross he heard Jesus say “Go, Francis and repair my church, which as you see is falling into ruin”. Francis immeaditely thought the Lord was speaking about the church he was in, St. Damaian which was run down. So he went to his Fathers shop and sold all the fine linens to get money to rebuild the church. The Father was irate, renounced him, beat Francis, took him to trial before the Bishop of his time demanding all the money back. The Bishop at the time told him to give his Fathers money back and that the Lord would provide for him to rebuild the church. At that point Francis, had a divine enlightened as the scripture from Matthew came to his mine “ Our Father who are in Heaven”. He renounced his entire family, father, fortune and realized now had a Father in heaven who would provide for him. He needed no connection with the world, he stripped off all his clothes gave them to his Father as the Bishop covered him and as he turned his back literally on the world. He then placed upon himself “ a brown potatoe sackcloth” as his garment of choice. To love our lady Poverty as our Lord Jesus did

St. Francis, heart burned to live the gospel out literally by these scriptures revealed to him by the Lord.

Matthew 10:8 Freely have you received freely give.

Luke 9:3 “Take nothing for your journey,” he instructed them. Don’t take a walking stick, a traverlers bag, good, money or even a change of clothes”

Matthew 19:21 Jesus answered, “if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possesions and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven. Then come, follow me”

Francis took these words literally and lived out these scriptures unto his death which have impacted the church still centuries later. These same scriptures the Lord burned in my heart to take very seriously and literally. After losing my job, I began to give all my things away, giving to the poor and he desires for me not too charge any fee in anything that I do or give becaue I have freely reiceved. So coming to New Mexico I had no idea what the Lord had in store and didn’t know what to expect. However, it was after a month of being here that I learned Father and Mother Clare where Fransiscan and as we watched the movie “ Brother sun, sister Moon” about the life of St. Francis of Assisi my heart burned yet again. This is always wanted I wanted, or better yet what the Lord wanted for me! I just didn’t see any example in front of me to follow.

Now putting on the habit was a different story, when I found out that I would have too, or let me rephrase that. That I would get to wear the habit for the rest of my life as a wedding garment unto the Lord I was repulsed at first. I could live the life of a Franscican with the Lords help but, to really let go of the world in that way, I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. It took about 2 more months after watching that film then one day the Lord impressed it on Father Ezekiels heart that he wanted his bride in a habit NOW. No more waiting, not only that but, he wanted to give me a new name I was perplexed to say the least. After hearing these things which I couldn’t object too my heart was racing. I came face to face with the reality that maybe my heart was still in the world, I was so attached to my looks, my persona, and my name. My, my, my sheesh, does someone need to die to self or what lol. Immeaditly I told them I would adhere to the Lords request but, if they would give me a moment too to talk with him. So I ran to Blessed Mothers prayer tree and just bared my heart too her. I told her about my fears, anxieties, and once again what people would think. However, I told her if Jesus wanted this I wanted it too but please give me the peace and fill my heart to love the Lords will. She did just that as she always does!! Blessed Mother is the best, I found myself within an hour flooded with such peace , joy and even a new name. I heard in my spirit “ your name is Mary Elisha, Mary Elisha” so I sought the Lord on discernment and he confirmed that was him.

So on Oct 4th, which we didn’t plan for but Jesus did, I took my religious vows and made a professed my vocation as a third order Franscain oblate. Nana, died that day for the world and all of heaven too see as my witnessess that I indeed had renounced the world and had taken up my wedding garment from the Lord, my habit. An oblate is simply the noun tense of an Oblation which means: a thing presented or offered to God. So one who has made an offering of their life to God as a living sacrifice, picking up their cross daily and following Jesus. The grey habit is to signify “sackcloth” and the brown portion of my garment is called a scapular. It represents Our Blessed Mother who came to one of the Carmelite saints “Simon Stock” wearing the same habit in an apparition. She was wearing the brown scapular and holding a scapular that goes around your neck. Also holding infant Jesus who was wearing the same thing. The scapular represents our servanthood putting the apron on, washing the feet of all those we meet and a brown cord with 5 knots for our 5 vows. A vow of chasity (which is faithfulness to the Lord), a vow of obedience, a vow of holy poverty, a vow of substantial prayer and a vow of substantial solitude. Carmelites dedicated their lives very much like Prophet Elijah and Elisha in prayer and solitude.

I took off the old life, the old nature, the old creation which belongs to my former manner of life which was corrupt with deceitful desires and now have put on my new self, increated after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. I have been made new! My habit is a sign to my family, friends and the world that I no longer belong to the world nor love the world but have been sent as the Lords’s bride and disciple to serve, love, honor all in humility, simplicy and poverty.

I hope you get a “New Habit” this year too!

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-From Jesus With Love