Brother David’s Testimony- How the Lord made A Priest Out Of Me

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Testimony – How the Lord made a Priest out of  me? by Brother David of the Annunciation Franciscan Oblates of Mt. Carmel ; Sacred Heart Refuge Sangre de Cristo Mountains, New Mexico March 17, 2021 I dedicate this testimony to Mother Mary and Father Joseph, who have walked with me the whole way. 

Hi Heartdwellers, so I am not a cradle Catholic. I never knew what a priest was growing up ; I barely knew who Jesus was. I had heard of the Name. I did go to a Christian camp for two summers near Yosemite Valley and during one stay I had lost my inhaler; yet somehow never needed it for those two weeks. Several events in my life didn’t make sense until I could understand that God was operating miracles to awaken me to Truth.  For the couple of years that our family did attend services at a Presbyterian church in Los Angeles, I only understood church as the place where my Sunday School class made lunch for the elderly, and the role of Joseph in ‘Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat’ was given to a girl.  I went on a mission trip to Tijuana my senior year only because I had a crush on a girl who had signed up to go. I ate a burrito on the way back to Los Angeles and had violent food poisoning. 

The poison of lust was already in me. God was not present in our family; we were our own clan, very sheltered, and I was an extremely naive 18-year old when my parents sent me off to college on the east coast, very confident their firstborn son was on his way. An impressive job, magazine home, solid retirement portfolio, gourmet food and nice vacations were to be the measure of success for my life. Little did my parents know they were letting me loose in a playground of heathen foolishness. I had already displayed some unruly behavior as a kid growing up – petty theft, pathological lying, risk taking to impress friends and girls, ditching school. Minor offenses, you might say. But nothing was able to check my conscience enough to override an insatiable need for attention, peer approval and getting the girl. My parents are hard-working, faithfully married Americans who did everything to provide for their kids. But once I was given adult freedom, I pursued reckless and aimless ambitions in my 20s and 30s with such stupendous consequences ; sin was my compass. 

Does God look at that and say to Himself, well, I told them My foolishness is wiser, so, this guy would make a great priest ! If you had the patience to hear more details of my life before meeting Jesus, you would decide that I was the worst candidate for priesthood. I can say that the only thing that made me change my ways – was the constant pain and sickness that the poison of sin had injected into me. And I had a high tolerance for pain and suffering, growing up with severe and debilitating asthma and allergies. When life became too difficult I never reasoned that it was sin, but simply because I was just messed up, and that life was painful, and there was nothing you could do about it. I would simply pursue some other avenue of sin in the hopes that this new remedy would work.It never once occurred to me growing up what I wanted to do, and I suffered as a wandering spirit my whole life until knowing the Lord. My parents, very driven to provide their children with the best education, suggested what they knew each time I came back home, lost and confused, and this always involved more school. 

My young adult life spinned around in a cycle of academics, quitting jobs, and moving back home. By the time I was 30 I already had two masters degrees. TWO. In the last effort to find that career path so necessary to launch me into success, I put myself through night school to earn a Masters in Accountancy, then studied like a mad man to pass the very difficult CPA exams, and then spent a year with an audit firm to validate the license. 3 – years – of – torture. When I began the night classes at San Diego State University to earn the Masters in Accounting, the anxiety in me began to take on demonic proportions. I started to have horrific nightmares and began to see a dark shadow in my room at night. I would throw my pillow at it. I didn’t realize until much later that someone was astral projecting into my room and throwing curses at me. I wonder how many doors I had opened to give the enemy permission to torment me. I already regretted this new career choice but told myself there was no turning back. 

There was a point in all that mess where I ended up crying out to God, crumpled down on the floor in the middle of the night, asking, God if you’re there, if You’re real, please…help. I lifted my hands up to Heaven, this was my last attempt, the only hope left I found at rock bottom. I cried out everything left in me, I turned numb. And then, I heard His Voice. Not a still small voice, but a strong voice, audible, yet somehow that made no noise and that only I could hear. That moment convinced me of God, and after a year of looking for that accounting job in the 2009 economic crash, I finally received a job offer in France, with the #1 audit firmÉ.the same in which my Dad had become an invested partner, where he spent his whole career and became extremely successful. So I moved back abroad to France for the 3rd time in my life, in June of 2010. And the misery continued.

 In many ways the deception of the enemy grew even thicker, in that span of time between finding God and finding Jesus. But signs along the way and divine coincidences also began to occur that were a beacon of light compelling me forward. Predictable as it was, I got fired from that audit job after a year, and went to work in a Japanese restaurant in Paris. I would end up trying to start my own business a couple of years later in the food industry. These years were the most difficult – I saw everything come to the surface ; it was like all the darkness, lies, new age deception, godlessness and selfish, sinful pride manifested in a very real way, and I was fighting for dear life to wake up. A living nightmare if you will. It was horrific. Ironically, my business partner would be the first person to hand me the Gospel – the mystic Gospel of Jesus according to Maria Valtorta. I had also begun to watch accounts of near death experiences on the internet. The summer of 2015 was decisive – one morning while at the farmer’s market selling our product, began rounds of vomiting. I returned home later and couldn’t move ; I was on the floor in a fetal position, and sadness and grief welled up in me. 

This time, I cried out to Jesus – please Jesus, please come be with me, I need You, I need to be in Your Presence, I can’t do this alone. And the next day, He showed up as I discovered the Heart Dwellers channel, where I learned you could have an intimate relationship, conversation, and fellowship with Jesus, see Him, hear Him, and talk with Him. Jesus didn’t show up in my room that day in a physical manner, but Holy Spirit arrived with the tools I would need to learn how to always see the Lord, instead of hoping for a rare visitation or open vision. Oh my.. for months on end I cried. And thus began the process of deliverance, which is ongoing to this day, from all worldliness, sinful habits, unhealthy attachments, and misleading ways. At that time in life, I was about to sign an irrevocable 9-year lease for a storefront in France, and was to be soon engaged. The Lord appeared in a dream in which I was in the jewelry shop with my fiance picking out a ring. I turn to look out through the large display window to the street, and see Jesus standing outside. His puts His hands up around His eyes to peer in – He sees me there, and, crestfallen, walks away in sadness. I woke up right away to the grief and realization of His feelings. I felt like I was punched in the heart. It wasn’t easy, and it certainly wasn’t pretty, but I quit both relationships with my good friend / business partner, and girlfriend / fiancé. God had other plans for my life. 

One upside to living in the valley of death for so long is that once Jesus is Your Savior, you know it’s not the ‘new and improved me’ that you are living, but HIS life that has been given to you for free, totally undeserved, to live in for all eternity. I hear the Father talk to me sometimes, and I realize, He’s not talking about me but to His Son living in me. There’s just no room for smug pretense. God and I both know, life is not something I’m very good at. And He’s going to save my whole family of 2 parents, 2 brothers and 2 sisters because the black sheep of them all who was hand-picked by God – would never boast of being a Christian. ÒI peeled him off the floor and put a ring on his finger, and he will never forget that for the rest of his life, God would explain to you. But God didn’t just welcome me Home as the prodigal son that I am. When Jesus entered into life, or I entered into His, or we entered into Our Life, He gave me far-out promises, like becoming a priest. I didn’t know what that meant when He told me, but 5 years later, here I am, offering the Holy Sacrifice of Mass and going, how did I get here? It was a specific moment of sitting with the Lord, (thank you Heart Dwellers for teaching me), when He unveiled the calling on my life. 

The next five years were a maze of discernment weekends with religious orders, conversations with priests, monks, nuns and missionaries, and year-long service programs where I volunteered at Catholic churches. The first of such was under the auspices of the OFM Franciscans at St. Camillus parish, outside of DC. The second, with Our Lady of Hope in Philadelphia, through Catholic Social Services. At the end of 5 years of searching, I knew a great deal more about the differences between Benedictines, Franciscans, Dominicans, and diocesan priests, but I was more lost than when I had started. So much that I even gave up becoming a priest. I started packing my bags for Japan to be a missionary there. I had even bought my plane ticket. Funny thing along the way of getting lost – it’s where you and God meet. And this is where the story of my heavenly parents must be told to explain how I got here, to priesthood, in a religious order, doing the artwork I had also been called to do. It all fell into my lap, but let’s go back a few years. 

As I already mention, after I had given my life to Jesus, or rather, begged Him to come to earth to visit me, I was immediately led to the Heart Dwellers ministry, the next day. Clare’s messages at that time taught the Divine Mercy chaplet. I tell you what, when you’re at rock bottom and you’ve just cried out to Jesus to be saved, hearing about the Divine Mercy revelation was like seeing the Coast Guard pull up next to my shipwreck as I’m in the freezing, shark-infested waters, about to sink down. I started praying those chaplets like they were the ladder into the ship. I remember, literally, I would race to say as many as I could in the Divine Mercy hour. I was soon airlifted out of France where I was living at the time, in quite miraculous fashion, and brought back to America in a state of shell-shock. A providential friendship at a soup kitchen led me to attend worship services at a Presbyterian church. But the Divine Mercy devotion still kept shouting in my ear, “YOU NEED AN ABSOLUTION, YOU MISERABLE WRETCH, and so when the next Divine Mercy Sunday rolled around I went to a priest at St. Gabriel’s down the street. It took me several gut-wrenching days to prepare my confession and then, to my great dismay, was told I needed to become Roman Catholic to enter the confessional. Which I did. 

I was confirmed the following year in the Roman Catholic church at St. Patrick’s in Charlotte, NC. On Divine Mercy Sunday. Funny, today as I write this testimony we are celebrating the feast day of St. Patrick. Maybe he interceded to kick my rear hard enough to finally sit down and write this. The wonderful parish secretary there handed me a book, 33 Days to Morning Glory. Written by Fr. Gaitley of the Marian Priests of the Immaculate Conception, it summarizes the various consecration programs of 4 great saints, to prepare for total surrender of oneself to Jesus through Mary. I did, and from that point on I saw Mary grab hold of my hand and begin walking home with me. I consecrated myself to Mary on the feast of Her Immaculate Heart. She determined that of the 3 cities where I could have served with the OFM Franciscans, it would be in DC, because the Basilica of the Immaculate Conception is there, the national Shrine of the Catholic Church in America. Many Masses, confessions and hours of prayer spent there. 

After a year of service She then guided me to serve at Our Lady of Hope in Philadelphia. And when a car parked in front of the parish one day with the license plate, ‘Exodus’, I realized I was in the wrong place and knew I was supposed to be somewhere else. After a few last ditch, half-hearted attempts to become a priest, I had given up on that calling and figured, as aforementioned, that I would be a missionary to Japan. Little did I know God was literally going to allow a plague to descend upon my Egypt and guide me through the waters to the Promised Land of priesthood and religious life. While I was at Our Lady of Hope, I dedicated my Lent to St. Joseph and decided I would renew my consecration to him. Yes, after consecrating myself to Mary I wasted no time in doing the same with St. Joseph. At the time, I had been following a class by Kevin Zadai, online, in which he suddenly says, you will discover God’s destiny for your life this weekend. And guess what? I did. I heard from Clare that very Sunday. Palm Sunday in fact. Inviting me out to New Mexico to join a prayer community, sold out to Jesus. I said yes. In the midst of a global epidemic…surreal. 

The last vestiges of worldliness and attachments resisted, but I could see through the smoke and mirrors now, and knew I was being extended an incredible invitation to follow Him. And when I arrived, unbeknownst to me, was a community of priests to welcome me. The Franciscan Oblates of Mt. Carmel. That summer I was invited to profess my vows as a 3rd order Franciscan and a priest. It was suggested that I do so on the next Marian feast day – this was agreed to. What was that particular feast day, you might ask? – the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Mary and Joseph turned me into the priest God had decided to make of me, revealing the Divine Orchestration of Holy Spirit that makes me marvel each time I think about it. When I was lost, Jesus found me. When I lost my vocation, I was given it. God works in such mysterious and then surprising ways. And it’s a family affair. And I didn’t have to go to seven years of seminary! Phew. 

If I have this podium to share with you God’s Love and Divine Will, please let me bless with you this : God is bringing His Bride back to the garden, restoring His Church to the beginning. Nothing could be simpler and truer than living one’s vocation under the parental roof of Mary and Joseph. Nazareth is Heaven on earth. And the Holy Family is the safe refuge for all walks of life, not just priests. Recently, God reminded me of the promises He had given to me 5 years earlier, and that they had all come true. Now, He said, it’s time to graduate, to kindergarten.I understood – our vocations are not who we are, but what He does, and what He loves most about us is that we are simply His little, very needy children. One thing hasn’t changed since receiving the vocation of priesthood. My insatiable need for love and approval. It has only grown bigger, a huge chasm, that at times is agonizing. I used to be sin-sick. Now, I’m homesick. I long, I cry, for the Fatherland. I must confess, the first years as a Christian were not easy for me.

 I never could fully trust in God’s Mercy, even though He says, via St. Faustina, that the greatest sinner has the greatest right to My Mercy. I know that’s true – because I see what God did to restore me. Intellectually I understood what was happening.  Scripturally, it was all lining up.  This is God Who loves me. But my heart couldn’t come to peace with His terms of contract. This is free, and forever? But then, the companion I had always been hoping for showed up. Her name is Mary. 

It is through Her motherly love and heavenly intercession, both of which are very real, and very available to everyone, that I found the relief in my heart and the ability to trust in Jesus  through Her. I don’t have the guts to go to Him directly. I’m no saint.  I’m a momma’s boy. Always have been, and always will be. I will not expound upon theological tenets or provide further miracles to convince you. All I will say to you is that God took a dead man, put him in the arms of Mary, and turned that pig-pen sinner into a priest. That should be enough to pique your interest, and from there, if you want to learn more about Her, Mary will reveal how much She loves you. And yes, I capitalize She, because She is My Queen. My Mother is the Queen of Heaven. I boast in that. I hope you will too. May the Holy Family of Nazareth keep you, watch over you, guide you, and bless you. And praise! the Lord God, Our Father, Our Savior, bless Him! for His immeasurable Love and Mercy. Amen 

The Crucified Jesus Inspires Us “console him’

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Hello Family,

I know many are in a valley of confusion and uncertainty in our nation, but we must remember God sits on the throne and he is in control. As we wait and are so consumed in ourselves, what we’re feeling, what is going on around us and what is being said we often forget that Jesus is hurting. 

Yes, although God, He is fully man and our beloved spouse is hurting guys. He desperately needs to be loved and consoled in this hour.  He has called all of us to carry many heavy crosses of affliction not only to sanctify us but for the salvation of souls, for our President Trump and for the entire world. We are at the brink of so many things. So many lives that will be lost.  So many innocent and poor souls that will be affected and harmed.  As it is written Matthew 24:6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.

Jesus tells us that these things must happen before the end comes upon us. We forget sometimes that He is also a Father who birthed each soul from his heart, and He is a lover who has called each soul to be his bride and He is a friend who died for love and created us for love. Yet, is left unwanted, rejected, disdained, scorned and even hated by the very souls he created. His own children who will be lost forever in the abyss of the fires of hell for all eternity. HIs heart is breaking guys, so broken by what must happen and His precious ones who will be lost. There is place in his heart that can never be repaired because it was created uniquely for a soul who chose too no longer be there. 

Jesus is suffering, yes, He too suffers on the waves of agony and looks desperately for his bride to console him. We often run to Jesus to be consoled, but because Love makes itself vulnerable who will be there when He needs consoling? When He needs encouragement? When He needs love and when He needs to be embraced and told “I love you Jesus, I am here for you Lord, I am here.” Who will it be? I pray it’s you my fellow brides. Run to your Jesus and there hold his bleeding head in your arms. Take the crown that He still wears for the scorn and contempt He faces daily and wipe the blood from his brow for the sins many commit against the Holy Spirit.

Go to the cross and stay at his feet looking up at a crucified Christ all bloody and beaten for your sins and the sins of the world who still thirst for love, your love. Then climb on the cross with him as you lay right hand on top of his and place your left hand on top of his nail pierce hands and rest your head on his heart that beats rapidly and burst out of brokenness to provide mercy for the whole world. Are you suffering gravely now? Unite every sacrifice, every trial, every tear, every prayer, every frustration, every confusion,  every delay, every inconvenience and pain you’re going thru to the cross. He needs it and He needs you.

This morning in prayer I got the reading to “Console Jesus”. I immediately saw myself sitting with Jesus on a rock on top of a high mountain. He was wearing a white robe and white prayer shawl over his head.  He was looking off in the distance with so much on his mind and I knew his heart was heavy. We didn’t have to speak to each other because I knew, I knew as I rested my head on his shoulder then slipped my right hand into his and clasped his hand. Telling him “I am here Lord, I am here”. Then when I looked down at his arms, I realized it had turned bloody and all wounded as I was now sitting with the wounded Christ. He now had the crown on and was completely covered in blood as he continued to look on in the distance and I looked at him in horror at his degenerate state. I clung to his arm even firmer telling him I wouldn’t let go that I am here, to stay and share in his suffering. I then realized are arm was becoming one. As my body began to enter into his. 

Then I was now placed at the foot of the cross as I looked up to my crucified spouse. So bloody, beaten and unrecognizable gasping for air to breath. I cried thinking what can I do, as I held on to the bottom of the cross touching his feet saying, Jesus I am here, I am here. I knew in my heart that he wanted me to climb up and be with him on the cross. So, I did, as I climbed up in my white wedding gown and laid myself on top of him and rested my head on his chest and I could hear heart beating so fast as his bloody bruised chest was going up and down. Up and down as his breath got raspier because blood was filling up his lungs. I thought to myself how I could continue to complain about my afflictions. Complain about my trials that now seemed so trivial compared with his. How could I complain with the splinters from the cross He has given me? When He did this for love of me and still suffers now for the world. I then embraced him even on the cross as if to also now embrace the crosses He has given me and will give me for love of him and love of souls.

When I came out of this, tears streamed down my cheeks as I apologized to him for my unfaithfulness the past couple of days and how I have been self-absorbed in my own sorrow, but never attending to his. Then I got a reading from Imitation of Mary and Blessed Mother was speaking to me about how the cross of Jesus should inspire us to persevere in our own trials. I felt strongly she wanted me to share this with all the Lords brides because we are all going through it and she wants us to fix our eyes on the cross and console Jesus as well. He is hurting even as we suffer. He is suffering with us and for us.

Blessed Mother began,

“My beloved children, I kept before my eyes a cogent model: Jesus crucified. He spoke only words of peace; He suffered with perfect resignation to His Father’s will; He asked that His executioners might be pardoned through the merits of His sacrifice. I watched Him carefully; I entered into His heart and tried to make all His sentiments my own. As I saw Him give His life so generously for men amid the most fearful suffering. I learned to make the generous sacrifice of what was dearest to me in all the world: Jesus Himself.

My children, you find at the foot of the cross as I did, comfort in bitter suffering, strength when you are beaten down, and courageous resignation in sacrifices God ask of you. When you are afflicted, do not go looking to men for comfort; their compassion is barren and soon wearies. After giving you their sympathy, they finally become bored by the narrative of your sufferings and, in the end, by your very presence.

Then you will be left to yourself and your thoughts, and you will find the burden of grief ever heavier to carry. The effort you will make to pull out the arrow that wounds you will often serve only to push it deeper into your flesh.

 In the hour of battle, my children, arm yourself with the image of Jesus on His cross. Let the crucifix be your first source of help on the days of darkness and misfortune. However, slack your courage may be, you will find strength there. However strong the bitter taste in your heart, you will find consolation there. Do you suffer because of what men do to you? Behold on the cross the most outraged of fathers, the most scorned of masters, the most abandoned of friends, the most persecuted of just men. Do you suffer from hell’s attack? Contemplate Jesus on the cross as He is buffeted by hell’s wrath. Will you dare complain that heaven treats you too severely when you see the sternest of the Heavenly Father toward His beloved Son? To punish you for your sins God sends you some temporal trials; but what are these when compared to what Jesus suffered in order to rescue you from eternal punishment? As you gaze at your crucifix, say; “I was redeemed by the extreme suffering of God. It is only right that the redeemed soul should attain some likeness to is redeemer through suffering. 

My children, if you cannot have the consolation of resembling Jesus in virtue, at least have the consolation (your crucifix will say to you) of resembling Him somewhat in suffering. Have recourse to Him in every evil, anguish, and temptation.

Kiss your crucifix affectionally, bathe it in your tears, slap it lovingly to your breast. Imagine that you are on Calvary and are allowed to embrace the feet of your God who is suffering and dying for you. Tell Him of you’re afflictions, unite them to His, and ask Him to help you find them easier to bear. Ask this merciful Savior to let you hear from His cross some strengthening words that will help you endure your anguish of soul. Tell Him you will not let Him go until He has restored your peace and tranquility and strengthened you with His grace. If you are faithful to this holy exercise, your tears will be dried up, you will have peace again, courage will replace weakness, the cross will no longer be so heavy for you and bitterness will be changed into joy.

If you still have much to suffer, try to stir up in yourself the patience, resignation and love which made the Apostle say; “I rejoice when I endure weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and distress for the sake of Christ (2 Corinthians 12:10)”

That was the end of Blessed Mother message to us.

So, my fellow brides will you console your Jesus tonight?

Mercy Chino- “Oh Jesus”

Intimacy with God: “Your Always On My Mind”

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“Your Always on My Mind, Am I On Yours?”

Hey family,

The Lord really wanted to have me continue to teach on intimacy with him  being in love with God. So in this series will be speaking on “Purity” because when you are in love with someone they are always on your mind right? In the morning you wake up your thinking of them, even dreaming of them, when you go to sleep they are on your mind lol. So is the same with God, when you are in love with him he is always on your mind. You see him in everything and everyone and that began with purity. A Pure bride is irroestiable to God, a  pure souls draws for the Holy Trinity to itself and becomes a temple for the Holy Spirit to dwell, For Jesus to rest and live and for the Father to make is throne.

For scripture says “The Pure in heart shall see God” so guys it very possible to see God with the eyes of your heart for that is where he dwells. That is where the kingdom of God is, it is within you but you must come before him in purity.  So how does one become pure you may ask? It is a work of God the more you spend time with him in his presence the more you become like him, the more you love him, the more you want what he wants because you know he is good and anything he ask of you or takes from you is for your good. So one step builds on another. The demons hate purity guys and have defiled it since the beginning so they will give  you thoughts and images that are not from the Lord you must discern. If they can’t get you to fear Gods presence then they will get you to have impure motives in all you do. You will began to seek Jesus for what you can get, seek him for your own desires and plans and do things out of self will rather than in the will of God.

So practically coming before the Lord when you spend time with you may have a lot of things on your mind and the devils are clever to bring up distractions. So get a peace of paper and write down your to do list, or all the things that are on our heart. Write them down and leave them there on that paper. That literally will clear your mind so you can enter into the Lords presence empty so that he can fill your mind. Then also lay all your concerns at his feet very literally you can then tell him your desires, your opinions about certain things that concern you than simply tell him you want what he wants. Whatever his plan is for those things you are willing to be made willing/ That is a powerful prayer because one thing the Lord gave himself no control over is your will. It is your will that the devils want and the Lord also desires. So when you surrender your will to the Lord than you can come before him in purity because he knows he can do whatever he desires because you want his will.

So simply say everyday “Lord make me willing to be made willing” in that he releases graces with the areas of self will your struggling with than turn your heart towards him so that you are willing for whatever answer he gives you.

As I have referenced before listen to the songs he plays over you …not just in your time alone but all day guys. He speaking all day to you. Listen carefully for the lyrics many times there is direction he is giving you and even in love songs he plays in stores or even at the bank its him singing over you. One time before I took my vows as a Franciscan when I was back home. I walked into the bank and the song was playing “Will you marry me” by ..I was flushed because I knew it was Jesus speaking to me lol I couldn’t help but laugh and smile as I told him “yes” but had no idea what that would entail. So when your mind is on him you see him in everything, in a butterfly the flutters by, in a warm smile from someone passing you buy, in the compliment someone gave you, in the heart shaped piece of toast or milk spill, or in a wet floor “caution sign” at Chipotle when your suppose to be fasting lol He does give warnings too and all of these things have happened to me. Indeed his is so very present all day  lol 

It’s important to “Seek Jesus for Who He is” as he has told me before “Seek me for me”. Ouch that let’s me know my motives are coming impure as I am coming before him to either get a word or direction from him rather than just being with him, My bridegroom that I love. Trust also must come with Purity as he has told me before as well “ You seek me but you don’t trust me so that is why you go off on your own”. So you can seek him but if we don’t trust his direction, his council then what is the point because you will continue on in self will and impure motives. Wanting to work out things, situations, circumstances and people on your own rather than doing it Gods way. That what he calls attachments and far too many of us are so attached to sooooo many things. As he has given me the rhema before “Detach detach your emotions are getting in the way” Oh boy I know a thing or two about that lol. He wants us completely detached from the things of the earth, outcomes and from creatures as well. To be only attached to him, his way and his will when we seek him.

You see Jesus not only wants your life, your heart but he wants your will. If you would trust him and surrender completely to all that he wants, all that he gives, all that he takes away because he has your best interest at heart and it is always the best outcome even thought many times we won’t understand. So you must trust him.

Remember, this is your bridegroom, he loves you, desires you, needs you and want to do life with you. So think of him when you wake up ask him what he wants to do with your day together. So you don’t get caught up in fruitless activities of the world that lead no where.  Think of him as you both are  working together, Think of him even when you have others around you, that he is right there in your midst what are you thinking? What are you saying or doing is it pleasing to your beloved bridegroom?, Think of him when you are going to sleep? What did you guys do to day? What consolations did he give you to show he was there with you? How did he speak through others today to show you his love? Think of him, leave him always on your mind.

My Beloved spouse do you have anything to add Lord

Jesus began,

“Oh my dear ones how I long for you with a longing you cannot comprehend only in eternity will you realize how I have labored for your love and the anguish of my soul to continue to wait when we can finally be together not as through a thin veil but face to face. I tell you that you can experience that even now in the secret garden of your heart I am invit

ing all my brides to join me there this week. Yes right now it may be the garden of gethsemane where I toiled in anguish over the cross set before me but how I was rejoiced over you because you  were worth it. Every bit of it, How I would do it all over again a million times over just to have you right next to my side beloved one. you are always on my mind do you know there is not once second that goes by that I am not thinking of you. 

I am known as the constant one and you are constantly on the mind of your God. As you sleep, when you awake as you go about your day I gush over you and oh but when you give me a grace or better even when you give me your time I am so excited, elated with joy that my beloved has chosen me from the other options that have pervaded her. she would rather spend time with me. You have no idea how that satisfies my thirst and longing for love. Yes I desire to be loved, I longed to be loved I need to be loved by you my beloved one. Oh please do come, come and allow to wash you clean allow me to heal the wounds of your heart and restore your peace and joy. Please come I am waiting even now. Allow me to cleans your mind and heart from all unrighteousness. Put my cloak of righteousness upon you and call you my pure irresistible bride who wants me and me alone. Come You are always on my mind.

 I think of what I created, I think of what I have birthed, I think of what I have in store for you beloved and I am in awe when you say yes , when you respond to my advances. how so few  respond or even tarry. please don’t disappoint me come. How I think of what you like, I set your day up not only with lessons but with great love notes all around you. Yes I too get excited in planned these thing, you know I have all eternity to do so.  (smiling) Yes ,I know you love birds the yellows specially so I planned at that very moment when you sat on the bench the yellow bird to be there to tell you I love you. I think of how you love those gourmet cookies so I make sure even when the store my be running low on stock I ensure that one package is left just for you because those are your favorite. I think of you as I set the moon at just the right angle to hit your window casting off the shadow filling your room with moonlight just to make you smile. Yes, I think of you. 

I know your favorite color is red so I make sure that the dress you love so much, the red one sits waiting for you to pick up. Just to see your joy as you put it on. Yes, I think of you, as I have butterflies flutter all around and about you even on the highways to let you know I am very present with you. Yes I think of you, I have your child come and run giving you a kiss and a hug for no apparent reason because that sweet hug and kiss was from me beloved to tell you how much I love you. Yes I think of you, as I leave a rose at the end of your steps on valentines day just to show you my love. Yes, I think of you, when I know you are seeking me for answers and unsure about what I have told you and when you get on the computer the answer in in the message you read, the book you pick up or a sign on a billboard. Yes, I planned all of these things before eternities time. My footprints, my love letters to my bride through out the day. You are indeed always on my mind beloved am I on yours? 

That was the end of Jesus message

Overconfidence and The Power of The Sign of the Cross

From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

journal entry from april 10, 2020

Hey Family,

We here in the community are tucking in with the Lord this holy week in preparation for Easter.

Well we had an interesting incident occur 2 days ago would you believe we had a fire. So here in the community many times we are unable to take the trash down into town so we have an open space in the meadow where we burn our trash. Two of my brothers are the ones who take care of them and it happens about every other day. However, on this particular day it was very windy not only that he threw quite of bit of styrofoam installation in the trash pile. That was a no go, because we were unaware how flammable and how the degree from the installation carries over but oh boy now do we know. 

It was in the morning and I usually go up on the mountain ridge to pray and do the Lords supper. However,  for some reason I felt led to stay close to the house and pray right behind the sheep pen in the meadow. I now realize that was the Lord, because as I was praying I began to see a lot of smoke and that was a bit unusual to me. As we have burned trash before but never was the smoke so black and so much. However, I continued to pray as the smoke died down I thought everything was okay then I caught with the glimpse of my eye the fire had reached the grass by the sheep pen which I was behind and it was just a few feet away from the forest trees. I immeaditley got up and tried to radio for my brother Adam  who started the fire to no avail. However, another brother Freddy was in the house and I called to him that there was a fire and I wasn’t sure what to do. He said “Get water” lol. So I rushed and pulled the gallons of water we had next to the house near the sheep pen. He grabbed the water huge water jug and began to pour it on the areas of the grass where there was fire still going. On the remainder he just stepped on it with his shoes and we poured the water on the corner of the sheep pen where it was smoking. Wheew it was a close call thinking the fire was dead but we were wrong. As he went away and I sat down again I saw no flames inside the sheep pen roaring. I immediately jumped up this time and thought of St. Francis, how he would always do the sign of the cross in any situation. One time was about to have a surgical procedure where they had to use a flame to sterile the area. He commanded “brother flame” as he called all of Gods creation his brothers or sisters because they too were created by God, to not burn him and sure enough. He felt no pain when the flame touched his body. The fire had yielded to his command. So I then did the sign of the cross over the flames that were now roaring out of the roof of the sheep pan and commanding the flames to cease. I then asked the Holy Angels to please assist us in killing this fire. Then I ran to get my brothers again and just then two more of my brothers showed up as we raced against time to now kill this roaring fire before it spread. It took about 10 minutes, 2 more huge jugs of water to kill the fire completely in the shed.  

Once we were all done I went to go sit back down with the Lord in adoration as all these thoughts came to my mind. As I said to him 

Oh my goodness Lord, just witnessed a possible forest fire could’ve turned really bad but I thank you so much for your mercy and great compassion towards us that you allowed me to see that to call for help. I couldn’t help but think Lord this indeed a prophetic sign that you are speaking to us here in the community and also to affirm the word you gave about the Forest fires coming

Jesus is there anything on your heart?

Jesus began,

My beloved ones yes, I am here and this was a stark reminder and warning for over confidence. As I mentioned in the Lords supper yesterday

(as an aside here he was referring to the second reading he gave us during the Lords Supper we did together as a group the night before it was  1 Corinthians 10:1-12

“ For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers and sisters that our ancestors were all under the club and that they all passed through the sea. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ. Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered in the wildness. Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from seeing our hearts on evil t things as they did. and do not grumble as some of them did and were killed by the destroying angle. These things happened to  them as examples and were written down as warning for us on whole the culmination of the ages has come. So if you think you are standing firm, be careful lest you fall.” 

I remember telling them all. Oh uh guys the Lord is telling us to watch out for pride there is a test of pride coming so we need to be careful not to grumble or complain or be overconfident in anything and sure enough the next day he allowed this.)

Jesus continued,

“I am calling you all to be more mindful not just of your thoughts, and attitude of heart but your as actions as well. Mother Clare was right to say that overconfidence causes you to do thing more in haste which causes error and can be detrimental for the community. I know you know a thing or two about, that why I want you to really adhere to Mother and Father wisdom and council. You will be sent out soon but, you too must be mindful of the small details little one. Truly some of the smallest decision can be life or death for those who I have called you to be care taker over beloved do you understand?” 

Me: Yes Lord I do please help me I can definitely be absent minded

Jesus continued

“Absent minded means to have your mind absent in the moment and yes beloved I love how you are always thinking of me but I am with you and with your mind truly on me I will keep it in the moment. So that you continue to stay diligent alert in the moment and doing all your actions even the smallest detail with love.”

Me: Okay Lord thank you so much please help us all here in the community to me more mindful 

Jesus responded,

“I am doing that even now and this was indeed to affirm the message I have given you beloved. Please when I give you a word and you confirm its from me get to work beloved. I desire my people to hear the word now beloved this calamity is knocking at their door and my desire is that they would prepared and ready. You were right to first pray and make the sign of the cross indeed even fire which I created bows down to me beloved. My people, prayer and the sign of the cross with all sincerity and intention is powerful. You are provoking the God head, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit all that we are to your circumstance or situation. That is why many saints used the sign of the cross to cause creatures, people, circumstances, demons and element to submit to my will. So as you see these forest fires come about and they are very near to you my people began to pray. Use the sign of the cross to bless your house, to bless your community, to bless your forest area Iands and I promise you I will leave you unharmed or untouched. Use the sign of the cross where the forest is blazing and I will send my angels to come and assist too tame the fires down . So now I am given you insight to the authority, grace and anointing I have given you my people to use in order to bring my glory forth and to show case my mercy. Please adhere to these words my little ones, my beloved one I am with you all.”

Thank you Lord!

-From Jesus with Love

Forest Fires Are Coming

From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

Hello Family this message was given to me April 4, 2020 in my journal entry and prophetically has come to passed with all the fires raging in our nation.

I came before Jesus in prayer saying,

Lord here I come before you in faith again, you played two songs about wanting to speak to me. So I know your heart is burdened. Then I felt led to use the bible to get some scripture readings from you and the word 

“Baruch” came in my heart and sure enough the first reading I got was from the Book of Baruch extended letter from Jeremiah 

(side note these scriptures the Lord gave me two were from the Apocryphal book of the Old Testament. The reason they are not included in our Protestant bibles because they were removed because the Jewish scribes didn’t believe the books were inspired. The original 1611 KJV contained the Apocrypha, it was removed in later editions.  The book of Ben Sirach or Ecclesiastic is in the Orthodox bible and is considered a book of wisdom. The Book of Baruch is extension of the prophets the theme is that the salvation of Israel is found on wisdom so just a background first for those that may protest how the Lord gave me this word )

So as I opened the bible my fingers fell on verse 62..of the Book Baruch wouldn’t you know. concerning fire falling from the skies on forest

Baruch 6:62 “and fire, sent from on high to burn up the mountains and the forest, carries out its command. But these false gods are not their equal, whether in appearance or in power.” then the second reading was from

Ezekiel 3:14-17

And the spirit lifted me up, and took me away, and I went off my spirit any and bitter for the hand of the Lord pressed hard on me. Thus I came to the  exiles who lived at Telabib by the river Chebar and there where they dwelt, I stayed among them distraught for seven days at the end of the seven days the world of the Lord came to me:

Son of man I have appointed you a sentinel for the house of Israel When you hear a word from my mouth you shall warn them for me

Third reading I got was Ben Sira 17:24-29

But to the penitent he provides a way back and encourages those who are losing hope!

Turn back to the Lord and give up your sins. pray before him and make your offenses few. Turn again to the Most high and away from iniquity, and hate intensely what he loathes. Who in Sheol can glorify the Most High in place of the living who offer there praise? The dead can no more give praise than those who have never lived; they who are alive and well glorify the Lord. How great is the mercy of the Lord, and his forgiveness for those who return to him!

Lord I can’t help but think there are  more calamities coming and you want me to warn yet again

Jesus began,

“Yes beloved why do you continue to cowar in fear?”

Well to be honest Lord, I tremble at your word and more importantly I don’t want to lead anyone astray with these words. Thinking they are from you when they are from me. As you can see I am still struggling with unbelief. Oh help me Lord

Jesus responded,

“Oh my little one, truly I need you to trust me more and more beloved. Trust what I have called you to be and trust the words I speak to you. In later times you will go back and see how clearly you have heard from me” 

Lord and what about discernment? I struggle with that too when I get rhemas that really don’t clearly confirm its you speaking to me, but then I also get readings to not delete the messages. In fear it makes me want to stop altogether and just let it sit there for a while until i get some clarity

Jesus responded,

“Well that is wisdom beloved. When it doesn’t seem clear always go to others. I have made Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel your third legs of discernment. So go before them and even then when you are unsure re-read what I have spoken. Even if they may be strong words if it leaves you with a profound peace, understanding, and direction dear one then many times it is from me. I will use your writings and your journals to teach others discernment. I desire to speak to all my brides but, many are so afraid and walk in unbelief. So I do want you to teach them about intimacy. For out of intimacy will flow greater trust and confidence in my words to them little one”

 okay Lord thank you for the understanding. So those scriptures Lord are they heralding warnings for things to come again?

(at this time guys I was getting tense again and still doubting whiles typing this)

Jesus continued,

“Relax my little one, relax and just continue to write. Yes, beloved the things that are coming are so devastating dear one. Many will not be able to comprehend why or what is going on. It will be one after the other dear one. How I am truly calling my sleeping ones to wake up from their slumber as this pandemic and plague dies off so another will rise right on its heels.  Forest fires are coming this summer all over your nation none like ever before destroying crops, fields, homes and lively hood its going to be an immense challenge for your nation and forest fire workers beloved many of my animals will also be caught in the fire in the thick of it and perish. Many will then began to cry out where is God in all of this? And I respond to you my people that I am here. I have always been here waiting for you to respond. Will you now to see that the earth is passing away and there is nothing good in it. Will you now began to see that your life is, but a vapor and give it to me? Will you now began to see that your fortresses, your hopes, your wealth and even your health cannot save you, but only I can. 

Call out to me my people I am waiting to hear my beloved ones cry out to me in great humility and contrition turning from there sinful ways that I may heal their land. But many will say how have I sinned? I am a god person, I have gone to church, I pay tithe? Oh my beloved ones, working out your salvation is much more than that. It is a total desire to live free from sin. I have called you to be holy as I am holy.  It is a renunciation of comprises. Small foxes that continue to spoil the vine, it is a deep examination of your conscious as to how you have lived your lives. Are you truly following me, are you loving your neighbor as yourself, are you helping the sick, the poor, the hungry? Not just with a donation here and there, but truly is your heart to live for others, for my kingdom or for yourselves and your family. 

Please wake up me dear ones, rise from your slumber and sleep no more . I am doing a great shaking before the great awakening comes upon the whole world. Indeed the harvest is plenty, but the labors are few. Now to my faithful ones, there are those all around seeking me in their hearts, seeking answers to their questions and you have the answers. This is a great time to share my love, my hope and faith with all those around you. Please don’t shy from this opportunities I bring before you. The opportunities will be countless, so please my beloved brides stand with me.  I know many of you are weary, but stand with me. A time of great harvest is coming and it is even here now.”

 Oh Lord help us, help me because I am truly one of your weary ones. Give us all the strength to stand and believe with great hope not only for ourselves but for those around us.

Jesus responded,

“My beloved one, yes indeed I am releasing graces even now for those to rise in great strength and faith in this hour and I hear the worries of your heart and anxieties beloved. Everything I promised you will come to past even in the midst of chaos. Remember I do make beauty from ashes and make a beautiful masterpiece out of ruins. So my faithfulness will be a testimony to all who witness what I do even in the midst of this trial “

Okay Lord your words are truly comforting, living waters which I love to drink. Love you Jesus thank you so much

“love you too my little one, and all the little ones that take heed and listen with great faith I am with you all stay encouraged”

-From Jesus with Love

Be The Light

From Jesus With Love2 Comments

This morning I was getting down from my bed and my computer fell from the top bunk and cracked. Furthermore, I had been chided by Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel of not taking care of things well. Which is so true because I had just got this computer fixed a week before so I was devastated and disappointment in myself. Since the Lord was telling me to began writing again. Also I do all my work on the channel using this laptop so I was frustrated thinking this had to be the enemy. 

I came before the Lord during prayer as I felt he began speaking to me. 

Jesus began,

“My beloved don’t be too hard on yourself. It would’ve been wise to leave it at a safer place, but who do you think knocked it over?”

The devils Lord

 Jesus responded,

“Yes, Beloved I want you from now on to anoint and bless any equipment or ministry materials you receive. The devils hate the assignment I have given you and  will do all they can to frustrate my plans, but I wont allow it. I do however allow these things to not only cause you to be aware, but to pray more and to grow in patience. An offering a gift you can give to me for the salvation of souls.”

Okay Lord forgive me I renounce frustration, impatience and bitterness.

Jesus continued,

“Now the readings I gave you and the songs I played were all about faith beloved. Did you  not ask me to make you a great women of faith?”

Yes Lord I just didn’t know the cost lol

Jesus responded,

“Well, my little one with great faith comes great test, great breaking and great patience endurance. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not yet seen. To hope in the impossible takes great faith and great faith starts with a  small mustard seed of faith. So I’m not asking for your faith to be big more like I am asking you to hope greatly that I am who I say I am and that I can do all things. This generation will be known for the great exploits and showmanship of my power than any other generation. I am calling my people to have great hope in me, to believe as the times get darker so will great faith arise. It must arise to shader the darkness and cause the enemy to retreat. For so long my people have been held captive by fear, fear of the me, fear of delusion, fear of man and fear of the enemy, but I am calling my people to believe again, hope again in great faith the things that I will do in and through them. For those who are desiring to move in the supernatural gifts, it is available for you. The treasure of heaven is available for all my people all they must do is ask. I have a storehouse where the angels wait to hear the command of my people to release gifts,but my people don’t ask rather they fear it and walk in so much unbelief. Come to me my people come to the Father who owns a cattle on a thousand hills and gives to all generously who ask. Give yourself entirely to me in consecration and holiness and greater works will you do and see all for my glory.”

 Lord if I may I remember you told me that in order to have faith “take more risk”

Jesus continued,

Yes beloved one, my people fear being rejected or doubt the results of things,but step out in faith and obedience and allow me to do the rest. Rarely is there a time a sincere prayer is prayed for a soul and returned void. Sometimes the fruit you don’t see but there is always fruit when you step out in faith. So my people I’m calling faith to rise even in you now. Do you have the lame, sick around you step out in my love to touch them. I am their hope and believe I can and will do the impossible and I might just surprise you. (smiling) Im calling my people to count the cost and began to live out the life of what they say they believe

Do you believe I can raise the dead?

Do you believe I can heal the sick?

Do you believe I can open blind eyes?

Do you believe I can transform a hardened heart?

Do you believe I can do all these things through you?

If you say you believe then what are you doing about it?

My beloved ones take risk hope against hope believe I tell you believe ask for the this gift began to walk in them now. When you see someone in need ask for me to stretch out my hands through your heart and touch them and leave the results to me. Great works will I do in and through you

Lord Can I share the vision you gave me a while back is that okay?

Yes, beloved it will greatly inspire others and to what I have in store for this generation for those who believe . Remember deep faith comes from Intimacy with me.”

So I had a vision family, of a family member who was away from home. I received a letter from them and I was cleaning up my room. When I touched his envelope I immediately went into an open vision. I saw this family member being met by the youth leader of my church at the time and his friends in the parking lot of my church for prayer. The all laid hands on him and began to pray I was just watching. No street lights were on so it was dark however as they began to pray I saw little bulbs of light over my family members head. Then as I looked closely they were getting bigger and I realized they were angels. They began to descend and ascend up and down as they were praying for this family member. The light then overshadowed them all as they were all glowing. Then my family member changed into a man who I knew was on drugs and after they prayed he was completely transformed and restored. He was so in shock seeing the physical transformation of himself he asked to join us. We said sure, then there was a group of us as we went into the streets simply touching the homeless, prositutes, drug addicts and they were immeadielty healed by a touch. They too where in shock and all asked to follow us. Then I saw a dark hill, then one light, then two lights, then three and four then so forth until the whole hill was lite up then I cam out of the vision. The scripture that came to mind was “ a city on a hill”. Mt 5:14 

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.

 That is what this last generation will be like!

Jesus says, “Repentance Proceeds Revival”

From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

March 20, 2020 Jouranl Entry

I had a dream this morning and towards the end a young girl was telling me of revival coming. I was talking to my Dad and  I was telling him oh how I had  a dream a while back explaining about a revival. Then I heard  in my heart

 “The Coronavirus will precede the greatest revival of the century”


 I began to think of what the Lord said about hearing thoughts early in the morning as a husband would talk to his wife. So I just woke up and came to my computer to write down anything  that was on the His heart.

Jesus, I am here early this morning smiling I believe you wanted to share your heart when I woke up.  So I wanted to be obedient as you told me too and just stop what I am doing and write down what you had to say my love.

Jesus began,

“My beloved one I am here and thank you for coming by faith to do what I asked.  Just write as I share my thoughts and heart with you. I desire for you to be more patient and solicitous for your brother. 

( Here is referring to a soul in the community).

 I am still working on his frame just as I am still working with you. No one has arrived yet my little one. So you were right to say that “you desire to understand rather than be understood”. When you began to understand those around you it begets compassion and empathy towards them as well. I want you to practice these things. Indeed these will all be useful for your mission. I am sending you to places not to be understood, but to understand and truly be my hands and feet of love dear one.”


Okay Lord please help me with that because I become so spent when I get home 


Jesus continued,

“I know dear, well leave some room for others. Even thought you want your own time, use that time for others dear one. Remember we are doing this together. I am always with you and I am always desiring to hear others, see from their stand point and love them where they are at. In time they will open up a conversation that give you room to share truth. So be patient, kind and loving. Always think of others more than yourself. You can never go wrong with that

 Yes, Lord

I do desire to share with you the thoughts you had after that dream. This is a message of encouragement to my people and my bride little one. Indeed the Coronavirus will precede the greatest revival of this century. I have heard the cry of my people, those who have laid their lives down seeking my face, repenting, crying out for a move of my spirit. It is coming my people, it is coming, but it comes with a cost . My people, repentance proceeds a move of my spirit. I have allowed this virus to bring my people who are called by name to repentance. Deep repentance and reformation of their lives. No longer will I continue to tolerate, lukewarmness. Did I not say either be hot or cold or I would spew you out ? (Revelations 3:16) 

No longer will I tolerate comprise in my church, in the hearts of my people. Many call me Lord, Lord, but do not do as I say (Luke 6:46). No longer will I tolerate Idolatry, how this nation that I birth from the heart and hands of your for fathers have turned against me. You have allowed foreign Gods into this nation and have erected Baals  all over your country. Oh my people repent, many will so how have we been idolatrious Lord? With your affections my people,  any affection that is put above your God is an idol. You have made idols of people. You have made an idol of sports, hence it was my doing shutting down these gatherings that have been a distraction and would have caused them to lose their souls. Yes, many know the stats, the names, tattoo these things on them and on their heart.  Many fight to get so many things, you look up to these lowly ones in idolatry, yet you still don’t see how you have fallen way from me.My church is in ruin as well , where many shepherds are filing their bellies with the food of my people and their own vain glory. Not with truth, but with error and compromise so the little ones who are serious about become ostracized because they are taking me too seriously. 

My shepherds I called you to lay your lives down for the flock not build your empires with my flock. Please people repent and turn from your ways.  Many of my people watch things that sicken my heart, that disgust me. Impure shows, songs, you leave your eyes to look at young men and women with such lust. Did I know say if you have lusted after a women or man in your heart you have committed adultery? (Mt. 5:28) Oh adulterers repent of your ways my people, repent. Then there is lack of modesty as well in clothing and what is watched and listened too, it is aborent to me .Many of my people wear clothing that draws attention to their bodies and not my spirit. My daughters didn’t I say if you have roused a man to lust you too are also guilty , repent my people. It has become a matter of a fact in your culture and especially your nation. 

This nation that I have raised to be a beacon of righteousness has caused many other nations to fall into harlotry. So I am calling for reformation, reforming of my church, of my people, of the nations dear one. To reform your lives little ones is to run away from these sins, to rend your hearts knowing that you have been displeasing to me and then to change . Change from your ways of offenses. I do not even want to began speaking on the thoughts of the hearts of my people. Do you understand that I dwell with in you to the least among the greatest. Every thought that passes through your mind is known in heaven. All of heaven hears you, so I ask you if you heard  these things would you be embarrassed? Would you repeat your thoughts out loud? No, my people you wouldn’t. Did I know say that every idle word you would be held accounted for (Mt. 12:36). Not just what passes through your lips but what passes through your heart. 

So many of my people are held captive by gossip, slander, bitterness, resentment, unbelief, and unforgivness of themselves and their brothers, Yes, you desire for me to forgive you of your sins but ignorer to forgive you, you also must forgive my people. 

This is a time of deep searching, deep purifying, and deep repentance. I will not put the new wine in the old wine skin. It must be a pure vessels unto honor. Those who are willing to be living sacrifices and do my will alone. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother (Mt. 12:50). So revival indeed is coming. It will unfold before your eyes little one. All that you have desired to see, souls on fire for me, in love with me alone, holding know other affection besides my will. That day is coming very soon but repentance must take place. So to my shepherds, my preachers, my teachers and prophets. Out with the old and in with the new. No longer preach this tainted prosperity gospel which I never walked or had my apostles pen, but man have made their own gospel and their own Jesus. Began to cry from the rooftops Repent, repent, repent , for the kingdom of God is at hand and his glory is coming to those who avail themselves.”

I responded, Lord these are strong words

Jesus responded,

Yes ,beloved my words are spirit and life. It gives life to the bones, I am calling the dead bones to rise. Oh I love my people and my brides. I am calling them all back to me and having to use this measures to prepare them for what is ahead and in preparation for my coming.”

Thank you lord for the grace to hear your voice, to walk in obedience to you and for a life giving word Love you Jesus help me to be faithful

That was the end of Jesus message

-From Jesus with Love

The Power Of Your Prayers

From Jesus With LoveLeave a comment

March 14, 2020


I woke up that day feeling somewhat somber, it had snowed and there was no sun. I left the front community house and went into St. Joseph’s hermitage to pray. I love being away, alone with my beloved. Just to contemplate him, to pour out my heart to him and just to be in his presence.

Whiles in prayer, praying the rosary I saw Blessed Mother so beautiful in her glory.  She was hovering over every prayer petition listening so attentively and then acting on it immeaditley. First I prayed for the schools and I saw her hovering over all the universities praying along side with me, then I prayed over the children as she extended her arms and mantle over all the children of the world. Then I prayed over all the mosque and nations of Islam for conversion. I saw her hovering over different mosque releasing graces and dictating  prayers in her authority. Indeed she is truly the Queen of Heaven. In awe at this vision and still a bit unsure I came before the Lord after prayer saying,

Lord is there anything on your heart? I feel as though you were giving me some thoughts on the power of prayer. Oh Lord by faith I write ( I said smiling),l forgive me Lord


Jesus began,

“Oh my little one, my beloved one, I am right here. I see how you have been assailed with so many doubts and fears. This is an assignment not only against you, but the community, and the world at large especially in your nation. I want you all to began praying against a spirit a fear, doubt, and unbelief. Run to my Mother in the rosary to take down this strong man of fear. That will keep many captive, held in darkness and many moving by their emotions rather than my will. So please pray against these things. Truly, when your focus is kept on me alone, I alone am your rock and will give you peace. I alone am your anchor admits the prevailing winds and waters that desire to turn you away from the direction I am taking you dear one, so pray.

 I do want to talk with you concerning the power of prayer. Indeed how sublime it is. It’s never by the eloquence of your speech, how much scripture you know or the words you even say, but it’s about the condition and state of your heart. Prayer is to look within yourself, where I dwell and lift all things to heaven. Wether it’s good or bad and give me thanks. It is to yield yourself to the will of the Father and placing yourself in your rightful position. Right before my throne, trusting confidently that I hear the petition of your heart. Your every thought and sigh that is lifted to me. For you are indeed seated in heavenly places. Oh how my people have lost this and continue to walk in unbelief and lack of faith in prayer. Do they not realize I desire to move through my vessels when they pray. 

History is indeed written by prayer. If the knew the power of their most simplest prayer revival, change would’ve have come so long ago, but once again traditions and eloquence of man have taken their position instead.

 Many shy away from prayer because of so many lies that have creeped in the church. That you must be anointed, that prayer is a gift some have and some don’t. That you must be able to prayer with large words or intention, or the worst of all that you can’t pray as a sinner. That I wont hear you. Lies, lies lies, I hear the prayers of the most lowliest of people and of the most wicked. For the sun shines on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:45).

 It is about the state of your heart. If anyone would pray with belief, faith, and trust that I will hear them. I am there with ears opened to hear what they say knowing already their need before thy speak (Matthew 6:8). All of heaven hears the prayers of the people on earth. The most purest of hearts are those prayers said by those who pray my will. So that is the most important thing to seek when praying. Is to seek my will and give me thanks for what I do and I allow. 

 Also my Mothers prayers are POWERFUL. So many lies have been told concerning the rosary. How the demons hate her and her intercession. They will do anything to stop or hinder the prayers of the rosary from going forth, but I will not allow it. Tell them to pray the rosary, pray with intention and wholeheartedness. Seek to have my Mother as their prayer partner. Just as you saw, as you pray she takes every request as her own and she stays with those request until it comes to fulfillment according to my will. Indeed her Immaculate Heart will triumph in the end. I say all these things to encourage you, those in the community and my little ones who are praying. Who feel they is no fruit to be seen or found. My people continue to pray, keep praying. Your are sowing seeds on good soil, fields and grounds. In time very soon there will be copious fruit ripe at the seems. As praises rise up from the ends of the earth because of my mercy and faithfulness. So pray, dear ones pray.” 

-From Jesus With Love

The Stench of Gossip

From Jesus With Love

“The sin of Gossip is like a smelly diaper before me and all of heaven”  -Jesus


Yes, Gossip has a stench to it whew, I have stunk a time or two….okay if I can be honest many times. Gossip is when you speak about someone negatively and they are not present to defend themselves. Furthermore, in the eyes of the Lord gossip is even when you THINK negatively about someone in your heart. Some may object and say wait a minute but, I didn’t speak bad about anyone so how can that be gossip? We forget that the Lord dwells in our hearts. John 14:23
So if he dwells in our hearts then Jesus and all of heaven hears our every thought.


Psalm 139:2-4 You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know where I go and where I lie down. You know everything I do. Lord, even before I say a word, you already know it. (NCV translation)


You see in heaven everything is transparent, every thought is known before the Lord and all the saints. Not just when we arrive there but even now, how embarrassing! It makes you take a good look at your heart attitude and the thoughts of your heart to ensure they are pure. That is what the Lord is desiring a people, a bride with a pure heart, pure motive, and pure thoughts to dwell in. A pure heart to the Lord is irresistible and many of us speak with our lips concerning the things of God but, our hearts are far from him.


Matthew 15:8 These people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me.


Gossip is such a serious offense because not only do you speak against your brother or sister but, in actuality anytime you gossip you are speaking against Jesus himself. We forget many times that Christ too lives in that person, whether they know him or not they are an image of him. So when we speak against anyone out loud or in our hearts we “scourge” the Lord all over again. We put him back on the cross beating him not with whips as did the Roman soldiers but with our words. Not only that but you open a door for the demons to sift you and the person you were gossiping too. Gossip is a double edge sword as it causes you to sin and the other person you were speaking too, even if they just listened it’s a sin as well. Don’t let them spread whatever it is you told them because now you have caused a greater breach for more demons to come and many more to fall into sin. 


There was a story that I was told concerning Gossip where a lady went into confession and told a priest that she had sinned by Gossip. The priest told the women go home get a pillow and cut it. Then pour all the contents of the pillow outside your window. So she did as the priest instructed then came back to him he then told her to go back and pick up each feather that had been poured out the pillow. She retorted why that is impossible and the priest let her know that’s how it was when she gossiped. It will be impossible to repair the damage as it has spread everywhere.


The same goes with the contents of our hearts when we think a negative thought about someone it spreads through our hearts and all of heaven. When we then approach the Lord we come with unconfessed sin and with this stench that is so repugnant to him and all of heaven. Twice the Lord has shown me the sin of Gossip in my own heart. Once, was when I had just started to do communion and had a beautiful picture of the Lord in front of me. I had just consecrated the bread and wine then all of a sudden an invisible force knocked down the cup spilling the Lords blood everywhere and on his photo. I was completely shocked and flabbergasted, I knew this was an attack but why would the Lord allow his body and blood to be desecrated in that way. I knew I had opened a door so I went to my rhema book and I got “Gossip”. I was stiff in fear, humility and lost for words as I saw the blood just running down the picture of his face.  Initially I was confused because I knew how devastating it was to Gossip and tried very hard not to speak against anyone then the Lord made me to know it was the conversations of my heart he had heard. Where I spoke against a brother in my heart.  I couldn’t believe it and began to cry in repentance that I had hurt the Lord so deeply. That indeed when I spoke against this brother in my heart I had blooded the Lord all over again with my words. That is how devastating Gossip of the mouth and heart is to the Lord.


Then another time was just today, here on the mountain. I found myself discontent, grumbling in my heart having to clean a feces bucket that was for my superiors. I had thought to myself why they couldn’t do it. I immediately tried to cast down the thought but, it was too late it had slipped into my heart then I heard the Lord admonish me saying


“I respect my servants very much anyone who treats them with scorn and contempt will pay severely for it”


“Gulp” lump in throat moment wouldn’t you say? Then I got home asking the Lord what he wanted me to do with my time using my bible promises book. Which I use for discernment and I got “Gossip” another lump in my throat and of course I objected really examining my conversations I had throughout the day. However I remembered my grumbling from earlier and asked the Lord was he talking about the attitude of my heart and the negative thought I had. I got “Holy Spirit oh another lump in my throat but, the good thing is it led me to write this blog lol. As the Lord continues to have me bare my weakness and his correction in my soul so others can learn.


So what has been the conversations of your heart? If people could read your mind would it line up with what your mouth is saying? Have you had negative conversations about others in your heart as if no one can hear you forgetting God can and all of heaven? Sorry to say you are stinking right about now. So repent before the Lord in your heart and confess these thoughts with the person you were thinking so negatively about to ensure you leave no doors open for the demons to sift you. More importantly examine your heart and take every thought captive that rises up against God or your brother/sister. God bless you!

-From Jesus With Love

New Year, New Habit

From Jesus With Love

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October 4th, 2019 I took vows for my vocation as sister of the Fransican Oblate of Mount Carmel which so happened to be St. Francis of Assisi “ feast day”. It was the most exiciting, emotional, nerve racking day of my life lol. That is, the day I officilay said goodbye to the world and took on my new name and earthly garments… my habit

As a protestant growing up I was unaware of who St. Francis of Assisi was or the saints at large. I didn’t know very much about the “religious life” only what I had seen on TV, with nuns and monks. My dad however, is Catholic and upon me giving my life to Jesus he had mentioned to me that maybe I should join a catholic convent because I was so zealous for the Lord. Immeaditely I retored in my pride that the Lord was not into denominations and I didn’t need to join a covent to walk out my faith.” Oh my, how I reaked with pride and still do but the Lord is truly bringing me lower and lower in humility as he shows me the nothing I truly am. So now 2 years later, I have taken my religious vows and joined the order of one of the greatest saints, who would’ve thought… I know Jesus did lol. He is the only one who could’ve taken a fashion designer pursuing the world, success, honor, fame and put her in the most beautiful garment in all the world…a habit.

1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

You see St. Francis took those words quite literally, and all of God’s word. His heart burned to live out the gospel just as Jesus did and by the Lords grace he did just that. He was a son of a wealthy merchant who was also into the high life. He embarked on a military career where he wanted to become a knight. However, through a serious of illness which stopped this pursuit and 2 visions from God. The Divine intervened and he began to pursue the Lord and in a church looking upon a cross he heard Jesus say “Go, Francis and repair my church, which as you see is falling into ruin”. Francis immeaditely thought the Lord was speaking about the church he was in, St. Damaian which was run down. So he went to his Fathers shop and sold all the fine linens to get money to rebuild the church. The Father was irate, renounced him, beat Francis, took him to trial before the Bishop of his time demanding all the money back. The Bishop at the time told him to give his Fathers money back and that the Lord would provide for him to rebuild the church. At that point Francis, had a divine enlightened as the scripture from Matthew came to his mine “ Our Father who are in Heaven”. He renounced his entire family, father, fortune and realized now had a Father in heaven who would provide for him. He needed no connection with the world, he stripped off all his clothes gave them to his Father as the Bishop covered him and as he turned his back literally on the world. He then placed upon himself “ a brown potatoe sackcloth” as his garment of choice. To love our lady Poverty as our Lord Jesus did

St. Francis, heart burned to live the gospel out literally by these scriptures revealed to him by the Lord.

Matthew 10:8 Freely have you received freely give.

Luke 9:3 “Take nothing for your journey,” he instructed them. Don’t take a walking stick, a traverlers bag, good, money or even a change of clothes”

Matthew 19:21 Jesus answered, “if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possesions and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven. Then come, follow me”

Francis took these words literally and lived out these scriptures unto his death which have impacted the church still centuries later. These same scriptures the Lord burned in my heart to take very seriously and literally. After losing my job, I began to give all my things away, giving to the poor and he desires for me not too charge any fee in anything that I do or give becaue I have freely reiceved. So coming to New Mexico I had no idea what the Lord had in store and didn’t know what to expect. However, it was after a month of being here that I learned Father and Mother Clare where Fransiscan and as we watched the movie “ Brother sun, sister Moon” about the life of St. Francis of Assisi my heart burned yet again. This is always wanted I wanted, or better yet what the Lord wanted for me! I just didn’t see any example in front of me to follow.

Now putting on the habit was a different story, when I found out that I would have too, or let me rephrase that. That I would get to wear the habit for the rest of my life as a wedding garment unto the Lord I was repulsed at first. I could live the life of a Franscican with the Lords help but, to really let go of the world in that way, I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. It took about 2 more months after watching that film then one day the Lord impressed it on Father Ezekiels heart that he wanted his bride in a habit NOW. No more waiting, not only that but, he wanted to give me a new name I was perplexed to say the least. After hearing these things which I couldn’t object too my heart was racing. I came face to face with the reality that maybe my heart was still in the world, I was so attached to my looks, my persona, and my name. My, my, my sheesh, does someone need to die to self or what lol. Immeaditly I told them I would adhere to the Lords request but, if they would give me a moment too to talk with him. So I ran to Blessed Mothers prayer tree and just bared my heart too her. I told her about my fears, anxieties, and once again what people would think. However, I told her if Jesus wanted this I wanted it too but please give me the peace and fill my heart to love the Lords will. She did just that as she always does!! Blessed Mother is the best, I found myself within an hour flooded with such peace , joy and even a new name. I heard in my spirit “ your name is Mary Elisha, Mary Elisha” so I sought the Lord on discernment and he confirmed that was him.

So on Oct 4th, which we didn’t plan for but Jesus did, I took my religious vows and made a professed my vocation as a third order Franscain oblate. Nana, died that day for the world and all of heaven too see as my witnessess that I indeed had renounced the world and had taken up my wedding garment from the Lord, my habit. An oblate is simply the noun tense of an Oblation which means: a thing presented or offered to God. So one who has made an offering of their life to God as a living sacrifice, picking up their cross daily and following Jesus. The grey habit is to signify “sackcloth” and the brown portion of my garment is called a scapular. It represents Our Blessed Mother who came to one of the Carmelite saints “Simon Stock” wearing the same habit in an apparition. She was wearing the brown scapular and holding a scapular that goes around your neck. Also holding infant Jesus who was wearing the same thing. The scapular represents our servanthood putting the apron on, washing the feet of all those we meet and a brown cord with 5 knots for our 5 vows. A vow of chasity (which is faithfulness to the Lord), a vow of obedience, a vow of holy poverty, a vow of substantial prayer and a vow of substantial solitude. Carmelites dedicated their lives very much like Prophet Elijah and Elisha in prayer and solitude.

I took off the old life, the old nature, the old creation which belongs to my former manner of life which was corrupt with deceitful desires and now have put on my new self, increated after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. I have been made new! My habit is a sign to my family, friends and the world that I no longer belong to the world nor love the world but have been sent as the Lords’s bride and disciple to serve, love, honor all in humility, simplicy and poverty.

I hope you get a “New Habit” this year too!

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-From Jesus With Love