Daddy Where Are You?….When God Hides Himself: Blind Faith

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Isaiah 45:15
Truly, You are a God who hides Himself, O God of Israel, Savior!

When I would read in scripture about God hiding himself it almost always equated to sin. However, I believe many of us have gone through season where the Lord seems so far from us, distant if you will and then were always told no God is not far its just that we are far from him. This scripture really explains that indeed the Lord can and will hide himself from us from time to time as I am learning in this season of my life. He hides himself to test us, to grow us in trust and in blind faith in him.

I find myself  in a season where I feel the Lord is calling me into an even deeper trust and truly blind faith in following him. As I am seeking God to discern his directions in certain decision in my life I am just not getting a clear answer, in fact nothing seems really clear. It feels really muddy as I am drudging along past lack of feeling, irritiabilites, fears and the unknown as i feel the Lord keeping saying ” will you trust me, will you trust me”. This has really been a test of faith for me as I look around with no fruit to show or motivate me to continue to labor on. The Lord reminds me will you labor in love of me only”. As I began to pray and ask him if he would give me the grace to love him more because honestly I find myself loving myself  little bit more rather than wanting to endure.

I am beginning to realize that the seasons in our life are not like the season on earth or definitely not as short lol. Sometimes I tend to equate a change of the earthly seasons or even the year as a change in a season of my life. eeeh wrong (sigh)  Candidly, as I struggle to stay encouraged and motivated as things still seem the same. Waiting for prayers to be answered in my family and my own personal life as I am still staying at my moms house, leading a church  small group,  managing a youtube channel, and work. I pictured myself as a little girl out in a huge field searching, looking for her Daddy ( Abba). As I frantically am calling out to him Lord where are you? Daddy where are you? I could just see him standing off which seemed like a distance but ever so near behind me but I didn’t realize it. That when the Holy Spirit began to impress upon my heart that ” When you seek me and I don’t answer you it is mostly likely a test, I sit and wait to see what you will do”

Psalm 26:2
Test me, O LORD, and try me; examine my heart and mind.

 

So I am beginning to understand as we  grow in maturity with the Lord he indeed has to hide himself from time to time to test us. To test our motives and to see if all that he has taught us is ingrained in our hearts and character. That without hearing him, without experiencing him, with out the “feeling” will we do his will? will we follow the ways of his heart? will we trust him? will we follow him in blind faith and do it anyway? Sad to say I have failed one too many times in these test but, I thank the Lord for his mercy and his ever so loving kindness that draws me back to pick me up again. Just to do it all over again….in hopes the next time I will pass the test!

-From Jesus with love

 

A Dance With My Father On This Valentines Day

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dance with my father

Last night the Lord called me into prayer, well actually the pass two nights he has called me to himself. To drop everything I am doing and come into his presence to spend time with him because he needed my comfort, my worship and my love. However,  yesterday was quite different because instead of me dancing with Jesus I just felt the presence of the Father, of Abba. I imagined myself in this beautiful yellow dress, my hair was curly with a red rose in my hair.  As I began to dance in my Fathers arms, I was so overwhelmed by his gentleness, his love and more so his need for me.  God needs us, he truly does each of us are so unique in our creation from head to toe. In all the world there is not one like us therefore the is no one who can take the place of our presence, of our worship and of our love. There is a specif place in the heart of God for each of us and he misses us when we are not there.

You know in this season of my life I am coming to really cultivate and trust the person of the Abba Father. I know that sounds weird right  lol I have been waling with Jesus for 3 years now and I remember the first year just falling madly in love with Jesus asking to know him more and he has definitely answered my prayer. I am still getting to know him even now, then the second year my prayer was Holy Spirit I want to know you, trust in you learn how to relay on you as my teacher. So I came to love and trust the person of the Holy Spirit. However, it  didn’t hit me until last year when the Lord gave me the word “Child Like Trust” did I realize that I didn’t really know God the Father and I had deep father wounds of abandonment as well. Wow he opened my heart up this last year and uprooting somethings I didn’t even know were their. Then he came in and has scooped me up on his lap to just pour out his love and heart on me. As we were dancing I began to cry because he was telling me how many have him so wrong especially his daughters. Many have been heart, abandoned, rejected even abused by their physical fathers and though they may love him through his son Jesus many don’t know him or more importantly know his heart for them. He is not a Father who is critical, judging, demeaning or more importantly he is not a father who will ever forget them, neglect, abandon and reject them.

As we continued to dance Abba Father in the spirit  He put his head on my forehead and this most gentle loving way and said ” You are your Fathers Daughter” I was taking back by those words and tears began to flow. He continued on saying ” You have so much of me in you, you know that strong willed nature, you get it from me” as he touched my nose with his finger.  How many times have we had wrong labels we have received from our own Fathers, or bad characteristic people associate us with connected to our Fathers. So him saying those words were so freeing for me. I thought to myself ….you u know what WOW, I AM MY FATHERS DAUGHTER, Abba Father!

So I just want to encourage you that is how God sees you, beloved.  Look in the mirror, you see that smile, that nose, that chipped tooth, that dimple, your hair, skin color, height, the way you laugh, your strong personality, your introvert ways, your bright creativity, your logic mind, and so much more. He created you perfectly and even if your earthly Father never treated you well, or wasnt really there physically or emotionally, or spoke negative words over you. My beautiful brother/sister you are your Fathers Child, you are created in his image and he soooo desires to take you away from this mundane world into his. Which is heavenly and filled with love, a supernatural love in which you were created from.  So on this valentines day No longer pursue the love that only your Abba Father can give in men or in a women. Avail yourself to him today in worship, Abba Father is inviting you right now to dance with him. In the most exclusive Daddy and Daughter Dance will you say yes? Close your eyes and you will be surprised how God is so desperately waiting to Dance with you, his beautiful daughter today and lavish his love over you!

 

So I am having Date Night With the Lover of my soul again tonight, for our 3rd year anniversary to dance the night away with my Valentine in worship and Praise!!!

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(1st year’s Date Night 2.14.15 where it all began <3_

 

Zephaniah 3:17
For the Lord your God is living among you.
    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.[a]
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Wholly Given Over To Holiness

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Glowing Bible and dark city

(Kevin Carden Photography)

I heard a pastor say that this millennial generation has some of the best preaching, teachings and catchy lines since the church began because we have podcast, old sermons, great man and and woman of God we can glean from. As the the word of God says in the latter days knowledge would increase. So we have obtain much knowledge to feed our generation but we  lack more than any generation….personal holiness.
How many of  us have allowed the word of God to transform our heart, our minds and our way of life? Its not just about catchy phrases, cute apparel, how much wisdom you know or how well you can recite another preachers sermon but how have you allowed the word of God to take root to transform your life.

1 Peter 1:16
Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy

Interestingly the Lord never said ” YOU ARE holy for I am holy…..no he said BE Holy for I am holy. That means there is a part that all believers take part in the work and process of becoming holy. Yielding yourself completely to the holy spirit not even knowing the cost but giving yourself solely and whole heartily to it because you love Jesus. Not out of obligation or religious superiority but out of the love for the God that you serve to be more like him. The Holy Spirit is who empowers us to live holy lives before the Lord. I just love this statement “ We will not successfully resist the temptation of hollow, fleeting pleasures if we live in a “fascination vacuum.” We must be preoccupied with a superior fascination. A spiritually bored believer is vulnerable to Satan when he comes knocking at their door—that is why sins of our flesh are running rampant in the Body of Christ. But my point is not to give a list of other preoccupations; rather, to say that the reason that so many believers are addicted to fleshly pleasures is because they live in a spiritual vacuum. They have settled down and become content to live in spiritual boredom. I urge you not to be content to live this way. The key to successfully resisting temptation is not just loving Jesus in a vague, general way and hoping to avoid sin. We need something that really grips us spiritually. We need to live fascinated! Fascinated with God. I am not talking about going to Bible school, going on a missions trip, or being on an outreach team. We need something far more gripping than that: in the secret place of our lives we need to know and experience more of Jesus.”

What does Holiness look like?  that “The call to holiness is a call to enjoy God. Holiness is not a call to miss out on fun. Yes, we are missing out  sinful activities, but our heart is not missing out. Those activities will never satisfy you, nor will they refresh you or deeply connect you to other people. They will keep you broken, isolated, and disconnected”

Psalm 37:3–4
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart

 

As the Lord continues to take me on the journey of Holiness I have learned that the way to holiness is delighting yourself in the things of God, letting go of world pleasures and comforts that truly will never satisfy. Most importantly relying on Gods grace and asking the Holy Spirit for help when the Lord desires for me to let go of something I want to hold onto.  How we will make a difference in this world as believers is when we look separate from the world, walking in righteousness, holiness and carrying the presence of God to a dark, lonely, hopeless and dying world. The apostles and saints of old lived holy lives and I have come to see unfortunately in this generation to pursue living a  life of holiness you are immediately called “legalistic”, or “religious” but obedience is not legalism it is just that …..obedience. Our generation needs to take the word of God a lot more serious because indeed Jesus is serious about his word. I remember first reading the bible with the Holy  Spirit and I began to be so convicted of my lifestyle. I thought I could still profess Jesus and do what I desire thinking he would understand…when I asked him Jesus you are really serious about your word, I didn’t expect to him to respond until he said YES. I thought to myself….ooooh lol, thats when the Holy Spirit began to do a radical change in my heart and in my life as I continue to climb this mountain of holiness with Jesus. Falling many times in the process but yielding myself to his correction and his mercy and grace to MAKE ME HOLY AS HE IS HOLY

-From Jesus With Love

Prophetic Message From Jesus
Jesus began “As in everything we have done before, turtle steps; the steady, unwavering tortoise wins over the impetuous hare. And My Mercies are new every morning as you pursue the course set out for you. Just be aware, My love, continually, that you are moving towards the goal of detachment from all earthly values, even the opinions of men. Shall the servant of God hearken to the wisdom of men? No.”

“I’m calling you to live a holy life no matter which life you choose. But if you choose holiness with great consistency, you will find it increasingly hard to live in the world. That is why I am forever telling you who are young on this channel to leave the world and join a mission effort. But you will have to come to Me and ask for courage, because everyone will come against you in your decision.

Crosses Are The Greatest Gift God Has Given To His Creation

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passion

(my first painting “THE PASSION” with the Holy Spirit)

That was a rhema the Lord  gave a few days ago and I began to ask how can crosses, how can suffering be a gift? You know this is a really hard time and season for a lot of believers because of all that is going on in the world. The Lord has spread out his splinters from his cross and given each person a designer cross. In order to carry for lost souls and the world. Suffering is a topic not really popular in the church now a days or not really mentioned pertaining to Christians but we must understand and I have come to learn is that

A rhema
“The greater the suffering , the greater intimacy and understanding”

That seems so backwards doesn’t it but its so true. Moses met God in the burning bush after tending sheep for 40 years, Joseph cultivated a character of righteousness in his 13 years in prison, In the several years running for his life in the caves of Israel David could hear the voice of the Lord having his heart not to kill his enemy Saul, and of course a man who wrote the third of the bible given to him by the Holy spirit majority of it being written when he was prison. John the disciple wrote all of revelation in prison as well. Truly the more you suffer the more you look more like our bridegroom and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The Lord spoke to me about three weeks ago to pain his passion. Mind you I have never painted before but with the help of he Holy Spirit sidenote: He is able to do anything lol I have been able to do it with his assistance. The Lord wanted me to paint his true suffering many times we see movies that depict not any harsh torturous treatment but we have no idea how our Jesus suffered. If we did we would realize how precious his gift was and definitely wouldn’t complain about the tiny…tiny…tiny crosses we have to carry.

The Lord gave a vision to a young nun called St. Mary Magdalen of Sancta Clara Order, Franciscan where the Lord revealed the 15 secret tortures of Jesus.

They fastened My feet with a rope and dragged Me over the stepping stones of the staircase, down into a filthy, nauseating cellar.

2. They took off My clothing and stung My body with iron joints.

3. They attached a rope around My body and pulled Me on the ground from end to end.

4. They hanged Me on a wooden piece with a slip knot until I slipped out and fell down. Overwhelmed by this torture, I wept bloody tears.

5. They tied Me to a post and pierced My body with various arms.

6. They struck Me with stones and burnt Me with blazing embers and torches.

7. They pierced Me with awls; sharp spears tore My skin, flesh and arteries out of My body.

8. They tied Me to a post and made Me stand barefoot on an incandescent metal sheet.

9. They crowned Me with an iron crown and wrapped My eyes with the dirtiest possible rags.

10. They made Me sit on a chair covered with sharp pointed nails, causing deep wounds in My body.

11. They poured on My wounds liquid lead and resin and, after this torture, they pressed Me on the nailed chair so that the nails went deeper and deeper into My flesh.

12. For shame and affliction, they drove needles into the holes of My uprooted beard. They tied my hands behind My back and led Me walking out of prison with strikes and blows.

13. They threw Me upon a cross and attached Me so tightly that I could hardly breathe anymore.

14. They threw at My head as I lay on the earth, and they stepped on Me, hurting My breast. Then, taking a thorn from My crown, they drove it into My tongue.

15. They poured into My mouth the most immodest excretions, as they uttered the most infamous expressions about Me.

Then, Jesus added,
“My daughter, I desire that you let everybody know the Fifteen Secret Tortures in order that everyone of them be honored.”
“Anyone who daily offers Me, with love, one of these sufferings and says with fervor the following prayer, will be rewarded with eternal glory on the day of judgement.”

2 Timothy 2:12
If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us:

As Christians were called to deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Jesus. So suffering is inevitable as a true disciple of Jesus Christ until he restores this earth in righteousness. Now we are in turbulent times and the Lords desire that we would carry our crosses ( annoyances, inconveniences, sicknesses, trials) without complaining for the world. So that he may use it to draw souls into the kingdom in these last final hours.

-From Jesus With Love

 

Tending the Sheep: God’s Preparation and Process

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1 Samuel 16:13, 17
13 Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers. And the Spirit of the Lord rushed upon David from that day forward. And Samuel rose up and went to Ramah.” …….
17 So Saul said to his servants, “Provide for me a man who can play well and bring him to me.” 18 One of the young men answered, “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.” 19 Therefore Saul sent messengers to Jesse and said, “Send me David your son, who is with the sheep.” 20

 

This past Tuesday we had our young adults service where the pastor talked about insecure and secure leaders. She made stark comparisons between the leadership of Saul and David. There was one thing that really struck my heart, that after David being anointed king he immediately went back to doing what he was doing…tending the sheep. Then later was summoned to serving the reigned King Saul. He immediate wasn’t placed on the throne, He never showed any impatience about Gods timing , He didn’t feel that tending the sheep was beneath him now that he had been anointed king. To be frank he didn’t allow his new found title or anointing to cause him to despise returning to his humble beginnings. David trusted God in the preparation and the process. There is a lot I can learn from David.

I found myself waking up last week feeling discouraged and impatience about my situation. Remembering the promises of God and what he has called me too I began to be frustrated still staying at my moms house and now babysitting all day. Finding myself struggling to be a good steward of my time and being able to get any work done for the Lord because of watching the kids. I began to feel like this was all that there was  because at the end of last year I found myself in the same predicament helping my other sister out by taking her to work@5 am, taking the kids to school by am and baby sitting them after-school. It was rough as I found myself grumbling and complaining in discontentment asking the Lord when….when will I do what you have called me too. Then He said

“Stop complaining I am preparing you for marriage”

I was like waaaaa lol, okay Jesus. The interesting thing is I have a heart for children and I know I am called to them. One prophecy I received is that I am called to missions and my life will be a testimony to children. I always had it in my mind to raise a lot of kids or even a orphanage. So I should’ve known that the Lord was preparing me with children ministry 101 with my nieces and nephews. Every step in this journey has been preparation. The Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance what was said at our young adults service about King David this week when I woke wanting to sit in my discouragement and discontentment. Nana, you are just now in your sheep field as David was that doesn’t take away your anointing, doesn’t take away the calling upon your life or my presence. As David went back o the sheep field after being anointed to be prepared some more so do I train my servants the same way who are called to a high calling. Find your confidence, security and trust in me and me alone not what you are doing. Don’t become impatience but trust in the field is where you are being trained. At your mom’s house is where you are being trained to “love until it hearts, for charity begins at home”, where you learn to put children before ministry, where you learn how to be patience with he little ones and teach them about me, where you learn how to manage your time and multi-task, where I am preparing you for motherhood, where you learn humility and total reliance on me. Trust MY preparation and MY process, when you do that I am forced to continuously give you more graces to do what I have called you to do.

So have you found yourself excited, called and anointed by God for a task but you find yourself going back….back too your sheep field (whatever that may look like). Back the the place of humble beginnings and it looks like you have gone backwards then forwards? Well, praise God lol Don’t get discouraged, impatience, or discontent but began to first see the lesson he wants you to learn in your sheep field and most importantly trust the preparation and process being secure that the Lord our God is faithful to finish and complete what he has started!

-From Jesus with Love

When Your Pregnant But No One Notices

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So how can one be pregnant carrying something in their womb but no one notices? That’s what you call spiritual pregnancy. You see every person was sent on this earth with Gods seed of light in them. Carrying a mission and a DNA in them that they only can uniquely accomplish which is called a destiny.  Many unfortunately never birth what God created them for out of fear,  laziness, comfortability, distraction, pride,  etc and many more down right reject Jesus…. the only one who is able to birth the missions into completion.  As a believer its important we are aware of this. You are carrying a seed of heaven within you that is meant to impact not only the world but, eternity. You must first recognize that your carrying something to ensure you don’t abort it.

Psalm 22:9-10
Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.  From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God.

 

First Trimester- the most critical (don’t turn back to the world)

So this is the month of conception when you finally say yes to Jesus to surrender all to him and make Lord of your life. The Holy Spirit comes dwell within you and bring life to the seed God has placed in you.

  • THE BREAKING
  • This was a time for me of excitement I knew I was called by the Lord but, wasnt sure for what or how he would use me.  In excitement I told everyone thinking they would be excited too but realized very quickly spiritual pregnancy is not at all like physical pregnancy. Not everyone will be happy for you or even understand lol It’s okay because the conception was between you and the holy spirit. He actually is very private and loves to work behind the scenes so trust him.
  • In this trimester there is no number to how long the season will be. So you have to trust even when you don’t see anything growing. You must’n be moved by what people say or seek peoples validation it could cause you to turn back to the world.
  • Just as you would in your a physical pregnancy you have to change attitudes and create healthy habits for the baby. That’s the same with a spiritual pregnancy in this season. There will be a lot of opposition and spiritual warfare that will tempt you to give up. Don’t fall for it! You have to began some healthy habits of prayer, seeking the Lord, purity of eye, mind and body. So the Holy spirit can dwell in you fully now that your heart has become his home. So press on family you have something to birth!

 

Second Trimester-Growing in the things of the Lord

  • THE TESTING & PRUNING
  • People began to see something is different about you, a “glow” of course the LIGHT OF CHRIST IN YOU!
  • Once you pass the first trimester season it doesn’t get any easier necessarily but you do gain more trust in God and his promises. In this season you began to see some growth, some fruit showing in your life. Your growing in virtue as the Lord continues to test and prune you.
  • The only way you can grow is through testing and trials. Don’t be discouraged the more trials you face are opportunities for accelerated maturity in Christ.
  • In this season I began to grow in my faith as Jesus began to answer prayers. He just left me in awe of him. I began to be sure of my identity in Christ not by what he did through me or even what others said but by His words. I knew I was carrying something in me and was excited to see what God had planned.’ In this season i really learned about suffering and laying down my life for the Lord in order for him to trust me with the gift that is inside of me.
  • I realized in this season Jesus began to trust me! He trusted me with revelation, secret of his heart and direction. He would ask of me to do things for him to see if I would be obedient and faithful in the small things. So press on family you have something to birth!

 

Third Trimester-Birth pains (persevere don’t give up, don’t abort)

  • THE BREAKING, THE TESTING, THE PRUNING, THE WORKING, THE SUFFERING, & DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN lol
  • Don’t complain began to praise God for what he is about to birth in you. Let your faith arise in expectancy for what your hoping for even if you don’t see!
  • In this trimester/season people can testify of the work God is doing in you and even the vision God has but, many wont understand the process….I tell you too preserver. Don’t give in to people’s criticism or praise for it will be to your ruin. Unshakable faith is looking only for praise and or correction of God alone. He alone has a just viewpoint of your heart and knows your motive.
  • In this season God will continue to break you in areas you thought you were strengthen, test you further by stretching you, prune more layers in your heart, allow you to suffer in various ways all while doing work for him. In order to see if you truly desire to live for him and him alone.
  • You may have a vision or a knowing of the mission the Lord has within you but all the pieces haven’t come together yet. However, you see his footprints in the different steps he has taken you on to get you prepared and ready.
  • I am in that season now and I believe its the most critical because so much going on around you spiritually for the birth of what God has in you. Many times the Lord will put you on bed rest (a waiting period, where you have to endure patiently until the mission is ready to be birth) In this period is where you will get opinions from everyone else about what you should and shouldn’t be doing. Many people questioning your walk or vision with the Lord because they don’t see the “baby” but you must preserver. Trust in what God has spoken to you and know that this is a vital time to listen and walk closely with Jesus. To preserver in obedience to him and him alone. One wrong choice could cause you delay and leave you murmuring on in the wilderness until death like the Israelites. So endure patiently family something great is about to birth in you for his glory!!!

 

Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart

-From Jesus with Love

Jesus says “Console Me”

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PicMonkey Collage

I have come to know the Lord in the most intimate way through suffering. The dreaded word many Christians don’t want to hear or go through but very much apart of a believers life. The Lord never said that this world would be perfect full of love, peace  and joy no he actually warned us that we would have trials and tribulation but to take heart because He has already overcome! Were called to be overcomers in a ever increasing dark, angry, deteriorating world. The times were living in our treacherous when many are looking for answer’s, protection, hope and love in  all the wrong places which can only be found in Jesus! He is indeed coming back very soon!

John 16:33
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

There is a mystery in suffering, that our God suffers with us too. Suffering is caused because of sin and  we live in a fallen world. Jesus took the sins of he world upon him on the cross yet still suffers with us and will continue too until the world is restored to righteousness at the end of the age. We serve a God who is very human and many times we forget. As many go about there day business as usual and act as if God is so far away from all that is going on in the world blaming him but, oh how very present he is and near to the brokenhearted. His heart grieves for the many souls who lose their lives, who go through trials, who are hurting and especially the ones who don’t know him. His heart grieves for the many who still blaspheme his name, who reject him, mock him, who love wickedness and hate truth. He hears the cries of all in this fallen world and when one tear drops those are his tears he cries through them, therefore not one tear hits the ground unnoticed by Jesus. How his heart breaks desperately for his children every day and when you lay down your life to suffer with Jesus he will let you in on whats on his heart.  Now more than ever Jesus desires consolement, yes our God desires to be comforted by his creation, by his children, by none other than his bride. Which is a sweet consolation to his wounded heart. Will you console Jesus in this hour?

With great suffering comes great intimacy, trust and understanding

Jesus what’s on your heart? 

“These are turbulent times my beloved, turbulent times. I am hurting and suffering with the world. Many of my children are doing things for me but, very few are WITH me. I desire to be with my bride in this hour don’t wander off in doing things for me my beloved but, stay close to me. Console me, my beloved console me. Heal the wounded heart of your king, your Lord with worship, with your time and with you praise. Your prayers are a sweet incense that draws me out of the pain of this dying world into the chambers of my bride’s heart where I am strengthen and comforted by your response to my call. Console me my beloved console me. Many desire to pitch their tents on the mountain of prosperity but, so very few….very few will pitch their tents in the Garden of Gethsemane with me. Where my heart resides still making intercession for souls to come to me. Will you suffer with me my bride? Will you drink the cup of bitterness as I did and still tasting until all is return to me? Will you pitch your tent in Gethsemane? I am lonely my beloved, I long for my brides affection, her attention to detach from all the distractions and business of this world and be with me. Will you watch and pray? Console me, my beloved Console me.”

Your suffering King and Bridegroom-Jesus

 

 

 

Losing My Job To Work For Jesus

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I keep hearing this statement from others “Your one of the busiest people I know with no job”and I realize how very true that is lol. I am working, just working for Jesus now. When I was let go from my job 8 months ago I had no idea what the Lord had ins tore for me. First going through all different emotions of confusion, anxiety, fear and excitement all at the same time. I remember my co-worker saying “don’t worry Nana, don’t look at this as a demotion but a promotion from the Lord”. I just knew the Lord was releasing me into my calling….which is to work for him not at all what I thought it would look like. As I walk with the Lord I am learning I don’t come anywhere close to having him figured out because many times even what he tells me to do doesn’t turn out like I expect. However, working for Jesus is the best retirement, savings, 401K, insurance anyone can ever have!

1 Corinthians 15: 58
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

MY WORK:
I have come to realize that when you work diligently for the Lord and his kingdom you will be criticized or judged. Don’t be surprised by that. Many times I have statements with people thinking I am striving, performing, religious for the Lord or being legalistic lol. However, my passion & my diligence all come from my love I have for Jesus and sense of urgency. As believers we must understand the times we are living in and the time is so short, JESUS IS COMING and we need to be about the Lords business. The enemy is so good at getting many believers right now distracted about petty frivolous things that will bare no fruit in the kingdom. Even when I was working, the Lord would lead me ever so gently to stay up and do vidoes for him on “his” youtube channel even if it was going on 1 am saying ” work whiles there is still daylight (john 9:4)” He would wake me up in the middle of the night to pray.  He would lead me too began a blog and to be diligent about it no matter what. Then at some point had me going out to evangelizing from 3-6 everyday working for him. He now has me leading a small group in our churches young adults ministry, overseeing volunteers at my church, leading monthly outreaches, teaching on youtube, blogging, and most recently taking up piano and sketching! I love it all! Yes, there have been many times I have been weary, discouraged, honestly sometimes even sick and Jesus would so sweetly say to me ” My grace is sufficient for you, if you will do it I will provide more grace to complete it”. He did every time, it would amaze me and in those moments I came to see not only how Gods grace works but, appreciate it all that the more. I began to cultivate a closer relationship with the Holy Spirit, realizing how its Him who does all the work through us all the time. I know work to build up the Kingdom of God in every way possible, my time and my life is not my own anymore. So what work has God called you too and you have been making excuses, been scared or have been delaying, or just down right disobedient? I want to encourage you…..GET TO WORK…we need you in the kingdom!

MY PROVISION:
Wow, if that is one thing the Lord has been teaching me this year is trusting him with my finances and provision. I don’t think I ever have and I can’t say I have complete trust yet however, I know this is a soft spot for many believers. Oh, if we would all just trust him the enemy would no longer have a foot hold on many who are at jobs, places, destinations they were never intended for but they stay for security, convenience or for status. GOD WILL PROVIDE. Once losing my job I was unemployment for 6 months and the Lord kept telling me to trust him with provision to continue working for him and not to look for a job. He finally spoke to me about a job but it didn’t come thru (hence don’t have him figured out lol) .Then a week before my unemployment is about to run out I get a call from my former employer that I have a 401k that I am able to cash out….I was like waaa lol. It came right on time, then of course fear masquerading as “caution” that I need to be wise I can just use that money I should save it but I have come to know in the economy of God. Its all about giving away, sowing, giving until it hurts then the Lord will bring the increase. So I trusted the Lord cashed it out and began sowing in the kingdom in anyway I could trusting that I would sow all that I reaped. Sure enough with my funds getting low again. I got a call from a friend stating they had scholarship money from school and the Lord put me on their heart to sow into what He was doing. I was like, #HUSHJESUSHUSH yet again Lord you came thru!

I am not “vocationally working” for anyone. I have no car or any job prospects. In the eyes of many I may look like lost potential, a bum or even out of my mind lol but, I am working for Jesus. Investing all that I have in the Economy of the Kingdom which will never fail or crash. Trusting and knowing that my return will far out way my investment.  Seek HIS kingdom in all things and everything….I mean everything will be added unto. I am working every so diligently hear on this earth living for eternity. Will you too?

 

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

-From Jesus with Love

Choosing Jesus Or Choosing Nana: The Fight Of Self-Denial

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(Pic credits Kevin Carden website http://www.christianphotoshops.com)

I have found to walk with Christ takes two decisions, first confessing with your mouth and believing in your heart that he is Lord which seals your salvation then…..( the part which majority of us believers struggle with) to DENY YOUR FLESH completely in total surrender that He may live. Which I have come to realize is day by day, decision by decision to choose Jesus rather than to choose Nana. I don’t pass the test every time but the longer I am walking with Christ the more apparent that call seems, the quicker I find myself willing to sacrifice my desires for his…Now I didn’t say easier lol Don’t be mistaken it is hard but dying is never easy.

I had given my life to the Lord at a young age but I hadn’t given him my life. So when the Lord called me to surrender my life 3 years ago I hesitatingly did.  Not realizing it would be the greatest, most amazing and difficult decision I had and will ever make. However, I began to get rhemas from the Lord asking for “total surrender” and I would wonder hmmm Lord I have completely surrendered, (or so I thought) I don’t get it.  You have my heart and my life is yours now. Not realizing he wanted complete control of my time, my body, my money, my plans etc….you name it He wants it all. So many times as believers we declare God you can have it all, whatever you want, my life is yours but do we really mean that and are we willing to live a sacrificial, crucified, hedged in life , denying ourselves every worldly pleasure and living only for the perfect will of God?? I would say many Christians don’t , especially in our generation and in our western Christianity.  I remember the Holy Spirit speaking to me these words:

“In this generation we call obedience legalism and holiness religious”

So true! I remember being so frustrated at times because I slowly started noticing as I walked with Jesus there were many things other Christians could do but I couldn’t. For the life of me I couldn’t understand it. I thought the christian life was suppose to be fun with Jesus! lol No, the Lord was like is “your called to be holy and pure for me”. So I have found myself many times making plans, having personal desires and them being completely adverted because Jesus has plans for me as his bride to do instead. So i have been learning to submitted to my bridegroom.

One instance was two days ago, where I found myself weary at my moms house with all my nieces and nephews over. The day felt like I was taking care of a day care lol. I was unable to get any work done really and wanted to get away. Just then a friend from my Kenya team reminded me of  get together they were hosting at their home. Watching the Avengers movie and eating snacks. So having a strong desire to go, I first wanted to make sure it was okay with the Lord first so I asked him for a rhema I got “Sickness” . Now when I get scriptures about that either I am asking for healing or the Lord is saying my mind is sick, I have come in agreement with wrong thinking…hmmm. So having a slight nudge he didn’t want me to go and would rather have me spend time with him. I thought I am not sick (like I didn’t know) and went anyway lol. As soon as I got in front of their house a song came on the radio guess what the Lyrics where ” There is a sickness in the world where people are looking to fill the void but can only be filled with Jesus” All  I could do was laugh, I was like nooooo. Jesus I am already here (the Lord can use anything to talk to us by the way). Then the second song came on lyrics ” Lord help me to listen to what you tell me to do”. I reasoned with the Lord saying, moms house is crowded where can i go to spend time. Then the idea came to mind to go to my sisters place, she was out of town for  trip so would have the place to ourselves. So with my face in my palm, I looked up looking at the inviting house, movie, fellowship and snacks or leave and head to my sisters. I had a decision to make….To Choose Jesus or Choose Nana. Nana, wanted to have escape, have fun and relax with friends and Jesus wanted to escape with me, have fun and have me relax in his heart…… (with a sigh ) lol I said yes, Lord. I chose Jesus (that is all by his grace)

I made my way to my sisters apartment and there I had 3 hours of the most awesome and intimate time with alone in her walking closet. I left feel at peace, no longer burdened, loved and feeling full of purpose. Jesus has called me and if not all of us to a life of TOTAL SURRENDER . We must understand it takes our permission for the Lord to complete His work in us. He is a gentleman, he wont force his will on you but will you yield to his? Jesus has asked me to live a life denying myself of  the news, of movies, of TV, of Entertainment. of certain food, of sweets, idle time wasted hanging out,  many worldly pleasures, worldly comforts and live on the bare necessities which come from him alone just to name a few.  It feels like a tug of war every time but, God is so gracious and patient with me lol. He has me hedged finely and I am learning to appreciate that rather than complain. I get asked many times lately about intimacy with Jesus and I always tell them one of the many components to walking with Jesus so intimately is to deny yourself, not all at once. The Lord works with us all in stages and by layers, its one day at a time waking up to say I choose you Jesus today above my desires, my plans and my comforts so will you  make a decision and choose Jesus every time? Ask him for the grace to make you willing to be made willing!

Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

Being Ordained By God

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Matthew 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.

I am learning in my walk that its a wonderful grace that’s given to all who are ordained by God. For the longest when the Lord called me I was running for man’s approval, man’s validation, and man’s support of what God had called me to do but when God ordains you He calls the unqualified, the unequipped and the uneducated. Those without status, title, and influence to become a light house in their generation. Fortunately, for me I fit all of those qualification and you do too!

When I began to walk in the direction the Lord called me to I got a lot of opposition. Not only from the enemy but many times from well to do meaning Christians who would question what the Lord told me to do because of my many non-qualifications. I too believed I had to go the “normal route” the way everyone has gone who is called by the Lord but I have come to realize that MY WAY was normal and GODS WAY never is lol.  These are some of the few things I heard and some things I have learned:

The first thing the Lord put on my heart was to start a prayer meeting at my apartment my first year for walking with him. I heard “you don’t have a covering so you shouldn’t do that”….actually I heard there
Psalm 91:4 reassures us, “He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge”
Learned: I am married to Christ so the Holy Spirit is my covering

As the Lord continued to lead me the Holy Spirit began to impart a love in my heart to pray for everyone that I met or encountered. I heard “ you shouldn’t be so quick to pray for everyone or lay hands only be led by the Lord”
Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Learned: God loves everyone and wants to touch everyone through you if you would allow it!

I had many tell me “you need to get a spiritual mother or father to help guide you in this spiritual walk”. So I began searching and the Lord was closing every door.
John 14:26 But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you.
Learned: Although having a spiritual mother and father is good in Gods timing the best counselor is the Holy Spirit who is the best spiritual counselor you can have!

I thought I needed to go to seminary school and others told me that I must if I am called to “ministry” However, when the Lord began to confirm that He would teach me I was scoffed at and called prideful to think that God could teach me.
John 6:44-45 For no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them to me, and at the last day I will raise them up. 45 As it is written in the Scriptures,[a] ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from him comes to me.
Learned: That in fact God loves to teach his children and by the Holy Spirit, He is the best teacher. Furthermore in scripture he even confirms that many of us in these last days would be taught by him

I find myself today unqualified in my own strength but qualified by Gods grace. I find myself unequipped by my own training but equipped by the trials God has allowed. I find myself uneducation without any vocational ministry studies but educated by the Holy Spirit. I find myself without status in the church but in the Kingdom called a “a royal priest”. I find myself without a title but in the Kingdom titled “a warrior bride”. I find myself having no church pulpit but my life being unraveled before the “cloud of witness” as a platform to impact all of eternity!

 

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

 

Yes you….you also are chosen, anointed, appointed and ordained by God in this generation for such a time as this. He will instruct yo and teach you in the way you should go. He will counsel you with his loving eye on you. Stop looking to men and believe what God has said and called you to. So my brother or sister…Go NOW, go into all the world and make Jesus known!

-From Jesus With Love