Unashamed of God’s Strict Love

From Jesus With Love3 Comments

,unashamed

 

Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I’ve come to realize God has a ‘strict love” over me. You may ask what is strict love….I didn’t even know there was such a thing. However its when God has you hedged in finely. He has called me to a life of closeness with him that requires  a great measure of self control and discipline which is all done by his grace of course. However  in this ‘”strict love” many times I found myself complaining, not understanding, pouting, honestly upset wondering why I couldn’t do what others could do. The holy spirit would restrict me from going to certain places., spending my time and using my money selfishly, watching and listening to certain things that many times other Christians could do and feel no conviction. The Holy Spirit had a way of cutting my heart so quickly, convicted me, correcting me swiftly and calling me to himself immeaditley.  The Lord would remind me….you are mine and I am jealous for you.

Exodus 20:5
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,

I remember me and my young sister used to talk about it as we would laugh and say man with the Lord we cant get away with nooooothing! lol Now looking back I see how foolish it was to despise or even resent such a beautiful grace and privilege to be called into a close intimacy with the Lord. I cant lie it hasn’t been easy, actually it has been so difficult and painful. The process of dying to yourself and the Lord taking away every attachment you have so that it may seem you have nothing but most importantly you have him. These past few months, well honestly pretty much my entire walk with the Lord has been scrutinized, criticized and judged by people. Many times close family and friends which seem to hurt the most. Every night I cast it on the Lord and ask him to heal my heart so I may love purely but then another arrow is shot and I am hurting again. The past few weeks have been more so as I began to get remarks for how I look now. I found myself deeply hurt by peoples comment towards me and insecurity and fear made a flight as they both walked through this open door I made by taking my eyes off of Jesus. Once again I found myself defending the call of God on my life or trying to have them understand the call…Gods “strict love” so often that I just stopped answering and talking about Jesus.

It happened this past weekend and when I got home I felt grieved in my spirit. It hit me, that oh my goodness, Nana you have become ashamed at what God has done and is doing in your life because of the reaction of men. So I immediately when to get a word from the Lord  from my rhema box ( a deck of cards with scripture I use to get a word from the Lord) and he gave me the scripture above Romans 5:5 and in big bold letters said SHAME. I burst into tears because I realized how I had hurt Jesus, me out of all people being ashamed of him. I didn’t realize in this way I was ashamed to tell others of God’s “strict love” in fear of what they would say or think. Rather than proclaiming to my family and friends Look what God has done in my life. He has set me free!! but I had become in bondage to them and their thoughts. So as I prayed I asked the Lord to heal my heart and wash away the lies that I held captive as truth that I would be no longer ashamed of what God has done or what he has called me too!

So the Nana of above was full of pride,  allowed self-will to rule, vain glory,  full of ambition, greed and the big hypocrite. I ran to others for opinion, advice and direction. I was in bondage to food and lust of the flesh,  compulsively whatever I felt at the moment. I would constantly show of my body and flaunt “assets’ to get attention from men. I prayed when I felt like it. Would party hard on Saturday and go to church Sunday. I lived in compromise and thought there was such a thing as a “grey area” in Christianity so was okay with other living the same way. When I didn’t pray I would pray concerning MY WILL. MY wants, MY desire, MY plans and expect him to bless it because of course my desire was Gods desire right. This Nana wanted to be a “STAR” a mogul in the making looking up to celebrities,  the entertainment life and the WORLDS height and measure to success in life. I wanted to be rich and successful to honor my family …..but this Nana was still in darkness, lost and headed to destruction……

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If it wasnt for the saving Grace, Mercy and strict love of the Lord this WOMAN wouldn’t be standing before you today. So let me proclaim UNASHAMED of what my God, Jesus Christ has done. I now cover myself in respect for him and my other brothers so no one will fall into lust . For he has called me to himself to walk in intimacy with a beautiful strict love over me so I don’t wander far off even if I wanted too. He has shown me his face and his love in ways I cant imagine and I am utterly undone by the Jealous love my beloved has for me. He has called me to a high calling of lowliness, hiddeness, holiness and holy poverty.  He has called me lay down my life to serve all man, walk in humility instead of pride. He called me to seek HIS Divine will in every decision and area of my life. He has set me from bondage of food, lust of the flesh and worldly attachments. He has me living the hidden life where many may not understand but what only HE says and does matter. He has called me to imitate his life, by living to give everything away sowing into kingdom whiles living for eternity instead. I live for the audience of the “courts of heaven”. I have finally become a STAR…in my Heavenly Fathers eyes which is the only eyes that matters the most. This Nana was pulled out of darkness into the marvelous light of Christ and is set free and being set free….I am no longer ashamed but I AM UNASHAMED!!! THANK YOU JESUS

-From Jesus with love

When You Mess Up, Don’t Run From Him But Too Him

From Jesus With Love1 Comment

Jesus hugs man

I found myself this weekend kind of avoiding my alone time with the Lord as my heart and mind were swarming with thoughts of discouragement, frustration, weariness, discontent, and confusion. For the past couple of days I have been having difficulty in hearing from the Lord clearly and I would seek him for a rhema word  yet not really understand what he was directing me to do. I was getting words from him about “Laziness” twice in a row (eeeh I hate getting that besides sin and pride, makes me cringe) The rhema book provided scriptures on slothfulness so anytime the Holy Spirit gives me laziness it definitively not a good thing. He then also gave me rhemas about specifically being given priceless gifts from heaven and I need to use them or on that day before the Lord I will have many sorrows. So I felt the Holy Spirit telling me  I am being passive or lazy about work, ministry work to be exact. Not utilizing my gifts for the kingdom with the time he has given me. The confusion came because I am not working at this time which I strongly believe was a commission from the Lord to trust him to open the door to the place he wants me at and not just any job.  Then he gave me another rhema of “Submitting to Authority” I began to see how serious he was thinking what have I missed because I have been patiently waiting for 8 months, so getting this word twice threw me in a spat of confusion. Which of course opened the door to the enemies oppression.

James 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

I began to entertain lies from the enemy and get in my flesh. I found myself complaining and honestly being frustrated with the Lord ( I know) but, I was. It has been difficult this season being back home believing it was God’s will. Babysitting watching my nieces pretty mush the whole half of the day whiles my sister works. Then trying to squeeze ministry work in late at night even staying up way into the AM just to get things done. So as I began to resist the Lords admonishments I opened my heart to receive all the arrows of the enemy saying ” I missed God”, “whats the point”, “everything I am doing is in vain anyway” “what I am doing is not good enough”, “He was the one who told you to come here so how can he expect you to be focused in this environment”. Yes I began to entertain all these thoughts and lies, as I did I began to run to food for comfort as well in the midst of my fast, just feeling like throwing in the towel to give up already. Thoughts of overwhelming sadness, my heart hurting, disappointment grief, and condemnation came over me. So I knew I had to rush into prayer to repent, ask the Lord to clean my heart but I had been avoiding this the whole day. I knew Jesus doesn’t condemn but, I kept thinking oh how I bet he will be disappointment and I deserve this oppression and to be honest I just didn’t feel like praying .

(SIDE NOTE: SPIRITUAL WARFARE 101 Whenever in your walk with the Lord you don’t feel like praying that’s when you NEED TO PRAY all that the more!)

However, when I finally stop fighting my flesh and got into prayer so I can pour my heart out before the Lord in tears. I saw a picture impression upon my heart, of course it wasnt a mad God who had his finger pointing at me saying “how could you”, I am mad at you, or even disappointment. No, I saw Jesus with the sweetest smile just waiting and before I could say or do anything I felt him say “Come hear” and he held me ever so tightly so close to his heart as my head was under his chin. All I could do was began to cry and cry. After a few of him holding me I wanted to let go and look him in the face and he wouldn’t let me as if to say. Its okay, just rest hear don’t be so quick to do anything but just stay right here and He held me even more tightly with the greatest compassion and love. I was like Jesus I don’t deserve this, and he said your right you don’t but its my mercy and love for you, that will never change. We had the sweetest communion and of course the Holy Spirit picked the best songs about falling short, stumbling into sin and the last to not give up!

I realized in prayer that I had been walking in a posture of entitlement before the Lord which the root is all pride. That in giving my whole life to the Lord and upon walking in obedience in the midst of this suffering I deserved some things and If they were not coming I had every right to be frustrated. I couldn’t believe how nasty my heart was, wow that I felt entitled. I felt the holy spirit tell me “We don’t deserve his goodness or his judgment”. Wow, we don’t deserve neither, when the Lord saves us, transforms us and even reveals himself to us its all by his mercy. We don’t deserve any of that and when we walk in condemnation, guilt or shame and we believe or the enemy tells us we deserve consequences that’s a lie because we don’t deserve that either. Jesus took upon the cross all of these things so we can walk free freedom as a son or daughter of God without condemnation. How many Christians feel that way in their hearts sometimes and both thoughts make us run away from God rather than too him. The beautiful thing is what we are entitled too as Christians is Free grace, mercy, love, compassion, and companionship because of the sacrifice and blood of our sweet Jesus! SO RUN TO HIM NOT FROM HIM, YOU ARE FORGIVEN!

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

 

The Lord Loves To Use Broken Vessels

From Jesus With Love1 Comment

 

Broken vessels

You know so many of us yearn for the Lord to use us in mighty ways. We desire for the glory of God to be manifested and revealed in our lives so that he would be magnified. Funny thing is that exactly his desire for each and every single one of us however,  many times we feel as if we have to be perfect. That we have to clean ourselves up of our past, our struggles, and are weaknesses for him to use us. As believes sometimes we can automatically equate a mature believer with their strengthen. Unfortunately many times in  “Christianity” there a perception that you have to be a STRONG Christian, strong woman, strong man, strong wife, strong husband etc. Well, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a strong Christian or should I say it shouldn’t be put in that way. We have some have been given a greater measure of grace only to fulfill the purpose of God in their lives. Didn’t Paul tell us to boast in our weaknesses, so why as believers do we have the hardest time doing that?

2 Corinthians 12:9
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me

During my alone time with the Lord,  he gave me wonderful impression of  Three Vessels. One filled with full to the top, Second filled running over and the Third cracked and broken with water pouring out of the holes. I realize we use this imagery a lot to symbolize ourselves as believers. We should be empty so the Lord can fill us up so we can overflow and pour out to others. Which is accurate however, the Lord showed me a beautiful different perspective, his perspective and out of all three vessels the most favored was the broken and cracked one.
A Vessel Filled To The Top:

FilledVase

(side not couldn’t find a better picture lol)
This vessel has been emptied of themselves and now is filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, however there is one of two slight problems that can occur if  this vessel is not careful. They can become stagnate, compliance or even lukewarm. They have been so full with the things of God but, no outlet to pour out which can in turn make them very comfortable. Or this vessel can become so full of pride, believing they know it all, have it all, no one can tell them nothing and unfortunately they rarely are willing to pour out their wisdom on others as if it comes with a cost. So be mindful not to become a vessel full of the knowledge, wisdom and gifts of God and not pouring out to others

Second Vessel: Filled to the top overflowing
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Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, there is one slight problem that can occur if this vessel is not careful. You see in this vessel, when poured out, it empty itself to be filled up again just to be pour out. So when it becomes empty, it can become weary, tired, and even dry at times. Until they are completely filled up again which could even take awhile. Then just to pout it all out and began the cycle over. So be mindful not to become a vessel pouring out to others all the time and leaving yourself empty.

Third Vessel: “Favored Vessel”- The Broken Vessel

Broken vessels

Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, this one has many cracks, and many holes which were brought on by wounds from their past brought on from themselves or others, struggles that seem to resurface, and many, many weakness. Now don’t get me wrong the other vessels had some cracks and holes but they have been patched up so not many could see them but this one is very open, honest and transparent. The not only allow the Lord to pour out of them but to pour out of the very places of pain, of struggles, and of weakness They can never be too full, they can never be empty because they have cracks and holes therefore the Lord is continuously pouring into them and they are continuously pouring out to others. The flow never stops.

In his book The Final Quest, (side note I encourage everyone to read that book is sooo anointed!) Pastor Rick Joyner is told that in heaven we will be able to see the wounds of Jesus, and not only His wounds, but the scars that all of His chosen ones have taken for His sake. These are the medals of honor in heaven. He is told that we will carry these glorious scars forever, as Jesus does. It shows that all who carry them love God and His truth more than their own lives. He goes on to say that true leaders of God’s people, who carry genuine spiritual authority, will first prove their devotion in this way, through suffering for His name sake.

Isn’t that amazing!  When we can become willing vessels, transparent vessels about our past, our struggles, our pains, our weakness and pour out to others from that place the Lord loves it. He looks at it and says “Aaa Ha Now that is a Vessle I can use. When we are open about our weaknesses truly the Lord is magnified in every single way because those who look at us will ask themselves, How is that possible this vessel is standing, how is it possible that it can even be used but what they will see is Gods light radiating out of all our cracks and holes. Furthermore, those who we pour into will know if the Lord can use that broken, messed up, cracked vessel than he can use me too!

So what cracks and holes are you hiding that the Lord is trying to pour out of?  Don’t be afraid, don’t allow shame to keep your light hidden and your overflow stopped up. Guess what he wants to use you just as you are…..Cracks in all!