Jesus’s Farting Bride

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I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me.  As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze  about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and  the jingle  went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church  because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look  and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have [a]refused him. For[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew.  Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love

The Year of Being Tilled By The Lord..

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Image result for tilled soil

Job 5:8 
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.

I remember Jan 1, 2018 the Lord put it on my heart to call all my siblings together because he wanted to speak to us. As all 6 of my siblings responded to the request and came I was so overjoyed. The Lord in fact did speak too each one of my siblings giving them a word for our family for the 2018 year. In our amazement he gave some the exact same vision! The Lord was calling us into deeper intimacy with him as he stated to me ” Allow me to till the soil of your heart, the rain is coming”. I had no idea what that entailed for me, for us as a family. However, 2018 has indeed been a year of being, not only pruned, broken, wounded, crushed and refined by the Lord in ways I had never experienced. I never cried as much as I have until this year as tears became the rain to heal the wounds of my heart so many times. This has been the year of tilling but I cant imagine it wont be my last. I believe every  believer who desires to truly surrender to God has to go through this process. So what is the process of tillage you ask? Let me explain

So it wasnt about a few weeks ago that I decided to look up what tilling the soil really means and what it looks like. I was completely blown away at imagery and comparison to what the Lord desires to do in our hearts and I got it! Why it was so necessary for the Lord to till my heart the way he did. Below are some frequent question that are asked on Google when one is wanting to till their souls. So I wanted to provide a spiritual picture and answer to each question. Why its necessary for the Lord also till the soil of our hearts,

  • What Does Turning the Soil Mean?

Tillage or Turn the soil. That is a directive found in countless garden book and websites. If you are unsure what the phrase means or what it entails, know that you are in for some hard work. In the end, you’ll have a soil bed that is loose, better drained and well suited for plants.

  • So What Does It Mean For The Lord To Toil The Soil of Your Heart?

This too is found in scripture when David cried out “Lord create in me a pure heart” maybe you have prayed that before that is exactly what he is doing. Preparing our hearts to be pure before him. It is indeed HARD WORK many times we wont understand the phases, trials and test at but in the end the Lord is loosing up the hardness of our hearts or areas that are hardened to his spirit. You see he must be able to get our heart better suited for the “seed” that has fallen so when the rain ” Holy Spirit” comes the word is not chocked, the gifts our chocked , the anointing isn’t chocked by pride, selfishness, jealously you name it but the seed bears fruit!

  • What Tool Do You Use To Turn The Soil?

A must-have soil-care tool with a rounded edge. Handy for scooping compost, cutting into hard ground, and digging soil out of planting holes. A squared-off blade takes cutting through sod a snap.

  • What Tool Does The Lord Use To Turn The Soil of Hearts?

The Lord always will use those closest to us as tools of sanctification. You see his desire is that we would “Love until it hurts” that’s how Jesus loved. He wants our heart transformed into his dwelling place where he can love freely and abundantly on those around us. So he will use loved ones, peers, friends to hurt us, betray us, speak against us, reject us so that we may learn to love like Christ. That selfishness and self love in our hearts has to be broken up. We are taught love , honor and respect are earned and to only give these things if you get it back. But that is not how Jesus loves, “Yet while we were still sinners he died for us (Romans 5:8)”. So many times the Lord would ask me Nana, are you wiling to die to flesh for the sake of me?  Would you forgive, let go of all offenses and continue to love them? So many times the Lord allow devastating circumstances, hard situations and times of abandonment from those I thought I needed the most to break my heart….my hard soil.

  • Why Is Loosening The Soil Important?

Air pockets that are created by the deep loosening of soil facilitate air and water penetration for plants to use. Air penetration is also important to the micro-organisms in the soil that perform all kinds of important tasks creating nutrients for the plants (as noted above with cultivation).

  • Why Is Allowing The Lord to Loosen The Soil of Your Heart Important?

Daniel 5:20 “But when his heart was lifted up and his spirit became so proud that he behaved arrogantly, he was deposed from his royal throne and his glory was taken away from him’. His desire is that we wouldn’t continue in the ways of a stubborn heart that doesn’t yield to the Lord in obedience. Behaving arrogantly which in turn will cause us too lose our glory and even our salvation if we allow it. To be used by the Lord as a vessel we need to make room in our hearts for the wind of God (hearing his voice) and the rain, which is Holy Spirit to lead us. That he would take over our hearts and in him we would move and have our being  (Acts 17:28) not in our own hearts. That is so easily moved by our emotions, past experiences, defensive, quick to be guarded and rarely willing to give. Its important so when the Holy Spirits penetrates he is able to perform all kinds of task through us and we are able to cultivate the gifts of the spirit even more. When we allow the Lord to loosen the soil it gives room for him to CREATE!…PURE HEARTS

So at this point you may be asking the Lord when will the tilling stop, when will the crushing, pruning be over Lord? When will the rain come that I may see fruit?

When Can I Plant After Tilling?

You’ll need to wait at least a few weeks before planting, but waiting a few months is better. A thorough tilling once a year typically is enough to keep your garden soil healthy, so pick the time that works best for your gardening schedule.

  • When Will The Season of Tilling Be Over?

Well that one is always up too the Lord. I too kept asking Lord when and began to think as many of us do because the year is changing things will be different tomorrow. However the Lord is outside of time and I have come to find out the seasons of earth don’t run the same as the seasons of heaven. In this question, I have come to find my peace and rest in the Lord. When I stopped complaining, being anxious, wallowing in self pity of being stripped, tried and tested. I now look back and see how very good it was for me and more so how close its drawn too Jesus. I have come to know him in the most intimate way. I now understand the cross with such a love and passion recognizing he calls me to walk in the way of the cross. All the tilling is so that my heart may be healthy and even as painful as it has been its been so rewarding. I also see that soil is used ground that is used the season comes when it has too be tilled again for new seeds to bare new fruit so this wont be my last time.  “Jesus I trust you and welcome you to till the soil of my heart always that I may be ready to not only receive your rain but a dispenser for others to be refreshed and eat of the fruit you produce in me!”

Will you allow him to till the soil of your heart….the rain indeed is coming?

-From Jesus with Love

 

I Am A Little Pencil In The Hand Of God

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pencil2

This term was coined by Mother Teresa and she went on to say that  ” I am little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world” and was given to me by a friend recently. Oh, what a truthful and beautiful statement this is for us all, well that’s if we allow it to be. We are all created with a story in mind by the hand of the creator however many times we want to dictate where our lines are drawn or better yet write our own stories. Many of us want to used by God but are not willing to let go of complete control and allow him  to write HIS story through us because that’s what our lives are…..HIS story told through our tears, pain, suffering, trials, celebrations, disappointments, test & achievements to guide stories. Just as the bible is written and inspired by the Holy spirit through many different accounts of Christ disciples so will the story of our lives. It should ad on to the testimony of Jesus Christ who he is and how he uses the lowliest of vessels to bring him glory. As we allow Him to write you can trust that the lines of your life will fall in pleasant places

Psalm 16:6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

However, I got the most interesting picture the Lord gave me. That we can  be can be different type of pencils which can be a little more difficult to write HIS story with. There is the graphite pencil, the mechanical pencil and wooden pencil .

grahite-pencil

Graphite Pencil-Used to for sketches for detail and to draw deep dark lines. It is it the one that stains the paper and pigments it , being able to create a trace after it, which is well-known as line. Interesting definition of a graphite pencil in the hands of God can be a person who is deep, passionate in all that do and very detailed. They draw out their lives intentionally however “its stains the paper and pigments it” so  having no eraser  they give no room for error in themselves or others. Which causes them to be critical or judgmental of others staining them with the same idea. They strive for perfection which is impossible without the hand of God because he always rewrites our plans which never look perfect. It creates traces of wrong turns, should couldas, and achievement in the persons life which continues to have them look back then looking forward to what God is doing

mechanical-pencil

Mechanical pencil-or a propelling pencil is a pencil with a replaceable and mechanically extendable solid pigment core called a “lead” /ˈlɛd/. The lead, often made of graphite, is not bonded to the outer casing, and can be mechanically extended as its point is worn away. In the hands of God can be a person who strong within their OWN strengthen and not on the Lord. They are mechanical in thinking  and solving problems, very analytical and reason before they go any further. They may follow the culture, work faster and are quick to adapt but in the Hand of God he desire for us to submitted, patient and quick to obey HIS lead. With the lead of this pencil being able to be easily broken and even run out at times. This person can be a hard worker but since its all in their strength, they burn out easily and being mechanical when they find themselves not having control and completely broken they have no where to turn too since they were relying on themselves. It causes them to be completely out of use and out of Gods will

pencil

a Simple Wooden Pencil-Most common used Pencil. In the Hands of God it is the most simple of all pencils but the beauty of this pencil is that it can become anything, carved into different shapes but still be used to perfom the same task. This pencil can be broken and still be used, it may have dull moments when the lead cannot be seen but use a pencil sharpener then the lead is yet again available for use. Just as a person who is broken so many times can be used  by God and when they find themselves with out hope or purpose they are sharpened again by the word of God or even by their brothers/sisters around them.

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another

with the eraser they are able to have God erase their mistakes from the past, redirect their direction when they turn a wrong way and create a beautiful masterpiece out of a mess. In Gods hand all things are possible as we yield to him to break us, sharpen us, and write HIS story through us because one thing ALL pencils have in common is that they are a tool to be used, within itself a pencil is useless unless someone is using it for the purpose in which it was created for. So will you let God use you to write HIS story?

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mother-teresa
The late Mother Teresa

 

I don’t think so. I don’t claim anything of the work. It’s His work. I’m like a little pencil in His hand. That’s all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do it. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used. In human terms, the success of our work should not have happened, no? That is a sign that it’s His work, and that He is using others as instruments – all our Sisters. None of us could produce this. Yet see what He has done.- Mother Teresa

–

 

The Lord Loves To Use Broken Vessels

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Broken vessels

You know so many of us yearn for the Lord to use us in mighty ways. We desire for the glory of God to be manifested and revealed in our lives so that he would be magnified. Funny thing is that exactly his desire for each and every single one of us however,  many times we feel as if we have to be perfect. That we have to clean ourselves up of our past, our struggles, and are weaknesses for him to use us. As believes sometimes we can automatically equate a mature believer with their strengthen. Unfortunately many times in  “Christianity” there a perception that you have to be a STRONG Christian, strong woman, strong man, strong wife, strong husband etc. Well, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a strong Christian or should I say it shouldn’t be put in that way. We have some have been given a greater measure of grace only to fulfill the purpose of God in their lives. Didn’t Paul tell us to boast in our weaknesses, so why as believers do we have the hardest time doing that?

2 Corinthians 12:9
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me

During my alone time with the Lord,  he gave me wonderful impression of  Three Vessels. One filled with full to the top, Second filled running over and the Third cracked and broken with water pouring out of the holes. I realize we use this imagery a lot to symbolize ourselves as believers. We should be empty so the Lord can fill us up so we can overflow and pour out to others. Which is accurate however, the Lord showed me a beautiful different perspective, his perspective and out of all three vessels the most favored was the broken and cracked one.
A Vessel Filled To The Top:

FilledVase

(side not couldn’t find a better picture lol)
This vessel has been emptied of themselves and now is filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, however there is one of two slight problems that can occur if  this vessel is not careful. They can become stagnate, compliance or even lukewarm. They have been so full with the things of God but, no outlet to pour out which can in turn make them very comfortable. Or this vessel can become so full of pride, believing they know it all, have it all, no one can tell them nothing and unfortunately they rarely are willing to pour out their wisdom on others as if it comes with a cost. So be mindful not to become a vessel full of the knowledge, wisdom and gifts of God and not pouring out to others

Second Vessel: Filled to the top overflowing
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Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, there is one slight problem that can occur if this vessel is not careful. You see in this vessel, when poured out, it empty itself to be filled up again just to be pour out. So when it becomes empty, it can become weary, tired, and even dry at times. Until they are completely filled up again which could even take awhile. Then just to pout it all out and began the cycle over. So be mindful not to become a vessel pouring out to others all the time and leaving yourself empty.

Third Vessel: “Favored Vessel”- The Broken Vessel

Broken vessels

Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, this one has many cracks, and many holes which were brought on by wounds from their past brought on from themselves or others, struggles that seem to resurface, and many, many weakness. Now don’t get me wrong the other vessels had some cracks and holes but they have been patched up so not many could see them but this one is very open, honest and transparent. The not only allow the Lord to pour out of them but to pour out of the very places of pain, of struggles, and of weakness They can never be too full, they can never be empty because they have cracks and holes therefore the Lord is continuously pouring into them and they are continuously pouring out to others. The flow never stops.

In his book The Final Quest, (side note I encourage everyone to read that book is sooo anointed!) Pastor Rick Joyner is told that in heaven we will be able to see the wounds of Jesus, and not only His wounds, but the scars that all of His chosen ones have taken for His sake. These are the medals of honor in heaven. He is told that we will carry these glorious scars forever, as Jesus does. It shows that all who carry them love God and His truth more than their own lives. He goes on to say that true leaders of God’s people, who carry genuine spiritual authority, will first prove their devotion in this way, through suffering for His name sake.

Isn’t that amazing!  When we can become willing vessels, transparent vessels about our past, our struggles, our pains, our weakness and pour out to others from that place the Lord loves it. He looks at it and says “Aaa Ha Now that is a Vessle I can use. When we are open about our weaknesses truly the Lord is magnified in every single way because those who look at us will ask themselves, How is that possible this vessel is standing, how is it possible that it can even be used but what they will see is Gods light radiating out of all our cracks and holes. Furthermore, those who we pour into will know if the Lord can use that broken, messed up, cracked vessel than he can use me too!

So what cracks and holes are you hiding that the Lord is trying to pour out of?  Don’t be afraid, don’t allow shame to keep your light hidden and your overflow stopped up. Guess what he wants to use you just as you are…..Cracks in all!