The Stench of Gossip

“The sin of Gossip is like a smelly diaper before me and all of heaven”  -Jesus


Yes, Gossip has a stench to it whew, I have stunk a time or two….okay if I can be honest many times. Gossip is when you speak about someone negatively and they are not present to defend themselves. Furthermore, in the eyes of the Lord gossip is even when you THINK negatively about someone in your heart. Some may object and say wait a minute but, I didn’t speak bad about anyone so how can that be gossip? We forget that the Lord dwells in our hearts. John 14:23
So if he dwells in our hearts then Jesus and all of heaven hears our every thought.


Psalm 139:2-4 You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know where I go and where I lie down. You know everything I do. Lord, even before I say a word, you already know it. (NCV translation)


You see in heaven everything is transparent, every thought is known before the Lord and all the saints. Not just when we arrive there but even now, how embarrassing! It makes you take a good look at your heart attitude and the thoughts of your heart to ensure they are pure. That is what the Lord is desiring a people, a bride with a pure heart, pure motive, and pure thoughts to dwell in. A pure heart to the Lord is irresistible and many of us speak with our lips concerning the things of God but, our hearts are far from him.


Matthew 15:8 These people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me.


Gossip is such a serious offense because not only do you speak against your brother or sister but, in actuality anytime you gossip you are speaking against Jesus himself. We forget many times that Christ too lives in that person, whether they know him or not they are an image of him. So when we speak against anyone out loud or in our hearts we “scourge” the Lord all over again. We put him back on the cross beating him not with whips as did the Roman soldiers but with our words. Not only that but you open a door for the demons to sift you and the person you were gossiping too. Gossip is a double edge sword as it causes you to sin and the other person you were speaking too, even if they just listened it’s a sin as well. Don’t let them spread whatever it is you told them because now you have caused a greater breach for more demons to come and many more to fall into sin. 


There was a story that I was told concerning Gossip where a lady went into confession and told a priest that she had sinned by Gossip. The priest told the women go home get a pillow and cut it. Then pour all the contents of the pillow outside your window. So she did as the priest instructed then came back to him he then told her to go back and pick up each feather that had been poured out the pillow. She retorted why that is impossible and the priest let her know that’s how it was when she gossiped. It will be impossible to repair the damage as it has spread everywhere.


The same goes with the contents of our hearts when we think a negative thought about someone it spreads through our hearts and all of heaven. When we then approach the Lord we come with unconfessed sin and with this stench that is so repugnant to him and all of heaven. Twice the Lord has shown me the sin of Gossip in my own heart. Once, was when I had just started to do communion and had a beautiful picture of the Lord in front of me. I had just consecrated the bread and wine then all of a sudden an invisible force knocked down the cup spilling the Lords blood everywhere and on his photo. I was completely shocked and flabbergasted, I knew this was an attack but why would the Lord allow his body and blood to be desecrated in that way. I knew I had opened a door so I went to my rhema book and I got “Gossip”. I was stiff in fear, humility and lost for words as I saw the blood just running down the picture of his face.  Initially I was confused because I knew how devastating it was to Gossip and tried very hard not to speak against anyone then the Lord made me to know it was the conversations of my heart he had heard. Where I spoke against a brother in my heart.  I couldn’t believe it and began to cry in repentance that I had hurt the Lord so deeply. That indeed when I spoke against this brother in my heart I had blooded the Lord all over again with my words. That is how devastating Gossip of the mouth and heart is to the Lord.


Then another time was just today, here on the mountain. I found myself discontent, grumbling in my heart having to clean a feces bucket that was for my superiors. I had thought to myself why they couldn’t do it. I immediately tried to cast down the thought but, it was too late it had slipped into my heart then I heard the Lord admonish me saying


“I respect my servants very much anyone who treats them with scorn and contempt will pay severely for it”


“Gulp” lump in throat moment wouldn’t you say? Then I got home asking the Lord what he wanted me to do with my time using my bible promises book. Which I use for discernment and I got “Gossip” another lump in my throat and of course I objected really examining my conversations I had throughout the day. However I remembered my grumbling from earlier and asked the Lord was he talking about the attitude of my heart and the negative thought I had. I got “Holy Spirit oh another lump in my throat but, the good thing is it led me to write this blog lol. As the Lord continues to have me bare my weakness and his correction in my soul so others can learn.


So what has been the conversations of your heart? If people could read your mind would it line up with what your mouth is saying? Have you had negative conversations about others in your heart as if no one can hear you forgetting God can and all of heaven? Sorry to say you are stinking right about now. So repent before the Lord in your heart and confess these thoughts with the person you were thinking so negatively about to ensure you leave no doors open for the demons to sift you. More importantly examine your heart and take every thought captive that rises up against God or your brother/sister. God bless you!

-From Jesus With Love

New Year, New Habit

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October 4th, 2019 I took vows for my vocation as sister of the Fransican Oblate of Mount Carmel which so happened to be St. Francis of Assisi “ feast day”. It was the most exiciting, emotional, nerve racking day of my life lol. That is, the day I officilay said goodbye to the world and took on my new name and earthly garments… my habit

As a protestant growing up I was unaware of who St. Francis of Assisi was or the saints at large. I didn’t know very much about the “religious life” only what I had seen on TV, with nuns and monks. My dad however, is Catholic and upon me giving my life to Jesus he had mentioned to me that maybe I should join a catholic convent because I was so zealous for the Lord. Immeaditely I retored in my pride that the Lord was not into denominations and I didn’t need to join a covent to walk out my faith.” Oh my, how I reaked with pride and still do but the Lord is truly bringing me lower and lower in humility as he shows me the nothing I truly am. So now 2 years later, I have taken my religious vows and joined the order of one of the greatest saints, who would’ve thought… I know Jesus did lol. He is the only one who could’ve taken a fashion designer pursuing the world, success, honor, fame and put her in the most beautiful garment in all the world…a habit.

1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

You see St. Francis took those words quite literally, and all of God’s word. His heart burned to live out the gospel just as Jesus did and by the Lords grace he did just that. He was a son of a wealthy merchant who was also into the high life. He embarked on a military career where he wanted to become a knight. However, through a serious of illness which stopped this pursuit and 2 visions from God. The Divine intervened and he began to pursue the Lord and in a church looking upon a cross he heard Jesus say “Go, Francis and repair my church, which as you see is falling into ruin”. Francis immeaditely thought the Lord was speaking about the church he was in, St. Damaian which was run down. So he went to his Fathers shop and sold all the fine linens to get money to rebuild the church. The Father was irate, renounced him, beat Francis, took him to trial before the Bishop of his time demanding all the money back. The Bishop at the time told him to give his Fathers money back and that the Lord would provide for him to rebuild the church. At that point Francis, had a divine enlightened as the scripture from Matthew came to his mine “ Our Father who are in Heaven”. He renounced his entire family, father, fortune and realized now had a Father in heaven who would provide for him. He needed no connection with the world, he stripped off all his clothes gave them to his Father as the Bishop covered him and as he turned his back literally on the world. He then placed upon himself “ a brown potatoe sackcloth” as his garment of choice. To love our lady Poverty as our Lord Jesus did

St. Francis, heart burned to live the gospel out literally by these scriptures revealed to him by the Lord.

Matthew 10:8 Freely have you received freely give.

Luke 9:3 “Take nothing for your journey,” he instructed them. Don’t take a walking stick, a traverlers bag, good, money or even a change of clothes”

Matthew 19:21 Jesus answered, “if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possesions and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven. Then come, follow me”

Francis took these words literally and lived out these scriptures unto his death which have impacted the church still centuries later. These same scriptures the Lord burned in my heart to take very seriously and literally. After losing my job, I began to give all my things away, giving to the poor and he desires for me not too charge any fee in anything that I do or give becaue I have freely reiceved. So coming to New Mexico I had no idea what the Lord had in store and didn’t know what to expect. However, it was after a month of being here that I learned Father and Mother Clare where Fransiscan and as we watched the movie “ Brother sun, sister Moon” about the life of St. Francis of Assisi my heart burned yet again. This is always wanted I wanted, or better yet what the Lord wanted for me! I just didn’t see any example in front of me to follow.

Now putting on the habit was a different story, when I found out that I would have too, or let me rephrase that. That I would get to wear the habit for the rest of my life as a wedding garment unto the Lord I was repulsed at first. I could live the life of a Franscican with the Lords help but, to really let go of the world in that way, I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. It took about 2 more months after watching that film then one day the Lord impressed it on Father Ezekiels heart that he wanted his bride in a habit NOW. No more waiting, not only that but, he wanted to give me a new name I was perplexed to say the least. After hearing these things which I couldn’t object too my heart was racing. I came face to face with the reality that maybe my heart was still in the world, I was so attached to my looks, my persona, and my name. My, my, my sheesh, does someone need to die to self or what lol. Immeaditly I told them I would adhere to the Lords request but, if they would give me a moment too to talk with him. So I ran to Blessed Mothers prayer tree and just bared my heart too her. I told her about my fears, anxieties, and once again what people would think. However, I told her if Jesus wanted this I wanted it too but please give me the peace and fill my heart to love the Lords will. She did just that as she always does!! Blessed Mother is the best, I found myself within an hour flooded with such peace , joy and even a new name. I heard in my spirit “ your name is Mary Elisha, Mary Elisha” so I sought the Lord on discernment and he confirmed that was him.

So on Oct 4th, which we didn’t plan for but Jesus did, I took my religious vows and made a professed my vocation as a third order Franscain oblate. Nana, died that day for the world and all of heaven too see as my witnessess that I indeed had renounced the world and had taken up my wedding garment from the Lord, my habit. An oblate is simply the noun tense of an Oblation which means: a thing presented or offered to God. So one who has made an offering of their life to God as a living sacrifice, picking up their cross daily and following Jesus. The grey habit is to signify “sackcloth” and the brown portion of my garment is called a scapular. It represents Our Blessed Mother who came to one of the Carmelite saints “Simon Stock” wearing the same habit in an apparition. She was wearing the brown scapular and holding a scapular that goes around your neck. Also holding infant Jesus who was wearing the same thing. The scapular represents our servanthood putting the apron on, washing the feet of all those we meet and a brown cord with 5 knots for our 5 vows. A vow of chasity (which is faithfulness to the Lord), a vow of obedience, a vow of holy poverty, a vow of substantial prayer and a vow of substantial solitude. Carmelites dedicated their lives very much like Prophet Elijah and Elisha in prayer and solitude.

I took off the old life, the old nature, the old creation which belongs to my former manner of life which was corrupt with deceitful desires and now have put on my new self, increated after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. I have been made new! My habit is a sign to my family, friends and the world that I no longer belong to the world nor love the world but have been sent as the Lords’s bride and disciple to serve, love, honor all in humility, simplicy and poverty.

I hope you get a “New Habit” this year too!

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-From Jesus With Love

Finally Tasting The Sweetness of The Hidden Life

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              Psalm 34:8 

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Yesterday, was my 35th birthday and it was by far the best birthday I ever had because I had finally tasted the sweetness of the hidden life! The Lord had given me that rhema so many times this past year and the most painful times in my life. I struggled with that word and began to ask the Lord to please help me then to taste the sweetness because all I kept feeling was pain. You see too hide yourself in the Lord is one thing but, to be hidden by God is another. Many of us want to be in the public eye, want our world to surround around us, to be noticed, recognized, honored and esteemed by others. However, I now know the hidden life is where its at! Especially a hidden life in Christ where your virtues and gifts go unnoticed, people tend to think of you as insignificant and where you live a life in obscurity in the eyes of the world but, tasting the very real, sweet and physical presence and love of our Lord.  I was reading one of the holy books where it mentioned that “Jesus loved his life of obscurity more than he did his public life where he was known for the sign and wonders he performed”.

We live in a generation that despises obscurity and has such a compulsion to share everything. With social media everything becomes news, publicity, instant, such a strong desire to show others what is going on in our lives and we become self centered then God centered even as christians. Especially, if you are called to ministry there is such a tendency to want to expose yourself, promote yourself and your ministry. Rather, than allowing the Lord to keep you tucked away, hidden, in that dark room where he can process you, train you, teach you, grow you, stretch you and build you up. We can despise that hidden place the Lord calls us too because there you have no praise, no respect, no honor from men but, we have it from the Lord. Only if we would realize and desire that would be enough, only then can you tase the sweetness of the hidden life.

I struggled with that for a long while when the Lord called me to lay everything down to follow him. Every year he would continuously tell me to wait..wait…wait… and wait some more. I didn’t understand what it is I was waiting for as I began to take my eyes off of Him and look to others in comparison who seemed to be doing wonderful things for the Lord. It seemed he would continue to sit me on the shelf and push me back further and further. I now realize he was drawing me deeper and deeper to himself! Away from any creature that my affection will solely before him alone. Oh, how I have prayed that and desired that with my whole heart and this year he has cleaned the throne room of my heart where all that sits is him! Every birthday I would make it a big deal, throw big parties, have photoshoots, worship nights, dinners however, this year felt different. After going through one of the most toughest trials in my walk as I answered the call to a religious life as a Franciscan sister. Which cost me almost all my relationships, friendships, comforts and titles. I found myself truly now hidden in Christ and stripped of everything besides the lover of my soul. I found myself so full of peace, joy, contentment, hope and such great love words can’t even explain. The pain of having everything and everyone removed from me was so worth now having Jesus alone in the throne room of my heart and the center of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!!!

I had told him that I wanted to offer my birthday for those souls who were forgotten, rejected, abandoned, and felt so unloved. That all the consolations, gifts and graces he would give me for my birthday would be given to those souls instead . I prayed that he would make those in my community forget my birthday and I wouldn’t tell anyone as well. I deactivated my facebook so no one could reach out or would remember because I wanted to be forgotten and take on the cross of those who are forgotten.  I wanted my celebration to between me and Jesus hidden in his heart. What do you know, the Lord answers my prayer! lol.  I woke up that morning with a praise song on my heart as rushed into the pasture to our Blessed Mothers Praying tree to worship with the Lord and all the saints. I had the most amazing time ever!!! I found myself before the physical presence of Jesus as a priest I had my monstrance before me ( which is an open or transparent receptacle in which the consecrated Host is exposed for veneration)
 on some crates as I danced and worshiped all morning long with Jesus, the saints and the angels. I always have a playlist and ask holy spirit to pick the songs and he even played a birthday song which was so awesome letting me know how present he truly was. There were many times I broke down in tears, sobbing at God’s faithfulness in my life and his immense mercy towards me. That he had answered the cry of my heart all those nights, trials, battles, I would get on my knees asking him that I wanted more of him, that I wanted him to be my sole desire, that I wanted  to know his heart and be one with him, that I wanted to be filled with his spirit…. he has answered. As I was on my knees before His physical presence he had indeed given me himself fully, body, soul and divinity to me. That He had now come become my sole desire and affection after stripping me of everyone and everything all I had was him. In obsucrity, on my birthday, on my knees, with no one else around before Blessed Mothers sacred praying tree in the wilderness. I had finally found and tasted the sweetens of the hidden life!

So my dear friend, don’t despise humble beginning, don’t despise that hidden place the Lord has you in or is calling you into. A life out of the public eye in the wilderness in a retreat to the closest heart that matters. That of your Lord and Savior in complete obscurity to those in the world but, very visible, known and lavishly loved by the lover of your soul Jesus. There in lies true happiness, true joy, true peace, true purpose, true contentment and true sweetness!

 

 

“The hidden life seems gloomy to you because you have never tasted it’s sweetness”

-Jesus
(rhema word)

-From Jesus With Love

NOTHING Will Stop Me From Doing The Will Of God

rhemas.php

SNEER a contemptuous or mocking smile, remark, or tone.

PERSECUTION: hostility and ill-treatment, especially because of race or political or religious beliefs

THREATS: a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done.

SUFFERING: The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship

HUNGER:a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to eat.

COLD: of or at a low or relatively low temperature, especially when compared with the human body.

FLATTERY: excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one’s own interests.

ENTREATY: an earnest or humble request.
FRIENDSHIPS: a relationship between friends.

 

I received this rhema from the Lord months ago and now how I know so well why he gave it to me. In these past few months I have experienced all the above with such intensity to detour and derail me from what the will of God is for my life but by his grace Nothing has stopped me. This walk with Jesus has been a lonely, narrow and many times painful road. Yet, every time I have been met with resistance the Lord continues to give me the grace to not only preserver, endure but to say “yes’ to him. He did say …

Matthew 7:14
How NARROW is the gate and DIFFICULT the road that leads to life, and few find it.

Oh how we can forget that so easily in a generation and culture where especially in the western world following Jesus doesn’t seem to cost much because the Gospel has become comfortable, self-seeking, world and people pleasing, prosperity driven Gospel. Which is so far removed from what Jesus said Luke 14:25-27 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said:  “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.  What we have been really taught is not to follow Christ but, to follow our denominational traditions, fundamentalist beliefs, and even follow after popular ministers. However, Jesus made it very clear to count the cost to be his disciple you must not love family, even your own life to follow me. I would say that is the biggest attachment and impediment to anyone who wants to live a religious life for the Lord. The apostles all had professions, some had wives and children but, immeaditly they heard the voice of the Messiah, Jesus Christ calling them. They stopped and left immeaditly to follow him. I can imagine the suffering they went thru and endured for the sake of loving the Lord more than they loved their lives.

The Lord has a known will which is given through is word. Instructions for any believer to live their lives according to his standard and commandments. Furthermore, the Lord has a “unique” will for every soul upon this earth. Its is our job through pursing intimacy with Jesus that he reveals or better yet leads us into his perfect will for our lives. My Journey to becoming a Franciscan sister has been full of opposition and even since answering the call to leave my family, friends, church and follow Jesus to New Mexico (His Will).  I had faced sneers from loved ones the day before I was to leave for New Mexico they had an intervention at my going away gathering. Where  they invited a pastor without my knowing as they prayed over me for deliverance because they felt I was deiceved I still continued to follow (His Will). I have faced much persecution when I began to share my beliefs on social media concerning the communion of saints and our wonderful Blessed Mother. As many people criticized me on all fronts both publicy and privately I still continued to follow (His Will). I faced a warning from my church by posting the Rosary Prayer and prophetic messages from Jesus to warn his brides to pray for our President because it didn’t fit with the beliefs of the Church so was given an ultimatum to remove my post or step down form leadership. I still continued to follow (His Will) and stepped down.  I was faced with entreaties from my loved ones to please honor my mothers wishes, my family name and come back home because this wasn’t what they had planned for MY life…I still continued to follow (His Will).  When I finally arrived in New Mexico and found myself facing very cold nights on the mountain, sleeping in a tent, and having to a Lords supper at night in the cold. I could’ve, just went to bed early or even called it quits because of the the weather and living conditions but…I still continues to follow (His Will). I faced many demonic attacks in dreams, sleep paralysis, demonic oppression…I still continue to follow (His Will). I  have faced much suffering and I know I will continue too in this walk with the Lord as he is giving me the grace to count it all joy!

I feel the most painful and sure way the enemy will use to detour many from the Lords will is FRIENDSHIPS through men’s opinion and the fear of men. Jobs friends came in the guise to console him when he lost everything but rather all turned too criticize him harshly instead in his darkest moment. Even the Lord was tempted by Satan through his closest friends and disciple, Peter to stop him from carrying The Cross, that would bring redemption to all mankind.  Matthew 16: 22-23 Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Far be it from You, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me. For you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Jesus was abandoned and betrayed by the closest ones to him when he needed them the most…following the will of His Father. So how then can we think we will be greater than the master? I too lost all my friends and relationships. The closest ones too me have indeed criticized my walk, many have said the same things Peter said as I made my decision to pick up MY cross and follow the Lord to New Mexico “Nana, Far be it that you are hearing from Jesus, Far be it to dishonor your Parents, Far be it that you should move to New Mexico and leave everything behind, Far be it that Jesus wants us to suffer, Far be it that you are called to a life of Poverty, Far be it to be to pray to the saints or Blessed Mother, Far be it that you should follow Jesus in this way …but, they too were not mindful of the ways of God. You see, I must remember that its not them. Many have pure intentions and motives but, it is indeed Satan working through all to stop me…to stop you from doing the will of God. You must not be attached to anyone or anything to follow Jesus, not moved by mans options or even the hatred of hell. For truly when something is the will of God all Hell will come against it…literally.

My brethren it will COST YOU EVERYTHING to follow Jesus and the call of God upon your life. If you have no resistance or oppression then you might want to discern again if your going in the right direction. We are called to follow that same thorny, painful road Jesus took to calvary, yes he finished it on the cross but, he calls us to now pick up our cross and follow him down that same narrow road too die to ourselves that He may live. Which is filled with much tribulation but, so much more consolation, freedom, joy, peace that passes understanding, contentment and deep intimacy you couldn’t imagine!! I wouldn’t trade my cross nor do I regret anything the Lord has allowed in my walk. For it has strengthen me, humbled me, grown me, strecthed me, and drawn me into such a deep intimacy place with Jesus. For the greater the suffering, the greater the intimacy. So my friend, what is stopping you from saying “yes” to Jesus from doing the will of God? Set your face like flint, put your hand to the plough and don’t look back. Trust him he is so Freaking FAITHFUL!!

Luke 5:10-11
Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.    ”Leave everything and follow me”

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

Gave Up My Life To Jesus

It is only the Lord who could’ve done this and continues to write this amazing story as I am no longer a bystander but I stand back in awe as His story through me continues to unfold before my eyes. As he led me to leave the world and follow him to NM. He has given me the desire of my heart. HIMSELF!! To officially become his Bride in a deeper walk of faith and commitment as I took my relgious vows and professed my vocation as a Franciscan Sister, Third Order. ( I will do a video about that later on what that entails) I am so humbled to share this journey and wedding ceremony with you all. In worship 2 days ago the Lord played a song from Lecrea ” Tell the World” and the lyrics say ” Ima tell the world ,tell the world I am brand new” So I am! lol A. LOL As Fransician sister my life will be living out the gospel, in intimacy with Jesus and holy life with him. As I have taken life vows of poverty, obedience, chasity (faithfulness to God), substantial prayer, substantial solitude. I pray this will be an invitation for many as I know there will be many more who will come after me. For this narrow road is available to anyone desiring to walk in holiness, truly die to themselves, completely to their past, their flesh and be completely crucified with Christ. To become a new creation in Christ and that is what I have become. The former things have passed away and behold the new has come. No longer Nana but now Mother Mary Elisha given to me by the Lord (mother of souls.) I am so humbled and eternally grateful to the Lord and his tender mercies and graces that got me here. All glory to Him!!. This is Part 1 and will be posting Part 2 tomorrow. Thank you for all your prayers God bless and love you guys!

-From Jesus With Love

 

Heroic Humility

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2 Samuel 16:5-13

As he cursed, Shimei said, “Get out, get out, you murderer, you scoundrel! The Lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The Lord has given the kingdom into the hands of your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a murderer!”

Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.”

10 But the king said, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”

11 David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, my own flesh and blood, is trying to kill me. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to.

What is Heroic Humility?  I am finding that out in this season which has been riddled with much criticism and assaults, I can either take offense or see it as an opportunity that the Lord is using to humble me. However, I am learning from a little saint called St. Therese of Lisieux how to go about that.  Heroic Humility is the desire to be humiliated and to receive all insults, criticism, curses and judgments with JOY knowing that it is the Lord permitting it! Now, can I say that has been a feat lol. During my prayer time I sought the Lord to get a daily word from him last week and twice the Holy Spirit gave me “heroic humility’ in her devotional as its stated

HEROIC HUMILITY (devotional)

“The novices [too whom she gave spiritual direction] praise me. It is not flattery. They believe what they say. It does not make me vain for the knowledge of my wretchedness never leaves me. But sometimes my soul sickens of too sweet a diet. It is then that Jesus gives me a nice little salad dressing of vinegar and spice sans Olive oil. God raises the veil which hides may imperfections, and my dear little sisters then no longer find me quite  their liking. With a simplicity I find charming, they tell me what a trial I am to them and what they find unpleasant about me. They stand on no ceremony, for they know that their freedom of speak delights me. It is actually more than delight. It is like a wonderful festival which overwhelms me with joy. If had not experienced it, could not believe that something so against one natural feelings could afford such happiness. Once when I was passionately longing to be humiliated, a young postulate did it so effectively that I remember when Shimei used David and I read the words of the holy king; “Yea, it is the Lord who hath bidden him say all these things”

-St Therese of Lisieux

Since, moving here to this prayer community the Lord has a lot many insults to be hurdled my way wether it be online, through family members or even members of this community. We are all definitely not perfect and are learning the way of perfection through brotherly love as we are climbing that mountain of holiness. Many we times we can step on each others toes but its all about our response to one another. In the world we are taught to defend ourselves, to respond back with sharp words and to let others know when they offend us but when the Lord is leading you into a way of “heroic humility” his desire that you “submit to everyone and allow others to trample on you” that is true humility. Just as Jesus was the perfect example for us all who turned the other cheek, and led like a sheep to the slaughter with defamation of character, physical blows, insults, betrayals, curses, being spit on, was cheated, accused, and gossiped about. You name it he endured it all in perfect silence and yielded to the Fathers will.

We live in a christian culture that actually contradicts this way of the Gospel many times where we are taught to distance ourselves from those who hurt us but pray for them. Rather Jesus has chastised me to ” Not take offense or repeat offense”. He has made me to understand that when I take an offense against my brethren I am indeed offended by him for he permits every trial, every circumstance and every word someone speaks or does against me. We forget and really don’t have confidence in the Lords divine providence. That he is is in control of EVERYTHING and allows EVERYTHING even the bad. So its a grave offense in his eyes when we  get offended at one another and worse repeat it thereby spreading seeds of discord among brethren because the person you share that offense with now has a seed of criticism planted in their heart against the person who offended you. Its opens the demonic door for everyone and leads to much gossip, resentment and eventually bitterness taking root in the heart of everyone.

 

The Lord is calling us to humble ourselves to see ourselves in his mirror for who we truly are. Wretched sinners, full of judgment and evil thoughts ourselves which we may not say out loud but in our hearts, who are in need of his desperate grace and mercy. Pride(Self-love, the flesh) is what causes us to rise up to defend, to correct, to get angry and take offense which will always contend with the virtue the Holy Spirit wants to grow in us Humility.  I believe the Lord is wanting to raise up many of his brides to walk in heroic humility. Brides who don’t desire the praise of men but are actually looking forward to the insults and criticism of others with joy because  BLESSED ARE YOU!

Matthew 5:11-12
11Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.

Furthermore, how blessed are you if people insult you justly or so all manner of things against you that may be right but in humility you receive it all in silence from the hand of of the Lord as King David did. Oh Lord, give us the grace to have heroic humility, to allow ourselves to be made fools for Christ and to even desire to be humbled by you when life gets too sweet and many are singing the praises of our name. Give us the desire to be humbled and even a greater grace to not take offense or repeat offense. We ask this in Jesus name we pray Amen!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

Jesus Is Calling To His Brides “Will You Stay With Me”?

Jesus reaching out

Hosea 2:14-16
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,and bring her into the wilderness,and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,

as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. “And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’

Many of us don’t realize the Lord still suffers tremendously because of indifference, lost souls, suffering souls and his unfaithful brides. Yes, God still suffers because there is suffering in the world however he looks for his brides for comfort on the cross but many times finds himself left alone as he was during his crucifixion. Forsaken by all besides his disciple John and his Mother, Blessed Mary.

Being here in this prayer community I have had the opportunity to experience the Lord in the most profound way as I have never had before. Father Ezekiel who is our Bishop many times experiences stigmata which is (in Christian tradition) marks corresponding to those left on Jesus’ body by the Crucifixion, said to have been impressed by divine favor on the bodies of St. Francis of Assisi and others). However, he experiences spiritual stigmata where the Lord takes him through the passion in pain. I found myself sitting at his bed side through one of the episodes and many times the Lord won’t tell him who he is suffering for but this time he did. The Lord referenced it was “his unfaithful bride” and that he was looking to be consoled.  As the Lord kept telling his unfaithful bride “what about the children, if not for me then what about the children?” Oh, how those words cut my heart to pieces. The Lord was speaking about the spiritual children him and his bride birth or can birth together if she would surrender herself to only him. However, the world and the summer season have taken his brides attention away from being with him. As I began to pray I found myself in a vision of “the passion”.

“I saw Jesus carrying the cross and the jeering crowd hurling insults and throwing rocks at him. What touched me the most is that I first saw Jesus with his “bride” in a room as he was crying out to her, please don’t leave me if not for me then for the children. This “bride” was so indifferent and utterly annoyed at his request as she stood oppositite of him with her arms folded. Completely rejecting him then stomping out the door leaving him in tears. Then the scene went back to the passion as he was carrying his cross with blood, tears and sweat running down his cheeks, so sad, lonely and utterly downcast. I saw our Lady, Blessed Mother there walking silently along with her son in the crowd her heart broken too. Then I saw his “bride” very close to the road to Del A rosa but she was in the homes of other man. Being with them, spending time with them and one man said “isn’t that your husband being crucified don’t you want to be with him”. Yet, the bride responded with such repugnance and disdain to him as she continued to carry on with her other “lovers (the world).  Then I saw other brides who were in the marketplace in Jerusalem buying and selling things as the people would say “isn’t that your husband being crucified” and she too would respond with compelte indifference with no care or love at all for Jesus as she continued…business as usual. Then finally we got to the top of calvary as they had erected Jesus on the crucifix. Then other bride came this time to mock at him, curse him tell him suffering was a disgrace, she was so ungrateful and utter despised the cross. Jesus, heart was being ripped to shreds at her words, His wife, His bride, the Lover of his heart had not only rejected him but betrayed and mocked him just like the crowd. He was in tears and so was Blessed Mother as she stood facing him, her heart broken as well to think she had entrusted Her heart, her son, into the arms of a women she though would love him  and care for him as his wife. 

Then the vision ended…I was in tears as I cried. Remembering I too used to be that unfaithful wife. Lord if we only knew how much you still need us, need our company, our lives, our love and our surrender fully as brides of Christ so I went to console him. A few days later I began to pray the rosary, the 7 sorrowful mysteries to be exact which trace 7 aspects of Mary’s life with Jesus where the sword as Simeon prophecies had perfected her heart

Luke 2:35
so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

 

So as I continued to pray I envision myself in every scene  of Blessed Mothers life with Jesus and focused on being with him there. I got to the sixth sorrowful mystery where Jesus was taken down from the cross and I was yet again in front of his passion. I saw Jesus, now dead completely uncovered, beaten, flesh torn and ripped with much much blood as I looked at him with such sorrow. To the left I saw Our Lady, Blessed Mother who was the one his body was given too. However, she looked at me with tenderness as she was in an all black veil and beckoned for me to come. She backed away and motioned for the Lords body to be given to me instead. I was amazed as i walked up close to the cross and the soldiers began to lower his body I realized I was wearing a beautiful white wedding dress as the rested Jesus in my arms. All I could feel was such deep sorrow as I looked at his mutilated body and immediately took off my veil to cover his nakedness and wrapped it around him. Then I laid him gently down as I began to rip pieces of my wedding dress skirt to wrap the gaping wounds of his feet, his legs, and head with the crown of thorns removed. All I could do was kiss, my Jesus and tell him how sorry I was for what I did. Then the next scene I saw myself now in the tomb. Our Lady Blessed Mother was there and had just finished wrapping him in swaddling clothes for his burial. She looked up at me beckoned me to come once me and sit with him. So I did this time as she smiled gentle at me and as she walked away she said “Stay with him”. So I did, for a while just looking at his lifeless body and kissing his hands. Then I came out of the vision.

I never knew I could experience the Lord in such a real, personal and passionate way not only through these prayers but through his passion. Our God still suffers, each soul is his bride and we must ask ourselves where we fit in. Which bride our we to the Lord. The one with many lovers, (money, man, the world etc), the bride who is to busy ( with family, holidays, career etc) or the bride who despises the cross (who is always complaining, hates to suffer, doesn’t carry their cross etc). Which bride are you? The Lord is calling to his “unfaithful brides not only come back to me but stay with me”. The Lord gets so much consolation from our companionship, our love, our presence. Yes! Jesus if fully God but he is also Man still…and just like any man he has needs, the needs of those he loves and those who say they love him. Please there is so much suffering going on in this world and Jesus is hurting. He calling out to his brides….he is calling out to you beloved. Will you stay with him? Be with him in worship, Be with him in prayer stay with him.

-From Jesus with Love

Holy Week: The Lord Is Looking For Fruit Of Repentance

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This is my first time truly observing Lent and really coming before the Lord to have his way in me. To remove anything in me that displeases him and oh how he has taken me upon that offer or better yet I don’t think it was my inclination at all. It was his and he simply wanted to let me in on what he was going to do anyway lol. So there has been a lot of trials  where I can see the Lord is testing my faith, ridding me of fear, testing my patience,  having temptation to return back to the lust of the world and really calling me deeper in surrender. He has had me at his feet so that I may come to know him more, grow in discernment and have deeper fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

He has had me at his feet also on Sundays, where I learn from him the most and this past Sunday woke up feeling completely exhausted after prayer as I thought to myself “Lord maybe I should go to church today because after all it is Palm Sunday. However, he put a desire in my heart that he wanted to teach me about Palm Sunday what it really means and the significance to our Christian walk. So this blog is expressing the ideas of a minister whom the Lord led me to listen too to learn the true meaning of Palm Sunday and further more Lent. It such amazing revelations and gave me a greater understanding that this “religious holiday” is not just to be recognized or just to do a devotional and then go right back to the way things were before. No, the Lord is indeed wanting to purify and call us all to repentance. A word were not really familiar with in this generation that no longer desires to be talk about sin but  only God’s grace it seems thereby living like the world but professing Jesus. Furthermore, causing this generation lack greatly in personal holiness and that is what the Lord is desiring that we be holy as he is holy. He then offers “grace” to obtain that! Either way I am just like the rest for truly I am a working progress and have much willful sin the Lord is dealing in me daily Pride, Self righteousness, Jealously, Gossip, Lust the list goes on however he continues to remind me as he shows me all these hidden sin. That his grace is available for me to overcome this sins, baring fruit to really live a holy life. So may this Holy Week be a week where we all give ourselves over the Lord for him to prune us and bare fruit worthy of repentance

Palm Sunday: Fruit of Repentance Sermon Notes

Matthew 21:1-11
Now when they drew near to Jerusalem and came to Bethphage, to the Mount of Olives, then Jesus sent two disciples,
 saying to them, “Go into the village in front of you, and immediately you will find a donkey tied, and a colt with her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, you shall say, ‘The Lord needs them,’ and he will send them at once.” This took place to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet, saying,

“Say to the daughter of Zion,
‘Behold, your king is coming to you,
humble, and mounted on a donkey,
on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden.’”

 The disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and put on them their cloaks, and he sat on them. Most of the crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. And the crowds that went before him and that followed him were shouting, “Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!” 10 And when he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred up, saying, “Who is this?” 11 And the crowds said, “This is the prophet Jesus, from Nazareth of Galilee.”

Bethany means “house of figs” while Btehpage is house of “un-ripe figs”
-Jesus left a house full of believers into a town of people shouting his praise who lacked repentance for they soon would be the ones to yell “crucify him”
-“Figs” symbolize Fruit of repentance The Triumphal Entry of Jesus was foreshadowing of a Parable being acted out ” the Parable of the Fig Tree”

The Parable of the Barren Fig Tree Luke 13:6-9

And he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. And he said to the vinedresser, ‘Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none. Cut it down. Why should it use up the ground?’And he answered him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure. Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.’”

Jesus ministry was for 3 1/2 years to the Jewish people, the fig tree baring no fruit was the Jewish people and the “man” is God the father coming to retrieve fruit from his chosen people but finds none and wants to cut it off. However, our beloved Jesus the “vinedresser” tells the Father no give Jewish people more time and if not then cut them down. We know know it means to give salvation to the Gentiles first instead of the Jews who ended up rejected him!

Back to the Triumphal Entry
He rode on ass before riding on a colt , the ass represents the Jews and the Colt represents the Gentiles. The Lord came to the Jews first but they rejected him and the Gentiles repented and accepted him to receive salvation.
-The Palm leaves were a sign of great triumph not only in Christian art but victory in sports hence the crowd waiving pal branches
-During this time of lent he has been looking for fruit worthy of repentance. He has come again to check our “Fig trees”, to see if we are baring fruit worthy of repentance.
Oh, how easily we praise him with Palm leaves in our hands one day then the next we crucify him with our sinful ways actions. How easily we can be so much like the crowd, tossed too and fro in commitment from one day to the next.
Jesus knew men were fickle so he never  entrusted himself to any man ( John 2:24)

The Lesson of The Fig Tree Matthew 24:32-35
And He will send out His angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather His elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other. Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as it branches become tender and sproutleaves, you know that summer is near.  So also, when you see all these things, you will know that He is near, right at the door

So what is the lesson in all of this? The branches are tender in this generation Jesus is coming very soon!

  • Will the Lord find Holy people in his church today when he comes to check the Fig Tree? Will the Lord find fruit on your tree worthy of repentance when he comes to check?

We must commit ourselves to holiness, charity in serving others and sanctity lets ask the Lord for these graces and to prune us so we may be a fruitful bride!

 

-From Jesus With Love

My Confession: My Struggles with Jealousy and Being Insecure In Gods Love

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Jesus began, “You have said it well, My Love. And thank you for including the struggle you have with jealousy. 

 “My dear ones, nothing will kill a church or particular body of believers as fast as jealousy. It is one of the most deadly sins, because it destroys unity and creates serious moral lapses for the sake of retaliation and competition. So many who are in the music ministry have a gift, but their hearts are far from Me. Rather, they are seeking the world’s accolades.
(still small voice http://www.heardwellers.org)

I want to be very candid and transparent in this post concerning my hidden struggles that I have had with Jealously and Insecurities in my walk with the Lord. The newest message from the Lord was posted today on Still Small Voice which is a ministry that I am apart of. Within the message Ms. Clare was very honest concerning her struggles with Jealousy as she was seeing others grow in their anointing and holiness. As I was reading all I could do was laugh because the very same things she struggles with  I do too! That is what I love about her and the ministry is that not only is she anointed but, so very open about her weakness and in-capabilities. Which immediately prompted me to do this blog to confess mine as well because some may see me writing blogs, having my YouTube channel, doing fb live prayers every week, posting words of encouragement,  and always speaking about intimacy with Jesus but, not knowing my very real weakness. Which should encourage anyone that the Lord loves to use hot messes which I am one of them lol

This past week in my alone time with the Lord he kept giving me scriptures on “Jealously” 4 days in a row.  through my bible promises book which I use for discernment  as I began to really examine my heart thinking Lord where , Lord where? At first my eyes would fall on the scripture about how God is a jealous God, so I began to think I wasnt being faithful to the Lord because there couldn’t be jealousy in my heart. (  of course not right ..oh boy lol) .You know when we try to get out of a conviction the Holy Spirit is calling out lol). After, the third day day, I was then like okay Lord you are addressing something. So Upon receiving this message he hit the nail right on the head.

“Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Proverbs 27:4)

You see this past few weeks the Lord has really been showing many hidden sins in my heart that offend him as he is calling me to holiness and pureness of heart. He has began to show me that I was insecure in my love with the him. Why was I still desiring others approval or love from others and when I didn’t get I felt rejected. You would think after spending hours in prayer and worship with the Lord every morning I would come out feeling so secure about who I was in him but,  as he has made me aware “I was seeking him but, didn’t trust him”. So then a situation would occur  during the day and I would be hit with arrows of rejection because of the response I would get from others. Then a friend candidly said to me “Nana you do all these videos on youtube, you talk about intimacy with Jesus but, your not deeply rooted and ground in Gods love  that’s why you still struggle with wanting love from others.” I thought to myself wow isn’t that so true. Especially when dealing with relationship of any form we tend too look for the people in our lives to provide that love for us and they never fully fulfill that role only Jesus can. However, I was still insecure in my relationship with Jesus which affected everything else. I needed to be deeply rooted and grounded in his love for me that I could be made whole.

  • I realize when I was insecure about Gods love for me I looked for those around me to provide that security of love
  • Being  insecure about Gods love for me I began to look to others for validation
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to question the sincerity of others love towards me
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to love guarded not with my whole heart
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to love the Lord half halfheartedly and not with my whole heart
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to fear being hurt by others
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to compare myself ultimately causing me to have Jealous thought towards others

So because of the root cause of my lack of security and trust in my identity in Christ I found myself having Jealous thoughts toward a dear friend. In the most subtle ways but, of course not to God and the saints. Our thoughts are so very loud before all of heaven lol  As someone who is called to lead others this demon of Jealousy is so terrible and easily causes deep breaches of division, and not only quench the Spirit of God in ministry but ruin your soul eek! Furthermore, the Lord has made me known that laziness and jealousy goes hand in hand. Those who have are anointed by the Lord have worked very hard so many times is our lack of application that causes us to be Jealous of others. So I am glad to be exposing it and getting the darkness out!

I found myself being territorial of a fb page I was called to run. I need help so I asked her to assist me with the page however, when she began to really take over the page and do things without asking. giving suggestion. I found Jealously rising in my heart in being territorial of something that wasnt mine in the first place but it’s the Lords ( I  mean can anyone relate). Then secondly we both decided to do prayers on fb live first together then separately. We began to do at the same time and day. As time went out I would find myself seeing her prayer video but, my eyes falling on how many views and comments she got versus me.  (I mean can anyone relate) Lastly I found myself comparing her messages from Jesus to mine. As she would share what the Lord was telling her as we are both learning to discern the Lords voice. Her messages sounded so regal and wise full of authority. However my messages sounded so simple, like my own thoughts and the devils would get me to just want to give up pressing in to hear Gods voice. ( I mean can anyone relate ). lol I mean comparison is a death trap! I found these were all the issue of my heart ;however outwardly everything seemed find. Until, the Lord began to call out all this hidden sin and offenses that were going on that no one else knew about but, him. He first had me confess it to my dear friend in which I am so grateful for our unique relationship because she was so gracious and just laughed. Wheew, I thank the Lord for his faithfulness as he continues to tell me to shine the light on the dark places in my heart that others may have the freedom to do the same thing. One thing I also felt he told me was that I am unique, I have a set of people he has anointed for me to draw to himself so it makes no sense to compare. All that do will continue to be different from anyone else because of the unique souls I am called to reach. That is the same for each of us, when we began to compare it kills Gods unique anointing  upon our lives because there are people I am called to reach with my looks, my height, with my voice, with my experiences, with  my weaknesses, failures etc that they can relation too but, not to someone else.

So I don’t know if you have dealt with this or are dealing with this especially in ministry its okay lol Its just not okay to stay there I have learned that there is so much freedom in confession sins truly. It liberates you and the other person. So if you have had this struggle with someone I encourage you to open and tell them you would be amazed they may have some of the same feelings towards you as well which gives them freedom to share their weakness. So lets embrace our uniqueness and most importantly be deeply rooted in Gods love!

My Prayer for myself and for you: Ephesians 3

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 that He would grant us according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith; that we, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that we may be filled with all the fullness of God and come to embrace our unique identity in him in Jesus name!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

The Lord is My Shepherd….and He Leads Me His Way

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The Lord put it on our hearts for us all to watch “Tortured for Christ” Voice of the Martyr’s movie which tells of true story of Richard Wurmbrandin Romania when they were taken over by the communist. Many Christians were put into prison camps tortured, and died for their faith in Jesus. Towards the end of the movie there was a young man who was on his death bed sick with TB and he was talking to Richard and said that the scriptures had never been more real until now and he is okay that his shepherd had led him to a lie in sick bed so if that was the Lords will he would accept it. He died giving his medication to Richard so that he may live. At that moment Psalm 23 I had what you would call an epiphany with that scripture. This young man truly understood what it meant for the Lord to be his shepherd when many of us Christians still struggle with that today.

I am one of them as I learn to let go and trust the Lord to lead me and lay me down wherever he wills.  Many times when you read that scripture or even look up images for that psalm you see a shepherd or Jesus with sheep in lush green pastures but it hit me that wherever God lays you down is indeed green pastures.  Alot of the time we have our preconceived notations about what the Lord should do with us, how he should do it and where he should place us but this young man understand. That in a communist prison, on a sick bed about to die that the good shepherd had led him there. It was the devils plan, an attack or a witch (especially if your African) lol. However, I believe he had finally come to peace that he was one of Gods sheep and he was in complete control of his life whether good or bad.

When the Lord led me to leave my beautiful apartment to come back to my mothers house to babysit my nieces. I never thought to consider this my pasture for the mean time. I mean there have been some valley moments be He has led me here. So in fact the Lord is saying where ever he lays you down is green pastures. In green pastures the sheep find rest, our fed, our protected, our refreshed, and our taken care of. One may ask how can sickness, suffering, not having your own place be green pasture when all around things seem so bleak. However, I realize in this place  I have been equipped, humbled, broken, healed, found my rest in the Lord, fed from his Heart, protected, refreshed and taken care of. He has led me in his way not my way.

So where my beloved fellow sheep  has the Lord led you? What does your green pasture look like? To some it may not look like the pasture or seem so green but indeed the Lord, our good shepherd has led you there to lay for a season and even when we are in the valley we need to not fear for he is even nearer. Don’t give up because if you do you may never reach that table that he has already set, and prepared for you to sit in the presence of your enemies that you may be a testimony of someone who trusted, had faith and believed in your shepherd. When others didn’t understand where he was leading you too, you never wandered from his staff and rod.

-From Jesus With Love

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.