A Mothers Love

I was born Helena Crystal Duncan on July 4th, 1983, Independence Day. Independent I was.

Most of you may know me as Ruth or Ruthie. This is my testimony, the dreaded testimony. So many fears and insecurities have prolonged this testimony for quite a while now.

Under the close, close guides and guidance and nagging, I mean persevering wisdom of my dear, sweet mother, Elisha. Here it is, Ruthie’s testimony.

A Mother’s Love:

My memories of my life are scattered, but there are certain things and situations and people you never forget. My earliest and only memories of my mother are unfortunately not the best. My mother was a very broken woman that found solace in the comforts of undependable men and alcohol. I don’t know much about my mother or her trials and struggles that led her to become the shell of the woman that I painfully remember. I believe the Lord uses even our traumas to mold us into his liking and to draw us close to him. At a very young age, I was keenly aware that I was not alone, though I felt alone often.

I’ve always known Jesus was real, and no one had to teach me. My mother’s violent, random outbursts were the beginning of my total dependency on Jesus. When the person or persons that the Lord put over you as your guardian, your earthly mother and ather, the ones who are supposed to love you and protect you – what do you do when they turn on you? What do you do when you feel hated by the one who birthed you? I cried out to the Lord. Where else could I have turned?

When she beat me and my brothers and sisters with a metal crowbar, I cried to Jesus. When she stripped all of our clothes off to our complete nakedness and stood us outside in the snow on Christmas Day, I cried to Jesus. When I was hit in the head with a high-heeled shoe and saw my blood splattered on the ceilings of the room, I cried to Jesus. When she passed away while we were taking an afternoon nap, I cried to Jesus.

My life seemingly got worse each season after my mom passed. To my surprise as well, I thought: what a relief it would be not to live in fear another day. I loved my mother, but it was a love formed from fear and survival. It was not a mother’s love.

~ Sister Ruth.

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From Jesus With Love

My Name Is Mary Elisha I started this blog 6 years ago on my journey walking with Jesus and never knew all that he had in store for me. It has been a journey of tears, trust and confidence in him. Knowing that He is my loving spouse and he wouldn't lead me astray however he has given many suprises along the way! lol Upon fully surrendering my life to Jesus, he has completely turn my world right side up. Filled me with his spirit and showed himself in supernatural ways. He has completely left me in awe leaving me with the thought.....(as most Holy Spirit filled followers of Christ also say) why didn't I surrender 15 years ago! lol. When I started this blog I was a 30 years old zealous for the Lord and desiring to make his love known because it tranformed my life. However, I didn't know the way and the road in which he would take me. It is the way of the cross, the way of holiness and the way of love. Living a life seperated from the world and compltely concecrated to him. I no longer belong to myself, but to him as he has led me to a life of hiddeness and deep intimacy I didn't know was so avalialble for all who would make their lives, their hearts his home. He has given me a new name, a renewed purpose and a heavenly family who is so very present and so real to me. Saints who cheer me on, give me council and pray for me everyday to ensure I do the Lords will and the greatest gift of all He has led me to his Mother! Who has always been My Mother just never knew it. I love Mother Mary, she is my heart, my friend and confidant and continues to prepare me to a worthy bride to her son, Jesus. It is she, who has handpicked me for this mission and to run the community "City of God: Sacred Heart Refuge" in Ghana, West Africa. This is her mission and her ministry as a gift to Jesus and I just get to be her handmaiden. Heartdwellers Ghana is an extention of Heartdwellers ministry by Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel from Still Small Voice Channel. Jesus has taught us about divine intimacy with him. As we dwell in his heart, He and the Father come to make their home within us. (John Where Jesus is all of heaven is as well because the kingom of God is within. So here may you come to get fresh manna from Jesus and any ther saints who may want to give us council, encouragment and exhortation that we may finish this race of faith and run to win the prize. To be a bride spotless, blameless adorened with purity, carying the fire of charity and zeal for our fathers glory. That we maybe ready for him when He comes back for us. Our Lord, Jesus Christ is amazing the intimate you become with him the more in awe he leaves you. I hope this blog draws you nearer to our Lord and you began to open the ears and the eyes of your heart to all that he has to say to you and show you. All of these messages are from Jesus with love...to you. May you be blessed by his words of life. God bless you!

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