Hello brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers family.
There has been still this malaise feeling over us here and it feels were going through the motions. In the morning, one of the sisters came to see me, and she shared how she was really struggling with condemnation. The Lord spoke to her that morning that she was struggling with this her whole life and He wanted to deliver her from it.
Because of it, she had been unable to receive anything good from Him or even compliments from others. She was so prone to being critical of herself and now was causing great anxiety about the future ahead of her in the new season she is coming into. We talked and encouraged one another. I was still having that disconnected feeling from Jesus and hadn’t heard from Him in almost a week, although I know it is a cross. But when he played a song about returning back to your first love, I began to feel really bad and guilt-ridden as well.
Then, I had also seen so many 555’s –which I mentioned, it means grace for suffering when Jesus shows me that, because 5 is the number of grace. Jesus always shows me that to give me a heads-up when trials are coming, to encourage me that His grace will be sufficient. But rather, it causes great anxiety at times. To make matters worse, I had seen more in two days than since I’ve been here in Ghana and began to have great anxiety as to what trial is up ahead.
“Hang in there, you’re carrying various crosses My beloved little one. Much strength and refreshment can be found in praise and worship before Me. You and this soul should do that this evening, it would please Me very much and refresh you both very much; both of you are in need of that. The enemy is trying to damper all that is good and bring heaviness discouragement and confusion. You both must cling close to Me. You have lost your way a bit, both of you, concerning the affections of your heart. Treat me as your first love. Relish time with Me above everything else and all creatures, even your beloveds’ that I have given to both of you. Keep that intimate union with Me strong. How? By making our time a priority first.
I chimed in: Well.. I do put You first thing in the morning? Lord, I’m just confused
And He responded,
“But is your heart fully here with Me? He said.
And I pondered on that, and as an aside – I honestly was confused because I make it a point to press into prayer daily despite my responsibilities, but it has also been hard trying to balance my affections towards Jesus and my affections towards my husband. I had asked Mother Clare about this once and she said she went through the same thing that it would take time and it would work itself out.
So I thought putting Jesus first in my prayer time would be good enough but I began to realize my heart wasn’t drawn in to prayer like it used to but rather I found excitement in other things. So my heart affection was changing.
No Lord, You’re right. I try everything it’s still so dry so my mind easily tends to wander or my flesh find enjoyment in doing others things that rather entertain my senses.. forgive me Lord.
Sometimes it’s also hard to balance the two – to love a soul, but not too much as to put them first and not so little that they feel neglected because of prayer. I know the latter can turn into self-righteousness and I have been there before, so please help me Lord.
I will beloved little one and that is why I am here. You are under tremendous opposition. It’s not so external but rather spiritual. Just keep steady at what you know to do. I am leading you both, you are in my will concerning the farming and starting with the land I have given you for the City of God community. You have a wise husband, continue to trust his leadership and discernment, I am moving through him to fulfill My will.
“Begin praying daily for the locals of that town and the land. At first things will be fine, but the enemy will try to incite many to bring frustration to our plans. Pray for them now, that every assignment would be thwarted and stopped and that peace would reign. And every accusation, lie and gossip formulating about this work would be utterly cast down and condemned.
“It would be good for you to learn about farming. I am a fan of starting out with pears and peppers. I will bless this initiative and you both will learn much about My ways as you began to farm. You will learn about the cycle of life, of creating, of pruning, of diligence and of faith. There will be lessons packed for you both each day with this. Trust the direction I am taking and leading you two. There are many dynamics that surround you beloved.
“Do not get overwhelmed, talk with Me about every little thing and I will lead you. Just one step at a time. Do what you know to do today and the rest that is left, finish tomorrow. Take a deep breath, (I could feel anxiety trying to creep up again and I knew Jesus could sense it..) I am giving you My clear mind now to tackle each challenge and to delegate; all will be well.
Lord, with the prayer clinic – is that something that is in the future?
I had mentioned I got a Rhema card about the Prayer Clinic which was a vision Jesus gave me long ago about a really neat place of worship and prayer. A place for the spiritually sick and discerning, but the antidote would be prayer for all who come in. It would be run like a clinic. I used my Bible Promises and I got scriptures on ‘Patience’. I was surprised, because I didn’t see how this could fit into anything at all right now.
“Yes beloved wait on My timing for all things. For now, just began to pray into it with the points I have given you. When the time comes, all will be ready to be implemented and completed.”
Ok Lord. Do you have a word for your flock?
“Some may feel you are in a haze or some type of malaise; uncertain, unsure and doubtful about things. It’s a demonic fog to cause much confusion and stop forward-motion with my brides. I am clearing all of that up now. My brides, step forward and trust that I am with you. Be sure to put on your full armor of God daily and when this fog seems to hit, declare your trust in Me, and that you have sound mind and renounce fear!”
That was the end of Jesus short but sweet message. He is right, because the last few days when I have been hit with this brain fog as Mother Clare would call it, I declare what Jesus said for us to do and it goes away. I am able to focus and finish my tasks.
Please pray for me family. Pray for us all here in Ghana as we pray for you all.
God bless you until the next message.