During prayer today I was finding it hard to connect with Jesus. I have been finding it hard to connect with Jesus for a while now.
I even received the chapter in the Imitation of Mary of how to seek Jesus when you have lost Him. I thought: uh oh.. It’s true that it’s been a very busy week for me in the morning, not by my own will but I have been asked to step out every morning which causes me not to have a chance to pray and do the Lord’s Supper as I should. I have been very busy with the world and ministry and felt so sorry for putting the Lord on the back burner for a bit. So this morning, coming into prayer, I had no expectations and the scripture came to my mind that the Lord resists the proud but exalts the humble.
I could feel the distance between me and the Lord and I just submitted to His will that if He wanted to show up that He could by faith and in contrition I was there, but if He didn’t I wouldn’t be mad or resentful ether. When the Lord does this, it reminds me not to take this grace and gift of hearing His voice for granted because it means everything.
During worship, I haven’t been able to really connect with the songs. It seems the songs are not really about what I am going through or feeling at the moment. And usually they are, the Lord really speaks to me very clearly through the lyrics of every song. So I love my time with the Lord in worship. Lately there’s been just, a disconnect.
So I now tend to think maybe He is talking about someone else I need to pray for and I humbly sit and soak in His presence in dryness. This morning was the same, the songs where nice but didn’t really connect with any one of the songs for instruction or clarity, so I decided to pull some Rhemas instead.
The first said: Ask for my perseverance
So I felt, ok this is a trial and a cross.
The next was from Blessed Mother and she said: “I am turning all your filthy rags into precious rags of righteousness”.
The last two brought much confusion as it said ‘Pray’ and ‘Begin the prayer clinic in Texas, now is the time provision will come and I have brought the right people‘
The other card attached to it said: ‘Do it afraid‘.
I thought, what? Lord, it doesn’t make sense with all that You have told me to do and hasn’t been completed yet. I have been here before and realized I need to take a step back, submit this to my covering so the enemy doesn’t get me to bite off more than I can chew.. I felt this was a cross also.
For confirmation, my Lords Supper readings were: ‘Psalm Sunday’ and ‘Jesus Passion’.
I sat there hoping for a bread crumb or something.. Then I saw Jesus on the cross, beard plucked just panting, moving his head left to right panting. Then I saw Blessed Mother at His feet starting at me, then staring at Him. I knew this dryness, lack of connection, communication and confusion was a cross. It had been a long time since seeing Jesus this way and I needed that to remind myself again that I am His bride, I am to be at His side and to persevere in all suffering and be faithful, even when consolation is taken away – because I haven’t been faithful as I should.
I could feel Blessed Mother wanting to talk –
Our Mother of Mercy began,
“My beloved daughter in your darkness I am here, in your confusion I am here, in your dryness I am here. I will always be here, never to leave your side or evade my presence from you when you are feeling far from Jesus. I am a gift to you as a Mother and to the Church, if they would but understand. There are times when a cross like this is most necessary for a soul to be sanctified, so that you may treat the Lords’ graces and gifts with more humility, more faithfulness and more honor and respect when it’s returned back to you. You will see His words like golden treasures, you will not neglect or hide from them again.
“All of this He does to get you not to be lukewarm in this call or take His words for granted. So you see, when you feel the Lord is not present or close, He is. He never leaves nor forsakes any souls, but does allow you to feel abandoned at times just like he did on the cross. The Father was so near, they were one, and He felt every ounce of pain on the road to Calvary. They suffered together, but when that time came for Him to give up His Spirit, in one last act of grace, the Father removed the feeling of His presence. (Matthew 27, verses 45-47: Now from the sixth hour, there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour, Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is to say, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?”)There was such a void, a hollow hole felt in His heart.. He had never experienced such darkness over His soul, that it made Him shiver. I could feel it too; although I wasn’t on the cross physically next to Him, I was on the cross, and felt every pierce of pain in His heart.
“There is nothing like the loss of the presence of God; it’s hell itself because that is what hell consists of – the void of the presence of Love, the presence of the Father, the presence of all that is good, warm, compassionate and caring. You get nothing, just coldness and darkness. Many of the brides are enduring through such a trial and yet are finding fault with themselves because of it, rather than seeing it as a cross that they too are crucified with our Lord and He is on the cross now in agony in His passion for all the heinous acts going on in the world, and all the wrath of the Father that is to come upon the whole world.
“Plead for mercy my dear ones, plead for mercy every hour if you can think of it, offering the most precious blood of the Divine Son to the Father continually. We are at the brink of so much, things bursting forth into the fullness of prophecy the world and the souls of this Earth need much prayer. Although the Lord has given so many signs, many are still easily distracted by the cares of this world and the cares of life, whilst others are suffering horrific tortures at the hands of Satan’s servants. Their cries are heard day and night as the evil one has amped up his rituals, murders and deadly assignments to ensure to pave the way for his time of reign. So much is happening beyond the surface, so much. Your Jesus my beloved brides, is in so much pain; His body in agony and His heart broken. Be with Him, comfort Him and stay with Him at His feet.
“The way in which you can do that, is to no longer complain about the cross of dryness and disconnect He gives you. You know better than anyone that He will never leave your side, so why do you get so easily disturbed and perturbed when you don’t feel His presence? Love is not about feelings, but a knowing between two lovers who know one another, know each others love and are comfortable with one anothers love that no words need to be said, but being in one another presence is enough. Stay with Him in adoration my brides. Adore Him in silence and gratitude, pleading for mercy for the whole world.”
And that was the end of Our Mother of Mercy’s message.
Thank you family for your continued support and prayers. We’re so grateful for your giving and support and generosity to the phase 1 building project. We’ll have pictures, videos and updates soon. Besides the farming project, we are low on donations for our every day needs, and to support those who are in need here in Ghana, and those who reach out asking for financial help. So please think of us this month.
God bless you, until the next message.