Hello brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers family.
After finally finishing the engagement ceremony, I found myself feeling very dry in prayer, confused, sick of the world, and longing for Jesus. I realized I hadn’t been faithful at all to His instructions He gave me this month. The projects I was to finish, and to His known will. With confusion, came laziness and anxiety as to what to do next, and really hearing His voice or better yet; trust what I was hearing. I felt like a huge failure and so disappointed in myself…
I had gotten this Rhema:
“But God does not withdraw His mercy nor permit even one of His promises to fail. He does not uproot the posterity: “the future” of the chosen: nor destroy the offspring of His friends Ben Sira 47:22
And on the back it read: “When Solomon failed in serving God at the end of his life a wonderful promises when you mess up”
And I knew I had messed up leaving the channel without messages for so long, not being available for souls who were hurting or needing my counsel, and not finishing anything the Lord told me to do. I was feeling pretty much like poo, and ashamed of myself really. I didn’t realize condemnation was what was stopping me from hearing the Lords’ voice.
Further more, during the Lords’ Supper, my gospel reading was about Matthew 5:17-37 Where Jesus admonished me for some of my sins of self-righteousness, offense, unforgiveness. I thought: oh boy Lord.. I really messed up. Help me please. Then, one of the last Rhemas I pulled right before sitting down listen to Him said: “Discipline do violence to your flesh!!”
Alright Lord, please help me! I came before Him – Good morning Jesus, What’s on Your heart?
“Keep your eyes on Me beloved. Yes on Me alone, remember? ”
I could see Jesus smiling sweetly at Me with such love and warmth. Lord, I have failed You miserably. My unfaithfulness to You has reached an all-time high.
“By whose standard?”
Mine Lord or?..
“Again, it is your standards. There have been many times where you have been even worse in your unfaithfulness to love Me and to do My will, but My mercy triumphed over judgment and it will continue to My little one. All your misery and sin has been tossed in the ocean of My mercy and all that is available is love My little one, so much love for you”
Thank You Lord, for Your mercy towards Me. It’s quite amazing how much you believe in Me and how you continue to encourage Me to keep going when I think You should just get someone else. As an aside – I was feeling so inadequate with ministry and the mission the City of God. I also got the Rhema:
“Pride always justifies self-will” I thought, ‘ouch’..
“Your weakness make you just perfect for the job My little one. You have nothing to fear, but I do want to warn you of pride that was ever rising withing you. You see, when you are consumed with confusion, distraction, disorientation, because you have not connected with Me or hearing Me clearly; it leaves the door wide open for pride and presumption. I am your spouse. your ever closest friend and I desire for us to discus everything. I have given you counsel already on many things, but because of your unbelief, you continue to doubt and question, which leaves the door open for the demons to further sift you My little one. Believe, Believe, Believe, period. That it just it. Obey and believe.”
Oh Lord I believe.. but help my unbelief.
“There are many assignments of division against all of you, but continue to walk in brotherly love, communicating with one another, forgiving any offenses quickly and easily and the enemy will not get a foothold. I need you to be more disciplined with your schedule, with your time and the graces that I have given you. There is much to do with the time I have given you, so much that can get done if you are diligent and disciplined My beloved little one. Now is not the time to be laxed or get comfortable beloved. It is the time to move forward with all that I have asked you to do and really connect back with your flock; they need your guidance and motherly affection.”
Yes Lord. Do you have a word for the flock?
Jesus responded,“I want to talk to My brides about failures. Failures are most necessary to your journey of holiness with Me. Everyone I used for a work in My Kingdom, failed one way or the other. You live in a generation that despises failure, looks down upon failure and scorns it. This has caused many to run after perfection, judge themselves according to human standard, pursue achievements, rewards and accolades; rather than embracing their misery and nothingness. That is what My grace is drawn to, for in your weakness, My grace becomes sufficient.
“Why do you I have so many of My brides scared to fail? And even after failure, you run from Me in shame and disappointment, sometimes in disgust at yourselves. My beloved ones, embrace your failures and thank Me for it. It shows all, that the more your great reliance on Me, no-one can overcome or champion anything without My grace and help. Some souls are given an innate ability, a gift at birth in certain areas that mold their character and who they have been created to be but in that, still, it is all a gift. It comes from above from My Father, so it is still not them at all but rather, the divine in them working to do His will and good pleasure.
“In your failures, you come to know that I’m enough and you cry out to Me for help and I come running. You have failed miserably beloved with all that I instructed you to do and asked of you, but today is a new day and you can make up for that by corresponding with the new graces and mercies given to you each morning. That goes for you as well My brides. Many of you are sitting on your hands with feet tied, unable to move forward because you are focusing on your failures rather than on My grace.
“Arise, get up because your Master is calling. Do not allow your failures to bring shame and then turn from Me when what you need is My embrace, My loving correction, and My merciful gaze to tell you that I believe in you, I trust you again with My instruction and that you can do it with Me, and in Me, you can do all things. Sit at My feet for direction and try again. Do not go off on your own as so many do after a fall, thinking they can make things right on their own but rather come to Me humbly, bending one knee saying – Father, have mercy on your poor little weakling. And you will be given the grace to get back up again.”
Lord, please help me in all things and help me to be obedient to Your instructions.
“I will beloved, do violence to that flesh and respond to Me when I call and you will be fine, Go now My little one, be at peace and strive to do better today”.
And that was the end of Jesus’ merciful message towards us.
He is so merciful and so loving. It’s quite amazing truly how much He does believe in us.
Well, thank you for those who have given to the GoFundMe Phase 1 Building Campaign for the City of God Community. Please family, remember us and support us. God bless you, until the next message.