Hello brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers family. I got the Lord’s Supper reading about Jeremiah feeling duped by the Lord. And usually when I get this Lord’s Supper reading, it’s so disheartening, because it’s always letting me know that a contradiction is coming, from a message Jesus gave me, or a direction, or a counsel or even a promise; that He’s going to allow a contradiction. So I was so despondent when I got this.
You deceived me, Lord, and I was deceived;
you overpowered me and prevailed.
I am ridiculed all day long;
everyone mocks me.
Whenever I speak, I cry out
proclaiming violence and destruction.
So the word of the Lord has brought me
insult and reproach all day long.
But if I say, “I will not mention his word
or speak anymore in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.
I became so despondent because that is the same reading He gave me months ago, when I went through a fiery trial which I thought would just break me. So immediately I thought of the promises the Lord made concerning this India trip, and I knew He allowed another contradiction, and that my expectations would be shattered and in the days to come – and they were.
Good morning Lord, what’s on Your heart?
“There is much opposition beloved and I need you to press in and press through. You are allowing the enemy to just have a field day, you are not using your authority to command these little devils to leave”.
Lord what are the demons I need to bind?
“You know beloved, as they manipulate your feelings – what do you feel?”
Fear anger, bitterness, resentment weariness, discouragement and definitely brooding
Oh and laziness.
It’s been very difficult in India for various reasons – and struggling to really carry my cross. I find myself in tears many mornings, then having to wipe them away to speak and preach. Every time I don’t think I can pull through, Jahnavi encouraged me, and the Lord’s grace truly becomes sufficient for me.
I then also got an email from a Heartdweller. I married her and her husband about two years ago, and it was my first marriage ceremony as a Priest. They are a beautiful couple and we discerned it was the Lords will; but now she emailed me saying she found that he is cheating and was so distraught. My heart was so heavy for her as well, and of course doubt came to my mind about my discernment; but others discerned, and they have a child together. I just believed it was a very hard trial the Lord was taking her through, and my heart ached for her and very frustrated at the husband as well.
“Definitely bind them all beloved and call forth My peace and stand on My faithfulness, which I know you’re doubting, and that too is a cross for you.”
Yes Lord, you know why. I just wonder will this ever end? Will this be again another long trial of months of pain before deliverance comes? And how can I trust any word again? It’s so hard. I feel numb and wanting to close off my heart even to You Lord. I’m sorry I feel I’m losing hope in Your words because of the many contradictions.
“I know beloved, this cross hasn’t been easy and this life won’t be either, but I promise you My faithfulness will burst forth very soon. And in this relationship it has been tried in the fiery furnace and will continue to be. Know that as you carry this cross for this soul, he too is being purified in his own way. He truly is, and once I truly bring him to the end of himself, he will want nothing to do with his old ways old habits and deceitfulness. What I do need is your co-operation. Although knowing the truth; you love him, honor him, listen to him, respect him and receive all that he gives you, without a hint of disgust or resentment”
That is very hard Lord, give me the grace.
“And the grace has been given beloved. Although you seem foolish and the devils will make you feel foolish; you are not. But rather, you are walking and growing in the power of love. Co-operate and trust Me, really trust Me. That same love obtained for you, this grace during My time on Earth with Judas. You keep asking why must you know, why must it be revealed to you – so that you can pray beloved, and grow in much virtue.
“It’s easy to love people from the surface, but to love someone in knowing the depths of their misery and sin, shows My light of love to the world, and to the devils. They hate that. And the reason why you are tormented constantly, that you may give up and walk away, leaving the soul who is struggling to their own demise. But rather, you have laid down your life for many, and for your husband as well; just as this soul will one day lay down his life truly for you, and for My will.
“You see, this situation is a perfect example of My love towards Judas. Many of My brides are in the same valley, dealing with different types of betrayal; and I want to minister to them through you. Share My love through you. I too was tempted and harassed by Satan and the devils several times concerning Judas. They wanted Me to show partiality, but the truth is, in My heart I loved and favored all My disciples the same. They wanted Me to reject him, murmur in My heart against him, be angry and embittered at him for what I knew he was going to do, and what I knew he was doing.
“My love was being tested in the greatest way. To have a foreknowledge of someone betraying Me, pretending with Me smiling in My face all the while lured away by selfish desires and motives of only lifting himself – all this right under My nose. I could’ve shared it with the disciples, but what good would that have done? But rather incited more sin amongst us, and within their hearts. I could’ve intervened telling him his end and making it known that I knew what he was going to do, but I didn’t want to usurp his free will. So rather I loved him mercilessly in hopes his heart would turn; but I knew it was written concerning him, so rather I prayed for mercy daily for him to the Father.
“I could’ve exposed him and condemned him, but I didn’t. Rather I lovingly gave him opportunities time and time again of My trust, of My care, and of My faith in him that he could change, that he could come to Me and I could help him; but he chose otherwise. That is not your case or the case of many of My brides facing this same or similar dilemma. It can be a spouse, family member, coworker or friend. Love them My beloved brides. Although you may have a revelation concerning their true intention, or struggles towards you – love them, forgive them, and deny yourself the desire to expose their weakness, expose their struggles, or even confrontation. Rather pray for them, and allow Me to come to your defense and heal them, and heal you in the process. Whether you believe it or not little one, I am healing you and this soul. Healing is always done in the breaking, always; I break to heal.
“Many times, My brides, you have inordinate affections, attachments, that can become idols in your life. Especially with those you love, and I am breaking that in these trials, love has to be tested and tried, and tested and tried, over and over again, until purified to truly withstand the test of these times and the God of this age that seeks to devour any good thing; especially destroying relationships, friendships and marriages among Christians. You see, I am making you into My fortress of love both of you. I am bringing conviction in his heart daily little one.
“And I will do the same My brides, for those in whom you are contending with, and whom have hurt you. It is by your goodness and kindness that will lead them to repentance. Don’t give up or give in to your feelings, there is so much goodness and fruitfulness ahead along this road. My beloved brides, you never looked more beautiful when you love as I do, and that love is displayed on those who have hurt you. Love them, do good to those who hurt you, bless those who curse you, and show mercy to those who deserve your judgment. For in by all these things, you become perfect, just as your Father in Heaven is perfect. Perfect in love.”
And that was the end of Jesus’ message.