“For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand. Today, if you will hear His voice: ‘Do not harden your hearts, as in the rebellion, as in the day of trial in the wilderness’.” Psalm 95:7-8
Dear family, during my morning devotions, the Holy Spirit took me back to the years I was living in disobedience while confessing to be in fellowship with the Lord. I use the book of Psalms for my early morning devotion, I try to read 5 psalms each morning meditatively praying over the verses.
In my initial testimony in this channel titled, “From Luxury And Lost Faith, To Seclusion And Salvation”, I promised to share my other experiences in my fallen state, in my seclusion and new walk in the Lord.
When the Lord directed me to go into seclusion and cut contact with the whole world – except about 3 souls – I had no idea I would stay in seclusion for 7 years! No phone, no radio, no television – really no access to the world. Occasionally when I must meet someone because of a situation in the world that involved me and needed my attention, I had to move at night and sleep at my former brother-in-law’s house where I would do my meeting the next day. At that time in the outside world, only my kid brother and a dear friend knew my true whereabouts, though the Lord initially didn’t allow them to know my specific “hideout”. My hideout became a sacred place because all I did in that room was pray, read the Bible, sing hymns, and look at the ceiling. One day the Lord told me my room has become like the “Garden of Gethsemane”. It was not easy, there were very difficult days, but Lord’s grace was truly sufficient. Each day I lived with the expectation to be told by the Lord it was time to go back to the world. Everyone else in the world thought I was in Europe.
In my first year in seclusion, as I indicated in my initial testimony, I shared with you a message given by the Lord Jesus to my spiritual mother for me.
The message was in three parts. Part one of the message the Lord told her to tell me He had chosen me to live with Him in heaven, and therefore, I must stop my sexual immorality, for in heaven there is no sex.
Guys, I am in seclusion; no chance to sexually sin, and I was in repentance, so I really did not understand this message. In my mind, I had no plans to return to that lifestyle.
Let me share something here: a few months in seclusion, the Lord told me to write down all women I had fornicated with and confess asking Him to forgive me and each lady and ask Him to cleanse both of us and the place we defiled. I was shocked with the number of ladies and I had to pray for 7 days. So in my mind, sexual immorality was the last thing on my mind. Definitely, I knew from Bible there will be no marriage (sex) in heaven so I didn’t understand where it was coming from Lord.
But now I know.
Sex was an idol in my heart and the Lord could see it sabotaging His will in my life, even after I return to the world. Anyone immoral is under [the] control of the Spirit of Immorality. Yes, when I got back to the world, I was sincerely immersed in the Lord, but I was not yet delivered from that spirit. By the way, all that time in the world with the many women, I just thought it was a lifestyle, but I didn’t realize that a Spirit of Immorality was in me! Brothers and sisters, because of our faith and being active in Christian fellowship and ministry, we can seem to “manage” the spirit and seem to walk in victory… But be warned, my dear ones, one day the devil will create the right circumstances to trigger your fall, and it will not only surprise you, but devastate you. Some might even have this spirit but it has still not manifested. Don’t trust yourself.
I shared how I tried to take an indefinite dry fast to be delivered from it but the Lord rebuked me. I always think because He wanted me to hate the sin and not seek a supernatural deliverance. This sin has brought me a lot of pain, lost many graces and time which no one can redeem. I really believe the two broken marriages I have had after my first wife divorced me, was because the Spirit of Lust manipulated me to enter into marriages that were not of the Lord. I strongly believe the Lord allowed a Familiar Spirit to lead me into marriages that were not of the Lord. The sisters are good people but the unions were not of the Lord. When we have an area in our life that is not pleasing to the Lord and we are stubborn about it, the Lord allows a Familiar Spirit in our life because of open doors. So, family, I was an idolator and I didn’t even know it. Yes, born-again, in ministry, but an idolator. And the idol was sex.
So reading the above scripture convicted me and wondered what idol still holds sway in my heart. Let’s not deceive ourselves without doing violence to idols in our hearts seeking the Lord for deliverance. We will not only bring disgrace to the Lord and His people, but we can give Satan access to our lives, families, ministries, and the Christian community you belong to and cause a lot of chaos.
My humble advice:
(1) acknowledge your idol (weakness) & repent
(2) Read verses in Bible about the idol (sin)
(3) Talk to the Lord about it & seek-deliverance
(4) Confide in your spiritual Father or Mother or mature Christian.
This last one is important because the sin will not be your secret anymore, you will have someone watching over you and covering you with prayers. Remember, it’s warfare! Satan won’t let you go easy but at the end you will enjoy the sweetness of clean conscience after the victory! When we indulge this spirit by feeding it by our immorality, it builds a stronghold.
Young people, flee from sexual immorality! If you don’t, it will bring you a lot of pain. Masturbation, pornography, flirting – all these, flee from them! Remember the Bible verse at the beginning, I quote part of it now: “Today, if you will hear His voice; ‘Do not harden your hearts, as in the rebellion.’” [Psalm 95:7]
When the Lord gives direction, just obey, He always knows better.
Soon, Lord willing, I will share more about the other two messages the Lord gave my spiritual Mother while I was in seclusion. May the Lord sanctify our bodies, souls, and spirits. Be blessed.
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