Hello, Brother, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family. May we ladies be given the grace of beautiful submission to the Lord and to the men that he has chosen for us.
So for the past couple of days, after my fiery trial with the interview being canceled, my discernment was all over the place. I would go to Bible Promise to ask the Lord a question or discern His will and no clarity would be given. That is my go-to, to always [in] discerning things and because of that, I became very wobbly and insecure in my own confidence — being able to rightly discern things. So I reached out to my “third leg of discernment” for help in everything. I wasn’t sure if this was the enemy, my own fear or it was a cross, until I pulled the Rhema card, “I need this sacrifice for now”, that I knew it was a cross and a hard one.
I had no compass besides trusting my gut and I couldn’t trust myself at all. Then Mother Clare made a comment that maybe the Lord is doing this so I can lean on Derrick’s discernment instead, for the trip. I thought, Nooooo, Lord really? Then another brother said it the following day when I told him the trial I was going through. And, as you know, out of one or two witnesses the Lord’s word is confirmed. I thought, Lord, really? I use the Bible Promises for everything and having to submit my discernment to Derrick on such an important trip — could I do that? I thought for sure it was submitting in small, personal things, but not ministry stuff, right?
A few more days went by, and my discernment still wasn’t back. I was getting nervous — starting to think that maybe this was what the Lord really wanted me to do. My Lord’s Supper reading hit me right in between the eyes, it was Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
I thought, okay Lord, I think you’re trying to make a point here. All morning I had been praising God for his goodness and realizing how truly weak I am. I must have hurt himwith my unbelief and so many doubts concerning this trip. Everything is happening just as he said. So after receiving the Lord I could hear Him speaking to me.
Good morning Lord, I am so ashamed, Jesus, at my lack of trust and how so easily I am given in to insecurity and fear, Lord. I am pitiful.
“Yes, that you are, My beloved dove, but you’re My kind of pitiful. A soul who is so little, so insignificant, so helpless, that it draws My mercy and causes Me to come every time, running to pick you up to Myself — taking you to the heights of heaven and a glory in My Holiness for all to see. To shine so bright with My mercy that others may come to trust Me, love Me, and immerse themselves in My merciful love. That is My kind of pitiful, Beloved, and how beautiful that is.
“You are truly starting to see yourself as nothing and truly embracing your misery. That is beautiful to Me and that is what I will do with all souls who will give Me their weaknesses continuously — not be afraid to share them, expose them and be transparent about them. That is what it means to boast in the cross and boast in your weaknesses because I get all the glory. Now come here, there is so much I want to share with you.”
I then saw Jesus hugging me tenderly and holding my head under his chin as he cupped it with his hands. I looked a bit younger, in my late teens or early twenties.
“I’m speaking to you today, not just as your bridegroom, but as your God. My beloved, I am excited you are moving into a new season and [many] lessons you will have to learn to transition and adjust. You recognize now that I don’t do things the normal way because My thoughts are always higher, and also My ways are always better”, [He said, smiling].
So, Lord, you’re taking my ability to discern rightly, on purpose? (And a thought came in to my mind, guys — it’s for Derrick).
“Yes, Beloved, I want you to now submit yourself to Derick entirely.”
But Lord, he…
Jesus finished my statement…
“He is not your husband, you say? In whose eyes?”
Guys just a back story; when we were together we struggled with this because the Lord was leading us in two different directions. I wanted to submit to him as my fiancé, but Jesus said clearly, “No, he is not your husband yet”. That really hurt him. And now, this second time around, I had the stance in my mind that until we get married I would of course, honor his suggestions but I would be sure to always double-check with the Lord first to ensure it was His will. I am very surprised at this new direction the Lord is taking and I learned my first lesson when Derrick chose the place for us to live in Sierra Leone. I thought it didn’t really fall in line with our vow of poverty but the Lord wasn’t giving me confirmation about anything until Mother Clare simply said just listen to Derrick, and I thought, Oohh, sorry Lord, and I apologized to Derrick and booked the place. I am a mess.
“He has always been made, created, and destined for you and this is the appointed time for you to yield yourself to his suggestions, his ideas, and his directions more and more. His heart is mine and My Spirit will move through and in him on this trip. I am also teaching you to submit to others. During this mission it’s important you communicate with one another. You are no longer a lone Ranger so it’s important you three come to a unified decision after prayer on certain things and that too is another reason. Do not worry, I will lead you three beautifully, and you will come to have great confidence in My Spirit taking the reins using others and him to lead the way in what I want to do there”.
Lord, I didn’t realize how hard this is. I’m starting to feel very insecure and wobbly again.
Guys, if I can be honest, I was thinking, Is this really the Lord? What if I am hearing wrong? The truth is, am I really ready for this? I mean I planned on being submissive once I got married and that is a little ways away. I wasn’t ready to do it on this trip. Ladies, I am telling you, I am a hot mess. I didn’t realize the interior struggle as all these thoughts of what if he says this, or doesn’t understand that, or is not interested in my way of life? I have had a routine for seven years, of prayer, discernment, then moving. And now, trusting Derrick’s lead. He hasn’t been taught the way that I have been taught or disciplined. What if we take a direction that is outside the will of God, then what? I am just being brutally honest with you guys, these were my thoughts — and I saw my stinking pride…
“Yes, because you have been so reliant on the Bible Promises, which is a great tool and instrument I have given you to discern My will, but now I am giving you to another. I know the struggle you have in this area and that is why I am doing this, so you would be more readily and easily able to submit because your trust won’t be in him but in Me.
“You will come to see how beautifully he becomes in tune with My Spirit and led by Me in all he does. This won’t happen if you question, or become unsure, or rather disregard his instructions and seek Me out instead. My beloved, although you haven’t had an official sacramental wedding ceremony I have made it clear to you who Derrick is to you, what will happen on this trip and how you will be given to him as his wife.
“The readings you received in the Lord’s Supper were very intentional, Beloved, to hone in this point — submit to him, and in turn, he will submit to Me and will leave his father and mother’s house and join you on the mountain. Trust Me, dear one, it is time for you to fly with Derrick in the front and Me at the helm. In time he will also begin asking you to discern My will to ensure he is going in the right direction — and when he does, then you can use The Bible Promise and show him how I have taught you to discern and how he can discern as well. But, until then, I want you to honor and respect his leading as you have honored and respected My leading for so long.
“That was one of the many roadblocks in your relationship before. He felt so unheard and rightly so. He was going in a completely opposite direction from where I was taking you. Do not feel guilty about the past because you were being led by Me — although, you could have been more gentle in areas. But it was My will to separate you guys so that I could work on both of you. And now I am bringing you together. In fact, he is already yours, Beloved, so no more anxiety and fear, just have peace and rejoice.”
It’s true, guys, fears were starting to creep up again about the trip and just then Derrick called and shared his feelings and heart for me in the most beautiful way, and finally seeing that I was Christ to him — that I Never left, never wanted anything in return but just loved him through everything. That was a sweet consolation, thank you Jesus. It shut down all my fears again.
“But you must trust Me through him, on this trip. Do that, and his heart will melt like butter”
Really Lord, like butter?
“Yes, you get the picture — this is not just for you but for many of my precious daughters listening. Yes, this is a season and the generation for great lionesses to arise in these end-times to preach the gospel. You will do greater exploits, preaching, teaching, and healing than that of your counterparts, the men, in this generation.
“Do not be moved, Little One, by those who have been broken or hurt by women in their past. There will be many men who will have an ego complex because of this and become uneasy showing a lack of respect or honor in female leadership.”
As an aside, I felt there was a small cancer growing in the community as I have heard many of the men make comments about the female leadership on the mountain. After I heard this from three different people I realized I needed to pray that there was a small but subtle undermining going on with female leadership. Brother Juniper and I discussed these things, and I received some clarity from his part but still had my concerns for the community.
“Just pray for them, but do not worry yourself because the Rhema I gave you was clear.”
The Rhema said,
“Jesus gave primary roles of leadership to women in the Bible. Men out of the arrogance and pride, suffered greatly when they did not listen to women. Pilate for instance. Jesus gave primary roles to women.
“That many men, out of the arrogance and pride, lost it all when they did not listen to women. Pilate was one; the disciples could have if they had not heeded Mary Magdalen’s instructions that I had risen. I revealed myself to her first among My apostles after, My Mother.
“King Xerxes could have wiped out the whole nation of Israel and had that blood on his hands if he had not listened to his queen Esther and surely he would’ve died by the assignation of Haman if he wasn’t found out (Esther 5). And Nabal was a fool not to listen to his wife after resisting My hand in helping David and was struck dead with his wife taken and given to David (1 Samuel 25). There are so many more stories of leadership roles in the Bible given to women; Judith, Deborah, and Zipporah who saved Moses from My wrath when he was disobedient, (Exodus 4:24-26).
“So you see you are very important — women are very important in their role — for I said it was not good for man to be alone for a very good reason. However, with this generation, as many rise to the forefront, I will have your husbands take a supportive role because this is the time for My Mother and Her army of daughters to arise in preparing the way for My second coming. But do not for one second, My beloved daughters, think your leading, usurps or underminds your husband’s role as the head.
“He will always be the head and led by Me to lead you even in the supportive role. It is very important that you honor, respect, adore and uplift your husbands in all they do, in all they ask of you and lead you. Never do anything that is against your conscience — meaning something that will cause you to sin or grieve the Holy Spirit — but know that your gifts, your anointing, your work is useless to Me if you do not obey and honor your husband.”
Immediately, guys, when Jesus says obey, I envisioned this a man telling his wife with such authority, OBEY ME as if to lord it over her, and I thought, I have to obey him what? Dang. Then I came to myself and realized Jesus heard my thoughts and knew all that I was thinking.
Sorry, Lord, I didn’t realize how much of a struggle this was for me. I have been led by you for so long.
“Yes, Beloved, but obedience to him is obedience to Me, respect for him is respect for Me, honor for him is honor for Me. No longer see Derrick but see Me and it will become a lot easier. Even when he doesn’t act right it takes greater faith, yes, but see Me.
“My beloved daughters, see Me in your spouses and the grace to submit yourself more and more will become easier.
“Those in difficult marriages, you say he acts nothing like you Lord. He is mean, cold, and prideful. And I say to you, you were once mean, cold, and prideful — how did I love you? With great patience, with much grace, and with an ocean of mercy and kindness to draw you to Myself— and I want you to do the same.
“If you would love your spouses and like you love Me, My beloved daughters, you would have your husband’s hearts in the palm of your hands. It’s love, it is love and respect that men need, especially in this generation. Give them that and you can turn the hardest and the most brute of man into a tender teddy bear in your arms. I didn’t say it would be easy because love costs, it hurts, and takes a lot of work and patience, but I am giving you all the grace for that now and for you as well, Little One.
“You have tarried, you have prayed, you have cried out for this and here he is, just for you. Please trust Me — love him well as you have loved Me. Honor and respect him well as you have honored Me, and obey his every suggestion, inclination, and direction just as you have obeyed Me, beautifully, causing so many to follow Me because of your great example.
“Now, I am and will make you a great example of a wife for many daughters, I am calling up higher and in leadership, to follow so they will see how it’s done and how they can win their husbands over by loving submission which will cause them to be so secure in their role as a man that they will so easily hand over the desire to be in the limelight or lead visibly, leaving that place for my daughters to rise up in their call. That is how the great lionesses will rise in this generation, by beautiful submission.”
That was the end of the Lord’s beautiful message.
Wow! Thank you, Lord! Ladies let’s pray for one another, truly, [laugh]. I think we may all need help in this area. Thank you, Lord — thank you Lord, for this grace —the grace of submission. Amen.