Hello, dear Heartdwellers! This is Anastasia, the translator of Mother Clare’s messages into Russian.
Today I would like to tell you about a situation that recently happened to me and to Yaroslava, the translator of Mother Mary Elisha’s messages into Russian. Therefore, part of this message will be on my behalf, and the other part, on behalf of Yaroslava.
We would like to tell you about a recent experience that both Yaroslava and I had that we hope will benefit you, so that you can see from our example one of the enemy’s tactics that he can use against you, against your family, friends, Christian group, community, and so on. So that you can be ready for this by putting on the full armor of God, and most importantly – by brotherly love, mercy, humility, patience, and trust in God, His choice, His timing, and His ways.
I will begin by telling you about my experience, followed by a similar experience that Yaroslava had.
So, a small introduction.
Yaroslava and I are not only part of the Heartdwellers team, but we are also part of the Heartdwellers Ghana team, led by Mother Mary Elisha. She is a priest and our bishop in apostolic succession (that is, she was ordained in apostolic succession and maintains it). Thus, there are: bishop and leader Mother Elisha; then priests, intercessors, translators, and other helpers in the Heartdwellers Ghana team. But not all members of the team are priests.
And here, guys, as an aside, I want to add right away that bishops differ from priests, in that they can ordain other people as priests, while priests themselves do not have such a privilege. Also, the bishop is responsible to the Lord for all the priests he/she has ordained, and the priests, in turn, make a vow of obedience to their bishop in the Lord Jesus through the Holy Spirit; this is the establishment of the Church – that those who are older in rank, are responsible for those who are younger in rank.
Recently, Mother Elisha told all of us that the Lord was calling many of us to a higher ministry, which is more complex and responsible, namely, to the priestly and/or episcopal ministry. That is, priests, to the episcopal ministry, and those who were not priests, to the priestly ministry. I knew in advance that many of our priests would soon become bishops and that I could become one of them too, since I am also a priest. And in the depths of my soul, on the one hand, I was waiting for this “promotion”, and on the other hand, I didn’t want to be a bishop, since I was well aware that, as Father Ezekiel says, “new levels – new devils”. The pressure and temptations will SIGNIFICANTLY increase, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it, and if I would be able to cope with the duties that I already had as a translator and priest, not to mention new duties. Therefore, on the one hand, I had expectations and anticipation, and on the other, uncertainty and doubts. Plus, Mother Elisha was very careful to discern each member of our team as to whether or not the Lord was calling them to a new ministry.
About two months ago, one day I got up in the morning, looked in the mail as usual and saw an email from Mother Elisha informing our entire group about the ordination of new priests and bishops and asking that we all congratulate them on their new calling, which the Lord had determined for them. However, when the list of those selected to become bishops was revealed, my name was not among the “chosen”, which meant the Lord didn’t choose me. At that moment, I felt a pang of rejection by the Lord and disappointment in my heart, but I was ready to accept it and come to terms with it.
Then the most interesting began.
As you know, the enemy is an opportunist and uses ANY situation against us to finish us off, break and knock us down spiritually so that we either become disappointed in the Lord, in ministry, in life, and so on – or fall into a pit of self-pity, envy, bitterness, and the like, and generally turned away from the Lord. All this happens in the spirit, the enemy comes only to steal, deceive, kill and destroy, and also to divide us, set us against each other and completely destroy our life, purpose and mission. This is his plan.
So, IMMEDIATELY after I received the disappointing news from Mother Elisha and felt a sting of rejection by the Lord in my heart, my mom and I had a small misunderstanding, to which she had an overreaction (it was obvious that the enemy cleverly used my mom and had a hand in her overreaction), and she said to me in a harsh tone, “EVERYONE REJECTS YOU, NO ONE NEEDS YOU, NO ONE LOVES YOU, YOU ARE A USELESS PERSON”, and then she began to list all my mistakes in life, starting almost from my childhood. And when she said the words, “Everyone rejects you…”, the enemy’s thoughts clearly sounded in my head, “And God rejects you too”, the voice of my mom out loud, “No one needs you…”, the voice of the enemy in my head, “And God doesn’t need you too”, the voice of my mom out loud, “No one loves you”, the voice of the enemy in my head, “AND GOD DOESN’T LOVE YOU TOO!!!” My mom, “You are a useless person”, the enemy, “She is absolutely right”.
Guys, all I can tell you is that I was doubly hurt at that moment: firstly, by my mom’s words, and secondly, from such a real “rejection” by God, which was “confirmed” like clockwork in the words of my mom. And mind you – not earlier and not later, but immediately after the message from Mother Elisha. Of course, inwardly I understood that this whole situation with my mom was set up by the enemy, that God still loved me, and that I should trust Him in everything – in His will, His choice, His timing. But the wounds of my past made themselves felt.
This is when the hardest part began.
The fight against the enemy in the spirit of almost hand-to-hand combat, which lasted day and night for two days – especially at night, so I could not even fall asleep, but simply tossed and turned in bed from side to side – the enemy started bombarding me, with great force, with all sorts of lies about God, about Mother Elisha, about my brothers and sisters in our Heartdwellers Ghana group who were ordained, and even about Yaroslava.
He told me these words, “God does not love you, He betrayed you, He did not want to make you a bishop. You’ve served Him for so long, and look how He has repaid you. Mother Elisha and the whole group conspired against you in order to specifically promote everyone, and leave you behind and laugh at you, they are already laughing at you, look at Yaroslava, even to her God gave such powerful prophetic gifts, but not to you…”. And so on and on in the same vein. It was like a powerful shelling from volley fire systems in the spirit, only lies, deceit, slander, rejection, oppression, envy, pride, hurt ego served as projectiles.
On one hand, I was not agreeing with the enemy – I was rejecting all his vile, lying words. However, something inside me wanted very much to agree with them – my flesh and the wounds of the past made themselves felt and came to the surface. I told him, “Shut up, I don’t want to listen to you! I love God and my brothers and sisters! I trust God and stand on His word…”.
During the day it was somehow easier because it was possible to switch attention and do something, but at night there is no such possibility, the mind is awake, although the consciousness is in a half-asleep state.
The fight is in the mind, the battlefield is our mind.
I began to pray! It was difficult to pray! I called the Archangel Michael and the Blessed Mother for help, I prayed, “Hail, Mary …” and only after that I managed to fall asleep at least a little in the morning.
During the day, these disgusting thoughts continued to bombard me with renewed strength, but at the same time, I also heard the voice of God. He told me, “I am near, I am with you, I have not left you, do not listen to the enemy, trust Me, together we will overcome everything…”.
Guys, it was very hard, something was aching and hurting inside me, in my spirit, but at the same time, I felt the presence of God in my heart, the warmth and fire of His presence. And I decided to talk to Yaroslava and openly told her everything that was happening to me. She also openly told me what was going on with her. It turned out that she was under exactly the same attack by the enemy on the same topic of ordination. She and I decided to seek help from our group of intercessors. I wrote to them and asked for their prayer support. After that, Yaroslava and I immediately felt better, the attack and bombardment of the enemy were over. Praise and thanks be to God!
However, I have to be honest with you, guys. This situation allowed me to look deeper into my heart and see what was there. I saw that in my heart there was a desire for advancement “on the career ladder” so to speak. And I thought, “Lord, do I want You or honor and promotion?” I also saw envy in my heart, the desire to be revered, praised, extolled, preferred over others, and further down the list, as it is written in the litany of humility [a link to the text of the litany of humility will be given below].
Guys, I definitely have something to work on!!! Of course, I repented of this at confession and renounced these sins and vicious desires. And I realized that God did not allow this situation for nothing. He allowed it so that the dross that was in my heart would come to the surface, and that I would see it in myself with my own eyes. In other words, God allowed this to humble and purify me. And I am very grateful to Him for this! He continues to purify, change, and shape me.
Lord, I love You!
And now I give the floor to Yaroslava.
[Yaroslava began]
Hello, dear brothers and sisters in Christ! Here is Yaroslava, the translator of Mary Elisha’s messages.
What Anastasia told above is the tactic of the enemy, it pursued me for two days in a row. I even cried from the onslaught of the enemy. Anastasia and I had to ask for prayers from our group of intercessors.
Here is how it was:
I saw an email saying that Mary Elisha was choosing new priests and bishops. I didn’t want to be a priest or a bishop, it was too big of a burden. But the enemy did not wait long, and my good day turned into real spiritual warfare, full of tears and disappointment.
After reading this email, I began to hear such words from the enemy, “You see, God does not love you, He has left you. Look, He entrusted you with the dirty work of being just a translator, you are just an errand girl for Mary Elisha. Look at Anastasia, God loves her more than you, He made her a priest, why are you worse than her?” These words hurt me deeply, and I felt so bad spiritually, at that moment I did not feel the presence of God, although I heard His voice telling me many times, “Do not listen to the enemy, he is torturing you. Trust Me, I am near! I didn’t leave you alone”. I understood that it was the Lord speaking to me, but I could not concentrate at that moment on His soft and tender words, with which He tried to calm me. I rejected these thoughts – thoughts of both the Lord and the enemy, as best I could.
At night, the voice of the enemy was getting stronger and stronger, I could hardly sleep peacefully. I got up in the middle of the night, but I did not even hear the Lord, but only the voice of the enemy condemning me. I started crying and got scared because I didn’t feel the Lord beside me, I thought that the Lord had really left me. Although I knew in my heart that the Lord sometimes allows such suffering to happen for a while in order to save souls. But that terrible night, I could not think about what the Lord had done for me. I saw dark figures walking around my room, I was even more frightened. They began to say these words to me, “Look, where is your God? He left you! All the work that you did for people on YouTube was just a waste of time for you, your God used you, you will do this work, so what? What will He give you in return? He will not give you anything, He will send you to hell, look how many shortcomings and sins you have! Do you think He needs you so dirty? Look, Anastasia is many times more perfect than you, look how He loves her more, even Mary Elisha uses you”.
I heard these taunts every second, they laughed at me.
I was hurt to the core.
Later, I wrote to Anastasia and told her what had happened to me during those two days. She wrote that the enemy tempted her in the same way, but only the enemy described me to her in a better light in order to condemn her. And in my presence, the enemy praised Anastasia in order to humiliate me… Anastasia and I were at the same time in a misunderstanding. When we told everything to each other, we saw this as a vile tactic of the enemy. Honestly, after the whole thing, it made me laugh.
Later, the Lord began to calm me down, [and] gave me the grace to recover from these difficult days of demonic attacks. I went for a Rhema, and the Lord gave me a passage about spiritual warfare. I wrote to some Heartdwellers in Mother Clare’s group of intercessors [and learned that] most of the intercessors there were being attacked. Later, Grace wrote to me [Grace is one of the Heartdwellers in Mother Clare’s intercessory group] that soon this spiritual warfare would end, and I needed to endure a little. And so it was after two days had passed. I did not hear the enemy, but only the Lord, Who spoke to me that I should no longer listen to the enemy, who is trying to tear me away from my ministry.
The Lord understood how hard it was to deal with this, and He said that He wept with me when I wept in these sufferings.
Guys, this will be a good lesson for all of us!
Blessings to you all, dear Heartdwellers, we love you all! Please pray for us as we pray for you.
Link to the text of the litany of humility:
Image: The Adversary by Steve Goad
Link to the artist’s website: https://www.stevegoadart.com
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