Hello, Brothers and Sisters and Heartdwellers family.
May we all be given the grace to fight and preserver in the battle.
So I have been preparing for this trip and many things are unfolding. The Lord has given some beautiful promises and words as to what is to be expected on this mission. However, I found myself waking up with many thoughts on my mind and doubts. I went to use Bible Promises to discern if what I was hearing was from the
Lord and I got affirming reading in Bible Promises to all the fears I had. I was utterly despondent, insecure now, and unsure of what the Lord had spoken to me. The readings send me down a spiral of sadness and sorrow with uncertainty.
The following morning, I woke up full of anxiety again and I just couldn’t find my peace. This trial was so intense, and I just needed to be with the Lord somewhere in the woods to cry it out and I wasn’t sure what else to do. I didn’t know what to believe or where to turn. When my discernment is off it can be difficult, so I wasn’t sure if the readings were off, or if something entered into the messages because I was too attached.
I then pulled Rhemas.
The first said,
“When the soul does the will of the Most High God, even admit constant pain, torments. Having pressed its lips to the chalice. It becomes mighty and nothing will daunt it. Though tortured, it repeats Your will be done…for though, in the deepest darkness, it hears the voice of Jesus “You are Mine.”
Oh, how I felt that Rhema, to the T.
The second said,
“Praise, Praise, Praise, and on the back, Praise loud enough to drown out the enemy’s lies!”
So that gave me some light that maybe my readings and confirmation of my fears were from the enemy and not from the Lord.
The other said,
“Focus! If we do not choose to mortify our passions. We may live in fear and doubt everything. Focus, deny yourself what is not necessary.”
So, I went into the woods to pray, worship, and cry it out before the Lord. Weariness was hitting me again and all the songs the Lord played were so encouraging and all about fighting, standing on Him and not giving up. One of the title of the songs He played was Fight on Fighter.
After an amazing time in worship which lifted me up and gave me courage to believe. Maybe I had a sucker punch! This was a real good hard one and Jesus has taught us a sucker punch is from the enemy. When we get an off reading, Rhema or thought and sends us into a downward spiral of depression, confusion, and condemnation, we can be rest assured that is the fingerprints of the enemy, and I didn’t even catch it, until now.
I began to hear Jesus speak to my heart, so I began writing, having confidence that I was hearing from Him and not a lying spirit.
So I began:
I am so sorry for allowing my doubts and fears to consume me. Lord, it’s been a tremendous suffering in my heart I think only you can truly understand. Please, give me the grace to fight this, overcome it, and trust you, Lord.
“My beloved, breathe! Everything will be alright. You have consented to the cup, the chalice that has been handed to you and you indeed are Mine. Your every, yes, your every trial and sufferings draw you nearer to Me, Beloved. Thank you for saying yes amidts the pain and suffering, the confusion and heaviness you are under. It is all being used for the greater good beloved. Indeed, I stand not a far off and laugh at your enemies wondering ‘will they ever get it?’ That the more they attack My servants, My chosen ones, the greater the grace and anointed they receive to not only combat the darkness, but they triumph over them, over and over again. But they will never learn because they are blinded by pride, just like their father whom they serve.
Pray My beloved one, you have lost sight of what I had asked you in the beginning of all of this. I am allowing this suffering for your purification, and the salvation and conversion of your enemies. Do not be moved, Beloved! cling to My words that I have given you. No longer put your expectations on Derrick or even on this trip, but on Me, Beloved, on Me! and the words I have given to you.
You will not be disappointed, but they will try their best to cause you to fear and doubt what I have said which causes you greater anxiety, thereby losing your faith and being distracted by the pain in your heart and the pains of the past and future scenarios of pain that is presented to you. They are all lies! You can trust My words to you!”
But Lord when I went to the Bible Promises it confirmed all my fears. Jesus continued,
“My beloved one, when you have high anxiety like you did yesterday and you are in a panic, you can be rest assured any discernment you seek in that state you cannot trust. Trust My words to you. Period. Declare those things given to you by Me and My Mother by faith. It will be quite glorious what will take place there, and that I why the fight will continue to be so intense. Your best weapon is praise and prayer. Stay in that posture, beloved one, and I will do what I have spoken and every word spoken from your mouth will not return void. Trust Me! I am fighting with you, for you, and alongside you! You are not alone in this.
“It’s time to break down the walls of fear, unbelief, and doubt once and for all beloved little one, and say, no more!”
Okay, Jesus thank you. Now, Lord… is it your will for brother to come with me? I am beyond surprised and perplexed.
So as an aside guys, the Lord is full of surprises and threw a big one this time. One of the brothers in the community—after finding out about the trip and the dynamic of Derrick and I— thought that I needed a lot of protection in my going there. So, he wanted to carry this trip in his heart and just cover us. However, in Adoration the Lord spoke to him that he wanted him to accompany me on this trip. When he told me I laughed it off thinking, “No way, this can’t be the Lord!” as I was thinking this trip would be more of bonding for Derrick and I and didn’t see how that could fit in. However, as the Lord and Blessed Mother began to reveal more about this trip, I see now it’s a mission! So, I never discerned what he felt was from the Lord until three days later in prayer, the Lord brought him up and I discerned and got good reading. I was flabbergasted! I then told him about it and we both decided to submit this to Mother Clare and I told him I would seek the Lord about this possibility, so I asked the Lord.
“Yes, Beloved, I am full of surprises! Good ones! Trust Me! He will be needed, a great consolation will he be to you and more so to Derrick. There is something I have placed within your bother that Derrick will need. At first, his coming won’t be received with such acceptance, but do not worry I am making a way now and even room now for him to fit in the purpose and mission I have for you both as you are going.
There is always a bigger picture, Beloved, always. I am just using little weak ones such as you and Derrick to do it. This trip will establish a seed not only generationally, but eternally in Sierra Leone and what I want to do there and I will use you all to do it. More vision will be given to you at a later time. For now, prepare your heart with gratitude for what I am about to do there. I will leave you three in wonder and awe!
Derrick will find a companion and a true friend in your brother in a way that hasn’t been able to go deep with someone before. It will actually put his mind at ease to come to the mountain and being a part of the community. All of these details I am working and rearranging. There will be a sense of responsibility and accountability having your brother there. You will see. Do not worry!
It’s good for you to have all priests offer the Lord’s Supper daily for these intentions, this trip, and this nation that has been riddled with so much enslavement of many kinds. They are a beautiful group of people oppressed with darkness, corruption, and the pain of inferiority. Many there feel like they don’t matter, that I don’t see them, that I have abandoned them long ago, so they resort to witchcraft or pleasures that pass their time. But I want them to know Me, see Me and experience My Love and they will through you all by every smile, tender touch, show of compassion, your generosity, and by your prayers. Not coming as missionaries who ‘know’, have the answers, or to teach them about God. No, beloved one! But to serve, to love, and come down to their level of suffering and pain which you can so relate in various ways, that is how they will be moved and healed.
Continuously pray for Derrick’s heart and mind. What you don’t realize, the same attacks and assignments you are under, are also given to him. There is much confusion, fear, and insecurity swarming all around him. You both are under attack, and just as he mentioned he is finding it difficult to rise up to pray, so you must cover him. That is why I cannot have you wallowing in self-pity, under such duress of doubt that you no longer pray.
Beloved, once and for all your prayers are working! Your prayers are powerful, and it is changing things! Do not believe Satan’s lies anymore. They are terrified when you and the others pray, that is why they are so adamant to bring assignment of doubts and insecurities which undermine your faith and stop you from praying. Keep praying anyway, don’t give up! I am here to cheer you on, you are doing so well!”
Lord, but I feel like I am walking under a cloud of molasses so deep the sighing and longing of my heart for You and the heaviness of this suffering,
“And I have come to you, Beloved. I am here to encourage you and the others. Everyone is getting hit right now because of where I am taking this group, our beloved children. My brides, don’t give up! I know you are tired, and I know it feels like your prayer are bouncing off the walls into nothingness. Do not believe the enemy’s lies! Praise will be your antidote to pull you back in the fight and cause the enemy to flee. I sit enthroned above the circle of the earth laughing at all your enemies.
They have no idea they are helping Me to mold you into the fortress you will become unswayed by instigations, suggestions, and lies from the darkness, but rather you pierce it with your light of love for Me, the light of great trust in My faithfulness, the light of resilience and courageous perseverance standing for My honor and standing on My word. My Bride is so very beautiful on the battlefield! And although it seems like the enemy is advancing and the onslaught of attacks are relentless, you are growing in great faith and fortitude in Me. Do not be moved My brides, do not give up! Fight on, My beautiful fighter! You will have the victory!”
That was the end of Jesus’ message.
Thank you so much family for your prayers for us! We so desperately need it! I’m excited to be alongside you on this journey to see what the Lord does in Sierra Leone!
God bless you until the next message!