Hello, Brothers, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family. This message is very candid. It actually is the first part of the message that I will share with you tomorrow. The Lord is so good to always address the issues of my heart first before he gives me a message because if my heart is aching nothing will get past that. That is how good of a spouse and friend Jesus is—truly he is so wonderful and amazing to always bring me peace in the midst of the storm.
I was a little surprised the Lord wanted me to share this on the channel. He has been giving me personal messages concerning Derrick’s [and my] journey for the book, Marriage for the Purpose of Eternity, that he has me now compiling and putting together as I candidly share the fullness of all the trials the Lord has had me endure with him. So I am excited to share that in the future with you guys once it’s completed. But as you see the Lord is still writing our story.
The Lord has been faithful in drawing Derrick and [me] closer in our friendship and affection for one another — little by little, but it hasn’t been easy, and many times an intense and fierce uphill battle.
The enemy had been pelting me with so many thoughts and I was just feeling exhausted and wanting to give up again as I kept asking Jesus, are you sure you want me to get married? I know guys, I am a hot mess — and the Lord has me share all of this with you.
I then had a dream a few nights ago where I was with the elders of my family on my mom and dad’s side. I was being escorted into a room hurriedly in preparation for my wedding. My mom was so excited, behind me with my aunt, the one I shared with you guys [who] has unfortunately been doing witchcraft against my marriage with Derrick. In the dream, she waved, and I thought she had waved at me, so I waved back excitedly, and very coldly, she said to me, “I wasn’t greeting you” — although she was walking behind me to escort me. I was cut to the heart, and it hurt but then I shrugged it off. As we walked by this shelf I noticed Jesus was there under the guise of the Holy Eucharist in a monstrance, exposed. So I broke away from the crowd thinking I wanted to cover him, then I thought no, I want him to be exposed and be a part of this celebration. Then I woke up.
In many of the dreams [that] my aunt is in, she is very cold and mean towards me and we once had such a close relationship. I felt the Lord was showing me breakthrough was close and she would even witness it but there was still a hindrance, now where she was fighting against us, and I need to keep praying.
Then Sunday I got the Rhema that had a picture of a person in a habit with a sword in their right hand and a torch in their left hand surrounded by a vast dark army and it said;
“You cannot lose if you do not retreat — no matter how dark it gets.” (Then on the back, it said) “I can encourage you that several times in My life I was surrounded like this. Do not be discouraged by how dark it becomes or how many rise up against you.”
You see two weeks ago during worship we all received crowns from Jesus which always means a fiery trial and boy was that trial one of the hardest that I had to endure with Derrick — the fire was hot. Then on Sunday again I received another crown, this time the Lord gave me a cloak of Christ to put over my armor. It was clear and became invisible when He put it on me besides a golden broach over my heart that held it together and He said, “This will guard your heart.”
I was so discouraged thinking Lord please not again I can’t do this. I knew the Rhema and the crown were about Derrick and the promise of marriage again. I have been so very weary in this battle that seems as though we get so close for another mountain to immediately rise up against us every time. I have been tempted to give up more times than I can count.
So I told myself I would carry this cross this time with a little more grace, but I was struggling, and my heart was hurting pretty bad as I tried to endure through it and do my prayers and the Lord’s Supper. Before I could even get halfway through the Lord’s Supper, Jesus interrupted me and began speaking. Rather than addressing the vision I had experienced in worship, which I will share with you in the next message, He rather addressed the pain in my heart first.
Good morning Lord, I ask you to please forgive me, I am not carrying this cross or crown very well. Please help me, Lord.
“I know, Beloved, the pain is distracting, that’s why I prefer to speak to you now so you can really be available to Me.”
I am so sorry, Lord, I have been consumed in my pain and hopelessness.
“You are surrounded, Beloved, by many enemies, but the battle has been won. Pray fervently for your aunt, she too is at the threshold and is resisting the grace that desires to come to her, to turn from wickedness and whole heartedly back to Me. My blessing of marriage is soon upon you, but this won’t be given to you without a fight, Beloved. Pray for her fervently in the upcoming days and weeks because that is where the majority of the fight and assignments you and Derrick have, are coming from.”
But Lord, why I don’t understand this?
“Don’t take it personally, Beloved, it’s not at all personal. The kingdom of darkness is about power, and territory and she has been shown the power you will be given when you two come together. The damage that will be done in the kingdom of darkness and the glory upon you two and this marriage that will bring all that she desires to shambles. You are an obstacle in the way of what she most desires, honor, power, respect, and the throne back in your family.”
As an aside I come from a tribal royal family in Ghana and the throne is a golden stool from the Ashanti tribe that is given to a king or queen to have dominion over a certain region. My family use to possess that stool but it has been taken away from them and they are now fighting to try to get it back, but it’s all at the cost of witchcraft.
“I won’t allow it because that will bring your entire family and especially this generation to ruin. I will use you as an instrument to wake many in your family up from witchcraft and serving two masters. Many will break free from traditionalism, speaking to the dead and honoring what is evil, because of you, because of your union with Derrick. You need him, Beloved, don’t allow the devils to continue to put thoughts in your mind of another or that he is not necessary to your call or destiny. You need him very much and I need him as well. I am hurting with you, yet as God, very excited and hopeful in anticipation of what is ahead of you that you cannot see.”
Thank you, Lord, for your patience with me. Please guard my heart — when we communicate and things go well it’s wonderful, but I find myself crashing so hard when he falls or distance himself the pain is tormenting. I no longer want my love to be controlled by his actions or in actions. I have struggled with that since day one.
“You have struggled with that since being human, Beloved, and that is why I am purifying your love, you have done that with everyone. Human love is so fickle it only able to love when its being loved back, but when that love of another becomes cold you recoil, you brood, you grow resentful even bitter and you rather remove yourself from that relationship than preserving in Love, My kind of love which doesn’t retreat, doesn’t give up is patient and make no record of wrongs.”
Lord, I understand that, but man it’s so hard.
“Yes, I know it’s difficult, but I have given you the grace and you are going through that now. So your love can be conformed and transformed into My type of love, this is the process. You see even now I am answering your prayers to love like Me.“
Yes Lord you have been faithful to answer each one. Please just help me, I don’t want to love my way anymore, it’s a roll coaster ride. I want to stay in your love at all times not so easily moved by others but only by you. I know that type of love will hurt, but I know it will be steady and constant. I no longer want roller coaster emotions because my love is misplaced. Please help me Lord.
“Yes, Beloved, you are receiving the grace even now. Do not worry there is hope ahead, Beloved. I know you have pondered, what I am doing and how I will do this, but I will surprise you. Just know Derrick will be changed before he comes to the mountain. Have peace that you will see a major breakthrough before he arrives and once he gets there, then full transformation will take place.
“It will be so wonderful, beautiful for all and many tears of joy will be cried not just by you, but by others because so many others around you have invested their heart, their prayers, and tears in your union. You didn’t fight this battle alone as you have thought so many times. No, Beloved, there are some you do not even know of, Heartdwellers I have prompted to pray for you and your marriage who have carried you in their heart. This will be a celebration for all, and all of heaven as well. Remember the angels rejoice when one sinner returns back to Me, especially a long- lost prodigal son who has been fighting with himself and a soul the devil badly wanted and has lost once and for all. This struggle began at his birth, and this will be a major victory for us.
“Derrick is a very special soul, all souls are, but he is unique because his call is very unique and very instrumental in this generation. You haven’t realized that, but all things will unfold before you soon enough on this journey as you walk alongside Me. You will realize why it was so necessary to fight alongside Me, love alongside Me — this very precious and special soul that I have entrusted and will give to you as your spouse.
“That’s why I always encourage you to thank Me. Your life will be full of thanksgiving because of him, so many will thank Me because of him. Only in heaven will you see the magnificent and elaborate thread of tapestry that you are living out in your life and how good I am. So thank Me now, Beloved, praise Me in the storm and be enduring through every trial. Praise is your weapon.”
And that was the end of Jesus’ message.
Thank you, Lord, for such kind words and promises. Please help me to hold onto these words and stay in your peace. Satan get out of my head in Jesus name! Thank you, Lord, for my life, thank you for the crosses and roads you have called me to walk, thank you for your patience and grace and thank you for Derrick and this marriage, Lord. Thank you so much for all that you are doing and thank you for giving me strength to endure.
I believe the Lord had me share this so you all can continue to please pray for him, for us. Your prayers always do wonders as you have been a part of our story. And this is also to encourage those who have been going through a battle of faith with a promise to trust the Lord and preserver. When one suffers we all suffer so I can imagine there is someone on this channel [who] needed to hear this, to be encouraged in their situation. We are all in this together.
God bless you guys until the next message.