Hello, Brothers, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family.
The Lord nailed me this Sunday during our community worship service. We each pull three Rhemas or more from Mother Claire’s card file and then we go around and share what the Lord has given us. This gives us an opportunity to pray for one another and also reveals what is going in our hearts. My cards are almost always loving gentle corrections and many times I have despised having my sins so readily exposed if, I can be honest. They have a saying in the community that the Lord is so hard on me.
However, after watching a new movie about St. Francis that, was a modernized version, I was so moved and inspired to yet again to renew my vows and fall in love with my vocation as a Franciscan sister. The following morning I was moved to tears with such contrition as the Lord had been playing songs this past week of surrendering to His will. I told Him I didn’t want to fear any more humiliations. I was just tired of resisting Him and He could have His way in me.
I also was struggling with a soul here in the community and noticed more and more that they would always contend with me before everyone. I was finding it frustrating and not wanting to be around them. I knew I had to address this. I wanted to seek the Lord first about what I was sensing — that this soul maybe had a contentious spirit, I just wasn’t sure. The Lord outed me on all of that before everyone with my Rhema cards. Not only that, during that whole day I was so contentious with Mother Clare before everyone, three different times. The third time I found myself thinking, what are you doing? why is this coming up out of your heart? — as I realized the very same issue I was frustrated with in this soul is the same issue I still had. My sins were exposed and when I left Mother Claire’s I felt so ashamed for my behavior and was truly humiliated by the Rhemas the Lord gave me. I realized He answered my prayer, and I was humbled.
When I got home that evening Jesus made it clear that He wanted to speak to me.
So I began, Oh Lord where do I start? I’m such a hot mess. Not only have you exposed my hidden sins, but I still kept falling into sin afterward and the very things that I was frustrated about in this particular soul you have exposed in Me. Wow, I am so humbled Lord. It has to be frustrating at times for Mother Claire. Oh Lord please give me the grace of more humility. And I ask you to please, truly, forgive me of my sins of judging another and of my contending and prideful attitude today.
Jesus, I know you have much to say concerning this.
“Yes beloved little one, I do. What did you expect when you began to pray the Litany of humility? You cried out to Me this morning asking for the grace to want My will above all else and for you to stop resisting Me.
“My will is to see you humble, so very humble —so little that you are forgotten by all, easily trampled under because there is nothing about you that sticks out — and I mean that quite literally. You have been viewing others and your brothers, seeing the speck in their eye, not realizing you had a huge plank in yours. Thank Me for this grace for it is My mercy that has come to you to reveal all of these hidden sins and expose them — and more is on the way, Beloved.
“I love you so dearly and I do not want you to forfeit the glory I have destined for you, for the fires of purgatory, and for a life that is half lived for Me and half lived for yourself. I want you to die, already, to your opinions, your preferences and your judgments and opinions towards others. This purifying fire is so very good for you and will be continuous, Beloved, even as you make it until the end.
“You will continue to be tested, tried, and purified in this way, Beloved, but I do love how sincere you were this morning. You haven’t been so for a long time, Beloved, and that was the grace of contrition coming to you. The Saints in Heaven have obtained that for you because they know the desire of your heart is to love like Me, to be transformed into My likeness in every way in this life, and that is My will for you. That prayer I will answer, and I am answering even now.“
So here Jesus begins to address the first Rhema, and it said;
“A lying mouth slays the soul, a stealthy mouth does not go unpunished.”
I am a hot mess, guys. I got this card and for sure I knew it wasn’t about me. Me having a lying mouth and stealthy? I didn’t even know what that meant.
Immediately someone came to my mind, so I went to Bible Promises to discern if this card was about them. I got a no. Then I asked if It was about me — I got “Joy”. I was in shock as I thought how, Lord. Then it hit me this soul I had an issue with had been sensing that I was acting distant and always asking if I was okay and I would tell them, yes but I really wasn’t and thought I was making the right decision in taking my time to speak to them, but I was lying.
And Jesus responded,
“I am wanting you to get rid of your pretentious ways of using crafty words before you speak.”
But Lord I thought it was good to be cautious before one speaks. You know — think before I say something.
“Yes, Beloved, but there is all the difference between discretion and pretension.”
So I looked up [the] definitions of both words.
Discretion: is the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way to avoid causing offense or revealing private information.
Pretension: the use of affection to impress; ostentatiousness, hypocrisy, show, affectedness.
As I was reading I thought, Lord, I am not pretentious — like I can tell Jesus what I am and what I am not.
Lord, please help me to see that in me.
Jesus then said,
“Did you not dwell on what you were going to say and how you were going to share your story when you pulled the Rhemas? You were looking for others to admire you for confessing your sins and seeing the heroism in them and what I am doing in your heart. However, you were sorely disappointed when Mother Claire pointed out another fault of yours before everyone and that pat on the back you were looking for or the affectedness to move those in the room didn’t work. Rather you were humiliated again.”
I was dumbfounded when He said that. Oh my gosh! He was so right—how pretentious I was in sharing my Rhema cards.
Oh boy, when I looked up the meaning of the second half of the Rhema card, stealthy meant; behaving, done, or made in a cautious and superstitious manner, so as not to be seen or heard.
Again I struggled to see that in myself. Then I remembered just that morning the Lord had put it on my heart to make breakfast for everyone in the commons. Initially, the day before I told everyone, and I wanted to do it but when I woke up in the morning I didn’t. I just rather wanted to tuck away with the Lord and pray. So I went to the Bible Promises and He confirmed that He wanted me to do breakfast instead. I found myself contemplating in my mind, a way to make it where no one would see me or talk to me. I just wanted to sneak in cook the breakfast and sneak back out. So much so, I thought of bringing the pot to my hermitage and cooking it here instead and dropping it off at the commons where everyone was before anyone woke up. I knew that was my flesh speaking so I decided to go there and cook it.
However, I tried to do it as quietly as possible so as to not be heard—but it was too late when one of the newest members saw me and excitedly wanted to talk with me. Now I see where the stealth was. So I shared this with the group and explained all my Rhemas in hopes that they would admire me for my transparency and honesty to share my sins (guys, I am a mess). However, it backfired when Mother Clare then mentioned my issues with materialism, which Jesus will address concerning the “Life from Light” event and how I went overboard. That wasn’t on my mind, nor did I think it was what the Lord was addressing but it took away from what I said, and rather than being admired, I was humiliated again as others agreed [with] how we can all go overboard in spending or getting items that were not necessary.
I felt so “crunchy” as the saying goes. Boy, am I a mess. And when I got home the Lord revealed that I was being pretentious about it. My goodness one sin after the other. He was truly exposing the deepest hidden motives of my heart and it is terrible.
Dang Lord, you are so right. It’s rather so sad and how pathetic I am.
“That you are, Beloved. You are My little weak one and how I love you so. Your misery rather draws me even near to you. Come here, rest your head on My heart and hear My love.”
Just then I saw Jesus with the wounds in His hands and a white tunic with His arms wide open walking towards me to embrace Me. He then pulled me close and put my head on His heart as he hugged me. I stopped writing for a moment as I listened to His heartbeat, His love for me which brought me great peace and acceptance even in the midst of my failures. Jesus is tender, such an amazing God and friend.
I am so sorry, Lord.
“You are forgiven, My beloved one. What is truly pathetic is when you try to teach others the very thing that you are not doing or find faults with others in the very thing that you are struggling with. Now that is a pathetic sight and so common among leaders and teachers. Remember, I did say, that teachers would be judged more strictly and that not all should be teachers. [James 3:1] but you are My perfect example to all. You have been anointed and appointed to teach—about your weakness, your failures, your faults, and My great mercy towards you — that others may find solace in My mercy and confidence — not in their ability, but in the fact that I chose them despite their weakness.”
Then I got another Rhema that said;
“They will throw their silver in the streets. Let me not be called the Mother of pagans, your materialism & preoccupations with worldly learning is the very fuel for the fires of purgation. Shed these filthy garments now” On the back of the card it had a pile of money thrown on the floor with me being held by Jesus next to the cross.
This Rhema hit home because after watching the St. Francis movie I began to look around and think [about] what could I get rid of. I didn’t have as much compared to everyone in the community, but I had more than the Lord wanted me to. I didn’t connect with the world learning because I don’t listen to or read any books from the world, but I knew he was talking about things I needed to get rid of.
“Now concerning your materialism I want you to be truly an example to all, beloved little one. I would like that you would have only two habits, two pairs of pants, two socks, a garment to sleep in, and that is it. Concerning the books you have, just like My Little flower”…
And here He is talking about St. Therese.
“…make any excess books that are not used for your daily Rhema readings available to the community, put those on the shelf. Also, give the excess markers and pens to the community as well. You have two pairs of shoes that will do. I want you to do your best in imitating that of Lady poverty.”
Which is one of the main vows we take as Franciscan, voluntarily evangelical poverty.
“Give any additional bags you have away as well. One is enough.”
Guys at this point I was thinking — this is a lying spirit— Lord help me. So I thought it best to submit this to my covering as I said, Lord should I submit these changes to Mother Clare as well?
“Yes, Beloved, she will adhere to them because she too knows I am calling you much higher.”
Just like Jesus said, I submitted it to Mother Clare and she said that was fine that is how we should be which confirmed the message.
Yes, Lord. Is there anything else Jesus?
“And most importantly poverty of spirit. You were right to think I would like for you to practice having no opinion this week. Not over your superior’s instructions and even over the souls who I have brought to you to lead. No opinion of how they should do things or shouldn’t do things. Rather allow Me to bring conviction. You just teach, Beloved, and preach without using words, don’t you see what I am doing?
Yes Lord this is exactly what I prayed for and was inspired to do and live like. Just so you guys know one of the most famous sayings of St. Francis of Assis which I love is when he told his brothers. “ Preach and when necessary use words”. So powerful let your life preach the gospel and that is the cry of my heart. Lord help me.
“Well it begins here and now. Be generous in your giving and modest in your eating too. You are on the right track now in so many ways.”
The third Rhema I got said;
“Pride strengthens the action of the imagination whereas humility suspends it. Pride bristles with strength-desires to create its own world. Humility is quick to receive life from God.”
Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. He then revealed this was surprisingly about Derrick, that in my pride I had put expectations on him that he couldn’t fulfill which had caused me to imagine, daydream and create my own world of how things should be rather than submitting to the way things are and humbling myself to let go of all expectations and allowing the Lord to move as He wills — and use me in his life as He wills. Boy, the Lord hit me right between the eyes with each card.
“My beloved little ones, if you think I am being too hard on this little one it is because of the grace she has been given. So much grace has been given to her to overcome these faults and weaknesses and live a more austere life, that I am calling her to. My brides, this will be a week of illumination and repentance for you all. I will expose hidden motives, hidden faults, and sins that have been blind spots stopping you from becoming all I have called you to be.
“I do this become I love you so tenderly and have great plans for each of you. I am not calling you to this steep of a climb just yet for this is her vocation. But I am calling each of you, My brides, to give much more of yourself, much, much more. All I will ask of you, I will supply the grace for you to do it if you would but only corporate. The more you give Me of your will the more of myself you will get and that is why I unite myself so intimately with this little one because My will has become her food and she desires it more than anything else.
“Ask Me for this, My brides. Ask Me for the grace to desire My will alone and to not desire anything and everything that is outside of My will for you. Ask Me to make you willing to be made willing and I will do marvelous things in your life and through your life with this level of surrender. Ask and you shall receive. I am coming to illuminate the paths of all My brides and bring you grace and clarity to walk the very narrow road that I have called you to.”
That was the end of Jesus’ message.
I encourage those who are new to the channel to check out our Rhema page. A Rhema is a Holy Spirit anointed word from God. It can be a word you hear in prayer, prophecy, scripture vision or dream, or even a bumper sticker—something that pops out to you, and you know God is answering your prayer or directing the deepest thoughts in your heart. The Lord has taught us to seek Him by getting three Rhemas each day asking what is on His heart that He may lead and guide us. Also if you have a question for Him ask Him and then get three Rhemas and you will see how on point it is concerning your situation. God wants to speak to you, and this is one of the means of how He does it. The Rhema page link is below. May you all be given the grace to embrace the truth of who we truly are in God’s mirror, turn from our sins and further accept His merciful love for us.
God bless you family, until the next message.
The Litany of Humility
O Jesus! Meek and humble of heart, hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus. (repeat after each line)
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled…
From the desire of being honored…
From the desire of being praised…
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted…
From the desire of being approved…
From the fear of being humiliated…
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes…
From the fear of being calumniated…
From the fear of being forgotten…
From the fear of being ridiculed…
From the fear of being wronged…
From the fear of being suspected…
That other may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. (repeat after each line)
That other may be esteemed more than I…
That, in the opinion of the world…
others may increase and I may decrease…
That other may be chosen and I set aside…
That other may be praised and I unnoticed…
That other may be preferred to me in everything…
That other may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…