Hello Family, this is Geryl. I hope that you have been enjoying this series on — If You Only Knew.
I had been having difficulty finding something to talk about for this series. Not because I didn’t have anything noteworthy to ever happened in my life —but rather because, as the years have passed, what I had always taken to be individual events, I am now beginning to see as parts of a very large — inter-connected — patchwork quilt. As such, I have found it difficult to talk about one event without connecting it to many others, and — we really don’t have time for all of that [smile].
In the past whenever I have set out to find a subject to write or talk about regarding the Lord and what he has done in my life, He has always directed me back to my journals. I began journaling many years ago as (supposedly) as a daily conversation with the Lord. Although, my conversations tend to be more like monologs as they are pretty much one-way… I talk, He listens. In any case, He has taken me to a specific journal and specific entry that had exactly what I needed. This time as I waited for His inspiration pointing me towards that One —journal entry — I waited, I tried and got nothing. I finally pulled out a large stack of journals (since I complete one every few months, I have many) and I began going through them looking for something that I could use. I was amazed at how many things I had written about that I had completely forgotten. But I came across two that I thought would be perfect. I had a few other assignments to complete first—and had planned to come back to them. —A few days later, I was ready. Only, I had read so many journals by then that I could not find the ones that I thought were perfect. Frustrated, I put everything down, closed my eyes, and said, “Lord, what is it that YOU want me to talk about? This is about Your faithfulness — what do YOU want me to tell them??” A few minutes later I sat up and looked at my stack of journals. One stood out—but based on the date range,—I didn’t think that one would have anything significant. But I still felt the draw, so I picked it up and opened it to a random page—in the middle. You guessed it — it opened to one of the two entries that I had picked out several days prior.
At that time I had graduated from Charis Bible School — and had agreed to help a fellow graduate with her vision to start a Healing Service at the school that met once each month on Friday evenings. So, here it is, my journal entry.
Tuesday, April 23, 2018
5:45 AM
Good morning Dearest Father. I love you with all of my heart and soul. But my deepest love for You could not come close to Your love for me. I know beyond a doubt that no matter what comes my way, nothing is a surprise to You and that “ You have already made provision (as in “pro-vision”).
On Friday night — at Healing Service,—I once again told some of the ladies about how I got to Charis. I told about seeing 12:34 several times, several days in a row. I told about how I mentioned to Yvonne that I believed You were— ordering my steps and how she said that it was as if You were only giving me one step at a time. I remember thinking, “That has to be Holy Spirit” — I was certain that I was hearing Your voice through her. At that point, I decided to go ahead and enroll in the school, but I also said, “Lord, I have no idea why I am going to Bible School, and I have no idea where I will get the funds. Please, Lord, make this my “place called there” [taken from 1Kings 17].
I went on to tell them that in Andrew’s opening, pre-recorded message to the students he said, “Most of you don’t know why you are here.” I thought, well, that would be me. He then said, “But, you have already done more than most, you have taken the first step”. Whoa, he said “step”, that got my attention. He continued, “But God is only going to give you one step at a time…” (Now— wait a minute, that is what Yvonne said…) Andrew went on, “The Lord will only give you one step at a time because if he gave you all that he has planned, you would probably never go. But, have no fear… This Is Your Place Called There.” Well, you could have picked me up off the floor. Andrew’s message completely confirmed that You had, in fact, led me as it spoke to every point that led me to Charis.
Well, Lord, I still feel you leading and guiding me. Sometimes I feel as though— I am very slow. But — I always feel as though You are right here, just like a doting Father, proud of every step — picking me up and dusting me off any time I fall. Children don’t always say thank you when their father picks them up as they fall. They may cry, they may laugh, and they may give hugs and kisses — but they know that their father always has a protective eye out for their safety.
Thank You, Father, for loving me beyond measure!
Ever since Friday I have been meaning to tell You about my Awesome Father!!
We had Healing Night. It was Good Friday and Jessica had planned to give a message and have Communion. I really didn’t remember that her message was to be on Communion.
She asked Florencia to sing (it was beautiful as always). Jeanette volunteered to talk about the offering that goes towards supporting the mission trip — she talk a bit about her mission trip and prayed over the offering.
I was asked to do a transition prayer, the welcome message, and announcements. I had been trying to avoid too much planning regarding the prayer and allowing Holy Spirit to guide me (I always feel as though I can hear You until I get in front of a bunch of people and then I stumble…).
At about 4:00 pm on Friday, I “stumbled” across a story about a Passover Miracle. It was about a group of Ugandan Jews under Idi Amin’s persecutions in the 1970’s. I told about how Jews (and Christians) were persecuted and forced to renounce Judaism. Only 300 of the original 3000 [Ugandan Jews] stood fast until they were saved just at Passover. It was as if they were experiencing a modern-day Exodus. I related this story to us — by saying that we often talk about how the Bible warns of coming persecutions of Christians, but Christians and Jews are already being persecuted for their faith every day. But we know —that no matter what trials, tribulations or persecutions come our way, — Jesus suffered more. He has already overcome the world. I thanked You, Father, that even while we were sinners, You sent Your Son to die for us. And [while] on the Cross, the temple veil was torn from top to bottom, forever removing all barriers between The Father and His children.
Well, I thought I saw confused faces and, as usual, I wondered whether or not I had gotten my message across. Then, as Jessica began to give her message on Communion, it occurred to me that the Jews didn’t believe in Christ. Is that why I saw confused looks on their faces? Then Jessica’s message pulled it all together. She talked about the first Passover, the unblemished lamb, the blood on the doorposts and the eating of the lamb. She brought it forward to the sacrifice of The Lamb of God.
I couldn’t believe it! Once again, You coordinated what I said with what Jessica said. Neither of us knew anything about what the other was going to talk about. I had found my message only a few hours before the meeting. I think if I had found it earlier and had time to think about it, I really believe I would have talked myself out of using it.
To top it off, after the service, Jessica asked me for a copy of the message. She told me that she had to leave the room a couple of times during my talk but each time she came back she heard how the Passover Miracle story tied directly in to what she was going to talk about. She said that smiled, point up to You and said, “You’re funny!” So Awesome, Lord, thank you for loving us in this way!
After Jessica delivered her message, we had minsters pray for all who wanted prayer.
There was a woman visitor whom I thought I had recognized from before but didn’t remember her name — until she started walking towards me for prayer. I said,
“You are Emily, right?” She responded , “Good memory!” I answered, “Holy Spirit!”
Then I told her that I knew she had been seeing improvement in her cancer and asked how she was doing? She said that she also need prayer for her hearing
She said that [her hearing in] one ear was limited, and in the other it was almost nil. She said something about being called to a trip or some assignment by You. I was stopped by her use of…. “I am afraid….” Something about not being able to do what she was called to do. Then she began naming all of the people in her family who had suffered hearing loss.
I said, first of all, we are cancelling all generational curses. No more talk about all of the family with hearing loss. Secondly, I said —that she would fulfill every purpose that You have for her life. She made some reference to dying — not sure what she said. But my response to that was, “If He calls you home, then you will go home. But until then you will fulfill every purpose. His word will not go out and return void [taken from Isaiah 55:11]. He [also] said, “Those who have ears, let them hear”, in Jesus’ Name. I spoke other words over her like, “His words are health to all your flesh.” And then She was struck by the Spirit as I prayed.
Father, I believe that You have begun a good work in her and that You will complete it, according to Your Word. I pray that You continue to help me to convey Your messages to those whom You put before me. I pray that You will open my spiritual ears to hear You better. Father, I’m looking for signs and wonders; I’m looking for a great awakening, a great revival, in the Holy Name of Jesus.
A woman from Delaware, Maureen, came for prayer as well. She came to visit her children for Easter. She heard about our Healing Night and came down. How Wonderful! [it was more than a 2-hour drive]. She said that listens to Joseph Prince and takes Communion every day. Father, I stand with Maureen for complete healing in every area of her body. It seems that the enemy sends one attack after another, and she continues to stand. She had little boils all over her body and was told they might be cancerous. She spoke against those and listened to healing scriptures all the time.
Father, I thank you that You love Maureen and want her well. I pray that the resurrecting power of the blood of Jesus courses through her veins, cleansing her of all inequities and healing her of all diseases
Father, You said to ask You for the impossible today. Father, there is NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE with You. ALL things ARE possible. I pray that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. I pray that when we have done all that we can to stand, we STAND!!! You have promised never to leave nor forsake us, You said Your Words are life unto all of our flesh. You said to say to the mountain, “Be thou removed.” If we believe in our hearts, it will be removed . Father, please help our unbelief!
Through the stripes and the blood of Jesus, All Things are Made New. Thank you that what You do allow, we will conquer with Your grace — Your grace IS sufficient.
Lord, we stand firmly on the Rock,
thank you for pulling us from the mirey pit.
Thank You for Your Promises the endure for eternity
Thank you for Your grace
Thank you for Your mercy
Thank you for Your favor
Thank You for Your Love that knows no bounds
Thank You Father
Thank you Jesus,
Thank you Holy Spirit!
Amen!
That was the end of my journal entry for that day. While I don’t typically have the back-and-forth conversations with Jesus as many others have —even though my conversations tend to be one-way, monologs —he does manage to get answers to me in other ways. I am always amazed at what I find when I go back through my journals. I always find that He has been ever faithful, always —The One In Whom I Can Trust…If we only knew……
—Geryl
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