Hello Heart dwellers. The following is a time in Heaven I had over the course of two months. This was around the time that the Lord first introduced us to Mother Mary through Mother Clare.
I was lying in my bed and when I closed my eyes I was transported to Heaven. I was in this hallway of a majestic castle, and I could hear a lot of people on the other side of a door. As I moved toward it two large angels behind the doors opened them to me. Waiting for me was Jesus who greeted me and placing my hand on His arm guiding me through the door.
It was a great hall where a king would see His Royal Court. At the far end of the room God the Father was up on His throne on the dais and the room was filled with people and saints. They were rejoicing and celebrating and clapping. “Victory! Victory! was the word that I heard, and they all were acting like a great victory had been done. They had all come together in this room to celebrate and to honor me for I was the guest of honor. They kept on saying “You are a great Victor we are all Victorious!”
Now this was a year or two ago and I don’t know about you guys, but I have found that things have just gotten harder and harder spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially. Like we are being pressed between a rock and a hard place and the pressure is getting more and more. At that time, I did not feel like a victor. I felt like we were loosing that it was all loss and pressure and struggles and suffering after suffering after suffering. More things to work on, more burdens to carry, never ending never letting up. So, I stood there in the middle of the room while all this is going on getting more and more upset at all these people happy and rejoicing and so happy and “Victory”. and I lost it.
I lost it in front of Heaven in front of God the Father and Jesus and all those gracious glorious saints, I had a temper tantrum meltdown in front of all of them. I the guest of honor yelled and screamed at them saying. “What are you doing????!!! You’re saying that we are Victors?!??! You’re saying that we are winning????!??? We are losing down here!!!! We are dying down here! Our hearts are breaking down here! Everything is just falling apart! Why in the world would you say that we are Victors! What are you talking about!!!!! Don’t you see how much pain and sorrow we are going though? Don’t you see what is going on?!!!!!”
I was so upset and angry with tears flowing down my cheeks that I felt I could not take this anymore. So as everyone stood there is a state of shock, I ran out of to the balcony into the garden till I could find a white bench to fall down and cry my eyes out with self-righteous and pitiful tears I had carried. It was not pretty at all. I was so hot and burning with anger that Jesus and God the Father stayed far away from me. Everyone else gave me the space I needed. The only one who came near me was the Holy Spirit. I felt Him as He came walking down the path following me till He sat on the bench that I was crying on. He sat there and sighed.
“Well” He said, “That was nicely handled.” “Yea” I replied.
“Need a hug?” “Yea” I responded.
So, the Holy Spirit brought me into His arms and let me cry on His chest and once I got a little in control of myself, we started talking about all the bitterness, resentment, pain and everything else that I had been bottling up and holding on and pushing down as I continued to work, work work instead of taking the time with Him and to deal with all these issues that were being bottled up inside. All that had spewed out over everyone! It was not pretty at all.
Well about a month later God the Father, Jesus and everyone else gave me a do over. They all prepared the party all over again for me, despite of all that had happened before. They graciously and mercifully forgave me and once again gave me the victory celebration where I was the guest of honor. At this point with the help of the Holy Spirit I was in a much better place and so was able to be in a more humble and loving position to accept this great gift. In this party the Lord Jesus was my escort and He guided me to certain saints who were praying for me.
The first in line was my Grandmother Ruth with my three Uncles who she had lost in miscarriage. My Grandparents on my other side as well as my Papa. They all hugged me and encouraged me, rooting for me and saying I was doing a great job and that they were praying and were in my corner.
Then the Lord said that He had those who He had placed as mothers and mentors over me. I have longed for mentors in my life, but I have never seemed to be able to find any here. Jesus and the Holy Spirit were my mentors. So, it meant the world to meet these great saints who had gone before who understood my struggles and had more wisdom and maturity that I had . Who were praying and supporting me every step of my journey. Jesus introduced me to St Therese of the Little child Jesus, St. Faustina, St. Francis, St. Padre Pio, C.S. Lewis, and St Augustine.
Then the Lord introduced me to two others. I did not catch their names, but one was this large petite African American woman who’s spirit just completely filled up the room. She was like my Grandma Ruth who’s spirit overshadowed her stature, yet her spirit was ten times more potent. She grabbed me and held me like I was one of her long-lost kids and immediately started to mother me. “Don’t you worry now about the past its forgiven and forgotten, you just take one foot and put it in front of the other. You keep fighting, you keep praying, and you keep dancing girl. I am behind you all the way backing you up with prayer and I’ve got no problem letting you know when your off-course baby. You stick to your Jesus, and everything will be fine. Now you keep dancing you hear?” “Yes Ma’am” I replied.
The second was a native American lady who did not say much but her eyes were filled with wisdom and understanding. She spoke that as I had married into her tribe through my husband, she now was covering me with her prayers, as I would need it to fight the darkness of the generations. I am so honored to have such women of faith at my side.
I was feeling that the party was winding down when Jesus said. “There is one more person I wish to introduce you to.” Gently He placed my hand on His arm and He guided me toward the throne of the Father who had been watching the proceedings from His throne with a great smile on His face.
Just before the throne of the Father standing closest to Him at His right hand, on the first step of the dais Mother Mary stood in a blue mantle waiting for me. When I caught sight of her, I was embarrassed, for she had been there for my outburst before. I felt the nervousness of a girl going to meet the parents of her beloved for the first time. That is how it felt that Jesus was bringing me to His mother for the first time for her approval. Mother Mary was beautiful, and her spirit was the most precious and perfect of all those attending, except for Jesus of course. Her eyes were filled with love, joy and acceptance as she took my hands and spoke gently and loving to me. “I am so glad to finally meet you, my daughter. I have heard so much about you from my son and I look forward to getting to know you”. In how she held my hands and the way she looked at me was total and complete love and acceptance. The love and acceptance of a mother. I started to tear up as I have not had this experience here and she pulled me into a motherly hug. It was the best hug I have ever had, warm, loving and accepting. All I wanted to do was become a child and get into her lap and stay there for a while, but the party was ending. Mother Mary let go of me, smiled and said we would talk soon. And that was the end of my time in Heaven.
I hope this encourages you all that Heaven is for everyone and is for you. Everyone there is with you encouraging you and praying for you. They know the struggles you face, the pain in you heart that no one knows about. They have run this race before us, and they are now cheering us on. So do not fear that you are not worth or deserving of this gift. It is their great joy and honor to serve and care for us who are still running our races as they cheer us on.
Finally, Mother Mary is the most gracious and wonderful mother you could ever have or think of. She is the mother of the Church, and she cares for all of us praying for us and encouraging and admonishing us as our own mother would. We have had many conversations since that time where she has listened and imparted her wisdom to me. In her love she has been weaving my veil for my wedding to Jesus. See how much she approves and love you and that she wants what is best for you which is what is the will of her Son. You will never find a more loving advocate to your soul’s benefit.
May the Lord bless you all and give you the courage to go boldly into His presence as sons and daughters of God.