Hello, Brothers, and Sisters, and Heartdwellers family.
Wow, the past two days have been a bit of a whirlwind in my mind for sure. I woke up yesterday morning to the Lord playing songs of faith over me, about stepping out in faith. Then he played one about surrender. The majority of the songs that morning had the same theme as I began to wonder, Lord what are you going to ask me to do or what have I not done? So I pondered on it for a while.
The night before I had a conversation with Pastor Chama after the beautiful message received from Padre Pio and Jesus about taking him under my wing as a spiritual son and just helping him. He was very and excited as he had the suggestion that maybe he should come to the mountain to be taught a bit then go back to Zambia. I told him that the Lord wanted him stationed there, that was his post, and I didn’t think he was calling him here. However, after the Lord began to play the songs of faith and surrender I thought maybe I had presumed to swiftly because I didn’t ask the Lord and thought maybe he was wanting Pastor Chama to come here. I went to him about it and got a “No”. Then a thought popped into my mind that I was to go there.
I reasoned with myself; no way, it doesn’t make sense, why? I don’t understand. I then went to the Lord about it and got “Joy” and I was to leave next month. I thought to myself, Whaat? All of these obstacles came to my mind as I wondered how the “Life from Light” event would fit into all of this. This just didn’t make sense. I lost my peace and thought for sure this is a lying spirit to ensnare me. I have been here before a few times. It didn’t make it any better, that the Lord wasn’t giving me confirmation through any readings or Rhemas about this at all. I felt so in the dark. I finally got a Rhema card from Blessed Mother which had her picture on it, and she said, “Rest your head on my heart. Peace, peace, my daughter, peace.”
So I decided to just lay down with the idea altogether and just discarded it from my mind. We then had to go to Mother Clare’s for our hour of Divine Mercy prayers and she got a Rhema card that was jolting and had everyone discern if it was from the Lord. Everyone got confirmation—my readings were of Humility, Pride, and Prisoners. I thought, uh oh. I then went to the Lord to see if it was about me, instead and got Holy Spirit. Ouch! I thought Lord, what did I do this time? Those readings were a hard warning. So again, the thought popped into my head, the trip to Zambia. So I asked the Lord, is that it, am I being stubborn in my pride to disregard your suggestion of going to Zambia? I got Guidance. Oh boy!
This time I submitted this to Mother Clare and told her what I felt the Lord was telling me to do and if she could please discern for me. I thought for sure the lying spirit was going to be exposed because this has happened many times before as demons have put it in my mind or my own flesh, [things that have] been attached to leaving the community prematurely. To my surprise, she got Joy and Holy Spirit. I was in shock, to say the least, as she encouraged me to go. She too felt it didn’t make sense but if the Lord is asking of this, I should go.
Still very leery, I went to Father Ezekiel to confirm that, so they both would be in agreement, and he got Joy—but Laziness twice and had a strong check that this was the enemy messing with me again trying to have me leave the community. I actually felt the same way too, in my reasoning I just couldn’t make sense of the Lord asking this of me and right now. I felt I smelled the fingerprints of the enemy. However, Mother Clare felt the opposite. I didn’t know what to do. When both of my coverings are not in agreement, I must get another leg of discernment and wait on the Lord to make it clear.
So I asked Mother Elizabeth to discern when I got home telling her the whole story and she got Holy Spirit. Oh boy, can you say confusing, fearful, excited, and anxious all at the same time? I decided I would just lay down with it altogether. If this was the Lord’s will he had to make it very clear to me and to Mother and Father.
So in the morning, I went into worship with the thought of laying this idea down again, but it kept gnawing at my heart—so I went to ask the Lord again assuming [that] if I got bad readings then it was just a cross, and it really was the enemy. However, I got Joy again. Now I reached out to another intercessor asking for their discernment and for them to pray behind me that I get a message about this, and they got Peace and Fruitfulness. Do you see guys how I struggle with faith? I am the worst.
I just could not reason why I would be going and especially not having both of my coverings in agreement. I had to be obedient to what they thought best—so I cried out to the Lord in my heart that I desperately needed a word from Him because this was not going away. I needed him to make it clear to me his will, and if he did, I would do it.
Just then I heard Blessed Mother begin to speak to me.
Our Mother of Mercy began, “My beloved daughter, I am here to bring you peace of mind and heart. I did warn you to not discount the instruction you would be given as a familiar spirit”
Then it hit me, oh my goodness is this my annunciation? I have responded terribly and did everything she told us not to do. Can you say face, palm…?
So, Mother, this is my annunciation?
Our Mother of Mercy continued, “Part of it, my beloved one. Your thoughts are my own.”
And just then I was thinking it was Arch Angel Gabriel who came to me to give me that announcement that morning.
She said, “It was Arch Angel Gabriel who gave you that message and was sent to you, to announce God’s will, and that IS His will for you, Beloved Little One, to go to Zambia, do not fear. I know there has been much confusion and much unbelief on your part.”
Forgive me Mother, but too many times I have been disappointed or met with contradictions or even given over to a lying spirit concerning going anywhere for that matter. So I’ve become a little too cautious and have crossed over to utter unbelief in this area. Please forgive me.
“You are forgiven, Beloved, and your reasoning doesn’t help. Come.”
I then envisioned her right before me, so tenderly smiling at me as she cupped my face in her hands as I knelt before her. She then pulled me close, kissing my forehead.
As she said, “Now have my mind, beloved.”
I gazed upon her warm smile and tenderness. She was so beautifully glowing in brilliant and radiant light and looking so tenderly at me. How could I say no? As I remembered her words to the angel and said, Behold, I am the servant of the Lord, be it done according to his word.
If that is the Lord’s will I put my understanding aside and submit it to you. Please forgive me for my resistance to His will. You told us not to do that and I did that very thing, Mother. I am a mess.
“You are a great example of weakness and God’s mercy. Do not worry, my little dove, I will bring peace to your covering and they both will be in agreement to send you out. You will go with God’s protection and His anointing, beloved one.”
Mother, I just didn’t understand why now, with the event coming up and other things?
“Lean not onto your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge the Lord and He will direct your path.”
As an aside, the Lord had just played a song called “Lean on” right before getting this message and the lyrics were stating just that.
“Stop leaning on to your reasoning, beloved. It didn’t make sense to me to be chosen as the Mother of the Son of God, or have a baby when I knew no man, but I knew if a word from God was spoken to me, He would do it. I didn’t reason in what way, but I simply trusted what the Angel told me, and it was done. So trust me, beloved daughter. Trust that He has a plan in mind and if He is asking for you to go now not only will doors swing wide open, but provisions will also be made, and He will go ahead of you to make the crooked paths straight for you and Pastor Chama.
“The most opposition you will receive will come from the devils to cause you interior anguish and anxiety as they have done—sowing seeds of doubt and restlessness. So rest in these words to you. More instruction will be given to you, Beloved, as you respond, and move forward. There are many wonderful surprises in store for you and for Pastor Chama as you go.
“Many souls and lives will be touched, and you are not going alone, but with the angels armies before you and hedged all around you, to help you with the mission that you will be given. The best preparation is your “yes” for now. Rest in that and as you submit this to your covering, peace will come about as to what the Lord is asking you to do.
“Do not worry about the promotion or circulation of the event as you are gone. Once you said, ‘Holy Spirit is the best marketer’ remember? He is working in ways you do not know of. Have the ladies be faithful in spreading the word and He will do all the rest. Have the group pray behind you beginning now, and fervently as you are there in preparation for all that the Lord desires to do. This is the first announcement to you. Thank you for responding and continue to be expectant for more to come.”
Thank you Mother for your peace and direction, and your faith. I know you gave it to Me this morning because I was definitely going to disregard this prompting altogether after Father didn’t feel good about it, but I couldn’t get it off my mind. This morning I put My trust into your Motherly Immaculate hands, and trusting that as this is the Lord’s will, you will make it clear to all. Please help me, Mother, to not overthink this.
Our Mother of Mercy responded, “Then I will just have to give more kisses to you on your forehead”, she smiled. “You receive graces and My love that way too, My sweet daughter.”
Then, Mama, I need several kisses now and in the days to come.
“Here.” She grabbed my face again and gave me five more kisses all over my forehead. “That will sustain you for now.”
And I will come for more tomorrow. Thank you, Mother.
Just then, guys, I opened my eyes, as I was typing, to see a beautiful brown and orange butterfly in the middle of my journal just staring at me. I was amazed and knew this was a sign from Jesus. He always shows me butterflies to let me know he is present. Then the butterfly flew right on top of the head of my little Blessed Mother statue that was right by the Blessed Sacrament, fluttering.
If that wasn’t a strong confirmation I don’t know what is. I began to smile and laugh, reaching for my phone to take a picture, but it flew away. As I thank Blessed Mother for this beautiful message and heaven’s help to get through the wall of fear and receive this announcement. I talked to Father Ezekiel and Mother Clare after that, sharing this message and they both had peace about it I told me to move forward.
So, this is an exciting for me, family as we are on this journey together. Please pray for me, pray for Pastor Chama, and pray for this mission.
I would also like to thank all those who donated to little Purity. We were able to give her $6,675. Amazing, you all are so generous! If you would like to donate toward this mission for my trip to Zambia or even provide items you would like for me to give to Pastor Chama for his ministry. Please donate via the PayPal link or send any items to 1113 PO Box Taos NM 87571. We would need to have the box, [at the] latest by two weeks. Thank you, family, for your faithfulness.
God bless you until the next message.