Hello brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers family. May we all receive the grace of greater humility and to except our misery.
Now with two projects off my plate I thought for sure I could catch up on many other things. I felt prompted to take a two- day retreat in the community just to have some time off to get things done. Mother Clare okayed my retreat and Jesus confirmed it was his will as well. On the first day of the retreat I got a message that morning that I wasn’t from the
Lord. I found myself a bit discouraged and wondering why the Lord would ask me to sit and hear him just to give me over to a lying spirit. I got six Rhemas. The first three were very encouraging but the last three read: “A strongman of Pride & Haughtiness”
The first thought that came to my mind was, Hmm, that definitely is not about me. So sad.
The second said:
“Simplify – Get to the essence of what you came here to do,
Quantify – Determine how progress will be measured,
Multiply – Make sure everything can multiply the good of the organization vs CED complicate, evade, and divide.“
I thought, uh oh, Lord, I thought I was a team player I am doing so much already.
So I sat with the Lord to discern if the first card was about me. I got reading on Humility which usually means for me to lay down with it or a no. So I was relieved and put the card on the shelf until the Lord gave me further understanding of whom he was talking about. Shows my pride.
That evening before I went into Adoration, the card about complicating evading and dividing was tugging on my heart as I tried to think what could that mean and what had I done?
I went to the Lord again to discern if the first card about having a strong man of pride and haughtiness was for me and this time I got “Joy”. My heart dropped to my stomach as I thought, Really, Lord, me? Can you all see my pride was just reeking? I couldn’t see at all how this could be so. I sank in discouragement as it all came to me, and Holy Spirit brought to my mind all the things Mother Clare needed help with. In many things I was waiting on her to let me know when to start, or so I thought. I kept justifying myself that I was just trying to be obedient to the Lord’s demands. I couldn’t see any of this.
So I called Mother Clare and confessed my sin and the Rhema card I got, and I was convicted that I wasn’t being as helpful as I could to her needs. I justified myself again telling her I was simply waiting on her, but she brought the truth to the light when she said, she could tell my heart wasn’t in anything that she wanted to do but totally consumed with all my projects. I felt a sting in my heart of truth, and she was right as I apologized. When we got off the phone I sat there stunned and began brooding again resentful at the Lord’s correction and crushing. Me, having a strong man of Pride? I still couldn’t believe it. Dang, that is how much pride I have. Oh boy, Lord help me.
The following morning in prayer I felt like a balloon that had been popped with a pin. No desire or inspiration for anything, so flat and my heart was aching as I was still trying to wrap my ahead around what he exposed in me. After receiving the Lord I came before him, Jesus is there anything on your heart?
But I heard Mother respond instead,
“My beloved daughter, I am here to bring comfort to your aching heart. It is one thing to see yourself as you truly are and it’s quite another to truly embrace it. Thank the good Lord for showing you your misery so you don’t continue to go forward and end up flat upon your face in a more severe way.
“Pride runs so deep in many souls. It’s in the faithful ones that pride runs even deeper and that is why we must continue to pull back the veil from time to time lest you get too puffed up and fly away .[as she smiled]
I said, “Mother…”
“Flying away in your own desiring, in your own direction and easily moved in vainglory with the anointing and graces the Lord gives you. There’s a deep work going on in your soul that will continue, Beloved. Because you have been given much, you must be broken much to keep your head and heart very low, very low. The greater the privileges given to a soul, calls for greater humility.
“Pride is something likened to a big elephant in the room seen from Heaven’s perspective. But on earth it is so subtle and manifests in different degrees and forms. It blinds the soul from seeing clearly and acting according to the divine nature of God. It sets the soul up for a slippery and steep fall, and the higher one has been inflated the harder the fall. Pride is indeed the root of all evils.”
Proverbs 11: 2 came to my mind, “When pride comes, then comes dishonor. But with the humble is wisdom.”
Mother, I am not surprised that I have pride, but I was surprised that I had that much pride…I guess that is pride within itself [sigh]. Oh, help me, Mother.
“You were taken away with contempt to do anything else that didn’t seem like a benefit towards your projects. That is haughtiness. Then you were very strong- headed, prioritizing your responsibilities before Mother Clare’s needs, were you not?”
Yes, Mother, again you are right.
I then looked up what haughtiness meant it said;
The appearance or quality of being arrogantly superior and disdainful. But the synonyms are what got me. Condescension, snobbery, self-importance, disdain, contempt. I thought eeeh, I could see some of that in my heart.
Our Mother of Mercy Continued,
“You see, Beloved, this couldn’t continue on. And yes, this could’ve have been brought up to you earlier but when the Lord allows a soul to run with something for a while before allowing them to fall He is really trying to get their attention. If this was revealed to you earlier it would’ve hurt, but you would’ve shrugged it off— eventually not realizing the depth of your pride. The longer it takes for a breaking, the deeper the work He does in a soul’s foundation. You then come to terms with whom you really are and see clearly how all your misguided steps, actions and desires led you here.
“My beloved children, the Lord is doing a deep work in all his brides this season in preparation for the new oil, anointing, and favor that are to be given. Cracked vessels cannot contain the Lord’s glory in an efficient way. Many hidden sins, habits, and strongholds will be exposed in you all. Do not be surprised at this nor allow yourself to fall into self-pity or discouragement which is just another form of pride because you think of yourself better than you truly are.
“All of this is to draw His beloved brides into the abodes of his merciful heart where His blood pours out upon you and washes you clean. You will be brides who know of the mercy of God’s unfathomable love because you have experienced it and tasted His goodness. When you see the complete misery that you are and His great love to still draw you so close and use you for his purposes. It’s all about his mercy. The same counsel you gave your little one, I want you to take, Beloved daughter.”
As an aside, I was talking to one of our priests and the week before, the Lord gave me some interior light as to being a victim of His merciful love. Funny, I finally get it now, why the Lord exposed this in me after Our Mother of Mercy said that. I told the priest that Jesus is looking for souls who will be victims of His Merciful love. The Lord’s mercy is unfathomable, and he wants to pour it out on souls, but he cannot find many who will receive His merciful love because so many run away from him in shame and guilt rather than trusting in his mercy. Because of that his heart hurts terribly and is so full of this love that he can’t get out. He mentioned in a message a while back that it feels like having gas in your chest that you cannot get out, it’s so painful. That’s how it feels for Him when he has to hold in all of this love that is created to be given out.
However, in order for a soul to receive the merciful love of God they have to see their sin. It must be exposed, which causes the soul then to run to God for mercy and thereby He is relieved by having His merciful love received finally. So it’s a win- win situation when He chooses souls to be victims of his merciful love. He uses the soul to be a continuous offering by exposing their sin and misery over and over again so that they run to his merciful love making reparation for souls who won’t receive his mercy and He too is satisfied. Wow, we were both moved when this was shared and I made a cheeky comment and said, maybe I will do a message about it, never thinking it would come this way. The Lord is amazing—and has a sense of humor.
Our Mother of Mercy continued,
“You are all victims of His merciful love. How else can he lavish his mercy on you if he doesn’t expose all of your hidden sins time and time again which keeps you running back to Him trusting in his mercy. Renounce your sins, embrace your misery and trust in his divine Merciful love for you.”
Lord, I renounce the sin of pride and haughtiness I ask you to please forgive me for hurting you and others with this attitude. I ask that you please deliver me from this strong man and all his accompany of demons. Make my heart meek and humble like yours, Jesus. Grow in me the virtue of true heroic humility as I embrace my nothingness and misery, trusting in your merciful love for me. Jesus, I trust you; Jesus, I trust you; Jesus, I trust you, Amen.
I would like to end with a Rhema card I just pulled after getting this message,
“Your miseries are the throne of My Mercy, Your impotence the beat of My Omnipotence.”
God bless you, family, until the next message.