Hello, Brothers, Sisters, and Heartdwellers family. May we all receive the grace to give ourselves entirely to Jesus amidst contradictions.
As we continue the three-part series of Belonging to Christ, may it enrich our desire to give ourselves more fully to Jesus and allow him to do with us as He pleases for his glory and for the purpose of our sanctification, to make us holy—to die to ourselves.
When I was met with my first contradiction walking with the Lord it almost ruined me; I was so undone and so confused. He had told me to move out of my apartment and to live among the poor. I told my Bible Study small group, my family—and I even threw a going away party for this cause. I did a vlog on my channel about it encouraging people to trust the Lord when He gives crazy instructions. I had two weeks until my lease was up, and He told me to wait, He would make it clear where to move. Three days before I had to be out He told me the location and how much to pray for rent. I called the place excited thinking, for sure, they would have me, but they declined my request. I was dumbfounded. I found myself moving back to my mother’s house within two days and facing the humiliation of my family and all those in my small group when what the Lord said didn’t work out. Caring more about what others thought of me; if they would now think I didn’t hear from the Lord. I thought to myself, God doesn’t lie, He doesn’t change his mind what just happened?
God is not human, that he should lie,
not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?
So what happens when the Lord speaks a word that you confirmed was from him and it is not fulfilled, or the Lord seems to change direction, what then? This has been the cause of the ruin of many people’s faith in God because of our attachments, our lack of total surrender, and our unwillingness to abandon ourselves to the goodness and mercy of God.
The Lord will never contradict himself, but he definitely allows contradictions. All through scriptures you see the Lord’s faithful ones tested in this, somehow or another.
You see Moses tested when the Lord told him to tell Pharaoh to let his people go but at the same time, by His own hand, he hardened Pharaoh’s heart against Moses.
But the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart and he would not listen to Moses and Aaron, just as the LORD had said to Moses.
So the Lord gave Moses instructions, and at the same time, he blocked the fulfillment of the initial instructions. You would think, Lord what are you doing? Why tell me to do something [while] at the same time you’re the source of causing its delay? Has anyone been through that? That makes me think of all the City of God delays and our trips to Ghana. The Lord says to move, we move—and then he causes the delay as well.
Then there is Joseph, who was given a dream of one day being above all his siblings, even his father, as they all would bow down to him. Then after having that dream he was sold into slavery and imprisoned for thirteen years. I bet he didn’t imagine that prison would be a part of his story to bring the dream to pass. Then there was St. Joseph—the Foster Father of Jesus was betrothed to be married to Mary. They both had decided they wanted to have a celibate marriage because they both wanted to give themselves to the Lord, so it was actually agreed [upon] before they were married. This is not in scripture but can be found in Blessed Catherine Emmerich’s book, Complete Visions of Jesus, and four other mystics who were given revelation about the life of Jesus before his public ministry. He knew she was a virgin, noble, and virtuous young woman and then he finds out she is pregnant. In their humility, they both said nothing to each other. That’s a contradiction he had to wrestle with for almost two months. And it was by Blessed Mother’s intercession who pleaded with the Father to please send an angel to tell him because she feared he was going to die. That’s how much he suffered from this great contradiction of the annunciation.
Blessed Mother also suffered a contradiction when she was told by Simeon that a sword too would pierce her own heart. She wasn’t given knowledge of the plans of redemption all at once. She received wisdom through time. So with the knowledge of her knowing Jesus was the Messiah and the savior of the world, the Son of God—you would think, now that He had come into the world, his reign would be glorious. However, she was met with a prophetic word that he would be opposed, and she would suffer as well. That is not at all what you would expect to hear after giving birth to the Son of God, the savior of the world. It was a contradiction she decided to treasure in her heart. (Luke 2:25-35)
Then prophet Jeremiah, whom I can so relate to, was met with constant contradictions when being obedient to the Lord’s instructions. He cried out “You deceived me Lord” (Jeremiah 20:7). He was always simply being obedient to the Lord’s instructions but was met consistently with hatred, scorn, beatings, and imprisonment. So in the eyes of everyone, he seemed like a failure to the point he even wanted to die.
Cursed be the day I was born! May the day my mother bore me not be blessed! Cursed be the man who brought my father the news, who made him very glad, saying, “A child is born to you—a son!” May that man be like the towns the Lord overthrew without pity. May he hear wailing in the morning, a battle cry at noon. For he did not kill me in the womb, with my mother as my grave, her womb enlarged forever. Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame?
Jesus was the biggest contradiction of all. He was King but lived like a poor man. He had the greatest glory in all the universe yet was made of no account on earth. He was the Messiah, perfectly Holy, yet ate with prostitutes and sinners. He came to set us free from captivity and sin yet took on our iniquity. And, He was a man acquainted with grief, (Isaiah 53:3). His life too was full of contradictions the Father allowed. Why? Because He too, although being the Son, had to learn Obedience through suffering (Hebrews 5:8).
That is what it all comes down to, the Lord allows contradictions to teach us obedience and abandonment. It’s a real trial which causes us to die to ourselves. It completely destroys any attachments we have and any control we think we have in our lives or even in the words the Lord speaks to us.
One of the most recent trials and contradictions the Lord allowed on his body was the American Presidential elections. Many prophets and Christians were put to the test as the Lord confirmed his word that President Trump would win, then allowed Biden to take office. Some Christians lost their faith in prophetic voices because of it. Some prophets even recanted the Lord’s words and others have been courageous enough to have faith and stick to what the Lord said. Did the Lord lie? Did he change his mind? No, sometimes prophetic words delay, and many other times prophecy is contingent on all the souls involved to correspond with the Lord and his will. And when they don’t the Lord will change plans.
I had really struggled with that and asked the Lord to give me a reference in Scripture where that happened because I felt that it was a cop-out when something the Lord said didn’t come to pass. Because He is God and knows the beginning to the end of everything, why does he need our corporation to ensure a prophetic word comes to pass? Then, Holy Spirit led me to the story of Saul and David. Saul was anointed by Samuel to be the king of Israel. However, Saul was held captive by the fear of men. He lived to serve and obey the people rather than serve and obey God. Because he didn’t corporate with the graces God gave him, the Lord rejected him and gave the anointing and the crown to another, King David.
1 Samuel 15: 24-26,
Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned. I violated the Lord’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them. 25 Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord.” But Samuel said to him, “I will not go back with you. You have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you as king over Israel!
So, sometimes if you’re met with contradictions from a word from the Lord that was given to you, it may very likely be that not everyone cooperated with the will of God, and, in his goodness, he devised another plan to work it out for your good.
There have been servants of God, who have lost hope and even their faith when the Lord allows contradictions—like the pastor who lost his entire family in a car accident and stopped serving the Lord because of it. That has to be so hard, but we can’t allow contradictions to make us turn our backs on the Lord. Or maybe you believed for healing for a family member—you got a word even—and they died. Or you’re waiting on the Lord for a spouse, and you even begin to pray ahead into your marriage and the Lord finally brings you someone and your marriage is a real trial and test of faith. Or you get on the offense in spiritual warfare covering yourself, your family, and loved ones, and everything you pray against happens. Then what? When you belong to Christ you must see his providential hand in everything, even in the contradictions, and know that he is testing you and growing you in the virtue of obedience and abandonment. All of those I mentioned in the scriptures were obedient to the Lord amidst their devastations, trials, and contradictions they were faced with, besides Saul. And I don’t think anyone one of us wants to be rejected by the Lord and lose the grace and have it given to another.
Furthermore, the enemy of your soul will taunt you and whisper all manner of lies to you when the Lord allows a trial of contradiction. He will try to appease our self-seeking nature and cause us to stop climbing the mountain of holiness and turn back because it’s easier and even try to lure you in serving him instead. As I was putting this message together I got a reading from St. Faustina’s Diary of Divine Mercy. And wow! it was so on point as she shared the devil’s whispering temptations that came to her in her moment of deep discouragement which I found myself in last week. Every vile temptation you can think of the devil said to me, just as he spoke to her.
St. Faustina begins,
“Total discouragement came over me, then I heard Satan’s voice, ‘See how contradictory everything is that Jesus gives you? He tells you to found a convent, and then He gives you sickness. He tells you to set about establishing the Feast of Mercy while the whole world does not want such a fest. Why do you pray for this feast? It is so inopportune.’ My soul remained silent and by an act of will, continued to pray without entering conversations with the Spirit of Darkness. Nevertheless, such an extraordinary disgust with life came over me that I had to make a great act of the will to consent to go on living…”
“And again I heard the tempter’s words; ‘Ask for death for yourself tomorrow after Holy Communion God will hear you, for He has heard you so many times before and has given you what that which you asked of Him’…The tempter went on: ‘Why should you bother about souls? You ought to be praying only for yourself. As for sinners, they will be converted without your prayers. I see you’re suffering very much at this moment; I’m going to give you a piece of advice on which your happiness will depend. Never speak about God’s mercy and in particular do not encourage sinners to trust in God’s mercy because they deserve a just punishment. You see, to live as a good nun it is sufficient to live like the others. Why expose yourself to so many difficulties?’ I remained silent and by an act of will, I dwelt in God although a moan escaped my heart. I went immediately to my cell and falling on my knees I renewed my act of submission in all things to the will of God.”
That was the end of the Rhema message from St. Faustina.
I was flabbergasted! These were the exact things the devil was saying to me in my moment of despair last week. After facing contradiction after contradictions he reminded me of how the Lord continues to break me with the City of God community. He taunted me, “The Lord tells you to establish the community but then causes its delay. You can’t trust the Lord’s words, you will always be a failure and anything you do will amount to nothing because He will allow contradictions, so just stop whilst you’re ahead. And stop praying for people and even meeting with the intercessory group for Ghana. There is no point. After all, look, you got sick. Your prayers are fruitless, nothing has happened or will change. Go ahead, just end it all, you will be in Heaven anyway. The Lord is too hard on you, you should just take it easy like the others in the community. Remember just desire to be a normal Christian. That is good enough, right? Why don’t you even come and serve me, you won’t suffer as much.”
Lies, lies, lies!
By the help of Blessed Mother, who obtained for me the grace to preserver through this battle and to renew my act of submission to the will of God, hence you all are hearing this series. When we belong to Christ it is not easy and there is no turning back, even though the enemy of your soul will tempt you to do so. In the darkest moments, admits contradictions, that is when we need to cling to Jesus; trust in his goodness when we cannot see or understand his hand in our lives. That he is good, He is faithful, and to abandon ourselves to him, and to his most holy will realizing He is in the instructions, He is in the delays, He is in the suffering, and He is in the contradictions.
God bless you, family.