Hello, Brothers and Sisters and Heartdwellers family. May we all boast that the more, in our weakness to receive God’s grace.
So, on this morning I pulled a few different Rhemas, and I got Psalm 81. I cringe when I get that because it’s an admonishment from the Lord that you are testing him with your disobedience and rebellion. I thought for sure that wasn’t for me because I got Psalm 45 afterwards which is about the Lord wanting to marry his bride.
That really shows my pride, huh?
Because I was just counseling a soul on disobedience and thought the Lord was addressing our conversation. But soon afterwards, upon receiving those Rhemas, I lost my peace and heap of condemnation came over me. I went to the Lord asking if it was about me instead and got “Joy”. So, confusion hit me—and then he gave me “Laziness” which made it even worse. I began to feel utter discouragement after spending the whole day doing what I thought he wanted me.
You see I got “Laziness” the night before, about working on music. So, I stayed up until 4:00am recording, just to have all the work deleted the next day when I went to retrieve it. So, I spent all this day recording and editing the song. So many thoughts of frustrations came because I get “Laziness” everyday about something or another in the Bibles Promise Book. Tears began to fall as the lies hit me hard, that everything I do is never good enough for the Lord. I am so weary and tired of so many things—and many times I would like to take a break, but when others can, it seems he doesn’t allow it and then I get “Laziness” on top of it….
I couldn’t even look at Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. I was struggling and as I felt the pains of rejection, I called on Blessed Mother to please help me—I got hit and I was falling fast. I could feel the pain in my heart as I began to cry wondering what it could be this time. So, I went through discernment, and he revealed it was me not listening to hear his voice. It had been a couple of days and I was very reluctant to hear from him because there has been so much confusion in my heart, to be honest. I had come to the mountain to help Mother Clare for a few days with some things. And now, thoughts of the rapture being imminent—at any moment—were circling. I had been here too many times—with the trip of Ghana being delayed— then rapture alerts which caused some to think the Ghana mission wouldn’t happen at all—which, of course, caused great anxiety in the past. But this time I told myself I wouldn’t fall into anxiety I had to believe in what the Lord had told me. I just was struggling to believe and understand anything. My heart had been so full of so many cares and worries. I didn’t trust myself to hear anything.
So, as I cried with my back turned to Jesus like a spouse who is upset I heard him say gently, “Your greatest purpose is to hear my voice. You are My bride, but I have called you as a prophet to the nations.”
I had just pulled a Rhema that day that had the scripture Jeremiah 1:5-19 but I am reading the first verse…
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
I was feeling so resentful and saddened by getting “Laziness” again and he was reiterating to me that my first work is to hear his voice, to always seek his heart to get a message.
Just then I saw a vision, Jesus stepped up to me in all my tears and just hugged me. Then he pulled back and looked at me and said, “Thank you, thank you for the late nights. Thank you for all your efforts and intentions to be obedient to Me. Thank you for all that you do for love of Me. After tonight’s prayers I want you to spend time with me in the wedding chambers of My heart.”
Immediately that broke the veil of condemnation that was trying to consume me as my tears stopped and a peace came over me. The pain in my heart ceased because I heard the truth and not the lies that had been feeding me for so long every time I got “Laziness.”
I knew then he wanted me to now come to him to hear his heart.
Jesus what’s on your heart?
“You are My beloved bride. All my brides, I know, so many of you are undergoing various pressures and trying circumstances, but I am coming for you soon, very soon.”
Lord I should be happy, but what about all that you have promised and all the work to do?
“Well, that is why I keep bringing up laziness. Just because I am coming, My dove, doesn’t mean to get lax or give up. I know many of you think, what is the point to all of this if you’re coming? But I have told you I don’t want My brides sitting on the rooftops awaiting My return, but busy about My Father’s business. There is still much time to do so much for My kingdom. So don’t let the nearness of My coming stop you in the least bit, but rather work more diligently. I will do what I have promised, but again, in My timing and in the way I want to do it, Beloved. I have called you to many responsibilities so please move forward and don’t get lax with any of it. There is still much time do things.
“And I no longer want you getting upset when I bring up laziness, Beloved. That is a weakness in your nature that I will help you overcome. You continue to compare yourself with those around you, so you think you do much. But remember, all your works are filthy rags of righteousness.”
“But it’s true, Beloved, If it wasn’t for My Mother—Her Mother’s love, protection, and supervision over you is what will cause and is causing every good intention to be a sweet fragrance for Me. It is She who has obtained for you so many graces, anointings and gifts. And “to whom much is given much is required.”
When he said that it reminded me of a dream I had, and I woke up with Blessed Mother saying to me, “I am turning all of your filthy rags into precious piles of righteousness.” Wow.
“You have been given much, although you do not see it. That is why you cannot compare yourselves to others, My little one. Seeing from our vantage point, you are walking in much grace—more so than others—and that is nothing to boast about because it’s your weakness that qualifies you for grace. You are so poor, so very little, so very weak, and so empty that you must be filled with much grace to do all that you have been called and predestined to do. So, you really need to apply yourself, Little one. Just like My Mother, I want you to exhaust every grace given, exercising it and using every gift and the greatest is that of hearing My voice and proclaiming My words.”
Okay Lord, please help me I’ve just been battling so much.
“Yes you have, My beloved one. But if you would’ve have come to Me when I called I would have subdued your enemies and the peace you have now would’ve been given days ago, but you didn’t not come. Please don’t continue to do that any longer. I need this, just as much as you do. I long to communicate My love to you and to my other brides. Many are going through so much and although your channel has become a means to promote others in their gifts and their stories which I love, your primary purpose is to administer My words of love, the words I give you. But if you don’t come your children, our children, do not get fed, My beloved. There are many on the channel who do not comment, but they listen and others who come time to time for a life-giving words that will pull them out of the pit and into My love. So please, do not neglect this responsibility any more, My beloved one, understood?”
Yes Lord, please help me.
“My brides, My grace is sufficient for you in your weakness. Please, no longer cower in shame, in frustrations, or even in resentment at what I permit or what you’re going through. Just as I told this little one, it is in your weakness, in the lowest places, that my graces flow. So, you see, the weaker you are, the littler you are, the more empty you are—the more I fill you. It’s in the trials of life that I use to break you of pride, attachments, and your so-called strengths.
“It is in trials that you see how truly weak you are and that is when, like a Father, I rush in when you call upon me to fill you with my grace so that you might stand, that you might endure, and that you might preserver in all that you are going through. So, trials equal the revealing of weakness and weakness equals My grace. You see how good I am? Trust me, My beloved brides, trust me in this hour and boast all the more in your weakness that my strength may be made perfect.”
That was the end of Jesus’ message.
He made it clear to me why I was getting “Laziness” in the Bible Promise Book. However, guys, I was still unsure about the disobedience until the following morning. He made it clear I was being disobedient with my resistant of wanting to stay on the mountain again. The Lord wanted me to return back to the community to live here again. I didn’t catch it the first time as many in the community kept saying how they missed me, and I should stay. I wanted to go home and get back to my regular routine and get things done. Then, after receiving this message, the following morning, during the Mother of Mercy Chaplet, I got the reading from A Hope In Winter Comes book, “The Lord’s Holy Mountain”—then it hit me. The Lord wanted me to stay here, but in my heart I already had made up my mind to return home, to the Taos house. I confirmed with Mother Clare who said Father Ezekiel and [she] were talking about me returning. So, I am here now—no longer in Taos—back on the mountain—learning to be obedient and die to self all over again. [Laugh]
Oh my gosh, guys pray for me.
God bless you family until the next message.