Hello, brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers Family. Hope you all are being blessed.
It has been a trying couple of days. We found out about the US restrictions for foreign travelers, and as of November 8th, any foreigner coming into the US would have to have the vaccine to enter. That is so crazy! They would like to have those same restrictions for US citizens traveling, but the Lord said he won’t allow Biden to do that. Sister Therese has been here with us on an ESTA Visa which expires on November 18th, and we had a flight booked already. However, when we found out about this new restriction the Lord told us that she had to leave in two days to go out of the country and come back before the restriction when into effect. So, needless to say, I was trying to find flights, hotels, bus tickets, and make sure the countries were non-Schengen (meaning a non-European country with no covid restrictions or guidelines). We didn’t check well and had her book her first flight to Romania, which was non-refundable, then found out that they had just recently changed their restrictions and anyone who entered had to be quarantined for 14 days. I was on the phone for hours with the airline company to see if I could change the ticket destination. This battle lasted two days with whole days spent on the phone until they told me that they were unable to help me at all. The ticket was no longer valid and that they couldn’t refund me the money.
Truly, this was another test of patience and anger I failed. We had to rebook a whole other ticket as I told the Lord that every cent that was taken by the airlines would be a soul won for the kingdom. We finally got her a flight the day before she left and then I had to pick up three new ladies coming in from town (a 2-hour drive) who will be staying with us for a few weeks until they can go to the mountain. After being so pulled, not only by flight changes, tickets but also responsibilities with priests, counseling souls in the night, and ministry work, I thought I could just use a retreat Lord. But I couldn’t because I now had to help lead and guide these wonderful souls. He gave me a Rhema yesterday morning chiding me about not using my gifts. For the first time it wasn’t the message but the gift of Mother Souls and how I shouldn’t run from that role or feel as though needed to take a break, because that is how I was feeling. So, this morning we had a wonderful time of worship together. And when I came out after prayer, I saw them all together chatting and realized for the past couple of days, since they had arrived, they were always together throughout the day, and that is not healthy for them in a monastic life (which means mono—one-on-one with God) to cultivate a deep intimacy with the Lord—to hear his voice and to work using his gifts. It seems there had been a lot of idle time being wasted in hanging out or talking to one another instead. So, this was on my mind. And knowing I had to talk with them about it, the feeling of responsibility came back all over again. I went to discern, asking the Lord the gifts of one of the souls and he re-directed me to coming before him to hear from him instead. Which I was actually relieved because I was desperately in need of a word from him.
So, I came to him saying;
Good afternoon, My Love, thank you for prompting me to come to sit still to hear you speak with me. Lord, it’s been really hard [as I began to cry] the burdens of responsibilities have been very taxing and overwhelming lately with being pulled which and ever way and feeling alone. Praying for help and wishing I had a companion alongside me—and… I could just use a hug. I’m trying to persevere in doing the work you have called me to, and my many other responsibilities and feeling burdened also in leading the ladies in the right way. You are my spouse and many times I forget I am not in this alone, but I have a husband who happens to be God and I can come to you, rest my weary head on your shoulder, receive strength, and most importantly counsel, and wisdom on how to help these souls here in the community and listen to your heart.
Jesus, what’s on your heart?
“My beloved spouse, I am here, and we are in this together. Thank you for responding and coming to me. Do I always have cause moments of distress to have you come to Me daily? You are teaching the ladies to do so, and I ask you to do the same. I know it’s been some very difficult days and you can feel the squeeze, but I am squeezing all My beloved brides right now. Those who are ripe with brotherly love, with virtue, and with faith I am squeezing all that I can get from each soul that I may clean you to fill you with much more. You are living in dark times and there are days of heaviness and sadness on the way in your nation and I need my brides to be willing to carry whatever it is I ask of them and whatever way it may come. Please don’t allow these crosses to cause you to be embittered or resentful. Remember, these are precious gifts from my hands that I give to My most faithful and you have been found worthy.”
I said, oh Lord, your great grace and mercy towards me is quite amazing, but I am oh so weary and not sure if I have any fight in me left.
Jesus responded, “Well rest in Me beloved, allow Me to strengthen you, equip you, heal you and restore you as I fight the battles through you, and we do this together. The ladies you have with you are precious souls—each one chosen by My Mother, and they would do well to study her life, imitate her as she imitated Me.”
And as he said that I thought of the scripture—this scripture came to my mind, 1 Corinthians 11:1 Paul says, ‘You are to imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.”
“For they are called to be her disciples and daughters who will most resemble Me if they entrusted themselves fully to Her. Do not be afraid to Mother these souls, Beloved. I know you have had many disappointments and many more battles with your flesh concerning this, but I have made you their friend, spiritual guide, and companion to help them in this way of perfection and holiness. I have called each of them to a deep intimate walk and communion with Me. So, it’s important that their hearts are wholly given over to Me. They have a ways to go as I begin to reveal to them who they truly are before Me—as motives and attachments are exposed and will be severed by Me if not surrendered to Me freely. A communal life is very beautiful when all the souls walk in accordance to brotherly love and caring for each other as they put Me at the center. But many times, your need for comfort consolation, and companionship can easily be distracted by finding it in a creature who will ultimately let you down and disappoint you, but I will never disappoint you. My beloved brides, I have brought you here to know Me, to know yourself, and to fall in love with My Mercy. The message of the Divine Mercy was very intentional today as I played it over all of you.”
And here the Lord is referring to the time we had of worship together. He played the Divine Mercy message instead. And one of the ladies was really touched by that and even cried.
“For you all will become my representatives of My Divine Mercy, letting the greatest of sinners know that they have recourse, a refuge, and a safe, haven in My merciful love. You cannot come to that place unless you, yourself have tasted the sweetness of my mercy and that only comes with finding out who you truly are before me. Please do not be ashamed when I begin to show you hidden sins, expose impure motives and reveal to you, affections and attachments that have hindered you from giving your all to Me.
“Find your solace, your recourse, and your joy in My Presence alone. Be diligent with the gifts I have given you for the time is very short, My beloved ones. Use every time you have to waste it on Me and For My Kingdom. This community and life I have called you to is not of one of comfortably, or retreat rather it is one of fruitful toil, diligent labor, and unceasing prayer and not to mention countless, I mean countless self-denials all for love of Me. Will you love me and give me everything? Everything I ask of you and no longer continue in complacency that was so normal in your world. Apply yourselves, My beloved brides, press in. I have so much in store for each of you, treasure troves of graces, gifts, and anointings that will take you into the destinies I have called you to, and called you here to reveal to you, but you must press in.”
That was the end of Jesus’ message.
The following day, I found everyone still lingering around a bit and then the Lord chided me on “Laziness” again—that I was lazy to instruct these souls in the house. I thought the Lord’s message would be enough, but the Lord wanted me to make a schedule for everyone, even our new brother. I was so nervous about giving them a schedule because I felt I was encroaching. But the Lord made me to understand that this was my duty and they needed guidance. He then gave me a Rhema message from Mother Clare’s website that said, “Your past is getting in the way of Intimacy with Me.” I just broke down crying because I knew it was the pain and past wounds of mothering souls that were getting in the way. I had all these presumptions, judgments, and fears of leading souls again and that is why I was so leery of stepping up to help the ladies. I was fresh off another disappointment with the other young lady who is no longer going to Ghana with us, and I was hurting.
I made the schedule and ended up sending out an alert to the intercessory group to pray for me because I was struggling with my responsibilities. And I walked in to find the two new ladies praying together for me. Not only that, one of the ladies mentioned that during prayer that she had asked the Lord to be please give her a schedule because she didn’t know what to do with her time. I was dumbfounded and so relieved when I told her the Lord wanted me to make a schedule for them. They were both happy and willing, and so grateful for it that I was surprised because I was so used to getting resistance, or souls becoming upset or frustrated with me. After receiving their schedule, we got together and prayed, and the Lord showed me how I prejudged the ladies because of my past wounds and disappoints with other souls and that they were different. And how I shouldn’t treat souls based on how others have been in the past. I realized my past indeed had gotten in the way and I was so wrong about these ladies. I confessed my sins and failure in trusting the Lord and my insecurities to them as I asked them both to forgive me, which they did gladly. I was so humbled by their attitude and so grateful at the same time. So please pray for these two wonderful souls who have now transitioned out of my care up to the mountain.
God bless you family, until the next message.