Hello brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers family. May you all receive the grace of faith to believe in others and the power of Mama’s Intercession.
So, family I had a couple of situations pop up and a test the Lord allowed which I failed again. But it’s in our many failures that the lessons come, and we are humbled. One of the ladies met a young man on the street and we discerned the Lord was okay with him coming to stay over for just a night. He was a pleasant young man with a dog and a hard life. In the next message I will share more of his story and what the Lord said to him. He ended up not staying just for a night but is now staying with us at the house in Taos. The message the Lord gave him was so beautiful, comforting, and He made it clear that He wanted him to be here. I shared with Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel, submitting to what they thought was best and both agreed to have him stay. We had discerned this; however, a few days after, Mother Clare got a message she felt was from Blessed Mother saying the complete opposite and told us he had to go immediately.
I didn’t realize how upset I would get because this young man was really trying, I had seen a change in him the first morning he had arrived, reading his Bible, highlighting Mother Clare’s Rhema book, he was so hungry for the Lord. And after giving him the beautiful message from the Lord we all felt settled that this was his new home. However, I know longer lead myself but had to submit my will and my obedience to what was asked of me. I left huffing and puffing, literally, after our meeting, knowing that he had to leave and receiving conflicting messages which brought so much confusion and frustration that the Lord had allowed another cross of contradiction. After I cooled down, I immediately texted Mother Clare and Mother Elizabeth and apologized for my bad attitude. My goodness, I am a hot mess. And realized I had to, yet again, detach to the Lord’s will even though it seemed contrary to what I wanted. The Holy Spirit played the Ave Maria song, and I knew Blessed Mother was fighting my battle because my heart was in a storm.
The following morning, I just couldn’t shake off the beautiful message Jesus gave me about him and was still struggling if I had failed in discernment. I was struggling, needless to say, to walk in obedience. I had to call the young man that morning and tell him to leave and of course he was so crushed and left angry. As I was walking back to the chapel because I had visited the mountain for a few days, I was so grieved in my heart thinking of the fruit of all this—if this could be the Lord. I got a Rhema, and it said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon you” so I decided to pull a reading from the Bible Promises, if the Lord was calling this young man to stay despite the message that was given the day before, and got “Joy.” You see I had never gone against Mother Clare’s discernment, but this was the first time I could not shake off what I felt to be true.
I ran to the chapel to ask Mother Elizabeth to discern, wondering if we could both submit our thoughts to Mother Clare. Blessed Mother, being amazingly good, had Mother Clare call at that very moment, not realizing the whole time she also was being convicted about her discernment and got Holy Spirit for this young man to stay. We called him back to apologize, and he apologized for his attitude because he was so used to being rejected or people giving up on him when he was beginning to try. I was so filled with joy and peace when, by Mama’s intercession, the truth was made clear.
Then I also had to speak with one of the ladies who was supposed to go to Ghana with me. I had tried to work with this soul for a while now and as she was called back to the mountain. I could tell a wonderful difference in her and knew her heart was here in this mountain community, not for the mission in Ghana. So, I also was nervous to deliver the news that she was no longer called to go to Ghana, but here, and prayed that Blessed Mother would help me prepare her heart for that. And the meeting went beautifully as we were both relieved and full of peace at the Lord’s will.
During that evening in Adoration, my heart was full of gratitude and thanksgiving because I already began to carry this young man in my heart and was so excited for what the Lord had in store for him.
I felt led to journal as I began:
Thank you, Lord, for drawing me with your chords of loving kindness and thank you so much Mama for coming to my rescue today. I know it was you this morning when my heart was raging like a storm and then Holy Spirit played the Ave Maria song, I knew you were telling me you were here. You had all things under your control and that I could trust you.
Then I got the gospel reading during my Lord’s Supper, about Jesus calming me storm when the disciples where in the boat and he gently admonished them having little faith. I knew that was me in this instance and in this trial. I hated my bad attitude and my response knowing I had failed another test of the sin of respectability and of humility. But I just couldn’t shake off this feeling that I knew it my spirit that something just didn’t feel right about letting that young man go.
On my way home you had me stop in my tracks—now I know it was Holy Spirit—to discern again if it was the Lord’s will to have him stay got “Joy”. I was so full of peace because I didn’t think my discernment was off then at the same time Mother Clare was calling Ruth and talking with her to discern and found out in fact it was Holy Spirit wanting him to stay all at the same time. Now I really got excited and was so amazed how the Lord worked everything out truly speaking peace to this stormy boat. When we became concerned about Him and wondering if he would come back home, I asked, you Blessed Mother to please send your angels to help him not to do anything crazy and to arrest his spirit to bring him back. And you did, Mama!!
Then you gave a wonderful message to Mother Clare, prepared Sister’s heart concerning staying here in the community rather than going to Ghana—which she was so glad about and full of peace, leaving no hard feelings but a relief to us both. And here, now in Adoration, I pulled a Rhema from “In Sinu Jesu” and Jesus was speaking about how we should make you loved. As I sip on my drink a drop falls and make a perfect heart on the page…. I thought, wow Lord, you know how to woo a girl out of her shame, and realized it was you, Mama, again. It continues to be you the whole time!! Thank you, Mother, for your love, patience, and gentleness, leading and helping me through these trials. Thank you so much!!
I also feel I received the title for the second book “Behold your Mother”. Just beautiful! Please help Simone with the grace to finish this book. [And as aside, she is one of our intercessors who is helping put this book together] and please bring others on board who could help me finish the booklets. I felt that strongly during the Rosary that it needs to get done [sigh]. Please bring help, Mama, and give us all the grace to corresponds with the graces to do all the work the Lord has asked us to.
Sweet Mother is there anything on your heart?
Our Mother of Mercy began,
“My beloved daughter, how you are such a delight to my heart [as she held my chin looking up at her] and fill me with abodes of joy, you really do. Oh, ye of little faith that is who you truly are but all you need is a small seed of faith like that of a mustard seed entrusted to me and I will multiply it for you to cause it to grow and increase becoming a tree of life to all you come in contact with. That is the Marian multiplier. Nothing given to me will be wasted. Rather it is taken, cleaned, reformed, reshaped, strengthened, and multiplied a thousand-fold. Your one seed has turned and is turning to duplicated thousands of other mustard seeds of faith that will yield a great harvest within souls. That is one of the seeds given to your beloved brother and friend.”
And here she’s talking about when we prayed for him the first night he arrived. We felt led to just lay hands on him and pray in tongues. As we were praying in tongues, I saw Blessed Mother hovering over him with her mantle around him. And I saw a light come down from heaven and enter into his soul. I just began to pray and ask Blessed Mother to seal whatever has been given to him. And I felt in my heart and in my spirit, it was a seed of faith.
Our Mother of Mercy continues,
“He truly is your brother, and I am so very glad you all have taken him into your hearts. Watch over his soul with prayer, with love, and much patience. Guide him, most importantly, by your example, and by gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit. Don’t expect so much from him but just walk side by side with him answering his questions, guiding him through the Rhemas and readings, and just loving on him. In time that seed of faith that was given to him will bloom and bare much fruit. Now the seed has been planted, you must water it with your love and prayers.
“Oh, my little angel.” she said, smiling.
And immediately I remember the song that played over me in the morning. And it’s a beautiful song from Roma Downey, from a mother speaking to her child so I responded, So that song played; this morning any time I hear that, is that you speaking over me, Mother?
“Yes, my little one” she said. “The Lord gave you to me, and many others. Thank you for bringing all you meet, to me. There are many errs ahead of you. Do not be afraid. I know you became anxious when you heard that, but it is through your greatest falls and mistakes that have matured you, strengthen you, and taught you to overcome. Therefore, you can in turn, teach others.”
And here she was really reading my thoughts because I love that song. But I always trip up when she mentions to her daughter, that there are many errs ahead of her. And I looked up errs and it is mistakes, misbehaving. And I thought, really, Blessed Mother, is that—is that how my walk is going to be—is that what I’m called to? I thought—I was— called—to be perfect—[Laugh] But, clearly…. I guess I’m not. I should really embrace everything the Lord has in store for
me—and all the failures that I are ahead, that will teach you guys what not to do. [Chuckle]
Our Mother of Mercy continued, “In the world they say experience is your greatest teacher, and so are your mistakes. Accept them, embrace them, and try your best not to repeat them.”
Oh, Mother I can’t do that, you know that . . .
Our Mother of Mercy responded,
“I know, My beloved little one, so asks Me to help you not to continue to repeat the same habits and mistakes that continue to hinder you. You truly do not come to me enough and as often as you should. I long to do life with you. To do life with all the brides of Christ but many see me as means for just a blessing, just graces or worst of all, many keep me deep down hidden in their closet to only bring me out when they are in need of something. But I want an intimate relationship with all my beloved children. I am your Mother, here to nurture and care for you. Here to love you and help you in this precious exile and road called life. Life with me leads every soul straight to heaven—heaven on Earth, that is.” she said, smiling. “I have no favorites, but I do bestow favor on those who entrust themselves to me and continue to come and come again to me for help and assistance with the smallest details of their life. Let’s work together, My little one, on everything. I am very much excited about the books, the journals, and the art.”
And as an aside here, that is a surprise and something very exciting that I’m looking forward to sharing with you guys very soon, what the LORD has me up to and what we’re creating together.
“Much fruit, I mean much fruit will come from this little family and ministry of yours and I’m sending more help that is on the way. Do not be dishearten by your past failures or past disappointments in those that have let you down. Remember the Lord is working it out for your good and for the good of the other souls whom you have had to let go.”
And she is right, here. Even though I have had peace about letting go of my sister, I found myself being filled with bitterness again, and resentment and such disappointment that another soul has let go of this mission to Ghana and has not fully corresponded with the graces given.
And Mother of Mercy continued,
“I will bring another who will respond to the graces with their whole heart. Now you see why his delays are your protection and for the protection of all those involved in your mission. He is working things out beautifully behind the scenes. In time you will see and come to understand and praise him for it instead. For now, My little one, keep doing what you have been asked to do. Many graces are being given to you and those at MY house.” she said, smiling.
As I’ve told you all before, she mentioned that the community in Taos is Her house. She the Mother is this house! Not me.
Yes, Mother. I responded.
“Pray fervently for the new ladies coming. They will be of help to you more than you know. That is all for now, My beloved little angel. Continue to share my love, my heart that is full of mercy and my intimate call to friendship with your flock so that they may come know and love me as their Mother.”
That was the end of Blessed Mother’s message.