Hello, brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers family.
The Lord and Blessed Mother have asked us all in the community to begin journaling. If I can be honest, I haven’t been doing that at all. I usually rely on the Lord for messages instead. I used to journal all the time in the beginning of my walk with Jesus even before trying to hear his voice. I would share and pour out my heart to him. I would write down what songs he played, what he was telling me through the lyrics and the Rhemas and get counsel from that. Today in worship he played a song called, “Journal.” It couldn’t be any more clear. But did I listen? Nope. Prayer went long, and after receiving him I just didn’t hear anything.
Many times the Lord can speak in two ways. First, by him beginning the conversation—by giving you a flood of thoughts to your mind that you want to write down. Or the other, which I am so not keen on, is you first beginning the conversation, then sitting in silence waiting on him to speak.
After we began our day, one of the girls came excitedly that she had finally journaled today and heard from the Lord. The things she said stirred my heart aflame because I had an amazing time in worship as I cried just longing to really connect with Jesus and so full of thanksgiving for turning my heart back to him. It felt like I was in love all over again and I was so hungry for his love. However, after receiving him and I didn’t hear anything, I went about my day a little bit sad and wondering if it was a cross that I wasn’t hearing from him, or I was just being lazy in stirring up my gifts. I got a Rhema that said, “The future is with the disciplined” and I thought the Lord was wanting me to get to work since I have so much to do and feels like so little time to do it all. So I continued on with my day until the moment one of the sisters came running in excitement about her journal entry. I was so excited for her— but felt sad inside (sigh) because I missed Jesus. We then had to do the Divine Mercy hour and I went into my room to grab Jesus’ Eucharist and I decided to pull another Rhema. It said, “The graces are falling down upon you. Don’t waste them.” I thought, ‘Wait, hmmm, could this be about me pressing in to journal and hear His voice?’ Because it had been a few days. So when we sat down to pray, I stared at Jesus in the Eucharist. My heart began to burn, wanting to just leave prayer and journal with the Lord. Once we were done, I hurriedly jumped up and told Sister Therese, I think the Lord wants to speak to us all, and for her to journal too. So I ran into my room with excitement, to speak to Jesus in this most intimate way, which I haven’t done in months. Getting a message is one thing, and journaling is another. When I journal, I get to be me, free, and just pour out my heart to Him. And that’s exactly what I did.
[I began to journal]
“Good afternoon, Jesus. Today is such a beautiful day outside and I had such a wonderful time in worship. I feel as though my love for you has been renewed. You blew upon the embers of my heart, Lord, and turned my gaze back to you. I love you, Jesus, a thousand times over. Words can’t describe the thank you(s) that you deserve for what you have done—for what you have saved me from and what you broke in me to fill me with. [I started crying at this point]. Thank you so much for your loving gaze, your loving grace, and your loving mercy towards me. Jesus, I say I do, not at the altar to renew our wedding vows, but at the sacrificial altar. I lay myself down to be all yours. I no longer belong to this world. I have written my divorce decree and I divorce the world an all its pleasures and lies. I divorce my race, I divorce my family, I divorce my culture, I divorce my country, I divorce my family name and take on yours. Because I belong to something much higher. I am a citizen of heaven and you just happened to place me here, in this world, in this country, in my family, in my race, in my culture—but I no longer find my identity in that. Only in your love, Jesus. Transform me, shape me, mold me, and allow me to swim in your love, Lord.
It’s been a long time since I’ve journaled and I’ve missed you, Lord. Such a deep longing to just converse with you as intimate friends—not just to get a message, but to hear from you. Please forgive me for my laziness. I realize I still have a lot of fear because although I’m making an effort to let all of my dreams and promises go, they are still in the back of my mind. And I don’t want “myself” to get into any message. So I have been waiting for you to speak to me rather than me waiting on you, to hear from you. Okay, I’ll stop now, Lord. Is there anything on your heart?
[Jesus] “My beloved one, you can go on, and on, and on…you can never bore Me with your love notes. Oh, how my heart is inflamed and stirred to passion for you when you speak that way to me. Never stop my little one. I am God, but your spouse as well. And I too long to speak with you as intimate friends daily. Not always to give you a message, but to bring you counsel, and more importantly to give you peace. Please, will you come daily and journal your heart to me? You thoughts and meditations. I am here to listen and direct you.
“And remember, even some of the most intimate journal entries can still feed our children. They will know what a loving spouse they, too, have, and will stir their hearts to come to sit with me. So, I’m glad you’re here. I need you to be more disciplined in this area, my dear, for you are now a mother and many little ones rely on your milk to be sustained. And others, the meat that you give them. So just keep coming, just keep coming…., remember?” [He said that smiling]
(As I laughed because it was a jingle from the movie, Finding Nemo and he said the same thing to me when I started hearing from Him months ago.)
[Mary Elisha] “Yes, Lord, I do. It’s amazing how everyone is hearing from you, now. Mostly everyone in the community. Thank you, Lord, for such a gift.”
[Jesus] “You’re welcome, My little one, and many more graces have fallen and are falling upon you all. The grace of self-denial is one. You can feel it within your body, the desire to not really eat, but only when hunger permits. That is a grace given to you. And I see you’re slowly catching on, and slooowly responding.” [As he smiled, saying that]
[An Aside] It’s so true, guys. I found myself for the past few days, not hungry at all until after 3 pm or even later. I’m such a morning breakfast person. I have to have that to start my day. But now I wake up feeling so full. First, I thought something was wrong but noticed my desire to eat was getting later and later as I thought, could this be a grace from the Lord? Blessed Mother had given me a reading once about it. That when the Lord gives his grace, many times we submit to our nature rather than corresponding to it such as eating.
Jesus gives you the grace to feel full but rather you submit to your nature and eat anyway, not thinking it was a grace from the Lord you missed. And I had never thought of that. But now it had become apparent. As I began to speak to others in the community, many were going through the same feelings and not really feeling hungry anymore until much later.
[Mary Elisha] “So yes, Lord. Sorry, many times I think my body just needs it.”
[And Jesus chimed in] “Your flesh you mean?”
[Mary Elisha] I laughed. “Yes, very true, Lord. My flesh.”
[Jesus] “And your body is just fine without it because you have been given food from heaven and a grace that has sustained you to deny yourself instead. Adhering to those graces really pleases Me, My beloved one. All of this is in preparation for what is to come and the destiny that lies ahead. There will be many times when food will be scarce. And many more times when I’ll have you give your food to another who’s literally dying of hunger who has need of nourishment and I want you to be so detached from food that it won’t be an issue for you, as you trust Me to sustain you. The Father’s Will, will be your only desire and food, okay my little one?”
[Mary Elisha] “Ahh, I see, sure, Lord. I know you’ll help me. Whatever you desire, help me to do it.
Lord, what about all of these responsibilities? Please help me to prioritize. It’s been so exhausting each day, thinking about the things that I must do. I feel like I’m always lagging behind and trying not to feel overwhelmed, and then always getting laziness in the Bible Promises when it feels like I’m working overtime right now.
[Jesus] “Well, all of this is great suffering—your exhaustion, weariness, the pain in your body—you have offered yourself as a living sacrifice. And I have taken you and many others up on that offer. So continue to offer that struggle to Me, Beloved, but don’t allow that to hinder you one bit. If I give you a cross, I give you the grace to not only to carry it but to do all that I demand of you while carrying the cross. The most important thing, Beloved, is hearing from me every morning. Make an effort because I will guide you day by day. Don’t look any longer, far off into the future of things that are going to happen, and the mission as I have made it clear to put it on the back burner for now. Things will begin to happen rapidly in your nation and it’s so important that you follow My steps day by day.
“Right now, what is a priority is getting the food items situated. Work on that these next few days and get the pool cleaned out as Mother Clare instructed you. That is very important. Although many times you don’t understand her counsel, the promptings are from Me. You all don’t have much time. But I have listened to the cry of your heart and will give you a few more days of decent weather so as not so arduous on you all.”
As an aside here, Mother Clare has asked us to fill up the empty pool with water because she believes that a sandstorm is coming that will contaminate all of the water sources. And we can use that as our cistern here and for the community. Then we had a sudden snowstorm sneak up on us two days ago. There were so many accidents in the city, and we had an entire blackout the whole night in the city. It was freezing. It felt like a little taste of what is to come. So we realized how unprepared we were and also how desperately we needed more time and good weather to get everything done. Because it’s so hard to work in the cold. So this morning I was asking Jesus to please give us some good weather so we can get all of this done.
[Jesus continued] “Continue to work together as a team and you’ll finish in no time. I have angels stationed to help you both get what you need for the winter.”
[Mary Elisha] “Lord, all of the food hasn’t come in yet. And then I have the messages and things that need to get done for the ministry. Can you please help decipher through all of these things daily?”
[Jesus] “Do not become anxious or overwhelm yourself, Little one. Day by day, remember?”
[Mary Elisha] “Today is almost gone.”
[Jesus] “Work on the messages, and tomorrow, begin what you can with the pool. We’ll leave it here for now and come to me again tomorrow to get further instructions. But let’s do this day by day and together.”
[Mary Elisha] “Thank you, Lord. Thank you so much. Love you, Jesus.”
[Jesus] “Love you, my beloved bride. Put your doubts aside.”
And that was the end of this journal entry.
So, my beloved family, the Lord is wanting me, well, all of us, to share our journal entries. It’s an intimate look into all of our hearts. Although the Lord may not be directly speaking to you, you can hear his voice speaking to you through our situations and struggles. So you will be hearing more journal entries from Sister Therese, Mother Magdalen, and Sister Ruth. And I pray that this inspires you all to journal again. Because the graces are falling on you all as you allow him to write his words on your heart.
God bless you until the next message.