Hello brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers family. May we all receive the grace of great detachment and abandonment from our own wills and expectations.
I have made it known to you my interior fiery trial that I have been under. Although I had surrendered to the Lord’s Will, I was struggling strongly with my reasoning as I kept thinking—the promises the Lord gave me, the message in which he instructed me on the City of God Community and Derrick—did I hear wrong? Did I allow my “self” to get into those messages? Did a lying spirit come in at some point, and I was so attached that I didn’t discern right? That actually is a lot easier for me to understand. All of these things have happened before but from the songs and the Rhemas the Lord had given me he was clear that it was him speaking to me and those messages were true. However, if it was the Lord, I was struggling to reason with why his promise didn’t come to pass because he is faithful—he doesn’t lie. But how could I reconcile this in my heart and mind as the enemy was pounding me with overwhelming thoughts of the complete opposite? Because I had been faithfully broken in this way every year with this promise and met with contradictions instead of a fulfilled promise. I didn’t know what to think. After this long attack of battling in my mind for over a week, He finally broke through.
After prayers, as I finally made a resolute decision to lay down with it and cling to the story of Job—that He didn’t have to give me a reason for doing what he does with me. And just like Job, all I could think to say was “…though he slay me, yet I will praise you”
However, Jesus, being my ever-compassionate spouse and friend, didn’t want to leave me there—although he is God, and he easily could have given no answer, because he doesn’t have to. But he did, out of love for me. What patience and graciousness he had towards me through this trial was for me because I was so hurt. And many couldn’t understand how personal this trial was for me. It wasn’t something I could just let go of so easily because it shook my faith and my relationship with Jesus to the very core. And I wasn’t the nicest spouse either. I had many unkind thoughts in my heart towards him I am ashamed to say but it’s honest.
I kept thinking, if I couldn’t trust Jesus and his word, then who could I trust? That is what I was feeling, and Lord knows I have been through so much to hold onto this promise when I wanted to let go of it so many times—but that is another video for another time.
So after receiving Him in Holy Communion I heard a flood of thoughts come in my mind as the Lord said this trial was a lesson, a lesson in going much deeper in detachment and abandonment. He wanted me detached completely even from the words and promises he gives me. That was new for me because were taught to cling to God’s Word, to stand on it because it’s unshakable. But as a Protestant, we are never really taught that the Lord can change his mind and to cling Him alone not to the promise, the work, or even the ministry. Corrie Ten Boom who became an evangelist and a hero during the Holocaust by saving so many Jews at the cost of her own family said, “I have learned to hold everything in my hands loosely, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.”
So I am learning as I came before Jesus saying, “Lord, I am understanding that this fiery trial is a lesson on detachment and greater abandonment to your will?”
Jesus responded, “Yes, My beloved one, you are burning beautifully”.
Really, Lord? I started laughing because that is a lyric from a song that has been on the minds of all of us at the house—as the Holy Spirit is playing that over and over again in our heads. It’s called “Refiner” by Maverick City—as the lyrics state;
I wanna be tried by fire,
You take whatever you desire,
Lord, here’s my life
You take whatever you desire,
Lord, here’s my life
You take whatever you desire,
Lord, here’s my life
Burn me beautiful
Burn me lovely
Burn me righteous
Burn me holy
“Yes, My little one, you are burning in holiness, in My righteousness, in purity, and amidst your tears, discouragement, and bouts of many doubts, you’re praising me and dancing through this fire. As I told you before, you will prevail—you and all the others that are in the fire. I am purifying My bride making her ready for our wedding day. As the time continues on the trials will get hotter for the temperature must be turned higher to bring a greater purity to all My beloved brides.
“My Mother did tell you about this, My little one. That you would have tests and trials in the coming days in different degrees, some hotter than others.” Here Jesus is referring to the message Crowns of Favor. “But know that it is all for your good, and My glory. Thank you for not leaving me, My beloved one. I know how hard this has been for you and tempted with one of the strongest compulsions you have ever had to leave my side. But I am faithful even when you are not and I am always constant and steady even when you waiver, to hold you steady to Me until your wandering heart conforms to mine and it is almost there.
“I am squeezing you and all My brides until the last drop—All for souls—as you have been teaching. I want that phrase to resound far and wide. I want it to be engraved upon the hearts of My brides and to clothe themselves in this selfless phrase. “All for souls”, because that is what it’s all about, My beloved little ones. Allow Me to use you as I please; pick you up, place where I please; do with you what I please, and allow all manner of things to you for my good pleasure for the salvation of souls.
“I want you to be completely dead so that I may live and move through you. So many don’t realize My life on earth was full of sacrifices. Every single day burdens I carried, inconveniences, many contradictions, and a constant change in conformity to the Father’s Will. He was My everything, His direction, His commands, His will was my everything, that is what I lived for. And I too had to learn suffering to be perfected in obedience.
“Do not think for one moment being separated from My Beloved Mother and stepfather in Jerusalem didn’t cause me anxiety too, and pain in My heart because I knew it would cause them much trouble and suffering. The Father always didn’t tell me what the outcome would be ahead of time, but I had to be obedient. When there were leaving in their caravan, He simply told me to stay behind and to not go with them. He didn’t tell me how long this separation would last.
“Although fully God I had laid down My Divinity and even My Divine Maturity to be like a child so that I may be led by My Father as a child as I too pondered in my heart and mind why the Father would ask me to do such a thing. But I yielded in full submission to His Will and began to walk away from them.”
As an aside, Jesus is referring to Luke 2:41–52, when, as a boy, Mary and Joseph lost Jesus for three days.
“It wasn’t until they left that He led me day by day as to where to go, where to listen to the rabbis and then He endowed Me with wisdom for that moment to confound the religious teachers and Pharisees of our day in the temple to show his power manifested through me, His Son. So when My Mother and My stepfather came questioning Me as to why I had caused them so much anxiety and stress, “I answered as My Father told Me to answer, ‘I was about His business’. Then I understood at that moment why it was vital to not only test the hearts of the religious leaders, but the hearts of My dear Mother and stepfather as the Father tested My Heart to ensure that I would be obedient to his every request, however absurd, and however contrary it was to my own reasoning. Do you understand now, My beloved little one?”
Yes, Lord, I am beginning to understand. You sounded so human.
“Yes, human I was fully in all things. I was led by the Father into the confusion. It is not a sin to be confused, but to submit to your confusion thereby causing you frustration, irritation, impatience, and resentment at God and His Will, is pride. That I never did. I was obedient to the Father unto death, and I am asking, desiring, and shaping all my brides to do the same.
“A pure soul who walks in detachment and abandonment only to divine providence is a soul that will be endowed with much glory, much favor, and much grace from on high. We see a soul like that from Heaven as a temple, an abode that we can not only dwell in but live in and live our lives through because they are so yielded to what we desire with no resistance. A soul truly that we can abide in and move and have our being.
“That is what the heroes of faith had become. My beloved brides. They were men and women so yielded to the My Will—fully abandoned and detached from their preferences, desires, and even the promises I gave them.”
As an aside he referring to Hebrews 11 where it talks about the heroes of faith in the Bible. I encourage you to read the whole chapter. It’s so refreshing and inspiring!
Hebrews 11:13 says, “These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.”
“They did not begin that way, it was a process for them, but they persevered. David, knowing his nothingness, and his sin, pleaded with me to save his first son with Bathsheba after his fall in adultery and murder. But after I took his son from him, He got up, rather, to eat and be merry not to curse me or be resentful at My Will because He knew I was good. I had heard his pleading, fasting, and prayer, but I had a different purpose in mind, and he submitted to that wholeheartedly.”
And that’s in 2 Samuel 13-24,
“Abraham, after waiting years for the promise of his son Isaac, and now having the joy and fruit of his years with him, was now asked by Me to put him on the altar—to sacrifice his greatest love for Me—and he did. Although with thoughts of confusion and reasoning, still submitted to abandon himself and detaching himself from his most beloved child and would have given him to Me if I didn’t intervene.
“He and many more—Paul and the apostles— did not come to see the fulfillment of many of my promises. The vision of all tribes and tongues worshiping Me in spirit and in truth as it is happening today. But they all believed, and it was counted to them as righteousness. They believed even when my word was not fulfilled in their lifetime because they were detached, and abandoned from their own understanding and what they desired. I am asking my brides to do the same in this hour and in this time.
“Many of you will continue to be tested this way. For I am not a man that I should lie and indeed not one Word from my mouth will return void but in the way I desire, and in the way that will bring the most glory to God. Detach, detach, detach, My beloved brides. Abandon yourself in complete trust to Me.
“You have been taught to pray many things away, to seek my hand to deliver you from your trials and give you rest. But this is the time for battle, and it bears repeating. My brides, I am not resting, I am fighting for the dear lives of souls daily, pleading, suffering, and praying that one would not perish, and I want you next to Me. Your life is the way of the cross, completely crucified with Me.
“Just a few years ago I asked the question through my servant, Mother Clare if you all would follow this way and those who didn’t want to climb this mountain, I said I would love them no differently, but they wouldn’t have intimacy with Me. And you all responded “yes” in your hearts, to climb this mountain with Me.
“It is only going to get steeper and harder as the months and days go on, My beloved ones, for My coming is very near. I will strengthen you for what is ahead, but I ask that you don’t turn back, please don’t give up, and don’t give in to the lies that are assailing you all. Finally, let go of your way, of your own expectations, and every time you pray or seek me simply say, “Nevertheless, Father, not my will be done, but Your Will be done,” and that is a prayer I will answer, as you detach and abandon yourself to the outcome, as we climb, fight, and suffer together—all for the salvation of souls. I love you so tenderly and I am so grateful for all that you have endured and persevered through. Please, we are almost at the finish line. I am walking and carrying your cross with you. Your faith has been accounted to you as righteousness. Trust me and abandon yourselves to me completely. We are in this together.”
That was the end of Jesus’ message.
Then I pulled a Rhema, and it said, “The devils are so angry because you keep on going, you do not stop, and they hate you for it.”
So don’t stop, brothers and sisters. Remember, All for souls! God bless you until the next message.