Hello, brothers and sisters Heartdwellers family. May you all receive the grace of favor gracefully showered upon you by Our Mother of Mercy.
The three ladies and I are getting adjusted here in Taos at the house. We follow the same schedule as the community on the mountain where we have four hours of prayer in the morning, then at one hour of medical training, then the hour of Divine Mercy prayers following that. We break for a little bit of work then dinner and afterward we gather at 6:30 pm to do our Rosary.
We were having our Rosary meeting in my room with Jesus exposed in the Eucharist. It was our normal Rosary. However, during the third decade, which focuses on the mystery of Pentecost, one of the sisters read the passage, “Then fire fell upon their heads,” and immediately, as I had my eyes closed, I felt an overpowering sensation fall upon my head. It overtook my whole body. It was as if something was being poured all over me starting with my head. The sensation felt so sweet it literally took my breath away. I felt like I was about to explode as I was enraptured, intoxicated, and losing control of my body. I felt limp but at the same time, I could feel something in front of me, stopping me from tipping over. Then I felt the sensation on my head get really heavy—so heavy that I began to lean over, and I thought for sure I was going down. But again, something stopped me. I felt it was my Guardian angel and I was allowed to rest my head on him. I began to breathe shallow breaths because the sensations and feelings were so overwhelming. I then was unable to continue the Rosary. I could no longer speak but take deep shallow breaths. I had experienced this before a couple of times, and I always wondered what was happening in the spirit. Sometimes I am given a mantle, other times anointing oil is being poured on me, and other times it’s a crown. While all of this was happening, I was hoping it wasn’t a crown, [laugh] because a crown always means a trial, and the LORD crowns you ahead of time as a sign to you that you will indeed get through the trial he is about to allow.
However, the crowns I had received in the past never felt this heavy and never overtook all my faculties like this before. I just didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t tell the girls anything, as well, as I kept shouting aloud in my mind, “Please ladies, one of you get a Rhema. Get a Rhema as to what is going on”, but to no avail. They couldn’t hear me and continued on with the Rosary. Once they got done with the Rosary, they both lingered for a bit as one of them thought I was asleep. I too lingered in the LORD’s presence, still unable to properly move or speak. Then a few seconds later I was able to move my hands and speak a bit as I told them I wasn’t asleep but to please get a Rhema, as I spoke still between breaths, wondering if the LORD would bring clarity as to what just happened to me. The Rhemas were good but not really clear and didn’t seem to relate to this amazing experience I just had. After the ladies left, I had to lie down because my body was unable to stand up. I felt like a limp noodle, slain by the Holy Spirit. So I laid down as I heard a voice gently say, “A crown of favor was given thee”. I was still in a state of recollection and trying to make sense of everything and wondered, “Could that be you Mother?”
So after about 30 minutes or so, I came to myself and got up to begin working. I went to the Bible Promises to discern something. However, the Holy Spirit redirected me and made it clear that he then wanted me to listen for a message. I knew it was Blessed Mother prompting me, so I began writing. I’m here, Mother I’m here.
Our Mother of Mercy began,
“Thank you for following the promptings of the Holy Spirit to come to me and be attentive to my every word. I have missed speaking to you, Little One, but I am ever so close to you, your Mother of Mercy. It was I this morning that took your burdens, your tears, and your worries in the depths of My Immaculate Heart. Thank you for placing them all in my hands.”
As an aside, she is talking about what happened that morning. This past week has been really rough as I realized the promise of a summer wedding and us leaving soon for the City of God Community in Ghana would not come to pass, yet again. I hadn’t heard from Derrick for weeks now as I had been fighting to keep hope alive—This would be the fourth time the LORD had tested me this way with this promise, and it is so painful. My heart was war-torn. If I can be honest with you guys, I was hurting so badly full of resentment, hopelessness, frustration, and my heart was sick again because I was promised I wouldn’t be
disappointed, and I bared my soul to you all as we have fasted and prayed and prayed and fasted in hopes that things would happen just like He said. But my heart was sick. The scripture, Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Sorrow had been drowning my heart for three days as I was trying to make sense of it all—reasoning with myself as I knew my faith was under severe attack. I was struggling to trust the LORD as the enemy was pelting me with so many lies and arguments that seemed sound but were tearing at the fabric of my relationship with Jesus—causing me to mistrust Him, mistrust every word he had spoken as I began to doubt all the other messages that He had given me and was fearful to hear from him again. It was really bad. As I was finding no relief or answers from Jesus. I finally cried out to Blessed Mother in tears wit my heart in such anguish. I then saw her during prayer standing before me. With her hands open, I handed her everything in my heart—Derrick, the promise, City of God Community, my doubts, my fears, my disappointments, my anger, everything. She took each one tenderly and removed a small thin veil that covered her heart and placed each item inside her heart like a little compartment stored away in her—as I knew that now she not only had my burdens, but she carried them in her heart, and I felt such a relief at that very moment.
Our Mother of Mercy continued,
“When you give me your promises, your hopes, desires, and dreams, I in turn, give you My Son’s hopes and dreams and true desires for you. You can never go wrong with a swap like that.” [As she smiled]
I then began to be filled with contrition. Pouring out my heart in repentance and confession of my sins and the horrible attitude I have had. Before I could utter a word to confess, she read my thoughts and said:
“There is no need to go on confessing all your wrongs, your misery, and wretchedness. Yes, we know. He knows, and we still love you very much. I am here to bring you reassurance and to restore, to you hope, My beloved little one.”
Mother you all are so merciful and gracious towards me.
Our Mother Of Mercy responded, “It is my Son’s love for you that brings me to you and the cry of your heart. How can I deny when my little ones cry out to me? I am your Mother, and I too have cried alongside you amidst your pain and confusion, but I want you to relinquish all for the love of Jesus. He is doing something you can’t not quite understand, but it will work out for your good and be very good. Trust Him, ok?”
“Today you were given a crown of favor.”
Uh-oh Mother, that always means a trial.
“Yes, Beloved One, the way chosen out for you is a thorny one. Your life will be full of daily trials—some larger and in different degrees, but you cannot escape this life without a trial, and you have asked to be near Jesus. You have given yourself to him as his bride. That means to be on the cross with him continually. Please don’t run from this or worse, resent and despise this. Oh, how that hurts Him the most.
“It may not be the most favorable place to be on earth, but on the other side of Heaven you will bow down, lay all your crowns down at His feet in thanksgiving and in awe at His Goodness towards you. That although as unworthy as you are, you have been chosen to share and have great glory with Him in Heaven. The crown of favor is a heavy one, the same one I was crowned with, My little dove. Like Mother, like daughter [she smiled]. It consists of a band of scorn, engravings of obedience, molds of humility, gems, and jewels of patience and perseverance. Diamond jeweled rope of charity and stained crosses embedded all around. This crown brings with it all of these virtues as you rise in favor before God and man. But it always comes with a cost, Beloved, and did you not say, ‘yes’ this morning to the cost?”
I did Mother, I did—first hesitantly then with zeal. It’s just been such a weary and long battle in all things. I have nothing left.
And as an aside, this morning the LORD played a song over me called, “Yes to the Cost”. I sang it hesitantly at first then with my whole heart. I will share this song with you all in the next message.
Our Mother of Mercy continued,
“Good, that is very good, for you had nothing in the first place. All that you thought you had was given to you from Jesus and when he breaks and empties you it’s not that he takes what he has given to you away. Rather that He has carved another place in your heart that was full of self-love, selfishness, and pride making it hollow so that He can fill you with more treasures of graces and gifts. That is the emptiness you’re feeling. He is going much deeper with you and cleaning a lot more area in your heart, making room for all that He is to give you. That is what happened tonight. When the LORD gives you the great and immense privilege to have His glory rest upon you, don’t be so quick to leave that place of submission and helplessness. He does His greatest work in those moments. Be still and know that He is God, just as you did today. You received a heavenly deposit and a Heavenly crown to persevere in the coming tests and trials that await you, but you will be victorious. My beloved little ones, crowns of favor are coming for you all and for many, the LORD’s glory will overtake you. Please be in a place of readiness to receive all that He wants to give you. Too many times men cry out for God’s glory, for His physical tangible presence, but when it comes, they don’t linger. They are quick to go to the next song, the next prayer, and the next thing to do on their list. Wait on the LORD, my beloved ones, wait and linger. Be expectant for what he is going to do.
“I desire to speak to you often like this, my beloved little one. So make yourself available every time as Mother Clare has during the Rosary, and wisdom from above will be given to you and for the group. I leave you now with great hope, with My hope within you. For nothing can steal what has been given to you tonight. But you must trust and believe, always moving forward. I am your Mother of Mercy and you and all your little ones are seated with Me and My Son on thrones in Heavenly places.”
That was the end of Our Mother Of Mercy’s message.
God bless you guys until the next message.