Hello, brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers family. May you all be blessed I think this may be a season of not only healing and restoring marriages, but I think the Lord is putting many marriages together because he has been speaking on that and has me sharing the most intimate struggles of my heart. I also received an email from a young married woman who has a troubled marriage and I thought, “Lord, there must be quite a few Heartdwellers who have marriage on their hearts too”. So this message is not just for her, but for those dealing with a troubled marriage and those who are praying for, preparing, and about to get married.
She writes:
“I really need help! I have been suffering in silence for a while, just believing that whatever is hindering my marriage, will leave, and I still do believe in the Lord’s restoration. It’s about my husband, he said that I have changed and become so much like Jesus that he doesn’t recognize me anymore; that I don’t resemble, at all, the girl who was just like him, and that it is hard for him to share himself or what he likes with me anymore because I have put up too many barriers pushing him away. He feels like Jesus is taking me away from him and that he bears no significance in my life. He feels I have become over religious.
You see when we met, I was still in the world, and we were both searching for God. When I started listening to Jesus through Mother Clare, I found out I could go deeper with God, and I decided to give it a try and seek Him. It wasn’t until I got married that I got really serious about Jesus. He began to show me my sins and my flaws, and my desire was to be more like him. And I thought it was the same desire for my husband. I began to spend more time in prayer and to be careful of what I watched and what I did to please God. I began to desire to live a holy life. I presumed my husband was on the same page, so anything he did that I knew would displease the Lord, I would tell him about and give a suggestion of a better way of doing it. There are certain things I could not watch or listen to anymore and I thought he would be on board. But I now realize he has resented me for telling him what we should do and can’t do. He feels I am now judgmental and over religious.
We sleep in separate rooms because our infant son sleeps in the bed with me. My husband has come to like his space and says he needs his alone time in the evening, so I am left taking care of our son. He doesn’t like me entering into the room unannounced and locks the door at night. He spends most of his time in his room. When I have brought it up, he says it’s my fault that he is in there. I am worried about our marriage and his soul and the future of our children. But I don’t know what to do. I know he loves us, and he keeps telling me he is pursuing the Lord, but in the end, feels empty inside. I am worried for his soul. Please, if there is any advice you can give me, I would so appreciate it.”
After reading that I was taken aback and felt the pain, of this young one in my heart, and her suffering in this marriage. I kept thinking, “Lord this is such a heavy cross for her to endure”. I was going to write back and just give her my words of wisdom because I was sympathetic towards her. But I love Jesus because his thoughts and perspective are always higher than what we see and feel. So, although I was going to address her, as I said in my heart, “Lord, my heart is hurting for this soul; I understand, and it’s so painful when you have to carry the cross in a relationship”, surprisingly, Jesus responded to me and began to speak to me about her situation.
Jesus began,
“He is carrying his own cross too, Beloved; of torment, of abuse, replaying in his mind, and the demons constantly jumping on him day and night with thoughts and lies of his being a failure just like his father; that he will end up being an abuser, and a deadbeat. That nothing he does is good enough, not even for God. That he can never truly be loved because he is not worthy of being loved. These demons barrage him constantly. So he runs to comfort outside of Me and outside of his marriage, to simply dull the pain of his past and the tormenting thoughts in his present circumstances. I am not justifying his sins, but I am saying there is strong demonic influence behind all that he does and the decisions he makes because of the oppression he, too, is under.
My children must understand that marriage is a union I put together to sanctify souls; to call them higher in love and to transform them into my likeness. If everything in your marriage were perfect, then how would you grow? It is through the fire that souls are refined and purified as gold. When I put two people together, I take into consideration all that they will have to deal with: their bloodline, their family ties, their upbringing, and their love for Me, most importantly. I know the expected end of all things, and how I wish my little ones would trust me more. If you know I have brought you two together and you are my will for him, and he is my will for you, let that be your anchor, and do not allow any storm to overtake you. If your path in marriage is strewn with difficulty, thorns, struggles, and much sacrifice, press in my beloved ones, it is because of the high calling I have upon both of you. Highly spiritual couples will be attacked because I am teaching them to endure and to fight this good fight of faith within marriage. Because that is the area Satan has attacked the most and has been victorious. But that is all about to change. I am turning the father’s heart back to me again which will, in turn, turn them back to their families.
To these precious souls, I have heard the cry of your heart, I have seen your tears and your loneliness. My beloved one, I gave you this difficult soul because you said you loved me, and I knew you wouldn’t give up on him as others would and have. I will answer your prayer as soon as I use him to finish perfecting you. You see, one person in every marriage has to be Christ and carry a heavier burden upon their cross. And many times, I have called the women in marriages to do that. It is safe to say that a marriage can be held together or broken by the women in all marriages. You all have been given special graces and anointings to be a support and to carry your husbands and families even when it’s difficult. It was no coincide when I said that a wife sanctifies her unbelieving husband.”
As an aside, He is referencing 1 Corinthians 7:14, “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”
“My dear one, it is by your prayers, your love, and your patience that he will be transformed. Sure, there are things he has said that have been hurtful. Please know he was speaking from his pain and the lies of demons whispering into his ear.
You see, in a marriage when one of the souls begins to climb higher and go deeper with me, the devils wait for an opportune time to jump on the other spouse, who is lukewarm and lackluster, with jealously, resentment, irritation, and anger. But truly, they want what you have …they desire Me, and they see that in you. However, when you began to walk in self-righteousness, being the voice of reason of what to do and what not to do, it inflates the demons even more and gives them ammo, to use against you and on your spouse, to attack you. How do you remedy this? humility, humility, humility. The greater your intimacy with me goes, the greater humility you must walk in. If you truly believe we are one, I need you to trust me more. Let him go completely, and just love him where he is.
You have seen the scene in The War Room; when the young man was about to cheat on his wife, and she was told, by a friend with a picture, that her husband was out with another woman, what did she do? She responded first, in covering for him, making sure, before her friends and others, he had a good reputation, saving his character and speaking favorably about the situation, rather than what she felt in her gut.
Furthermore, she ran to Me and began to intercede for her husband’s protection and conviction, and that anything he would do in darkness would be exposed. Not so she would be right, but so that he could walk in good standing with Me and be a man of integrity. That is a powerful prayer to pray, My beloved ones with ‘The Troubled Marriages’. It would do you all good to visit that movie again.”
Wow, he is so right! When I watched that scene, I was amazed at the wife’s self-control. Because I don’t know any women who would have done what she did. She didn’t run to family, to friends, to anyone, but just cried out to God. Not only that, when he got home, she never mentioned it to him but was in full peace and showed great love towards him, trusting God had this. And sure enough, God did. If you haven’t seen the movie, I encourage you all to watch it.
Jesus continued,
“It showed the power of prayer and trusting in Me solely, to come to her defense. She didn’t even mention it when she saw him. And all those acts of mercy the wife did, were stored up for the right time. And in his brokenness, her kindness drew him to repentance. Do you see that is how I work, My brides? It is by your love that will draw your husbands and wives to repentance. Don’t fight each other, fight the demons, in prayer, assigned to your spouses, and love them in patience, and I will come to your defense. Too many times it is impatience, unforgiveness, and bitterness that cause divorce because you feel I am not working quickly enough. But my timing is perfect., and I am a just God. No one gets away with anything. So you can trust Me, if you feel something is amiss, in time I will bring it forth into the light of truth to redeem and restore the damage done.
My beautiful one, you are not alone, and all is not lost, nor will your future children be lost. I have great plans for you two. You won’t believe the man he will become when I get ahold of his heart. And I have allowed all these things now at the beginning of your marriage so it will not destroy you both later. I am growing you in the virtue of patience, long-suffering, and most importantly brotherly love, to love as I do. Continue to pray, trust, let go of your wants, preferences, and desires of how things should be. Be faithful to me always and walk in humility, when it comes to your husband, and I will do the rest in my perfect timing.”
That was the end of Jesus’ message.
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