Hello brothers and sisters and Heartdwellers family. May you all be blessed.
The Lord was giving me readings on “Laziness” almost everyday for a bout a week. I went through my thoughts discerning what he was trying to address to me. Wether I was being lazy in hearing his voice, lazy with the shepherding this flock, lazy with the work he has called me to do in the community. Lazy practicing virtue or Laziness with my gifts. I was uncertain and a little offended to say the least.
Many have no idea how communal life is very taxing. You are put in a place where you no longer live for yourself but for the sake of others. And every person has a part to contribute to the lively hood of the community or it cant be sustained. I am called to work in the kitchen and cook amongst other things. So many times I get up, I spend about 4 hours in prayer to fill up on Jesus, then have about 2 half hours to work on a message and send one or two emails then I am off to work at Mother Clare’s 4 to 5 hours and many times longer because intercession comes up, or project needs to be done. Once I finish and come home I have on average 2 hours to work which is usually spent on editing 1 message. Then I go into adoration from 9-11pm. Once I get done with that then I finally have time to work on this ministry staying up 12 to many times 2 or 3 am in the morning. So I am pooped and learning to do all this with a heart of gratitude and without complaint which I fail at many times. Lord please forgive me.
The Lord finally made it clear to me that I was being Lazy using my gifts. I thought to myself which gift Lord? I kept presuming it was hearing from him and getting a messages. So I stayed up for 3 nights trying to get all my messages done, edited and uploaded on the channel that is why you all were consistently being fed this past week. Then he made it clear it was about my gift of music. I got a rhema from our Sunday community meeting that said St. Cecila who is the patron of worshippers and Mother Clare chimed in that the Lord was calling me to really get serious about music, playing the piano specifically. I have tried doing this in the span of 5 years, but I never have followed through with finishing my lessons or getting serious about playing the piano. Personally I always desired to play the guitar but he wants me to do piano.
One time as I was living with my mother the Lord began to really prompt me to starts playing the piano. We had a big keyboard there, that I didn’t care for. Every time I would try to play, I felt so uninspired so I didn’t take it up as he asked. At that time I was using the walk in closet as my prayer closet, and my nieces and nephews were playing in the room. When I opened the door to the prayer closet to pray, there was the keyboard perfectly placed on my pillow that I use for prayer. I thought really Lord the kids must’ve threw it in there, but I knew it was Jesus saying, play the piano.
So being here in the community I have tried but I haven’t been consisted because of my schedule and this ministry which takes up so much of my time. The last thing on my mind is to stop what I am doing to learn how to play the piano.
So that night when Jesus gave me Laziness in the Bible promises for the 6th time at 2 am, after I had staying up to do the messages, my body shaking from fatigue, so tired because I wanted to go to bed instead, I was offended as all these thoughts came to my mind of how I am trying my best to please him, and this is too much, to hard, Im tired, does He treat anyone like this, complaint, after complaint after complaint in my heart towards him.
He then made it clear I was being lazy about playing the piano and he wanted me to start that night. Rather than going to sleep I needed to stay up and play. Out of my fatigue I cried just wanting to give up before I started because I didn’t know want to do that and also meet with the reality that I was just simply lazy.
So I sucked up my tears, mustered whatever courage I had and told him to please help me because I do want to do his will but I have no inspiration or desire but I will do it anyway because I love him and he has asked me to.
Would you know it guys, it was the most amazing night! I did my piano lesson from this package I purchased a while back called Worshippiano.com which took about 30 minutes and I though okay it wasn’t so bad, now I can sleep. Then I felt a nudge that Jesus just wanted me to “play”. Father Ezekiel once told me playing a new instrument you can get bogged down with the formalities and get easily discouraged but the first word to playing any instrustument is what? Play, so just play and the Lord will take it from there. So I did, I just began to hit different keys, and notes then I found some chords that really stuck. They sounded good so I played it over and over again and before I knew it a melody and song was coming. I began to sing the song with the keys I was playing as lyrics began to flood my mind. I was amazed then I got stuck on the chorus as I waited for inspiration to come to me with my hands on the keys. Then all of a sudden my pinky began to move on its own rapidly, like it had a spasm but the note it made was beautiful. My brain didn’t even register what was happening besides hearing this beautiful chord and not knowing where it was coming from. Once my pink stopped moving I realized what just happened as I looked at Jesus in the Eucharist amazed thinking, Jesus did you just play that note through me? Included that note with the chord and it was beautiful! I knew it was him and I began laughing in amazement thinking wow Jesus is really here playing with me and through me. Not only that although I went to sleep so late and initially I was so tired when I stared. Once I was done playing I felt so revived. I had a wonderful nights rest and actually woke up earlier than I would if I had gone to sleep early and was refreshed, strengthen and restored ready for the day!
The next morning during worship the Lord played a song, called “the song of Mary” and I imemeaditly knew it was a confirmation of what happened the night before because the lyrics and song he gave me where about Mother Mary! I was like #hushjesushush. Then he played a song over me by Laura Haccket and the lyrics are about playing the song of your heart, not being silent and that the world needs to hear the song of beauty, the world needs to hear the song of my heart. I was like wow, okay Lord he was really affirming the song he gave me, to finish it and to share with everyone. So I came before him after prayer saying,
Good morning my love,
The song by Laura Haccket keeps playing in my head, that the world needs to hear the song from my heart. I cant help, but think the amazing time we had last night when I finally decided to press in despite how I was feeling and yield to your promptings to began playing the piano. Thank you Lord for inspiring me by giving me a melody and song. If I can be honest Jesus, I was a little offended when you gave me laziness because I was so tired and feel stretched all the time, but your always right Lord and meet us with graces when we respond to your call.
Jesus what’s on your heart?
“Oh my beloved how pleased I am with you for pulling through the mire of doubt, complacency and laziness do you see what I am able to do?“
Yes Lord it was quite amazing and had me thinking this morning how much I lack confidence in you and just how good you are to me, thank you Lord
“Thank my Mother too beloved she intercedes for you daily as her beloved daughter. This gift of singing and music is a gift she merited for you. She would sing all the time in Nazareth to Me as a child and even aa a little boy. Her songs of hymns and praise would fill my heart not only as her son, but as her God, a sweet smelling incense before Me. She embodied worship, her life was given in complete adoration, praise and worship to the God head. You could say she was heaven on earth because she was. Everywhere where she went and in everything she did was praise before the Fathers throne. She lived before him as though one without a viel as the angels who accompanied her everywhere during her lifetime continually sung praises. That is one of the many reasons why, she is so hated by Satan. She was a creature who took his place of worship, although on earth she lead the choir of angels in songs, hymns and melody’s many times.”
Wow, I said! Just like in the audio book Lord, birds would come to her and Josephs place and would sing to her and with her.
“Exactly my beloved, she was a walking spiritual edifice of praise and she loves to hear you sing. So sing beloved, play and write don’t think of the results, but simply worship from your heart as you did yesterday and melody’s from Heaven and songs will be given to you. Enlist My Mothers’ help because she is always next to you. It was not I who gave you the melody yesterday, but her and her angels where right there assisting you. I have given you completely to her and this gift will be used to bring Me much glory and Her honor as well. To touch men’s heart to open themselves up to the love of their Heavenly Mother and to draw my lost and wandering brides into my chambers. Every evening work a little each night and don’t get slack with these graces or give into exhaustion or lack of inspiration. Just come each day and play in obedience and love for Me, I will do the rest.
To my beloved brides, I am calling you out of your bed of laziness. I know it may seem like strong words, but that is what many of you have been hit with. You have given into the symptoms of your body, your flesh, and many lies of the enemy to stop you from move forward in the gifts I have given you. Trust me and preserver anyway when you don’t feel like it and I will meet you my grace to carry you through. In fact you will leave refreshed, inspired, and strengthened. You see in you gifts also lies your anointing and my oil never runs out, nor does it leave you dry, but the oil from my heart flows down with the graces, deep within the crevices of your heart. As it runs from the top of your head all the way down to the soles of your feet to enrich every part of your being, to do my will and to do what you were created for. There are many gifts, but one body and my body cannot function properly when you are not using your gifts. Despite how small, insignificant you feel, you are needed. To some I have given a gift of prayer, writing, creative arts, admin task, speaking, serving, and music and so much more. If you don’t know your gifts, ask me.
To many of you I have already made it clear, but you continue to sit on your hands quite literally and waiting until you feel like it, but those feeling will never come until you move forward and do it anyway. You say, “you don’t have time” and I say, you will have much time when you sacrifice something you want to do by putting my desires first. Many of you cram needless activity within your day which tires you. Then when you do have a little bit of time you use for yourself, to relax, to take a break, to rest, that is the worlds ways of living. I came to do the will of the Father and you can’t imagine how many days and nights my body was exhausted, but I knew my life was not my own and if the Father demanded much of Me, He would help Me to do all He ask. So live for Me, my beloved brides, even give Me your personal time you set aside for yourself, to work on your gifts and you will see what I will do to restore your time and every sacrifice given up for Me. Ask My Spirit to do all things through you. He is the minister of all gifts and through you, in you and with you, you will do marvelous things to draw all men to Me“.
That was the end of Jesus message
I finally completed the song and I am excited to share it with you guys in the upcoming messages. It’s not anything professional by any means, its simple but from the heart. Many times the enemy will hit us with comparison when cultivating our gifts and will cause you to want to be like others, or imitate another but the Lord has made it clear each of us is very unique. It doesn’t matter how our voice sounds, how we play, or the results of our work because its in the anointing. Each of you carry an anointing that will touch specific souls. So I pray once I share the song it will encourage others to play and sing freely as the Lord leads you not caring how you sound to others but knowing the Lord can always use and will always anoint a song from the heart.
Also as Jesus made it clear it’s important to discern his will. I had pushed myself to get messages and ministry work done because I thought that is what he meant by laziness. When I simply was in self-will. I was doing what I wanted to do with my time rather then doing what Jesus wanted me to do with His time and because of that I was being lazy. So please seek the Lord always what he wants you to do with His time because your life is never your own any more when you give it to Jesus. He wants everything and many times we allow our flesh to get in the way by to easily being moved by what you feel rather than what He wills and his grace will always be sufficient for us. I am now very confident of that.
Another thing is, the Lord has given each of us a measure of faith and graces. For Heartdwellers he has given us much graces to do his work, we are so blessed and to whom much is given much is required. So to your other Christian friends who are believers, he may not demand much from them, but to you he may demand much, much more because he knows the graces he wants to give you to accomplish what he is asking of you. So please don’t turn Jesus down or keep him waiting any longer and better yet, recognize the areas you have been lazy and laxed with what he has asked of you, requested of you and inspired you to do and now ask him for the grace to make time for you to do what he is asking and rely on his grace to do it through you. God bless you family until the next message.