March 13, 2020 Journal Entry
I had someone very close to me call yesterday. I was really glad to hear from that because I wanted to thank them for a book and a card they had sent me. Boy was I in for a surprise because I hadn’t talked to this person for a while and it seemed they had much on their heart.
I have mentioned to you guys in the previous post that I was just getting my confidence in hearing From Jesus again and sharing the messages he was giving me.
I had posted a message about President Donald Trump on my Facebook page just a few days earlier before receiving this call. The Lord was affirming his re-election and presidency. So this person wasn’t too happy about that. They were very angry and disappointed about things the Lord had told me to share on social media. I knew it was the enemy speaking through them to discourage me from writing or having faith that I was hearing from the Lord because that is exactly where he hit.
As this person went on to say that I wasn’t hearing From Jesus and not only that I would get more likes and gain popularity if I would stay away from prophecies, end times message and politics because in every generation they always say “Jesus is coming” and no one knows the day or the hours. That I should just focus on preaching the gospel like other ministers do. At first I was a bit shocked then all I could do was laugh inside because I knew it was sooo the enemy really trying to discourage me from writing. As the person continued to rant on the phone I thought to myself “really Satan that all you got”. He is good at doing that for all those who desire to follow Jesus whole heartedly. The Lord releases a grace on you and the enemy can see the areas you are struggling with. As his demons taunt you with doubt, unbelief, and fear concerning what the Lord is calling you to do. You struggle interiorly and even in prayer you cry out to the Lord about it. Then satan sends someone to tempt you or scorn you concerning that very thing. To cause you to question, second guess yourself or feed into that doubt. However, if you recognize him immediately that he loses every time. We all can be used by the devil, he uses weak Christians to attack others. I have been there myself.
This is the second time the, the devil, has pulled this one on me. I remember in my second year walking with Jesus I would press in fervently in the Lord presence in prayer at my apartment. It seemed my life had become just work and prayer. I wasn’t seeing any real fruit then nor any real consolations so I found myself being discontent, frustrated and thinking about being more laxed. The thought kept rising in my head “just live a little”, go out have some fun”..Remember the old days, see you gave your life to the Lord and look at it now, its not fun at all”. As all these thoughts assailed me I did tell the Lord in prayer that I just wanted to live a little because my life was just all about prayer, but soon realized how foolish it was and repented. I even did a blog about it, you can read here.
Then the very next day my brother in law comes over and says the exact same words to me. That I am not called to be a pastor and I am trying to be “holy ,holy” I should just live a little. I thought to myself waaaa, was he here in my apartment yesterday when I was crying?? Of course not, but the demons were and they knew very well how to tempt me. All I could do was laugh thinking “uh uh not today Satan, not today”. Imagine if I would’ve listened to those senseless thoughts and suggestions from the devils and others. I wouldn’t be where I am with Jesus today, 4 years later.
So after this person got done giving me their opinion, I kindly told them I respected their stance, I loved them, but I had to listen to the Lord and wasn’t at all interested in likes or popularity only Gods will. After I got off the phone I wasn’t even offended, but I did repent for impatience and frustration in my heart towards them. It actually made me want to pray more because I realize how so many, even Christians are blinded and hardened to the reality of the times that we are living. So I stayed up and prayed for them and souls who are just like him. They just don’t know, Father forgive them because I too was one as I came before Jesus saying,
Lord, do you have anything on your heart you would like to share?
“I’m here little one, continue to write my beloved thank you for stopping to discernment.
(I had to stop because the voice I was hearing was very condescending on others and I knew it wasn’t the Lords heart So the first two readings got “laziness”, and “long life” in the BP to walk in the way of the Lord. So I bound any lying spirits and continued to write)
yes by faith beloved continue writing by faith. We are one and I do dwell within you as I mentioned I am a breath away. It truly is easy as breathing just write what is flowing from your heart little one. I am indeed astounded at the profound unbelief in my body and in my brides little one. So many have made me a “thing”, a “religion”, or even “a religious idea”, but they truly have no faith to believe in me or in my words little one. How it grieves me, so many have taken my words, my promises and my warnings for granted. This soul was right to say that many ministers preach the gospel, but it’s just their own gospel it is not my gospel dear one. You are called to do My will and not the will of man. How many chosen shepherds have strayed away because of the fear of man. Strayed way because of the scorn and contempt they would face if they spoke truth and lived by the truth, but I am upsetting the apple cart. I am doing a new thing. I am raising the lowly, the over looked, the rejected, the unwise, and unlearned.
Those who will follow me and worship me alone in spirit and truth. Those who will lay down their lives for my service and that of their brothers. Those who care not of the accolades, the respect or honor of men, but live for what heaven says alone. We are indeed in the days of Noah. Oh how my faithful servant tarried for so many years, 120 years to be exact. What do you think the people said, the same thing they say now. “Your foolish, your calling bluff, your crying wolf, your inciting fear, preach something we want to hear, what rain..it has never rained.”
As my people say, “what coming?”. “Yes, you have been saying the Lord is coming for a while now, for years, even centuries”, but my people have fallen asleep. Oh how my apostles faced the same scrutiny and contempt in preaching the coming kingdom. So do not be dismayed or discouraged my little one, you may be small in stature, but in me you stand tall and will continue to do so. Tell them my beloved one of their offenses towards me. Tell them I am indeed coming and I am looking for pure hearts and clean hands. Those who have ears to hear will hear. Those who continue to rely on their own opinion, own agendas and own desires will fall at the waste side. Pray for them dear ones, pray for them fervently. For your King is coming and has his reward in hand!
This is all for now my little one, my very precious little one .I love you dearly my beloved child. Go now in the peace and courage of your God.”
-From Jesus With Love