“Each Of Them Is Jesus In Disguise”- Mother Teresa
I love that quote from above because in fact that what the Lord has been teaching me as I am babysitting my three nieces and nephews for the past few months. I found myself feeding my beautiful nieces Elly who is 8 months, and in my heart frustrated at my circumstances and honestly resenting the fact that I seem to have no time to “work on MY stuff”. Which is alot of ministry work I do online and as this fleeting thought crossed my mind as I was feeding her the bottle as the Lord gently interrupted my thoughts to say, “Look at her, every time you feed her your feeding me. Your holding baby Jesus”. I began to recognizes how foolish I had been these past few months. I thought about how our savior came as a baby himself and I don’t know if Mary ever had someone watch Jesus who knows. lol Maybe her cousin Rachel and imagine her being frustrated because she had better things to do thank watch Jesus. Sounds so silly but all of these thoughts came to my mind at that moment and I found myself repenting before the Lord.
These few months he indeed has been revealing how impatience I am and can be easily angered by children nonetheless. What is so sad is that I loooove children…honestly I really do lol I know that is part of my ministry. I would love to help and love on orphaned kids. However, how can I show unconditional love, patience and grace to broken, abused orphaned kids and not to my own nieces (slap to the face) Lord help me lol. So when the Lord called me back to my moms house a few months ago I just didn’t understand. Then having me work a full time job to being released from that job to now babysitting full time 3 beautiful, firecracker girls everyday has been quite of an adjustment for sure. The Lord gave me this rhema when I asked why he called me back home.
“Charity begins at home
Love
Love until it hurts that is how Jesus loved”
Which has been becoming a reality ever day as the days pass on. I can get so anxious about my situation at times thinking Lord when, again, when again seems like I am always waiting. Now recognizing I am still waiting because it seems I still have A LOT to learn and dying to self. You see a couple months ago I got a job marketing an online ministry which I was so excited about. Besides that I have this blog to write weekly, Thinking that watching my nieces is not “ministry work” so I would hurriedly get one ready for school, feed the others and anxiously rush to get to work online. I found myself being easily irritated or impatience when I would be interrupted ( now I am like Nana they are kids for goodness sakes that’s what they do best smh).
I found the Lord chastising me in my alone time with my lack of patience and my frustration concerning my circumstance rather than thanking him. He began to remind me once again, that He is right here with me and I am doing none of this alone unless I wanted too. So I should see him on the couch with me when I watch them play, changing the diapers with me, fixing their bottles with me in the kitchen, just so ever present with me through it all. Not only that but to see him in each of my nieces. That in Elly (10 month) I get to witness baby Jesus growing up before my eyes, that in my (3 year old) niece I get too see Toddler Jesus growing up and my (4 yearold) niece Zay Zay I get to take care of a paralysis Jesus. He indeed is in each of them, so as I serve by nieces I am serving Jesus! One day sometime last week he told me to leave my work and enter into child like grace by playing with the kids for an hour. Oh how refreshing it was! So I am learning even in the waiting the most important thing is not the destination, or even what you do but that you recognize that HE is with you. Furthermore he loves to be invited in your day in the most minimalist task to not only be with you but DO it all with you. So will you invite Jesus to DO “it” with you you? Whatever that “it” maybe , why not let “it’ be EVERYTHING you do….do it with JESUS!
(Firecracker #1 Zay Zay)
(Firecracer #2 Naomi )
(Firecracker #3 Elly Noel 10 months)
Matthew 25:45
“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
-From Jesus with Love
Hi Nana,
I came across your website when I googled the search term :”why does God hide you?” That is when I found your website or should I say your website found me. It was no accident or coincidence but divine intervention. I began reading your “Blogs” one after the other and each time I read them I felt as if someone had been recording much of my life. You see Nana, I was driven into the wilderness a few years ago and that is where God met me and began to work on me. During my wilderness experience I had some heart issues that needed to be dealt with such as anger, bitterness and resentment that resulted from hurt, disappointment and betrayal from family and friends. You see Nana, I always put them first and when my world began to fall apart there was no one there but God. To make a long story short, I am taking care of my child and an elderly mother that has one sickness after another. There were so many days I felt frustrated and said, “Why me Lord?” What have I done to deserve this? But I realize that God wants to use me and the afflictions and trials that I faced (unemployment, Depression, Caregiving etc.) is not in vain but for a greater purpose. So I want to say thank you Nana and I know that God is calling you to something higher and greater. Be blessed my sister because all is well and you are on the right path because when you think nothing is happening, everything is happening. Rejoice, because you are “Coming out of Lodebar.”
Hello Wanda, what a pleasure to connect with you and your comment just came at the right time you have no idea. Haha the Lord is great how he encourages us because that is what your comment did right when I opened me email. So God bless you, my sister truly in the spirit 🙂 You sure are right that the Lord desires to change our heart attitudes in the process and not only that but to be able to see him in our family members we have to take care of. Its all leads to us dying to yourself and most importantly I believe he allows us to be least of all so we continue to cling and rely on him all that the more. But just like you still learning not to complain and murmur maaaan I think I am worse than the Israelite’s lol I also love what you said when it looks like nothing is happening everything is! Will be praying for the Lord to abound you in more Grace of thankfulness and healing for your mother!! All the charity your doing is not in vain as well, companionship will be on its way soon. God bless you lets stay connected as well!