These past few weeks had been some rough trials mostly just in my heart. For a moment I found myself taking my eyes off of Jesus yet again and looking at the waves and storms. Which caused me to anguish, fear and then just doubt in all that God had spoken to me. Before me I saw many deadlines, but I am reminded before Him , He sees a timeline where his purpose supersedes my deadlines and becomes a testimony!
I fund myself having my unemployment end in 2 weeks, my mission trip funding having to be paid in full at the end of this month, and my lease being up next month. I began to seek God about direction and what he wanted me to do. After many days of no clear answer I began to get anxious again as I began to entertain other peoples opinions as to what they think I should do because I took my eyes off of Jesus and all that he promised me. However, finally the Lord spoke to me about a job he wants me to apply for and I did Monday but now just waiting again lol You know just this morning I was thanking the Lord that he answered a prayer of mine. I remember the day I was released from my job I spent about 3 hours of the most sweetest time with him. I said in my heart “That I wish I waste working so I could spend all day with Jesus” and he gave me exactly what I asked for lol However, now with only 2 weeks left of income I am savoring each day thanking him for giving me such an amazing opportunity to get to know him more. That’s what He spoke to me “the reason he had me lose my job so I could know him more”
Then furthermore to my mission trip I am now at 66% percent with funding 100 percent from donors since I am not working right now. I am just amazed at Gods faithfulness thus far that I had no plan or no intention of going because once again I was looking at my circumstances that the God of the impossible that I serve. I found out about the trip the day of the deadline for submission with no funds to put the deposit however, he had a friend of mine call me and pay it all. He truly is faithful so I believe it is his will he will provide. One think I told him is that He has to come through because if not it will make him look bad lol So I am now sitting back and expecting to be in awe of Him!
Psalm 25: 3
No one who trust in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.
Lastly with my lease being up for renewal not sure whether he wants me to stay here or not just waiting on Him to get clarity on that. In the meantime I realize how everyone one of these trials and the many in between have drawn me closer to Jesus. He did mention the word for this year would be ‘child-like Trust” oh how that has been so true. He has been reminding me a child who is buckled in their booster seat in their parents car doesn’t question where their going, how long it takes to get there, doesn’t even really prepare for the trip because the parents have that all covered. They just sit back and enjoy the ride as the parents take care of ever direction maneuver, detour, filling up gas, travel expenses, clothing and food for this trip. So that’s what Jesus does when we to surrender our wills to him completely as little children trusting our Heavenly Father will and has already taken car of every need in this adventure called Life as we just have to sit back and enjoy the ride with its road bumps, curves, detours and all. Trials will always lead to trust if you allow God to have his way and believe in his promises despite what you see or experience. As I know anxiously wait with great expectation for His timeline to supersede my deadlines and turn into an amazing testimony!
“With great suffering comes great intimacy. Closeness, Tenderness and Understanding”- Jesus
-From Jesus with Love <3
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