When we surrender to the Lord we find ourselves so full of his love. We become so grateful of his grace to not only save us but make himself known to us. Oh, how wonderful that is! Then you want to share your testimony, your faith and him with everyone but, soon find many reject him. You don’t seem to understand why they don’t get it, why they don’t get Him, Jesus Christ and his wonderful grace for them. Oh how his heart breaks and sometimes you can even feel that grief and if your anything like me you will make a vow not to ever reject him as long as you live….by his grace of course. Even reading the scriptures of the Gospel and seeing how the Pharisees, the Jews, even though from his own city rejected him and I began to wonder being grieved again how could they. A few months ago I was so grieved looking at our nation, our world and so many still reject him and how its hurts him so deeply.
Then the Lord spoke to me and said you have rejected me and I said Yes, Lord before I knew you but I am all yours living for you now. I love you. Then He said No, even now you reject me and I said Lord how?! and He said seeking the affirmation from men and rejecting who I said you are and called you to be. Does my opinion not matter?….I melted
You see when I surrendered the Lord ask me to lay down not only my will, but my dreams, gifts and aspiration to follow him. I was CEO of An national African scholarship pageant called Face of Africa, I had my own clothing & Jewelry line called Nana O Couture, and I was just beginning to get my feet wet in acting again. I had told myself 2014 was the year to be fearless and move to NY to follow my dreams but, then the Lord interrupted as he always does right lol He revealed himself to me bringing me to my knees and asked me to lay all that down to follow him and wait on him. At first I kept wondering what am I waiting for then he opening my mind to visions and dreams he showed me he had called me for His use, for His purpose for ministry to be a servant of the Lord. I first thought “Me” Lord really, I never would have thought so I was so excited upon waking up when I had my calling dream seeing myself on televised stage praying and binding the enemy I then immediately text close family members that I finally realized what the Lord has called me to do! However, there response wasn’t what I expected no one really affirmed the dream at all then that’s when my doubting came in. So I began to seek the affirmation & confirmation of men who didn’t seem to see the call on my life. In the process continually rejecting what the Lord had shown me in dreams and spoken to me about in his word. Hence, rejected him over and over.
I remember having a clear vision of me running after crowds of people for a word of affirmation, confirmation as to who they think that I am and seeing the Lord far from me left all alone with his head down feeling neglected and rejected by me because to be honest his word wasn’t enough for me…sad but, true
I began to strive in all that I did so others would maybe see the anointing of God upon my life and if they praised me I was so excited and encouraged however, if they didn’t see it I would then be discouraged doubting that God has called me to use me.
John 12:43 – For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.
I remember even going to be counseled by an evangelist and she asked me what I was doing with my life and exciting told her God has called me for ministry and she asked how did I know. So I told her the Lord told me and he revealed it of course she paused for a moment then said sometimes we can interpret dreams wrong and that I shouldn’t be stagnant. I should start my business again, and if “I” want to go into ministry that I should take some bible course part time. To say the least I was confused, down trotted and utterly discouraged. However, the Lord reminded Nana again what did “I” tell you. Stop looking for the affirmation of men, pastors, prophets. I even had a dream where he was warning me about running too pastors and prophets he gave me the scriptures
Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
When the Lord called me he told me to wait on him, so everyone thought I was crazy for just stopping everything I was doing and just wait. Family members unknowing and lovely tried to push me to do something rather than just sit and being idle or so they thought. Not knowing God has and is continuing to work on my heart, mind, soul and spirit daily to be more like him. He is trying and testing me I need to show myself approved ONLY to GOD and NO ONE ELSE! I was reminded when a pastor made a statement that if you take credit for failure doing the work of God then you will take credit for the success of the work of God. Wow, what a powerful statement and one I need to be reminded of everyday.
Galatian 1:10
10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
So what has the Lord said about YOU, that you are not believing, what labels have been put on you that you need to take off or better yet have you been seeking your purpose, your identity and calling through others or only by Jesus Christ? Its definitely a learning, stretching and growing process but Trust God, Trust what he speaks to you, what he shows you and what his word says. (preaching to myself right now hehe) The Holy Spirit is the best teacher so “He” will teach us and guide us into all truth and to know that we shouldn’t ever live to seek the approval of men but, only of God and guess what he says about you…. and me too APPROVED! God bless you, Love you but, know he loves you more!
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